Reasons Birth Mothers Choose Adoption in Missouri
By Zoë Bowlus
You’re pregnant, and you weren’t planning on it. Everything is going to be ok. Take a deep breath. You can make an adoption plan that works for you.
You may be experiencing a jumble of confusing emotions right now. That’s natural. There is a lot to consider, but figuring out what to do next is entirely up to you. Maybe you don’t feel ready to raise a child or you don’t want to be a parent. Maybe you don’t want to terminate your pregnancy. Perhaps you don’t feel supported enough to care for a baby.
If you’re unsure how to proceed with your pregnancy and you’re considering giving a child up for adoption, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. Let’s explore and destigmatize some of the most common reasons birth mothers choose adoption in Missouri.
I’m considering adoption for my baby because:
I’m not ready to be a parent…
Maybe the timing isn’t right for a baby. You may want to be a parent someday, just not right now.
If you’re in your teens, you may not feel prepared to take on the responsibility of raising a child. If you don’t have access to childcare, you may worry about how you’d be able to graduate from high school or hold down a job and take care of your baby.
Likewise, as a college student, juggling the demands of both parenting and earning a degree might feel like too much to handle.
Maybe you’re focused on your career at this point in your life, and you fear that starting a family now would mean sacrificing your success in the work world.
I don’t want to be a parent…
Maybe you don’t have any desire to have a baby, now or ever. You might feel that a baby will impede your lifestyle, career trajectory, or long-term goals.
If you’re an older mother, you might be afraid that you aren’t physically able to take care of a baby. You may want your baby to be raised by younger parents instead.
I don’t want to be a single parent…
You may not want to raise a child without a partner. Maybe the birth father is not willing to support the baby. Or, perhaps, he is not in the picture at all.
The idea of being a single mom may understandably feel overwhelming to you. Unsure how you’ll be able to provide for a baby on a single income? Do you fear that parenting and holding a job will stretch you too thin? Maybe you’d just prefer to raise a child in a two-parent household.
I don’t have the resources to raise a child…
You may feel unable to give your baby financial stability. Perhaps you don’t feel like you can provide your child with the resources they need to thrive.
You might hope that an adoptive family would be able to give your child an improved quality of life that you wouldn’t be able to provide.
If you’re already worried about your finances right now, you may be even more worried when faced with the costs of raising a child.
I live in an unsafe environment…
You may be concerned about exposing your baby to an unstable and unhealthy environment. Is the birth father abusive? Do you have a partner or spouse who is abusive? Do you live with people who are violent? If so, you might worry that you can’t give your child a safe home.
I don’t want to expand my family…
Maybe you already have children and find yourself unexpectedly pregnant. You may not have the emotional energy to care for another child you weren’t planning for — or the financial resources. An unplanned pregnancy might affect your ability to provide financially, physically and emotionally for your existing children.
I don’t have my family’s support…
Perhaps your family members aren’t supportive of your pregnancy. They may not be willing to help you financially, offer childcare or be there for you emotionally. You may be scared to raise a child if your family doesn’t have your back.
I’m incarcerated…
You may worry about what life will look like for your child if you’re in prison. You might feel that taking care of your child during your incarceration is going to be too hard. If you’re pregnant and incarcerated, you can arrange for adoption. See our blog post here for more information about your adoption options from prison.
I’m unable to raise a child…
Living with a physical or mental disability or a major health problem might cause you to worry that parenting will be too difficult for you.
If any of these reasons birth mothers choose adoption speak to you…
You may want to choose adoption yourself. Every birth mother’s situation is unique. As you can see, the reasons birth mothers choose adoption vary. By choosing adoption, you are making the decision to guarantee security, stability, and opportunities for your child.
Whatever your circumstances, adoption is a possibility for you and your baby. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to support you with compassion and respect, no matter what choice you make. We offer non-judgmental counseling to birth mothers of all backgrounds.