Healthy Foods to Eat with Unplanned Pregnancy

August 14, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Healthy Foods to Eat with Unplanned Pregnancy

Whether you are just finding out you are pregnant or have been going through an unplanned pregnancy for some time, eating healthy foods is essential for the development and growth of your baby. What you used to eat or drink before pregnancy may not be healthy now that you are pregnant and changes to your diet may have to happen. As your body goes through many changes during pregnancy, consuming healthy foods is important so that your body and baby can be supported during such changes. The emphasis on this is also because everything you eat or drink, your baby will also eat and drink.

This week Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing healthy foods to eat with an unplanned pregnancy. Don’t worry if you are unsure because we are here to help you in every way possible. We can provide assistance and information for your unplanned pregnancy to make it as least stressful as possible! Choosing adoption is a loving decision and so is taking care of yourself and the baby!!

What to Eat on a Daily Basis

Media often portrays being pregnant as an excuse to eat whatever you want; but, in reality, that is not the case for having a healthy pregnancy. Eating proportioned healthy foods each day is best even if you are not feeling very hungry. You will have cravings for specific foods and maybe even foods you didn’t eat before your pregnancy, which is normal. It is also completely valid to feel overwhelmed by all the foods you can and should eat versus those that you should not consume. We’re here to help you determine and make the right choices for your diet during pregnancy.

First, you should aim to eat three substantial meals each day that include the main food groups such as fruits, vegetables, protein, dairy and grains. Try to consume fewer foods with high fat and sugar content as they contain less nutritious value. Remember that you should also indulge in cravings as long as they are in moderation.

Protein:

Foods that have high content in protein are very important, and protein is not only found in meat, poultry or fish. You can also satisfy your daily protein servings with eggs, lentils, chickpeas, cottage cheese and seeds.

Vegetables:

Vegetables also contain important nutrients including iron, fiber, vitamin A and potassium. Think of leafy greens like spinach, broccoli and kale when you eat your next meal as they provide healthy digestion.

Fruits:

Additionally, fruits are a good substitute for eating something sweet that also provides nutrition to you and your baby. Eating berries provide antioxidants, vitamin C and fiber, which promotes a strong immune system. Other fruits that can support your diet include, apricots, bananas, mangoes, pears and oranges, all of which are full of essential vitamins and minerals.

Dairy:

Dairy is important for you to gain calcium which helps the development of your baby’s bones, teeth, muscles and nerves. Some sources of calcium that are good to consume include milk, yogurt and cheese.

Grains:

Grains contain good carbohydrates that your body needs during pregnancy. Eating whole grains like bread and cereal can provide you with iron, fiber and folic acid.

Keep in mind that Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you financially with food and groceries. We will set a budget with you and ensure you have access to healthy food!

Take Prenatal Vitamins

As you start on a vitamin-rich diet during your unplanned pregnancy, you also need to take prenatal vitamins as soon as possible. Taking your regular daily multivitamin is not the same as prenatal vitamins. Prenatal vitamins provide more direct nutrients that aid in the development and growth of your baby. Once you determine you are pregnant, go to your doctor and he or she will guide you through which ones to take and the right dosage. When you go to buy your prenatal vitamins at the pharmacy, look for these four essential nutrients that are beneficial to pregnancy: folic acid, iron, calcium and vitamin D. Folic acid is important for the early development of your baby, specifically to help prevent birth defects of your baby’s brain and spine. Iron helps to provide healthy blood flow for you and your baby as well as oxygen flow. Calcium helps your baby’s bones, teeth, muscles, and nerves develop strong. Vitamin D supports a healthy immune system and further bone development of your baby. Again, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you with vitamins and getting medical support!

Don’t Forget Water

As part of healthy foods to eat with unplanned pregnancy, there is also the importance of drinking enough water each day. During pregnancy, you will need to drink plenty of water, around 8-12 glasses daily. This will help your digestion and make sure the nutrients get to your baby. Water can also help your skin stay hydrated, boost your energy, reduce the chance of a urinary tract infection, and the risk of a premature birth. Always have water nearby to avoid dehydration which can cause headaches. If you find it difficult to drink a sufficient amount of water each day, try adding fresh fruits to your water like lemons or limes.

Health Foods to Eat during Pregnancy

These are some of the healthy foods to eat during an unplanned pregnancy and those to avoid. Remember that eating healthy is part of taking care of yourself and your baby. If you have questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact Adoption Choices of Missouri and we will be glad to get you assistance.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

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How to have a Healthy Pregnancy before Adoption

August 7, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri

How to have a Healthy Pregnancy before Adoption

Whether you are going through an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy and are thinking about adoption for your child, having a healthy pregnancy is important. You may be going through several emotions finding out you are pregnant and making the decision of adoption. Pregnancy and adoption cannot be understated because they are life-changing moments and choices. It is valid to feel overwhelmed, stressed or anxious when coming to terms with being pregnant and the steps you decide to take for your future. Through it all, it is essential that you maintain your physical, mental and emotional health for you and your baby. This week Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing how to have a healthy pregnancy before adoption.

Remember that you do not have to make every decision alone, and that we can walk you through all of your options, so you can do what is best for you. Whether you decide to choose adoption for your baby or not, we can be there for you. Let’s discuss some ways to have a healthy pregnancy before adoption.

Establish an Adoption Plan

As your mind is connected to your body, thinking about adoption often while your pregnant can bring on added stress and anxiety to an already overwhelming situation. Establishing an adoption plan can be a good way to relieve additional stress and let you focus on the wellbeing of you and your baby. Planning for the next steps after the birth of your baby, will help to prepare you for the start of your adoption journey.

If you are pregnant and looking to make an adoption plan, you can contact us and we can discuss the specifics of your decision such as the type of adoption agreement you want for your child and more. Having questions or concerns about making an adoption plan is normal, and we are here to help answer all of them to the best of our ability.

Stay on Track with Prenatal Care

An important part of having a healthy pregnancy before adoption is being mindful of prenatal care. When pregnant, taking care of yourself physically is essential for the baby’s development throughout every trimester up until birth. An expectant mother should not consume alcohol or any drugs, because they pose serious health risks for both the baby and mother, such as birth defects or miscarriage. There are also a few foods you should not eat while pregnant like raw fish and caffeine, among others.

Having consistent and balanced meals to provide significant nutrition for yourself and your baby is necessary and beneficial. In addition to eating healthy, it is important to take prenatal vitamins, especially during your first trimester when critical growth happens for your baby. When you buy prenatal vitamins at your pharmacy, look for ones with folic acid, iron, calcium and vitamin D.

Keep Active

During your pregnancy, staying active can help relieve and be an outlet for stress. Depending on if you were active before your pregnancy, you may be able to continue with your workout routine, but check with your healthcare provider to be sure. Exercising regularly while pregnant does not have to be a rigorous workout that includes heavy weight-lifting. Physical activities such as walking, jogging, yoga and pilates are good to practice during your pregnancy. Keeping active can help prepare your body for labor as it changes during pregnancy, prevent health complications of your baby, and helps to manage back pain that develops in the mother when pregnant.

Always be hydrated before, during and after exercise and eat enough food for you and your baby for the calories you may burn. Try not to push yourself too hard with exercise while pregnant and ask your doctor what they think of certain physical activities, even if you think that they are okay to practice.

Go to Doctor Appointments

Seeing your doctor during pregnancy is important because they are there to make sure you and your baby are healthy. It is important that you feel comfortable with your doctor to ask any questions or share any concerns, as they can offer answers and provide resources. Your doctor wants what is best for you and your baby, including if you have made the decision for adoption after birth. If going to the doctor during your pregnancy is anxiety provoking, maybe try to go with someone who can support you.

During your first visit with your doctor while pregnant, they will ask about your individual and family health history, perform tests and ask additional questions.

Talk about How You are Feeling

As you go through many physical changes while pregnant, you may also go through emotional changes. Changes may feel like they are happening fast and you should talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. Keeping your emotions bottled up can cause further stress and negative emotions to be present.

During pregnancy, remember you are not alone. Reach out and share your emotions, whether they are good or bad, and talk about them. See what you can do to practice self-care whether it be journaling, cooking, listening to music or finding affirmations to say to yourself, among other activities. Being healthy emotionally and mentally is essential while pregnant and while not pregnant.

These are some ways that can help you to have a health pregnancy before adoption. As you prepare to bring a new life into the world and start your adoption journey, remember to care for yourself and that Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you every step of the way.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

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Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption

July 31, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption

Typically when we think of adoption, we think of the birth mother and her role. There is less discussion about birth fathers, their position in the adoption process and why they choose adoption for their child. This raises the stereotype that birth fathers are not present or known during the adoption journey. Such a generalization about birth fathers does not account for all birth fathers, including those who are present for adoption.

It is important to acknowledge that present birth fathers do have an important role in the adoption journey, just as much as birth mothers. This week, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing reasons birth fathers choose adoption.

An Unplanned Pregnancy

When a birth mother faces an unplanned pregnancy, the emotional and financial preparedness to raise a child are usually unplanned for as well. A birth father may still be finishing up earning a degree and securing a job as he establishes himself. Bringing a child into the world without necessary preparation can not only hinder a birth parent’s incomplete goals, but also prevent a birth parent from being 110% there for a child both emotionally, mentally and financially. Further, an unplanned pregnancy can show a birth father that he may not be ready or does not wish to be a parent at this time which is okay.

Adoption is a great option to give your child the best possible life, and a selfless choice for an adoptive family to provide a strong, resourceful support system for him or her.

Separated or Divorced from Birth Mother

Another reason why birth fathers choose adoption may be because they are no longer in a relationship or marriage with the birth mother. Co-parenting can be a challenge if a birth father and birth mother are not on the same page when it comes to raising a child. If a birth father no longer has contact with the birth mother of their child, it can be difficult for him to be a part of his child’s life.

However, through adoption, a birth father can still have contact with his child and adoptive family, depending on the adoption agreement. Open adoption can be a great option for a birth father who is present even if he is no longer with the birth mother, because he still can have the opportunity to communicate with his child as he or she grows up.

Without a Support System

Raising a child without the support of family members, friends and neighbors can be overwhelming. From childcare to education, raising a child is not a small feat. It takes a great amount of time, effort, care and most importantly love. Without having a support system to step in with childcare, whether it be helping to take your child to a doctor or pick him or her up from school, it can be a challenge for a birth parent to completely be mentally and emotionally present for his child. Without a support network a birth father may not be able to take care of his mental health which is essential for being a committed parent. Choosing adoption can ease the worry of lacking support for a birth father who knows that an adoptive family will be able to provide such support to his child.

Being Proactive and Responsible

A birth father may choose adoption because he is thinking about the future of his child and wants to be optimistic about the situation. Choosing adoption can be a birth father’s way of being proactive and responsible as he understands his decision allows adoptive parents to create a family. A birth father’s choice of adoption for his child is a difficult and emotional one to make, but it can also demonstrate that he wants this for his child and made sure that he actively took the steps needed for adoption to happen. Taking responsibility for his child’s future to be happy, healthy and successful, further shows that a birth father is assured of his decision for adoption.

Loving Your Child

A fundamental reason to choose adoption is because you love your child. The unconditional love you have for your child allows you to acknowledge and realize that you want the best for him or her. Choosing adoption is driven by your desire to seek advantages for your child and putting him or her first as you assess your life and make a life-changing decision. The choice of adoption is selfless and takes a lot of strength to make and go through with. It shows how much you love and care for your child as you want the best for him or her.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of reasons birth fathers choose adoption. Whatever the reasons may be, they do not undermine adoption but uplift adoption as a great choice and opportunity for a child. Adoption Choices of Missouri sees and supports birth fathers along every part of their adoption journey. Know that if you are a birth father thinking about adoption, you do not have to be alone in the process. Please reach out to us and we’ll be more than happy to assist in every way possible.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

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Adoption Choices Appreciates Melissa Benedek

July 30, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

National Intern Day

Today is National Intern Day!! And Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri is sending a special THANK YOU to our writing interns. National Intern Day was created to recognize all the college students and graduates testing the professional waters across the country as interns. Internships offer future business leaders the experience they need to succeed in their related field.

Interns with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri research, write, and share valuable information, tips, advice, news, stories, and more for our adoption network! Given several adoption topics to choose from, they spend hours collecting the most up to date, essential information and build an article. It’s more than just an article though, it’s a tool for birth mothers and adoptive families to be able to find Adoption Choices on the web, share resources, connect within the adoption community, and help understand the adoption process. We are sending Melissa Benedek a great big THANK YOU – today and everyday for all the hard work you share with us!

Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

As we look ahead to a brighter future for our world and our companies, we know that this new generation of students and graduates will help get us there. If you or someone you know is interested in writing for Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, we are regularly accepting interns. Our interns research and share 1-3 articles a week to be published across our adoption network. Internships with Adoption Choices offer future business leaders the experience they need and provide hands-on editorial experience.

Once again, thank you Melissa!!

Birth Mother

The Benefits of Transracial Adoption

July 15, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

The Benefits of Transracial Adoption

As you begin to seriously consider adoption and start on your adoption journey, you may be thinking about transracial adoption. Committing to a life-changing decision, like adoption, requires self-reflection and open-mindedness. This goes for both the birth and adoptive parents. Transracial adoption can be a positive experience for the adoptee, especially when the adoptive family respects the adoptee’s cultural identity and promotes positive acceptance. This helps the adoptee have greater self-esteem and prevents isolation within the adoptive family.

Through many successful transracial adoption stories, you may be wondering what the advantages are and how they can be achieved. This week, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing the benefits of transracial adoption and how adoptive families can practice them.

Acknowledgement and Acceptance

Before adopting a child of another race, prospective parents should do some deliberate introspection. To realize it is necessary and healthy to acknowledge, respect and celebrate a child’s race that is different from their own. Adoptive parents cannot begin to embrace diversity within their home and their lives until they have done so. Further, adoptive parents need to be open to cultural understanding as they accept their adoptive child’s racial and cultural identities. An adoptive family projecting their own biases onto their transracial adoptee will create division, isolation and reinforce stereotypes. Adoptive parents who acknowledge and accept the racial and cultural identities of their transracial adoptee can cultivate racial awareness within their home and their community.

Acknowledgement and acceptance breed positivity. Only then will a transracial adoptee know that he or she belongs and are welcomed within their adoptive family. Adoptive parents can establish positive and open communication with their child where they can talk together, listen and value each other. When an adoptee can openly communicate with their adoptive parents without feeling afraid, he or she knows that they are in a safe space.

Embracing Diversity

Another one of the benefits of transracial adoption is that both adoptive parents and the adoptee can grow together in their home and community. Adoptive parents can embrace diversity within the home through providing cultural outlets of learning that spark communication and understanding through art, books, music, TV shows and movies. Living in a community that is racially and culturally diverse is essential, as it provides the opportunity to interact with people with different cultural backgrounds and prevents the development of intolerance. It is also beneficial when finding positive role models, schools and extracurricular activities for your child.

Further, embracing diversity means creating a relationship between your child and his or her culture. Adoptive parents must make an effort to surround themselves and their child with experiences that teach about their child’s heritage. Prioritizing your child’s culture is critical for adoptive parents, so that their child sees and knows his or her culture and is not subjected to assimilating into a culture and identity that does not represent him or her.

Breaking Stereotypes

Criticism surrounding transracial adoption stems from inherent biases that are left unchecked, becoming the standard for what a family should be and should look like. However, being a transracial adoptive parent shows that families are not and do not have to be conventional. Stereotypes try to doubt the validity of transracial adoption, but transracial adoption shows that such perspectives are not true. Transracial adoption has the potential to educate people who may not even realize that stigmas exist. By breaking stereotypes, your transracial adoptee will see that his or her adoptive family does not stand for intolerance or bigotry, and will work to end divisive narratives.

Creating a Family

The best part of transracial adoption is creating a family. To be able to provide a child with the opportunity to grow and be successful in a loving environment is truly a blessing. Having a child in your family is invaluable as is your adoption journey. Family is more than biology, it is unity. A family that is created with acceptance at its core ensures that a child is welcomed and will always be. Transracial adoption has the power to do just that in a family that puts respect, love and care first.

Putting your child before yourself is at the center of successful adoption and attaining the benefits. Making that choice can shape the future of your child and your relationship with him or her. Support your child always. Respect his or her cultural identity always. Remember that you can learn a lot from your child as you first become a parent and all throughout the lifelong adoption journey. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you through your transracial adoption process and provide helpful information every step of the way.

Sources:

Godon, Danielle E., and Patricia G. Ramsey. “Positive and Negative Aspects of

Transracial Adoption: An Exploratory Study from Korean Transracial

Adoptees’ Perspectives.” Mount Holyoke College. Accessed July 5, 2020.

https://scholarworks.umass.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1104&context=rudd_conf .

Harness, Susan Devan. “Adopting a child of a different race? Let’s talk.”

Address presented at TedxMileHigh. YouTube. Last modified July 25, 2019.

Accessed July 5, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORk3TGSCl4 .

Krueger, Angela. “Pros and Cons of Transracial Adoption.” Full Circle Adoptions.

Last modified May 10, 2009. Accessed July 5, 2020.

http://fullcircleadoptions.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Pros-and-Cons-of-Transracial-Adoption.pdf

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Transracial Adoption Success Story

July 8, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Transracial Adoption Success Story

When a birth mother hears about transracial adoption, there may be feelings of worry surrounding how her child will remember and learn about his or her birth family and community. This valid concern is not always met with an easy answer or solution. Many transracial adoptees may not grow up to know about their birth families and cultures, which can lead to poor self- esteem and feelings of isolation within their adoptive families.

Yet, there are just as many transracial adoptees who have had positive experiences with their adoptive families, who have prioritized the adoptee’s cultural identity. This week Adoption Choices of Missouriwill be discussing a transracial adoption success storyand what has made it successful. Today, we will be hearing Elisa’s story that highlights important points that have contributed to her success as a transracial adoptee.

Having a Relationship with the Birth Mother and Birth Community

Elisa was adopted at the age of three by her adoptive parents, David and Joan, and was raised in Vermont. Elisa was not talkative at first, as she took in her new surroundings, home and family. Even before Elisa began to talk, her adoptive parents showed her photos of her birth mother, explaining to Elisa who her birth mother is and how she is doing. David and Joan decided to have and maintain communication with Elisa’s birth mother as they established their adoption agreement and started their adoption journey together. Through the exchange of letters and photos, David and Joan were able to talk and share news about Elisa with her birth mother, and vise versa, as Elisa grew up.

By having her adoptive parents welcome any questions, Elisa did not have to wonder who her birth mother was, what she was like, or about her birth culture. Elisa’s birth mother had an active role and presence in her life and her adoptive parents’ lives. Through this, Elisa learned the significance of her birth culture and developed a strong and healthy sense of identity as she grew up. She didn’t have to struggle with feelings of loss and guilt, or put up emotional barriers, because she had the answers readily available to her..

Adoptive Parents Supporting their Transracial Adoptee’s Cultural Identity

Beyond David and Joan establishing and maintaining communication with her birth mother, they welcomed Elisa’s identity and culture. They did not forget, erase or remove her identity and culture. To protect and nurture Elisa, they put their interests and concerns aside. They cultivated an environment that protected her against bigotry and promoted belonging. They acknowledged that race and culture matter.

Being connected to one’s culture and heritage is essential for transracial adoptees. Elisa’s adoptive parents asked themselves before starting on their lifelong adoption journey, why do we want to adopt? They also took time to research and understand the culture she came from. The most important holidays, the food and what life was like within her birth culture. This helped them better connect not only with Elisa, but also her birth mother. Before adopting Elisa, David and Joan thought about what their child will need to live and flourish in the world and how they could have their own transracial adoption success story. One of the many essential things they committed to doing was recognizing and respecting the birth mother’s want to be a part of her child’s life.

Finding Role Models that Uplift

Elisa’s adoptive family made an effort to find role models in their community that were successful, which showed Elisa that she could be successful too. Having successful role models in her life as she grew up allowed Elisa to see and realize that she is worthy of success. That stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination are wrong, and that the negative narratives perpetrated in society are not true. Having good role models also helped Elisa further connect with her culture and continually foster a positive sense of belonging and community. Role models also helped Elisa further to validate her adoption story as a transracial adoptee. Elisa grew up to know that she is her own person and not a child that her adoptive parents saved.

The Secret to Transracial Adoption Success

All adoptee stories are unique, and Elisa’s story shares with us a few things that made her adoption successful. Her adoptive parents put Elisa first. This made a significant impact on how their adoption journey turned into a transracial adoption success story. Elisa’s adoptive parents were not afraid to ask for help, paid attention to representation in their community and school and checked their biases. They also had open communication with Elisa’s birth mother, which allowed them to develop a relationship with her, and further strengthen their relationship with Elisa.

Everyone has a different definition of success, but one of the most important factors of adoption success is always putting the interests of your child first. To not place your personal agenda before your child.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Sources:

Harness, Susan Devan. “Adopting a child of a different race? Let’s talk.”

Address presented at TedxMileHigh. YouTube. Last modified July 25, 2019.

Accessed July 1, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORk3TGSCl4.

Mehra, Nishta. “10 Tips for a Successful Transracial Adoption.” Mash-Up

Americans. Accessed July 1, 2020. http://www.mashupamericans.com/family/10-tips-for-a-successful-transracial-adoption/

“Transracial Adoption: How to Help Your Child Succeed.” Right Turn. Accessed

July 1, 2020. https://rightturnne.org/transracial-adoption-how-to-help-your-child-succeed/

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Single Parent Adoption Success Story

July 1, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

For the month of July, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be focusing on adoption stories. This week, we will be discussing single parent adoption success and what that means. Until recently, single parent adoption was quite uncommon and has been framed in negativity in the past. Our society has held to the stereotype that a child needs two parents. However, single women and men have shown in recent decades that they are just as successful to be parents.

It is important to note that no one is perfect and everyone has a different definition of “success.” Being a single parent of an adopted child is a unique experience that is both rewarding and challenging. Having a strong support system as a single parent is essential and can help with one’s adoption journey. What does single parent adoption success look like? What does one need to consider before adopting as a single parent? Let’s find out.

Why Single Parents Want to Adopt

Single parents, like married couples, desire to adopt a child and have a family. He or she is prepared to take on the role of parenthood, and nurture and love a child in a secure, healthy environment. A single parent can provide for a child physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Studies have proven that a single parent is often more emotionally and financially stable, and can give their child a fulfilling life.

What to Acknowledge before Single Parent Adoption

A successful single parent hasn’t taken the choice to adopt lightly. They’ve carefully thought through this life-changing decision. This is extremely vital to the process, and an adoption professional will want to know that you are being honest with yourself. That you fully understand the commitment of raising a child. For instance, knowing how to deal with the challenges from societal perspectives and pressures of being a single parent.

It can be helpful for both you to learn the experiences of other single parents, and ensure that you have a support system around you in the good times and bad. You should remember that you do not have to go through any of your adoption journey alone. Achieving single parent adoption success comes with help from others who value your child’s life and your well-being. It is also important to reflect before becoming a single parent of an adoptee and realize that everything you do for your child is in his or her best interest.

Growing and being Successful as a Single Adoptive Parent

To thrive as a single adoptive parent, remember to take care of yourself. Self-care is beneficial for yourself and will help you maintain a balanced mindset to provide the best life for your child. This will carry through the more challenging moments where you feel overwhelmed and doubtful. Surround yourself with people who are not judgmental, but who encourage and inspire you. Who spark your confidence and sense of independence. These two positive characteristics can, in turn, teach your child and help them establish a strong sense of self.

Take one thing at a time. Know that you can and will get over hurdles that adoptive parenthood presents. Stay motivated. Rely on your trustworthy support system and remember that the environment you create as a single parent will stay with your child forever. So, make sure your home is happy, healthy, safe and promotes success.

Furthermore, know that your role as a single adoptive parent does not end once your child is grown up. Your responsibilities may change and manifest in different ways, but you are still a parent and the same person who decided to start a family.

Single Adoptive Parents

Single parent adoption success shows that single parents can provide stability for their child, and that the child can have the best life possible — as much as he or she would in a two-parent family. Adoption Choices of Missouri celebrates single adoptive parents and believes that they deserve the chance to raise families.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

Sources:

https://www.adoptionstogether.org/adopting/single-parent-adoption/

https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/single-parenting/surviving-and-thriving-as-a-single-mom/

Birth Father Blog

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

June 24, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

By Melissa Benedek

There may be many things that come to mind when you think of a birth father. You might think of a birth father as the father of a child who he is not aware of or present in the child’s life. You might think of a birth father as someone who is not married to a birth mother. There are many assumptions one can make, whether correct or incorrect, about who a birth father is. Yet, many beliefs are founded upon stereotypes that are negative and portray all birth fathers as absent, careless and lazy.

There is not much accurate information available about birth fathers in general. However, Adoption Choices of Missouri believes it is important to recognize that birth fathers are as important as birth mothers in the adoption process. A birth father, whether he is known or unknown, is a part of the child’s life and the reason he or she exists. He may be in a relationship with, married to or divorced from the birth mother. Knowing the role of each birth parent is essential to understanding adoption and how it affects everyone involved.

To clarify, let’s discuss the two different types of birth fathers — known vs. unknown — and what each entails.

Who is a Birth Father?

To begin, let’s first establish who a birth father is. A birth father is the father of a child who is adopted or is in the process of becoming an adoptee. A birth father’s relationship with his child varies depending on his position in the adoption journey. Some birth fathers may or may not have parental rights and some may or may not be in a relationship with the child’s birth mother. What remains constant is that a birth father helped bring life into this world, and will forever be a part of his child. Every birth father is unique as is his child.

Types of Birth Fathers

A Known Birth Father

When a birth father is known, he may be in favor of adoption, have a neutral opinion or be against it. If a known birth father does not want to be involved in the adoption process, he will need to sign away his parental rights so the adoption can move forward and be legally finalized.

On the other hand, if a known birth father wants to be a part of the adoption process and is in favor of adoption, he and the birth mother can meet with an adoption agency to create an adoption plan. Even if the birth father chooses to be involved in the adoption process, the birth mother still has ultimate say on what this looks like. This largely depends on what kind of relationship the birth parents share. For instance, a birth mother is more apt to allow the birth father to help support her if they have a strong and healthy relationship. However, if they are recently split or haven’t been on speaking terms for a long time, she might not feel comfortable with him being there. Whatever the case, the birth father must be prepared to respect the birth mother and support however she chooses to place her child for adoption.

Showing support and committing to the adoption plan with the birth mother shows that the birth father wants to give his child a better life. Adoption is a very emotional decision and not one that can be taken lightly. Adoption Choices of Missouri is dedicated to helping birth parents through the initial adoption, transition and beyond. Counseling services are available to both the birth mother and father at no cost to either of them.

An Unknown Birth Father

An unknown birth father is someone who is either not around or not known by the birth mother. In other words, she doesn’t know anything about him. He could be anyone from a one-stand to a man who sexually assaulted her. Unknown birth fathers are, unfortunately, very common within the adoption industry. But don’t worry. This doesn’t mean that your adoption process will be halted. You are still able to place your baby for adoption and search for prospective adoptive parents.

In cases like this, our agency does our due diligence to locate him with any and all information the birth mother is able to provide. If the birth father does not appear within the allotted time, the adoption process is allowed to continue and become finalized without his signature.

Birth Fathers and Adoption

If you are thinking about adoption or have already begun your adoption journey, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you determine if your child’s birth father is known or unknown, and can provide guidance as to what steps to take. Remember that you are making a crucial decision that can be life-changing for your child, and that we are here to support you every step of the way. Depending on your situation with your child’s birth father, his presence or absence will not impact your adoption journey, so long as you and your baby are safe and healthy.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your specific circumstances, don’t hesitate to reach out to our adoption caseworkers. We are more than happy to put your mind at ease, and will ensure that you have the most empowering and positive adoption journey possible — both with and without your child’s birth father.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.