Top 4 Myths about Teen Pregnancy That You Should Know as a Teenage Birth Mother
Going through an unplanned pregnancy as a teenager can definitely be a crazy time in your life — especially if you’re worried about school, exams, and what’s ahead of you in life. Being pregnant on top of that brings a rollercoaster of emotions that are perfectly understandable to feel. Not to mention the potential negativity you may experience from family, friends, co-workers and complete strangers due to the various stereotypes surrounding teen pregnancy.
But not to worry. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the top four myths that come along with being a young teenage expectant mother.
1. Myth: A Baby will Fix Your Relationship with Your Partner or Spouse
Many have thought that having a baby would fix a relationship and create a stronger bonder between them and their partner or spouse. The thought crosses their mind: “Okay, now I am pregnant, and he will stay with me.” The truth is, though, some young boys who get girls pregnant are not ready for the big responsibility of parenthood.. Sadly, when they find out you are pregnant, you are sometimes left on your own to care for your baby.
Pregnancy and parenthood can put a strain on your relationship, particularly if it’s still developing or unhealthy. You may want a child of your own at some point in life, but timing is a large part of that, as is finding the right person. If your partner or spouse is not ready to become a parent, he or she may choose to walk away when they learn you are expecting. So, it’s important to remember that having a baby may not magically fix your issues. Instead, your unplanned pregnancy may end up making them worse because the issues you’re experiencing are deeper and not related to the baby at all. This isn’t to say thatyoung relationships do not last, but they take a lot of time, hard work and communication before you decide to become parents together.
2. Myth: You Won’t Be a Good Young Birth Mother
You may have heard this phrase a lot. It’s not an easy one to hear, as it may also be one of your greatest fears with having a child at a young age. However, it’s important to remember that this myth is making a big assumption about you. It is making a speculation about your maturity level and voicing an opinion about your ability to parent. The thing is, only you know what you’re capable of. People in your life may think or say that you won’t be a good birth mother, but you get the final say on whether or not this is true. If you do not feel ready for motherhood, then it would be best to consider your unplanned pregnancy options to determine what’s best for you and your child. After all, motherhood takes time and isn’t a decision to be made lightly.
However, if you are able to admit that you’re not in a place where you provide for your child physically, emotionally, mentally and financially, then you are providing this myth wrong. Because you are selflessly and courageously putting the needs of your baby above your own, you are being an incredible and loving birth mother to your child.
3. Myth: Your Life is Over
When you unexpectedly become pregnant, you will probably hear those around you say — or think yourself — that “your life is over.” This common phrase is not only rude to say, but it’s also insulting to the life growing inside of you. Having a child does not mean your life is over. Quite the opposite. Becoming a parent is an amazing journey and blesses your life in a myriad of ways.
However, at the same time, it does mean that your life may need to be on hold or change for your child. That’s a major part of parenthood. Your child becomes your first priority. So, if you’re aren’t ready to commit to this and want to focus more on completing your life goals, then it would be best to consider adoption as an option.
4. Myth: You will Have to Give Up Your Teenage Years
Another myth you may hear if you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy as a teen is that you’ll have to stop having fun with friends, and that you’ll miss out on special moments of your high school years — like prom or graduation. However, this myth is false. Most teen birth moms still can experience these special moments, even if they are pregnant. You will be able to enjoy the dance and time spent with friends, and your graduation gown will still fit and give you the chance to celebrate your hard work and accomplishments.
Being pregnant as a teen doesn’t mean you’ll have to give up your teenage years. After all, you’re still a teenager and nothing can change that. It will mean, though, that you’ll need to be careful what choices you make to ensure the health and safety of both you and your baby.
Advice to Teenage Pregnant Mothers
As a young teenage expectant mother, you need to know that whatever option you choose — whether to parent, place your child up for adoption or terminate your pregnancy — you will never be alone. You will have the full support from our local adoption agency, your adoption counselor, and your adoption caseworker. You may face challenges whichever route you take through your pregnancy, but you should never feel ashamed of your decision. If you choose to place your baby up for adoption, you will have the lifelong reward of being a birth mother, and have the opportunity to watch your child grow with their adoptive family.
These four myths about teen pregnancy may make you question things or leave you feeling anxious, but you can overcome them by being the confident, mature mother that you are deep down inside.
Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.
Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.
Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.
She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.