Birth Mother Blog

Why You Should Never Say “Give Up Baby” For Adoption

People used to think infant adoption was an abandonment of one’s child, a mother giving her baby up without caring about what happened to the child. That is completely wrong and untrue! You love your baby, and we all know you are making a beautiful sacrifice to give your child a loving, caring family with all the opportunities you may not have had. This may also be the best decision for you and your life.

There is nothing wrong with that. It is completely valid to want what is best for you and your baby, even if that means you are not going to raise that baby yourself. It is completely valid to not want to raise your child, but instead, help them start life with their adoptive mommy who will care for them and always put them first. Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to stand by you and help everyone see the error of the phrase “giving up your baby” for adoption in MO. We know the true courage, love, value, and merit of infant adoption and this decision.

“Giving” Your Baby Up For Adoption

The phrase “giving up your baby” makes it seem you do not care about your baby or that placing your baby up for adoption in Kansas City is an easy decision. This phrase and way of thinking make it seem like you did not spend hours upon hours agonizing over this choice to give your baby a better life. This amazing sacrifice is you trying to give your baby and yourself better lives and do what is best for the both of you. It is not an easy decision. But it is the right decision for you both.

Counseling Services Following Placing Your Baby Up For Adoption

You care so much about your baby that you are making this big sacrifice to give them a better life and a loving family. This is not an easy decision, and you may be wracked with anxiety and guilt over this decision. I am sure you did not come to this decision easily. You may have some unresolved anxiety, guilt, or depression about this choice. You can seek professional pregnant adoption help through your Missouri adoption agency caseworker. They can set you up with a counselor at New Perspectives Therapeutic Services to help you find peace with your decision.

The Positive Language of “Putting” or “Placing” Your Baby Up For Adoption

Many prefer positive language, such as “placing your child up for adoption” or “putting your child up for adoption,” in order to show respect to all individuals involved in the adoption process. Think about it. If you were a baby “given up for adoption,” how would you feel? Rather than a baby “placed for adoption” with a loving family? It seems like a big difference in those phrases. One holds so much sadness and negativity, while the other holds positivity and happiness.

Once your baby is placed up for adoption in Missouri, you never give up on them. You are giving them a chance to have a great life with a loving family. Birth mothers can even stay in contact with their children post-adoption. If you were “giving your child up,” you wouldn’t be able to see them later on, right?

Adoption Agreements: Semi-Open, Open, Closed Adoptions

If you wish to see your baby in the future, you can choose a semi-open or open adoption. If you choose to have no contact with your baby in the future, you can select a closed adoption. The types of adoption you choose must be agreed upon with the adoptive family prior to the finalization of your child’s adoption.

How to Find the Right Support During Your Adoption Proces in MO

“Giving a child up for adoption” connotes negative emotions that can only aggravate your negative feelings towards yourself and the situation. There is no reason to make yourself feel worse. As wonderful as the process of adoption is, you may need time to grieve and heal from it. You are placing your baby with a loving family, but you are also losing the chance to raise them yourself. You have every right to feel anger, pain, sadness from this, but also happiness and peace.

You can work through these feelings with a counselor from New Perspectives Therapeutic Services or other counseling resources. This is what your counselor is for, to support you through this process. Adoption Choices of Missouri is by your side through both the good and the bad. You are not giving up on your baby or on parenting. You are starting a difficult but rewarding journey that Adoption Choices of Missouri fully supports. We are by your side no matter what. We will help you see the value in your choice and that you never “gave up” your baby but are helping them find all the love you wish them to have!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

CarlyMeet the author: Carly is a recent graduate of Connecticut College with a dual degree in Psychology and Italian Studies. Graduating Cum Laude with honors in both Psychology and Italian departments, Carly has a background in gender-related research through the Connecticut College Psychology Department and Honors Theses Program. When not trying to figure out life or working, Carly is reading historical fiction novels or playing with her black cat, Isabelle.