Birth Mother Blog

Understanding Adoption Expectations: Navigating the Realities of Adoption

By: Maleah Adams

Considering adoption can be an emotional and complex decision made by birth mothers. The weight of such a choice is heavy and the impact of making that choice can present itself differently. It all depends on the mindset and the situation of the birth parents. If you have decided that adoption is the best option for your baby, it’s important to control your expectations. The first step in doing so is to ensure that you remain informed throughout the entire adoption process. This will allow you to better understand the details of your personal journey. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we will work to help you navigate these expectations so you are fully prepared for the realities of adoption. 

What are Unrealistic Adoption Expectations? 

Many expectations can arise after you ask: how do I put my baby up for adoption? It’s important to recognize that some of those expectations are unrealistic. Unrealistic expectations can stem from a variety of sources or can simply just be wishful thinking. One common unrealistic expectation is the belief in having complete control over choosing the adoptive family or expecting frequent, unrestricted contact with the child after placement. While these desires are understandable, they may not always align with the realities of the adoption process, which is governed by laws, ethical considerations, and the best interests of the child.

When choosing adoption, you may have already decided how you want the entire process to play out. However, it’s important to understand that those expectations may not be in the best interest of all parties involved. It can also prove to be difficult to manage all of these expectations during the heightened experience of a pregnancy. Once you have chosen the level of openness you desire (open, semi-open, closed) you will then assist your adoption counselor in narrowing down the adoptive families.

If you choose open adoption, you are saying that you wish to have some type of contact with your child after they are born. A family that also chooses open adoption as their preferred level of openness will adopt your baby. It’s important to understand that you will not be hand-picking the family the child goes to. Adoption Choices of Missouri will ensure that your baby will be placed with the adoptive family that is in their best interest. 

What are Realistic Adoption Expectations? 

It is of utmost importance for birth mothers to have access to honest and accurate information about adoption. This transparency helps in setting realistic expectations right from the start, ensuring that birth mothers are prepared for the journey ahead. Knowing the legal and procedural aspects of adoption can help in managing expectations and making informed decisions. Having this information and creating realistic expectations can assist you in crafting the adoption plan that works best for you and your child. 

Realistic expectations for birth mothers can include:
  • Receiving support throughout the adoption process
  • Having the opportunity to choose an adoptive family with shared values who will provide a loving and secure home 
  • Potentially maintaining some level of contact with the child

The degree of contact, whether it’s through letters, emails, or visits, often depends on the type of adoption agreement and the laws of the state. Open communication and clear agreements with the adoptive family are crucial in setting these expectations. It’s important for both parties to discuss their preferences openly to establish a foundation of mutual respect. This clarity can help prevent misunderstandings and set the stage for a healthy relationship moving forward.

Adoption Support in Missouri 

Throughout this journey, emotional support and pregnancy help for birth mothers are non-negotiable. The decision to place a child for adoption can bring a range of emotions regarding your child’s future. Knowing you have options for unplanned pregnancy is the first step in creating a better life for your baby. Access to adoption services such as support groups, therapists specializing in adoption, and knowledgeable local adoption agencies can provide invaluable assistance. These resources can offer guidance, understanding, and a sense of community, helping birth mothers to feel supported and understood.

While giving a child up for adoption is filled with emotional complexities, setting realistic expectations can significantly ease the journey for birth mothers. By seeking out accurate information on adoption in Missouri, establishing open communication with the adoptive family, and accessing emotional support, birth mothers can navigate the adoption process with greater confidence and peace of mind. 

Please do not hesitate to contact Adoption Choices of Missouri with any questions or concerns you may have regarding unplanned pregnancy or the adoption process.