Birth Mother Blog

Why Giving Up My Baby is Used in Missouri Adoptions

As an expectant mother in Missouri who is considering adoption, you will hear many adoption terminologies as you begin your adoption process. Our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, will support you and help you develop the adoption language that is right for you as a birth mother. Your adoption story is such a beautiful choice that you might want to express it someday. Understanding adoption language, both positive and negative, will help you as a birth mother understand how to talk about your adoption as a whole. Adoption terminology is so important to know and will help you as a birth mother explains to people in or out of your life and your birth child, address all the questions or reasons you chose adoption. 

As a birth mother, being prepared to use the right language will help you as a birth mother and help other potential birth mothers share their adoption stories. Every term has an important meaning. The term “giving up my baby” is a retired term you may have heard when talking about adoption. However, this term may still be used from time to time. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we will tell you why we use this term and the importance of using positive language when speaking about adoption. Remember, as a birth mother, your adoption story is yours alone, and whichever terms you use to tell your adoption journey will be unique to you. No matter what anyone says, your chosen adoption language will be the best to tell your adoption story.

Why the Phrase “Giving Up My Baby” is Still Used Today

“Giving up my baby” may be said to an expectant mother to let people know she is considering adoption. Although this has a negative connotation attached to it, as an older term, at a time, this might have been used as a young expectant mother might have had to give her child up for adoption but not by choice. However, choosing adoption is a beautiful choice that might allow your child a home filled with joy. You are not giving your child any means; you are letting your child gain a family and should feel no guilt about that. This term may be older. However, you should replace this term with a more positive phrase for pregnant women considering adoption. She can say, “Place your baby up for adoption, as this phrase is more light-hearted and holds a more positive connotation than” give your baby up for adoption,” as this could seem like a more forceful phrase towards a new birth mother. Using positive adoption language when speaking to or as a birth mother will help you feel better about your choice of adoption.

Learning to Use Positive Adoption Language 

Adoption language can be positive or negative, depending on how you want to tell your adoption story. Now, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri will provide you with the proper positive language you will need when speaking about your adoption journey.

 Here are four phrases that you could say instead of saying “giving up my baby.” The following phrases are a good example of how you can express the joy and relief you might feel when discussing your adoption choice. 

  • I am placing my baby up for adoption.
  • I am choosing adoption for my child.
  • I am proud to choose adoption.
  • My choice of adoption is the best for my child. 

Advice for a Birth Mothers Going Through an Adoption

As a birth mother, you may be wondering why the term “give your baby” is still around today. This may be due to older generations not understanding the negative effect that it may have had on a birth mother. As a retired term, remember that you, as a birth mother, have control over your adoption. Positive adoption language is important as it may remind you of the reason why you choose adoption and how happy you might be that your child has the life you wanted for them. Our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, will support you and help you create positive language phrases that will let people know how proud you might be to be a birth mother.               

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.