The Top 5 Frequently Asked Adoption Questions Adoptees have the Birth Mothers
As a birth mother, your birth child might be curious about their birth family or identity. Now, adoption is a beautiful choice, but it comes with some hard and personal questions that you might have to answer even years from now. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the five frequently asked questions that you, a birth mother, might be asked by your birth child someday. Here are the top five frequently asked questions adoptees have for their birth mothers.
Top 5 Frequently Asked Questions Adoptees have the Birth Mothers
- Why Did You Place Me Up For Adoption?Many might find this to be a loaded question. You might tell your child that you were young and unprepared to be a mother during this time in your life. Or you may not have been financially stable to parent a child– whatever the reason behind your choice to place your child up for adoption, know that your child might understand someday and that they will still love you regardless.
- Are You and My Birth Father Together?As a birth mother, your child may be wondering if you and their birth father are still together or how your relationship unfolded after you became pregnant. You can expect a question like this. It’s only natural for your child to be curious about you and their birth father and the circumstances surrounding their adoption. When answering this question, be honest with them and let them know whatever details you feel comfortable with. If this is something you are not ready to share now, you can always let them know you will tell them to know when they are older. Knowing about your relationship with their birth father might help them better understand that time in your life later on.
- What is my Birth Heritage?As a birth mother, speaking to your child about biological heritage and where they come from is an important question. It helps your child feel connected to their cultural roots and heritage traditions that are particular to their birth family. Replying to these questions in a heartwarming way will allow your child to learn more about you and where they come from to help them gain a part of their biological identity.
- Do I Have Any Birth Siblings?Answering this question might stir up some mixed emotions for you as you may be feeling a bit of guilt for having children later in your life while not being able to take care of your birth child. Your child might ask this question as they want to know more about their birth family and the people who look like them. Answering this question might be easy or difficult for you if you are experiencing any post-adoption emotions, and that’s perfectly okay; it just means taking your time to introduce everyone to each other. Any information you can provide to your birth child about their siblings will make them happy.
- Was Your Adoption Decision Met With Support?Having a support system during your adoption process is important because you are going through one of the hardest but rewarding times of your life, you will be a birth mother and need help learning and preparing for your unborn child in the early months. As a birth mother who chose adoption, explaining to your child the many reasons you decided on adoption is important to remember. Whether you are a teenage or adult birthmother, you deserve the support you want and need from a parent, partner, friend; you will have someone there to lend an arm, shoulder, or whatever you need to support you during this time, as you are never alone.
Advice to Birth Mothers Answering Adoption Questions
The five frequently asked questions listed above might be asked to you by your child, along with many more. These questions are for your child’s benefit to help him or they understand the two sides of the same coin— On one side, they have their adoption journey, and on the other side, they have the story before their birth. Adoption Choices of Missouri, our adoption agency, is here to help you as a birth mother prepare to answer these and many more adoption questions your birth child may have because their birth child’s story matters.
Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French. She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.
Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication, and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.
Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion and loves to pull from her top passions in life.
She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.