Birth Mother Blog

I Gave My Baby Up for Adoption, Now What?

I Gave My Baby Up for Adoption, Now What?

By Nicole Hatton

Perhaps you’ve just made the decision to place your child up for adoption and created an adoption plan. Maybe you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about the adoption process. Whatever the case, giving a child up for adoption is a major decision. As a birth parent, you may be wondering what you should do next or how to cope with your feelings. Post-adoption can be difficult for any birth parent. Whether you are young, single, or have a complicated relationship with the other parent, it’s valid to experience various emotions. If you’re considering adoption for your baby or want to learn more about the aftermath, here we will cover. . .

  1. Acknowledging Your Emotions After Choosing Adoption
  2. Coping With Your Adoption Journey and Letting Go of Your Baby
  3. Maintaining a Healthy Relationship With The Adoptive Family (If Open Adoption or Semi-Open Adoption Was Chosen)
  4. Personal Goals and Focusing on Yourself After the Adoption Process

Acknowledging Your Emotions After Choosing Adoption

It’s normal to feel a sense of grief, loss, confusion, regret, and more. Whatever emotions arise, don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. It can be painful to bear with the thought of letting your baby go, and these feelings may stick with you. In order to find peace with your decision, it’s essential to come to terms with any and all emotions. If you do not accept or recognize your true emotions during the adoption process, you may struggle with larger problems in the future.

Give yourself the necessary time to reflect on your choice and consider if you want to reach out for more support. While addressing these feelings, remember that you made this decision out of love and the best interest of your child. Don’t let judgments or misconceptions from others who haven’t personally experienced adoption bring you down. Acknowledging your emotions earlier on would be beneficial to processing and healing.

Coping With Your Adoption Journey and Letting Go of Your Baby

There are a few things that you can do to look after your well-being and process things after adoption. Many adoption agencies, such as Adoption Choices of Missouri, have resources to support you. Adoption in Missouri can provide you with an adoption counselor who will work with you through the adoption process and discuss finances. They can also help you with understanding this decision and dealing with the loss of your child. This service is free and unlimited. However, not all American adoptions are the same, so be sure to double-check with the state you live in.

In addition to counseling, adoption agencies in Missouri will help you find birth mother support groups. You are never alone, and you can connect with other birth mothers to provide each other with support and encouragement. Each group will be different, but you can meet weekly or monthly, depending on what you all agree on. It can be comforting to find others who can relate to you and have that community who may share similar feelings. You can also share stories and talk more about your personal experiences to provide guidance and comfort. 

Another coping mechanism that you can use is journaling. Taking the time to reflect on everything can help you become more self-aware of your emotions and needs. There is no wrong way to go about journaling. Whatever makes you feel the best is the way that you should continue. Whether that is brain dumping, listing out things, doing a letter format, or something else, write whatever comes to mind. Journaling can help you gain clarity and de-stress by getting everything out on paper (unless you prefer a digital method).

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship With The Adoptive Family

If you choose to have an open or semi-open adoption, you can still stay connected with your child and the adoptive family. Having an ongoing relationship can provide you with reassurance and fulfillment for your child’s well-being. Having a healthy relationship with the adoptive family can help you develop a sense of trust as well. You can also ask questions as your child develops and grows older. If you would like to personally visit or talk with your adopted child, you can do so if you would like. If you feel more comfortable just talking to the parents and exchanging pictures, that is a nice option too. Whatever you decide will be up to you, but  Adoption Choices of Missouri will still be here for guidance and support.

Focusing on Yourself After the Adoption Process

After giving your child up for adoption, you may have more free time to focus on yourself. You can set personal goals, which could include studying for a degree, career exploration, or other hobbies and aspirations. You may have other responsibilities to take care of as well. Whatever your future endeavors may be, don’t forget that Adoption Choices of Missouri will still be there for you. No matter how long ago you went through with adoption, you won’t be alone.

Navigating and Adjusting to the Post-Adoption Process

Adoption is a decision that can be a lot to deal with and think about before, during, and after the process. Remember that you are not selfish for this decision or need the time to process everything. Feel free to take the necessary steps outlined in this article to help acknowledge and cope with your emotions. If you wish to stay involved with your child’s life, do so at a level that you feel comfortable with. It could also be a good idea to focus on other activities that you enjoy in your personal life or other goals.

Even if quite some time has passed after your adoption process, resources will still be available to you from adoption agencies in Missouri. Whatever you decide to do that feels best, know that you’re supported by Adoption Choices of Missouri and/or your own personal network.

Birth Mother Blog

Understanding Why Birth Mothers Choose Adoption

Understanding Why Birth Mothers Choose Adoption

By Nicole Hatton

Giving a child up for adoption is an important decision for both the birth mother and child. There are numerous factors to think about such as choosing an adoption plan, considering different adoption options, and more. These factors can make the decision to choose adoption difficult, but every birth mother embarks on their own adoption journey. You may have similar or different reasons for considering adoption for your baby than someone else. Regardless of your background or motivations, it’s crucial to remember that choosing adoption is a selfless and caring decision.

Reasons why birth mothers place their babies up for adoption.

Financial Support and Stability For Your Child

You may not feel prepared financially to provide for your child’s needs. This can be due to a variety of circumstances, such as being single, your living situation, or the type of job you have. You may also fear that you won’t be able to give your child enough attention due to your work schedule. Combining this with the financial stress of paying for their food, school, toys, and other necessities can be very overwhelming. Placing your baby up for adoption can open up greater access to resources and opportunities that you may struggle to pay for. It may be in the best interest of your child. It’s also important to note that choosing adoption is an option that’s free for birth mothers.

If you feel unprepared to give your child a stable environment, adoption agencies such as Adoption Choices of Missouri can help with that. When choosing adoption in Missouri, you may be able to receive financial support during your pregnancy. American adoptions can vary depending on which state you live in, but in Kansas and Missouri, you can work with an adoption counselor on this. Your adoption counselor can discuss paying for rent, transportation, groceries, and more after understanding your situation and stage of pregnancy. They will work with you throughout the adoption process.

Unplanned Pregnancy

If you experience an unplanned pregnancy, then adoption could be your best option, considering your current circumstances. You can also do a last-minute hospital adoption if you’re in labor or your baby is already born. Adoption agencies in Missouri will support you if you want to do a drop-in adoption. It’s not too late to choose adoption after an unplanned pregnancy. Any birth mother can experience an unexpected pregnancy no matter the age or background. Although there are teenagers who go through this, that does not mean that most or all birth mothers are teenagers. Even if you are pregnant at a young age, birth mothers undergo unplanned pregnancies under situations unique to them. 

Relationship Status With the Birth Father

At the time of delivering birth, you may not be in a stable or supportive relationship with the birth father. There may be relationship challenges that you do not want to inflict upon your child. However, birth mothers can be single, dating, married, divorced, or be in other situations. For others, they may choose adoption after falling victim to sexual assault. Additionally, it can be difficult to care for your baby by yourself or rely solely on your friends and family. You can experience a lack of income source and stress from not having another person to look after the baby. When considering your future family plans, you also may prefer to raise your child in a two-parent household which could be easier.

Personal or Educational Aspirations After the Adoption Process

You may not be as available as you would like to be for your child due to personal, educational, or career-related goals. Perhaps you want to travel or predict that you won’t be home too often. Maybe you are tied up with studying and have a full schedule. You may feel that parenting could limit your opportunities to pursue these endeavors. Additionally, it could be bad timing after receiving news that you are pregnant. Sometimes, circumstances and plans change, which could influence birth mothers to have second thoughts.

What are Your Adoption Options

If you’re pregnant and do not wish to parent, you might opt for adoption over having an abortion. There are three different adoption options that you can choose which are: open, semi-open, or closed adoption. For some birth mothers, cultural or religious factors may play a role in this decision. It can also be difficult emotionally to terminate the baby after developing a relationship with them during pregnancy. Birth mothers may choose to avoid terminating the pregnancy to avoid emotional distress. 

Fulfilling Someone Else’s Dream Of Becoming A Parent

When you give your baby up for adoption, you are giving another family a wonderful gift. Some families cannot have children of their own. Additionally, some women may have concerns about their ability to deliver a baby again in the future. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, you can check out what waiting families are ready to adopt as well. 

Fostering Respect and Understanding For Birth Mothers

Now that you have better knowledge on why birth mothers choose adoption, it’s also important to shed light on their emotional journeys. Although every birth mother is on their own unique journey, it’s normal to have feelings of grief and loss. Making the decision to place your baby up for adoption takes courage and resilience. It can be difficult battling between the thought of being a parent or deciding not to take care of your child. Relinquishing your role as the primary caregiver and adjusting to life without the baby you nurtured can be a lot to process. It’s a decision that shows how loving and caring you are. Take the time you need to process your emotions, and don’t hesitate to reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri

Know that you are never alone. Even if you do not have a strong support network in your personal life, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you every step of the way. Whether you need guidance before, during, and/or after, you will have the assistance you need.