The Top 5 Tips to Use to Communicate in an Open Adoption for a Birth Mother 

Communication is an essential tool to have as a birth mother as you navigate down the path of adoption. Having open communication with your child’s adoptive parents will help you. This way, you can build lifelong bonds between your child and their adoptive parents in your adoption journey.

Now, communication in an open adoption can be difficult as you don’t want to overstep your birth parent role. With the help of our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the top 5 tips that can help you better communicate in your open adoption.

Ways to Communicate in an Open Adoption for a Birth Mother 

1. Use Positive Adoption Language

Adoption has many terms that you will hear and come across through your adoption journey. You may listen to them speak to you or about you. As a birth mother, you will probably listen to questions like, “Why did you give your child up?” A critical response would be not to answer this question; however, the positive way to answer this question is to say, “I placed my child up for adoption to give him or her a better life.”

Using positive adoption language is so important for you as a birth mother. It will help you embrace your adoption choice and help you heal during the painful moments with positive emotions surrounding your adoption. This will also provide you with a positive way to form a bond with your birth child, adoptive parents, and adoptive community.

2. Use All Social Media Platforms 

Having social media accounts is a great way to keep in touch with your birth child and his or her adoptive parents. Social media pages, like Facebook and Instagram, are great platforms to share photos of you and your child’s precious moments with your child’s adoptive family, if given permission. They are also great ways to share your personal adoption story and become an advocate for why adoption is such an important decision to make.

3. Embrace Changes to Your Adoption Plan

Whether you are just beginning your adoption or your adoption is already finalized, changes between you and your child’s adoptive family may occur. For instance, they may move to another state, and communication may be less for a time. Make sure to be open and honest about the changes in your birth child’s life and how you want to approach and tackle these things when speaking with your child’s adoptive parents. The better prepared you are for these upcoming changes means the more positive reaction you have towards the situation and the future interactions between you and the adoptive family.

4. Set Boundaries for your Adoption 

As a birth mother, you may want to set boundaries for your adoption. Letting the adoptive parents know how involved you will be in your child’s life, is a great way to is a great way to all stay on the same page. It is also a good thing to let the adoptive parents know that you will work with them to help your birth child succeed in life.

Setting boundaries between you, your child, the adoptive parents can be a bit challenging. Navigating the different communication relationships can cause a bit of chaos. But, your thoughts and level of openness matters. As a birth mother, you and the adoptive mother may communicate daily or sometimes very little; however, that does not mean that the adoptive parents do not value your parenting input.  Remember, you still have a say in some of the decisions when it comes to your child, as you are still an important part of your birth child’s life.

5. Keep Open Communication with the Adoptive Parents

Having open communication between you and your child’s adoptive parents is as important as your relationship with you and your child as they grow and move forward through the years. Keeping an open mind when communicating your thoughts or concerns to your child’s adoptive parents reassures them that you are free to every type of conversation and that you have a valued opinion on certain things regarding your child. Also, no matter if you disagree on certain things, you will be understanding and open to suggestions and listen with an open heart. Communication is the key to a positive adoption as a whole.

Open Communication for Birth Mothers in an Open Adoption 

As a birth mother, communication can happen more or less with you and your birth child’s family. Depending on your comfort level, you can use any communication tools that feel comfortable to you. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we understand how difficult and rewarding the choice of adoption is for you as a birth mother. In saying this, you deserve a voice as another parent to your birth child.

Open communication will provide you with a sense of belonging and peace in developing an open and honest relationship where you will be valued and give support throughout your adoption journey.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.