Birth Mother Blog Putting baby up for adoption

Why Adoption Could Be Right for You

Why Adoption Could Be Right for You

By Megan Kostraba

Considering adoption for your baby is an incredibly difficult decision. There’s a lot to think about as a birth mother, and reaching your decision is life-changing either way. Choosing adoption can be intimidating, stressful, and frustrating. However, it can also be the best decision you’ve ever made! Adoption is a wonderful choice when experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, but the road to getting there has some rough terrain. 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have worked with countless women who come from many different backgrounds. Choosing adopción de bebes is hard regardless! Women choose adoption for various reasons, as every birth mother’s adoption plan is unique. This journey of self-exploration is all a part of the adoption process. Find out why adoption could be right for you and why it’s a helpful option for so many women. Let’s talk about why adoption might be your best choice and help you understand your own reasons. 

Choosing Adoption Means Helping An Adoptive Family

When it comes to adoption, you can be sure of one thing. Your child will be placed with a loving and caring family. This is something every adoption agency guarantees birth parents, including us at Adoption Choices of Missouri. While by choosing adoption, you may be missing out on your own wishes, you will also be granting somebody else’s wish. It’s a selfless act that stems from a place of love for your child. 

Adoption isn’t an easy choice that just appears in every birth mother’s mind. It takes a lot of careful thinking. Ultimately, the thought of adoption stems from the unconditional love you have for your child. One thing that helps a lot of birth mothers understand their adoption is the knowledge that the adoptive family also has unconditional love. Your child will be cared for and loved, and depending on the type of adoption you choose, you can even visit your child! Your difficult situation can be a blessing for someone else. 

Choosing Adoption is Choosing Yourself 

Unplanned pregnancies can be extremely scary. Your whole life changes in about a minute, and you may not feel ready for that. That’s okay! Motherhood is not everyone’s choice, and even if it is, you might need more time to prepare for it. Women choose adoption for various reasons. Some of those can include:

  • Financial concerns 
  • Medical issues 
  • Personal goals 
  • Age 
  • Preparedness 
  • Unsupportive family 
  • Unsupportive partner 

Having your own wants and wishes in life that are separate from your child is okay. Some birth mothers want to reach career or education goals. Even getting married or moving might influence your decision! Whatever your reasons might be, remember that it is okay to choose yourself. 

You Can Feel in Control When You Consider Adoption 

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be scary and confusing! You might feel like you have no control over the situation, and it can be hard to live in that reality. Some birth mothers take comfort in the fact that there are options, like adoption, out there for them. Those options help birth mothers feel more control over their situation in comparison to that panic-inducing realization that stems from an unplanned pregnancy. 

Choosing adoption is choosing your baby over anyone else, including yourself. 

You Can See Your Child Thrive with an Adoptive Family 

Depending on the type of adoption you choose, you might have multiple opportunities to communicate with your child! There are a lot of misconceptions about adoption out there, one of them being that birth parents don’t want to see their child. This is a very personal choice as a birth parent, but some do want to see their child thrive. 

It can be hard to accept the fact that you will not be playing the role of ‘parent’ in your child’s life. Something that can help is understanding that you do have the opportunity to see them grow! With an open adoption, you can communicate with your child through options like:

  • Video calls 
  • Emailing 
  • Texting 
  • In-person meetings

Adoption in Missouri is more open than some people realize! You and your adoption specialist can discuss all of your options and choose a plan that supports your wants and wishes. 

Choosing Adoption with an Agency is Choosing Support for Yourself 

There can be a lot of challenges to face when it comes to choosing adoption. Many people are intimidated by the adoption process and all the unknowns that follow. That’s what adoption agencies are there for! 

Adoption agencies prioritize the birth mother. We understand what you are going through and want to help in multiple ways! At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we offer a number of services for our birth mothers. Financial support, medical care, support counseling, housing—these are just some of the ways we can help you during your adoption journey. When you choose to work with an agency for your adoption, you know that you are in good hands! 

Choosing Adoption Today

Ultimately, choosing adoption is a very personal choice. It takes time to think it all over! This period of self-reflection is important to your decision-making process. Remember that adoption is a selfless act, not selfish. The reasons you have for choosing adoption might differ from someone else’s. However, adoption all stems from one thing: the love you have for your child. 

If you are considering adoption for your child or are looking for some guidance, reach out to one of our adoption agencies near you! We are here to help. With Adoption Choices of Missouri, you are our priority. 

 

Birth Mother Blog

The Misconceptions Surrounding Birth Mothers and Adoption

The Misconceptions Surrounding Birth Mothers and Adoption 

By Megan Kostraba

The adoption process can be scary, intimidating, and frustrating. It takes courage to make the decision to consider adoption for your baby! Making your choice is influenced by all kinds of things. Your beliefs, your values, your wishes, your intuition—the list can go on. What we at Adoption Choices of Missouri don’t want to influence your choice, however, is the stigma around birth mothers. 

Adoption is one of those concepts that people can feel very strongly about. A lot of people don’t understand how the adoption process works, how we function as adoption agencies in Missouri, or even what goes through a birth mother’s mind. The unknowns that follow adoption leave people thinking that it’s an untrustworthy, irresponsible choice. 

We don’t want you making your choice based on the opinions of others! Adoption is a lot of things all wrapped in one, but it’s also, most importantly, your choice. Your adoption plan is a unique one that caters to the needs of you and your child. The choices you make are no one’s but your own, regardless of the stigma that surrounds adoption. If you’re pregnant and considering adoption, we want you to understand what these misconceptions are and why we can dispel them. 

Birth Mothers Choosing Adoption are Mostly Teenagers

An unplanned pregnancy can happen to anyone. Unexpected pregnancies have happened to women from all different backgrounds and will only continue to happen as time moves on. There is a stigma against teen birth mothers—people assume that all birth mothers are young women. As an adoption agency, we’ve worked with women who come from all different ages and backgrounds. Whatever age you are when your unplanned pregnancy has occurred, you can know that you are not alone! 

Unexpected pregnancies overwhelm, panic, and imitate birth mothers, and we understand why! Pregnancy can upturn your life in a matter of seconds. Whatever age you may be when considering adoption for your baby, remember that what you are feeling has been felt by countless others.

Birth Mothers are Giving a Child Up for Adoption

Some people aren’t aware that considering adoption for your baby is one of the hardest things a woman can do. There’s a lot that goes into making your choice—and what doesn’t help is others using negative adoption language. When you choose adoption, you are not “giving a child up for adoption”. Adoption does not make you a bad person. Adoption means sacrificing your own wishes and wants to give your child opportunities in life that you may not be able to give. It’s incredibly hard to accept that sometimes, and takes self healing. Our agency can provide birth mothers the support they need through our counseling services and other helpful resources. 

Adoption always stems from a place of love and care for your child. You want what is best for them, and sometimes, what’s best for them is being with an adoptive family. 

Birth Mothers that Choose Adoption are Selfish

Birth mothers are actually the opposite of selfish, they’re selfless. They make the choice that is best for their child, despite what they want. Some women want children, but it’s just the wrong time. Some women suffer from health complications and can’t raise their own children. Adoption is a wonderful alternative for these situations. But, accepting your decision can be so difficult. Adoption causes feelings of regret, guilt, and grief. A lot of people don’t realize that birth mothers have to accept the role they will play in their baby’s life by choosing adoption, despite their desires. 

Choosing adoption takes courage, bravery, and self-reflection. It isn’t easy, and it certainly isn’t selfish to want what is best for your child. 

Birth Mothers Don’t Want a Relationship with their Child 

The relationship a birth mother wants between herself and her child is entirely up to her! There are different types of adoption for this very reason. During a closed adoption, there is no relationship or extra contact between the birth mother and the adoptive family. Some birth mothers do want this privacy! This separation gives both the child and the birth mother a chance to heal and accept the adoption on their own. 

However, some birth mothers do want to have a relationship with their child! We can do this through an open adoption in Missouri. In this kind of adoption, a birth mother shares a relationship with the adoptive family. The depth and kind of relationship is something that would have to be discussed between both parties, but many birth mothers choose this path! You can have contact with your child through videos, digital communication, pictures, video calls, even in person meetings! An open adoption is very common in adoption in Missouri

Birth Mothers that Choose Adoption are Women Who Don’t Want Children 

As we’ve mentioned before, an unplanned pregnancy can happen to any woman at any time. Some women who choose adoption are actually already parents! Whether it’s your first, second, or third born child, adoption always remains an option. Choosing adoption while you’re already a parent makes the choice even harder sometimes. Birth mothers can feel emotions of guilt and grief, and may even question their own parenting skills. It’s important to remember that we are our own worst critics. Birth mothers tend to be harsher on themselves than any of the other misconceptions and opinions out there. 

Pregnancy is one of those things that has the power to interrupt all of your life plans. Some women do have the aspiration to be a mother and experience motherhood! Just, not yet. And that’s okay! That’s why there are options, like adoption, to help women going through an unexpected pregnancy. 

Dispelling the Misconceptions About Adoption 

Despite what some people think about birth mothers and adoption in general, we know the truth. And so do you! Birth mothers are caring women who want what is best for their child—and there is nothing more important than that. When you’re thinking about adoption in Missouri, remember that we’ve worked with women from all walks of life! With us, you can feel safe, comfortable, and secure in your choice. Reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri for any other questions about your adoption journey. We can work on dispelling these misconceptions, together.