Birth Mother Blog

Questions or Comments for Birth Mothers to Never Ask Adoptive Parents

July 5, 2021

Questions or Comments for Birth Mothers to Never Ask Adoptive Parents

Adoption can be a complicated world to navigate – especially when it comes to knowing in advance what kinds of questions are appropriate to ask adoptive parents. Asking them questions is the best way to get to know them better, and Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you to know what kinds of questions or comments to never ask adoptive parents. 

Questions or Comments to Never Ask Adoptive Parents

  1. You’re such an amazing person!

Anyone who says this is trying to be nice, which is understandable. Complimenting your child’s potential adoptive parents is a thoughtful gesture and a kind to do. Unfortunately, this statement can also come across as awkward. What this statement unintentionally implies is that the potential adoptive parents are some kind of superhero or saint for choosing the adoption process.

  1. Will you tell my child that they’re adopted?

This is never a good question to ask an adoptive parent, as it makes the assumption there’s shame in bringing up the topic. However, as the birth mother, you know that this isn’t true. Depending on the type of adoption you choose and the agreement you make with your child’s adoptive parents, you will want them to be comfortable and freely discuss adoption with your son or daughter. Adoption is not a taboo subject that should be swept under the rug and is not supposed to be a secret that they keep for years and years. Adoptive parents should love celebrating the day that their child was adopted and let him or her know that they can talk about their adoption story anytime they want. In fact, it’s best when the adoptive parents start using the word “adoption” early on so that they all become comfortable using it in everyday language. 

  1. Why couldn’t you have your own kids?

As a birth mother, you know that having a child is the most beautiful thing in the world and brings great joy. There are some people who can’t have children because of infertility and it’s always a heavy subject to talk about. Using the phrase “your own kids” implies that your child won’t become their own and the adoptive parents will not appreciate the implication. It is important to understand that this is an insensitive question. 

  1. Will, your child(ren) treat my child as their own sibling?

The way that this question is asked can imply that there is a gap or separation between the biological children and your child. The fact is that it doesn’t matter if the other children are biological or not — they’re still part of the family. It’s also important to understand that all adoptive families will go through an adjustment period after bringing home your child, but that doesn’t change anything either. Your child belongs to their family. 

  1. You’re totally going to get pregnant now!

This is completely insensitive of you to say something like this because you are approaching the heavy subject of infertility. The adoptive parent(s) may feel inadequate when they hear this and cause undue pain. Not only that, but you are also implying that adoption is a second choice and not as good as having children naturally. 

Positive Statements/Questions to Use Instead

Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you learn to ask the proper questions. On the flip side, here are some positive questions to get to the adoptive parents better:

  1. Is your family close?

This is a good question to ask. The adoptive parents may or may not already have biological children; but, even so, they will be open to discussing their close relationships. Families who are close are always loving and patient with each other, despite the times that there are arguments about most anything. Close relationships are visible and create good and beautiful memories.

  1. Do you have any pets?

Pets are always a great conversation starter. People take great pride in their pets. This is an especially good question to ask if you would like your child to be raised with pets. Ask how many they have and what kind — cats, dogs, fish, rabbits, etc. For instance, if the adoptive parents have a dog, ask about the breed and how friendly it is around kids. Share your own memories if you had a favorite pet from your childhood. Pet stories are a good ice breaker.

  1. What are some of your favorite family traditions?

This is an absolutely wonderful question! Traditions are always a great topic of conversation because it focuses on the togetherness of the family and you can learn so much about a family’s quirks. If the adoptive parents are from another racial or cultural background, this question can serve as an opportunity to learn about their history and origin and find out about their traditions. Traditions serve as a gateway to forming solid relationships 

  1. What types of activities and interests are you excited to share with my child?

This is a good question. People love activities! It will get the adoptive parents talking about what they like to do for fun. They might even want to demonstrate some of their activities for you and play a game or two with you so that you know what they like to play. If they like baking or cooking, you can ask about some of their favorite foods. If you share a common interest in playing musical instruments, one great activity to do together as you are getting to know each other better is to have a small jam session.

What You Should and Shouldn’t Ask Adoptive Parents

Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you understand what kinds of questions are okay to ask. Getting to know adoptive parents is always scary, but it’s going to be okay. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Office and Disney movies.

Through her blogs and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.

 

Birth Mother Questions for Missouri Adoption Agency
Birth Mother Blog

The Top 5 Questions for Birth Mothers to Ask our Adoption Agency in Missouri

September 28, 2020

The Top 5 Questions for Birth Mothers to Ask our Adoption Agency in Missouri

By Sofia Becker

Adoption in Missouri can be a difficult road to navigate. If this is your first time looking into giving a child up for adoption, there are most certainly a ton of questions that you will probably have. Never fear! Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you with the questions to ask our adoption agency in Missouri. 

  1. I’m considering adoption for my baby. Why should I work with Adoption Choices of Missouri?

Our agency offers many great resources! These include court-approved birthing expenses such as financial assistance, medical care, temporary housing, and transportation. Once you are assigned an adoption caseworker, they will assess your circumstances and see what you qualify for. 

As a birth mother with our agency, you will also have access to our free, private, and confidential counseling services, which extend to the birth father and any other family members who are interested in speaking to someone as well. Throughout your adoption journey, you will be treated with the utmost respect by a team of compassionate, specialized adoption professionals. Our goal is to provide the most positive and empowering experience possible for you and your child. 

  1. How much does it cost to place my baby for adoption in Missouri?

Good news! If you choose to work with our agency, placing your baby for adoption comes at no cost to you. 

  1. What types of adoptions do you do?

We offer three different types of adoption: open, semi-open, and closed. Each of these has its own pros and cons, so be sure to consult with your adoption caseworker to learn more. They will happily answer all your questions and address any concerns you have regarding what each type entails.

Our agency encourages and specializes in open adoptions, as we believe that this particular type keeps the best interests of all the members in the adoption triad at heart. However, we understand that each and every birth mother is unique and has her own story. Thus, the other two options are available, so that you can customize your adoption journey to what’s best for you and your child. 

  1. Will I get to choose my child’s adoptive parents?

Yes! As a birth mother, you have full control over your adoption journey. Your adoption caseworker will help you create an adoption plan and give guidance whenever you need it. Selecting your child’s adoptive parents is part of this process. 

After you have determined what kind of life you’d like your child to have, and the level of openness you want with both your child and your child’s adoptive parents, your adoption caseworker will provide you with profile photo books, detailing information about who they are and what opportunities they can offer your son or daughter. 

  1. What happens after the adoption is finalized?

Depending on the adoption agreement you have made with your child’s adoptive parents, you can maintain contact with your child through virtual resources, such as ZOOM, FaceTime, or Skype, or you can meet in person. After getting to know your child’s adoptive parents, you can continue to build a strong and healthy relationship with them post-adoption.

In addition, you can still speak with one of our adoption counselors to help you healthfully grieve and move forward. Many birth mothers need some time right to process after the adoption has been finalized, and that’s completely natural. There’s no need for you to feel like you need to rush anything. You maintain control of your adoption journey and the right to do whatever you feel is best for you after leaving the hospital.

Questions to Ask our Adoption Agency

Choosing to place your baby for adoption can feel like a scary and overwhelming decision. But, it’s not one that you need to make alone. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. As a trusted adoption agency in Missouri, we will do everything we can to ensure that you receive the encouragement, comfort, and support that you need and deserve. Ask us about getting started on your adoption journey today! 

Tips Selecting Adoptive Parents Missouri
Birth Mother Blog

4 Tips to Help Birth Mothers Select Adoptive Parents in Missouri

September 21, 2020

4 Tips to Help Birth Mothers Select Adoptive Parents in Missouri

By Sofia Becker

If you’re considering giving a child up for adoption, selecting adoptive parents in Missouri can seem a daunting task. It’s okay to feel terrified or cautious about this part of your journey of adoption in Missouri. Feeling overwhelmed is natural too. After all, you want what’s best for your child because you love them. You want him or her to be placed in a good home with a loving family. However, that doesn’t mean the decision-making process is going to be easy. There is a lot involved, and you may have many questions or concerns about it.

Don’t worry. Your adoption caseworker will be with you every step of the way. Any preferences or requests you have to help you select your child’s adoptive parents, let them know and they will do their best to find the right fit for you and your child. Be mindful that no adoptive family will be “perfect,” but it’s possible to find a couple or individual who will love, cherish and support your child with all their heart.

  1. Be Specific about What You’re Looking for

When selecting your child’s adoptive parents, you may have a lot of things you’re looking for. Create a written list before speaking with your caseworker to effectively narrow down the options most important to you. For instance, if you were raised in a religious home, and you’d like the same for your child, let your caseworker know. Or, if you prefer that he or she weren’t in a religious home, make a note of that too. Be as clear as you can from the beginning. It is important to find an adoptive family who lives the kind of life you want for your child. 

Another thing to specify is whether or not you want your child to grow up around other siblings, or be an only child. This in itself can make a world of difference. If you grew up as an only child and longed for other siblings, then it would be only natural for you to want something different for your child. Similarly, with other aspects of family life. Do you want your child’s adoptive family to have a cat or dog? Do you want them to live in a big city or a small town? There are many areas to consider.

  1. Get to Know the Adoptive Parents

An important piece of finding the best adoptive family is figuring out whether or not you want to have contact with them or your child after the adoption has been finalized. There are three different levels of openness to choose from — open, semi-open, and closed. Each option has its benefits and drawbacks, which are essential to discuss and think about.

Our agency encourages open adoptions because we feel this type of adoption is in the best interest of everyone in the adoption triad. However, we understand that every birth mother has her motivations behind placing her baby for adoption and that she may choose a particular type for a specific reason. If you wish to get to know your child’s adoptive parents, look into the open and semi-open adoption agreements and see which one fits you the best. Getting to know your child’s adoptive parents can help ease your anxiety, give you much-needed comfort and ensure that your adoption journey runs more smoothly overall.

  1. Distance is Something to be Considered

If your child’s adoptive parents live in a different state, and you are thinking about open adoption, discuss how future visits would go and what they would look like. Living within driving distance when getting to know your child and their adoptive parents helps to build a solid relationship. However, this can’t always happen. As the adoptive parents what other options they would be comfortable with — phone, email, text, or through virtual programs such as ZOOM or FaceTime. Talk about how many times a week/month/year you can be in contact.

Having open communication, asking questions, and addressing concerns early on is key to establishing mutual respect and trust with each other. 

  1. It takes Time to Find the Right Adoptive Parents

There is no need to rush through your decision-making process. It takes time to get to know the right adoptive parents to raise your child. Your caseworker will provide you with profile photo books of potential adoptive parents. This will help you narrow down who you’d like to meet later on. If this takes you a little while, that’s ok. There is no pressure. Choosing your child’s adoptive parents isn’t something that can be taken lightly.

When you are ready to meet your potential choice, be sure to write down a list of questions. Talk with your adoption caseworker about what questions would and wouldn’t be best to ask. We want you to feel comfortable, secure, and confident in your choice.

Choosing Who Will Raise Your Child

In the end, it might be hard to find navigate, but Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you find the right way to select your child’s adoptive parents. There is a lot to consider in making decisions and seeing if this is something that you want to do. Thinking about what you want for your child takes time. In the end, though, it will all be worth it. 

What is Adoption Missouri
Adoptive Family Birth Father Birth Mother Blog

What is Adoption? | Get Help for Giving Up a Child for Adoption in Missouri

September 7, 2020

What is Adoption? | Adoption in Missouri

By Sofia Becker

As a birth mother who is looking into adoption in Missouri, you might have a lot of questions. After all, adoption is a huge world to navigate, and giving a child up for adoption is a big decision. If you’re thinking to yourself, “I’m considering adoption for my baby, but I need help with understanding adoption,” we at Adoption Choices of Missouri would love to help you understand the definition and history of adoption.

What is Adoption?

In Webster’s dictionary, to adopt means “to take by choice into a relationship.” Adoption is, by choice, a voluntary action for many adoptive parents. That is the easiest definition that we can go by. For everyone involved in the adoption process, the word itself means different things. Ranging from becoming the happiest family ever to having the best childhood ever, adoption changes everyone’s life in a different way. 

“Adoption” can also mean different things to people. To someone who has had a closed adoption or anything related to that, it might have negative connotations to them depending on their experience. But to the ones who are and have been open about their adoptions, they have learned to embrace their own identity for themselves and not be ashamed; they are able to talk about the immeasurable love that their birth mothers had for them in giving them their best chance at having a beautiful childhood and good life. 

It is also important to understand that “adoptive” means “made or acquired by adoption,” which refers to parents who have adopted a child. One should only use this term during the adoption process to aid with understanding the different terms. After the process is complete, this term should be dropped.

A Brief History of Adoption

Before 1851, adoption wasn’t legal – there were no laws that actually protected adopted children. Folks would adopt in secret to avoid the stigma of illegitimacy. If the child was unwanted or the birth mother was deemed unfit to raise them, children almost always found themselves in an orphanage or with extended family who were willing to take them. The adoptions that did take place usually held the best interests of the child in mind and were taken seriously. 

In 1851, Congress enacted the Adoption of Children Act to make adoptions legal and safe for children. Subsequently, organizations began popping up striving to help adopted children in any way possible. In the 1970s, agencies took over and adoptions reached a peak. Adoption Choices of Missouri was formed in 2006 or thereabouts to help facilitate adoptions better. 

Impact of Adoption 

Adoption impacts you, the birth mother, in different ways. It’s often a hard decision to struggle with and can be traumatic. It’s normal to deal with a lot of emotions all at the same time – especially loss. Some people view adoption as the “easy way out”. You might feel guilt or shame for having given up your child and it might affect your other relationships in a negative way. 

To understand how to deal with the impact that it has on you, it is important for you to find the support that you need to help you through the transition. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you learn to deal with the impact of adoption in a healthy way and connect you with support groups. 

What is Adoption in Missouri?

Coming into the world of adoption can be a whirlwind. Understanding the definition and history of adoption can help with understanding its impact on the adoptive family and the adoptee. Please know that if you have any questions, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you.

 

Questions that Birth Mothers have about Missouri Adoption
Birth Mother Blog

The Top 8 Common Questions Birth Mothers Have about Adoption in Missouri

August 31, 2020

The Top 8 Common Questions Birth Mothers Have about Adoption in Missouri

By Sofia Becker

As an expectant woman facing an unplanned pregnancy in Missouri, you might be facing an uncertain future. Maybe you’re feeling scared or apprehensive about the whole situation. Maybe you’re thinking, “Where do I turn if I’m considering adoption for my baby?” You might have questions about your next steps and wonder whether or not adoption is the right fit or choice for you. 

Don’t worry; all of this is normal. Adoption Choices of Missouri is ready to help you face this uncertain future. We’ve put together a list of some common questions birth mothers have about giving a child up for adoption in Missouri:

  1. Why should I choose adoption?

Having an unplanned pregnancy is scary, and, at this moment, you are probably faced with a lot of different choices to make. If you’re not ready to be a parent, considering adoption for your baby means you want what is best for your child’s life.

Choosing adoption gives you lifelong joy in seeing your child grow up in a loving household. It also lifts any burdens from your shoulders that you might have of your child growing up in a different environment than you did.

  1. Is there anyone who can help me understand my decision and deal with losing my child?

Adoption is never an easy choice in the first place. It can be hard and difficult, but we are here for you and will provide you with counseling and support if needed. You will have an adoption specialist who will be available to you at all times. 

It is important to also surround yourself with a support system outside of Adoption Choices of Missouri. This can include your family, your partner or spouse, or anyone else that you consider to be trustworthy enough to support you during this time. 

  1. Do I have the right to choose the adoptive family?

You definitely have the right to choose the family who will adopt your baby. In fact, it is encouraged or required that prospective adoptive parents create a scrapbook full of information about their lives, which contains pictures and stories. This will give you a glimpse of who they are and what kind of life they could provide for your baby. 

Often, prospective adoptive parents will also include a special section dedicated to the birth mother, explaining why they are a good candidate and sharing additional information about their lives, such as their likes, dislikes, and more. 

  1. How do I know that my child will be raised in a safe environment if I choose adoption?

It is good to be concerned about the well-being of your child even after adoption. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, the prospective adoptive parents go through a series of exhaustive background checks. They are interviewed by social workers and are carefully screened. 

It is always a possibility that prospective adoptive parents can’t have any children, even if they want children. So, adoption is always an opportunity for them to show their child all the love that he or she deserves. Children are always a blessing to someone – your child included.

  1. Will the adoption agency be able to help me with my financial needs? 

Adoption Choices of Missouri will help you find the assistance you need to pay all the medical bills. First, if there are any medical bills that are not provided by your medical insurance or the state funds, the adoptive family will take care of that. Second, we will help you with living expenses. We understand how difficult it is to return to work after giving birth. Third, your caseworker will help you find transportation to your doctor appointments and get your prescriptions. If there is anything else that you need help with (i.e. getting groceries), your caseworker will be more than happy to work with you on that. 

  1. Can I still see my baby even after the adoption is over?

This greatly depends on what kind of adoption plan you chose. For instance, if you choose to do an open adoption, you will have the opportunity to maintain contact with the adoptive family and your child. This could include virtual communication, phone calls, or in-person visits.

Be sure to discuss this with your caseworker and the adoptive parents prior to your baby’s birth, so that you will know what to expect after the adoption has finalized. The adoption process, overall, is a very emotional and complex one; but, it’s better to have a plan in place early on before everything is heightened during the birth and delivery process.

  1. Will my child resent or hate me for choosing adoption?

This is a very valid and common concern birth mothers have when placing their baby for adoption. So, it’s very natural and there’s no shame or guilt in wanting to ask it. Our adoption counselors can offer you a confidential, safe, and non-judgmental environment to process this concern.

Adoptees from decades past often recount struggling with identity issues as a result of details being kept secret from them. However, in recent decades, more former adoptees have opened up about their adoptions. Many have expressed gratefulness to their birth parents for doing the right thing. In addition, our agency encourages open adoption, as it allows your child to learn the right way about you and where they came from, eliminating the questions and struggles as they develop.

  1. What if my friends and family don’t understand why I’m giving up my baby for adoption?

If your friends or family lack understanding, you could give them a brief explanation of your reasons. That you feel this is the best decision for both of you. Unfortunately, there’s a social stigma surrounding adoption and birth mothers “giving up” their babies. People seem threatened by what they don’t understand. But, thanks to changes the adoption industry has made, it’s become more common and less stigmatized. 

Your child’s adoption can also serve as an opportunity for your friends and family to learn about how adoption works. Your caseworker can talk with your family and friends and help them understand what is going on. 

Navigating the Common Questions that Birth Mothers Have about Adoption

As a birth mother, the future can seem uncertain and terrifying, but Adoption Choices in Missouri is here to help you answer any questions that you might have. Whether it has to do with financial assistance or other concerns, please feel free to come to us for help. We understand how hard it is to feel alone during this time. Let us help you navigate these troubled waters.  

Birth Father Blog

What Birth Mothers Should Know about the Adoption Process during COVID 19

August 24, 2020

What Birth Mothers Should Know about the Adoption Process during COVID 19

There is a lot that has changed for the adoption process during COVID 19. If you are feeling nervous and overwhelmed about all the new policies and new changes, that is totally normal. 

You are not alone – we at Adoption Choices of Missouri are learning to adapt to the changes and want to help you understand better what you should know. 

What Birth Mothers Should Know 

  1. We are Still Open and Fully Functional

Birth mothers should know that our doors at Adoption Choices of Missouri are still open and that we are still fully operational. While our physical offices may be closed currently, we have moved to virtual communication to respect the social distancing rules. 

Emails are checked on a regular basis and have a prompt response time. The same goes for texts and phone calls. We care about you and want to make you as comfortable as possible in any way, which means that your health and the health of our employees is of high importance. 

  1. Hospitals have Extra Safety Precautions

There have been changes to the hospital process as well. It is always best to call ahead of time just to make sure that it’s okay to come. At Ozark Medical Center, for instance, every patient is allowed one visitor per day. If they feel sick or have COVID symptoms, they can’t visit at all. At Citizens Memorial in Bolivar, everyone is required to wear a mask, respect the social distancing guidelines and will be screened for their temperatures. Washing hands with soap and water is also mandatory. There are strict visiting hours and birthmothers are allowed to have one labor partner and another visitor for the duration of the stay.

Your caseworker will help you stay updated on any and all extra precautions your hospital of choice may have in place. Your health and safety, and that of your baby’s, is our top priority as well as the hospital’s. Despite the global pandemic, it is still safe to place your baby for adoption and to deliver him or her in the hospital. It is important to be flexible with your birth plan, though, as COVID-19 policies are ever changing right now. If you contract COVID 19 while you are pregnant, don’t worry. You can still have your baby at the hospital. The staff have procedures in place for a situation like this as well. 

  1. How to Protect Your Baby from COVID-19

If you are worried about how to protect your newborn from COVID 19, it is important to know that the hospitals have limited the number of visitors and support people who are allowed in the room. Depending on hospital policy, your baby will be delivered to the adoptive parents outside of the hospital and will be kept separate from the birth and delivery process. However, you will still be able to communicate with them. As different as this may seem, this is all to protect you, your baby and your baby’s adoptive family. But rest assured — your baby will be safely given to their new adoptive family and your adoption journey will be successful.

  1. You can Still Choose Your Child’s Adoptive Family

You are still able to choose your child’s adoptive family during this time. However, with regards to social distancing, all these procedures will take place virtually. The caseworker will email you photos and photo books of prospective adoptive parents for you to look at. Once you select who you want to meet and move forward with, any and all discussions will take place remotely using applications such as Skype, FaceTime or ZOOM.

We understand that this isn’t the same as meeting face to face, but the magic of this age of technology is that you still have the opportunity to develop strong and healthy relationships with your child’s adoptive family. That you can still those grow and build until we are, once again, permitted to safely meet in person

The Adoption Process during COVID-19

Adoption Choices of Missouri is still open during COVID 19, despite there being difficult changes to adjust to. Please rest assured that we are doing everything possible to take the necessary extra precautions for your health and safety. We are ready to help you in any way possible and help you be educated in the new policies. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Office and Disney movies.

Through her blogs, and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.

Post Placement Services Birth Mothers Missouri
Birth Mother Blog

Post-Placement Services for Birth Mothers After Adoption in Missouri

August 17, 2020

Post-Placement Services for Birth Mothers After Adoption in Missouri

By Sofia Becker

Adoption is a beautiful concept inside and out. Any birth mother who has wrestled with the thought of considering adoption for my baby is faced with one of the most difficult decisions she’ll ever make. Giving a child up for adoption is a sacrifice that can yield provision and a wonderful life for that child. However, there are always emotions to deal with after the adoption… maybe you made the wrong decision and have lost your child. Fortunately, when it comes to adoption in Missouri, there are several post-placement services and resources for birth mothers.

What Birth Mothers Should Expect Post Placement

If you are a birth mother who is struggling in post-placement, you’re possibly trying very hard to navigate through the aftermath. It is natural for a birth mother to feel a mix of the physical and emotional factors from post-placement. Here’s a list of symptoms that you might be dealing with: 

  • Guilt: it’s okay for a birth mother to feel guilty for placing her baby up for adoption, due to the negative connotations today that our society has conjured up. Feelings of shame and/or rejection are stirred, even if it was the best thing she could do for her child. It can be a difficult road to recovery, even if it was the right thing to do, and can take years. 
  • Harsh self-criticism: some people will criticize you for wanting to give up the baby, but you need to remember that this was and always will be your decision – not theirs. The judgments and discouragements that you get lead to self-doubt and regretting the decision to put the baby up for adoption. But you have to look past all this, remind yourself that you made the right decision, and move on.
  • Postpartum Depression (PPD): PPD is a mix of behavioral, physical, and emotional changes that you as a birth mother will experience after giving birth and it can occur anytime within four weeks of the birth delivery. Symptoms include hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, eating problems, and the inadequacy of feeling needed. 

Post Placement Support Resources

You will likely be scrutinized for quite some time on your decision. Take the time you need to process your emotions and realize the positive aspects of your decisions. It is critical to find the support and resources that you need to get through the emotional aftermath of post-placement.

When it comes to supporting resources, there are a few different options to consider. Online support resources are one way to go. The internet is a goldmine bringing people from all different walks of life together. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you even after you’ve given birth and the adoption has been finalized. We can provide counseling and support! 

Support from Adoption Choices

Adoption Choices of Missouri can also help you find the resources that are best suited for you. Our caring professionals will give respectful, accurate, and judgment-free answers. We can provide you with the information you need to know your options. 

The support you need is here to help you to decide what you want to do about your pregnancy. However, we encourage you to take the time you need to make a decision about adoption. When you’re ready — we will be there for you. 

 

Blog

Choosing Adoption as a Birth Mother in College

August 10, 2020

Choosing Adoption as a Birth Mother in College

You’ve just started college. You’re also on your own for the first time, and decide to see what college life and being independent is all about. Some of your college friends or roommates invite you out to a party, which you happily agree to. A few weeks later, you realize you’re late on your monthly cycle. Then, you start waking up feeling like you caught the flu. You take a pregnancy test and stare into one of your worst fears — you’re pregnant. What are you going to do?  

Deciding how to handle a pregnancy, especially an unplanned one, is scary. It feels like the world has turned upside down. As if you’re the only one in the world and no one will understand what you are going through

But we have good news. You are not alone! You have options available and a support system ready to surround you the moment you ask. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you in any we can. Here is how you can go about choosing adoption as a birth mother in college.

Deciding How to Handle Your Unplanned Pregnancy

The first decision that you have to make about your unplanned pregnancy is deciding what you’d like to do about your unplanned pregnancy. There are three options available: parent your child, terminate your pregnancy or place your child up for adoption. 

1) Parent Your Child

If you decide to parent the child, then you have to figure out how you’re going to raise the child. This includes doing research on what kind of parenting classes you would need to take. These classes are found on the internet, and are important educational and informational resources for you on parenthood. Make sure to thoroughly research each class option, though, so you don’t get caught up in a scam.

2) Terminate Your Pregnancy

If you don’t feel ready to parent your child, your second option is to terminate your pregnancy. With this, remember that laws vary by state on what is considered legal and illegal. For instance, in the state of Missouri, termination is prohibited after 8 weeks. Before termination can occur, you must receive state-directed counseling and then wait 72 hours before you are eligible for the procedure. Insurance, both private and public, will only cover the procedure if there’s evidence that the birth mother’s life is in danger.

3) Place Your Baby for Adoption

Your third option is to place the baby up for adoption.This allows you to give your child their best chance at life. To choose an adoptive family to raise him or her, and to ensure their safety and security. Also, to choose the level of openness you want. There are three options to choose from: open, semi-open and closed. 

We understand that picking an adoption agency can be tricky. So, be sure to take all the time you need to research the adoption agencies in your area and see who aligns the best with what you are looking for. Each and every agency will vary slightly. At our agency, you will be treated with the utmost respect and lots of compassion. Our well-trained staff of professionals offer the most nonjudgmental, empowering and positive adoption experience possible. We will walk with you every step of the way and make sure that both you and your baby are well looked after.

Choosing Adoption as a Birth Mother in College

Discovering that you are pregnant in college can be overwhelming. What’s more, deciding what to do on top of a school load isn’t easy either. But don’t worry. It isn’t the end of the world, and you are not alone. Adoption is an option no matter how late you are in your pregnancy. However, the earlier you contact our agency, the sooner we can help you begin your adoption journey.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, placing your baby for adoption comes at no cost to you. If you are in need of financial assistance, prenatal care or temporary housing, your adoption caseworker will help you through that and see what you are eligible for.

Always remember that adoption is an option for you, no matter what. Adoption Choices of Missouri has three different levels of openness for your adoption plan — open, semi-open and closed. It’s a big step into this wide and vast world of adoption and adoption agencies, and can be scary, but remember that we are here for you no matter what. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Office and Disney movies.

Through her blogs, and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.