Placing Your Second Baby Up For Adoption With The Same Adoptive Family

Have you placed a child up for adoption in Missouri in the past? Are you now pregnant and considering adoption again? Are you contemplating placing your second baby up for adoption in Missouri, just as you did in the past?  Adoption Choices of Missouri knows these situations exist and wants to help you. It can often be beneficial to both birth parents and their children if the children are placed with the same family as their biological siblings.

Placing Your Second Baby Up For Adoption

A great thing about choosing the same family for both your children is that you know the family. You went through the Missouri adoption process and knew the family you chose the last time you went through this process. They are not strangers, and if you have an open adoption, you know how they treat your elder child and if this child is truly being raised the way you wish them to be raised.

This could make your choice of who to adopt your second child an easier decision than the first time you made it. You have a relationship with these people and may even feel like they are an extended family to you. Wanting your second child to be raised with, in the same household, and in the same way as their elder sibling can be a beautiful wish. It can be a load of stress off of you to know the perfect family is out there, ready to be picked by you because you have already picked them. They have also already been approved by your Kansas City, Missouri adoption agency in the past and have gone through this process before.

Adopting More Than One Kid

However, before you get your hopes up, know that they may not be ready to adopt another child if you have not discussed this with the adoptive family yet. The family may not be financially ready for another child, may not have the space, or may not want to raise a second child. Unfortunately, if this is the case, you have to accept this and look for another family for your second child. Luckily, you have been through this process before and know what you are looking for in a family for your baby.

Missouri Adoption Agreement With Your Child’s Adoptive Family

If you haven’t been in contact with the family that adopted your first child, you can try to reach out through your Kansas City, Missouri adoption agency caseworker. Do you have an open adoption with your first child? If not, maybe you and the adoptive family should sit down and discuss this if you want an open adoption with your second child. The type of adoption you choose should be similar to the type of adoption you chose the first time around if both of your children will be living under the same roof.

It may be best for both children if you have the same adoption agreement if they are living together and being raised together. It isn’t very fair to one child to see you come visit their sibling and not have any contact with them. If the children know they are related and were both placed up for adoption by you, it may be best for them to receive the same type of treatment. If you visit one child, the other would feel left out if you did not visit or show you thought of them as well.

Open Adoption: Visitation

Another thing to keep in mind when visiting the children is the amount of attention you give both of them. Visiting one child, you can give him or her all of your attention, but visiting two or more can mean you may need to divide up your attention for each of them. As with all siblings, older siblings often feel they need more attention to keep up with the new baby sibling’s attention. If you have an open adoption and visit the children, maybe keep this in mind when interacting with them on visits.

Communication and Adoption Agreement With The Adoptive Family

If the family is alright with adopting your second baby and raising both children together, make a plan and decide with the adoptive family if you will talk about what is happening before or after the second baby’s delivery with their sibling. If there is a possibility you will change your mind about parenting, maybe you should wait until after the birth and then decide with the family how to explain this to the older sibling who the family adopted first. Decide what to say if the baby is the other child’s half or full sibling. Depending on how old the elder child is, they may need to have this explained to them, or you and the family may decide the half or full status does not matter and does not need to be disclosed. That is your decision as a familial unit discussing how to handle all of this.

Our Kansas City Adoption Agency Will HelpYou Place Your Second Baby Up For Adoption

In the end, keep the channels of communication open. Think of what is best not only for yourself but for your children. If your elder child’s family is able to take their baby sibling, that is a wonderful thing. Just keep in mind that it is not always a viable option because not everyone is able to adopt more than one child, especially at the exact time you’re pregnant. Adoption Choices of Missouri knows how precarious these situations can seem, and we want to help you make this dream a reality, but we are also ready to help you find the perfect family for your new baby if plan A falls through. We hope it won’t, but we are ready to support you in any way we can.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

Meet the author: Carly is a recent graduate of Connecticut College with a dual degree in Psychology and Italian Studies. Graduating Cum Laude with honors in both Psychology and Italian departments, Carly has a background in gender-related research through the Connecticut College Psychology Department and Honors Theses Program. When not trying to figure out life or working, Carly is reading historical fiction novels or playing with her black cat, Isabelle.