Birth Mother Blog

Why Does Missouri Adoption Still Carry So Much Stigma?

By Jonathan Tick

There can be some negative feelings for birth mothers when they think about pursuing adoption in Missouri. While adoption has become more common, the stigmas surrounding adoption have also stuck around. As a result, some birth mothers think giving a baby up for adoption might not be their best option.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to reassure birth mothers that adoption is better than what those stigmas say. You may feel unsure about the decision to pursue adoption, and that’s ok. However, we want you to choose what’s best for your unplanned pregnancy. Below are a few stigmas and stereotypes about adoption and how they compare to how adoption works.

1) Birth Mothers Are Too Lazy to Take Care of a Child

While it’s true that birth mothers have reasons to seek adoption at a local adoption agency, laziness usually isn’t why. Birth mothers who seek our adoption agencies in Missouri can have many different reasons why they’re seeking adoption. Maybe they believe that they’re not mentally fit to raise a child. Or maybe their home situation they think isn’t suitable to raise a child. These reasons usually keep the child in mind. And the mothers don’t see their baby as something disposable or something they can pawn off at an adoption center.  

2) Adoption is as Simple as Dropping Off the Baby

The adoption process is much longer and more involved than people think. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, the birth mother is there controlling every step of the process via their adoption plan. This process usually spans the entirety of their pregnancy up to the baby’s birth. This is because we believe that the birth mother should control their and their baby’s future so that she can feel confident in her choices and decide for herself what’s ultimately who or what is best for their child.

3) Birth Mothers Never See Their Children Again

It’s true that birth mothers in the past never saw their children again once they were adopted. But these days, the opposite is happening more and more. These new forms of adoption are referred to as ‘open adoptions. ’Where the birth mother stays in touch with their baby and adoptive family once the baby is born.    

When choosing adoption in Missouri, birth mothers are given the option to keep in contact with their baby. If they do so, regular contact is done at the birth mother and adopted family’s discretion. This way, children no longer have to wonder where they come from. And they can potentially embrace their identity as an adopted child knowing that their mother was thinking of their future. Instead of wondering forever about the reason why their birth parents didn’t want them.  

4) Adoption Creates ‘Irregular’ Families

As time marches, the idea of ‘regular’ families has become increasingly muddied. LGBTQ+ families, families with divorced parents, and other combinations of guardians have become more common than nuclear families. As such, the argument that adoption creates irregular families becomes something harder to argue for.  

Not only that, but adopted children are more likely to feel even more loved by their adopted family. Especially since our parent screening process usually selects families willing to care for their newly adopted children.  

5) Adopted Children Will Hate that They Were Adopted Out

This stigma usually comes from classmates teasing the adopted child about the fact that they were adopted. Or because of other things like not knowing who their parents are due to never talking to their birth parents. These factors can contribute to a negative outlook from the child. And can dampen their mood and feelings about their situation as an adopted child.  

While this negativity hasn’t completely gone away, adoption has slowly been seen in a much better light. And many outlets on social media look at the practice positively instead of as something to be ashamed of. Which are some positive ways an adopted child can see their situation as something to be proud of and cherish.

6) Only Certain People Can Adopt Children

Adoption agencies may have strict screening processes, but the criteria they’re looking at are looser than you may think. Adoption Choices of Missouri screens every potential family to ensure they can take care of the child. Either by ensuring they have a good enough environment to raise the child or by knowing their willingness to care for them.  

While it may seem strict at first, in reality, many different kinds of people can become adoptive parents. We have files of single parents, LGBTQ+ parents, and a whole list of other combinations as potential adoptive families. Our goal is to ensure that every child makes it to a good home ready to take care of them, as that’s how the birth mothers and we ultimately decide that you get the opportunity to care for their child.  

So if you’re looking to adopt, Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800