Birth Mother Blog

What Will People Think if I Give my Baby up for Adoption?

What Will People Think if I Give my Baby up for Adoption?

One of the biggest challenges for birth mothers like you choosing adoption is the stigma around adoption. Even the phrase “giving up” implies that you are giving up on your child somehow. What people may not see, however, is the reasons why an adoption is your best option. It is a positive outcome of a teen pregnancy or an unplanned pregnancy. It also helps you know that your child will continue to be safe. The adoptive families as well are thrilled to have the opportunity to have a child. While it is understandable to be concerned about stigma, here are a few reasons why we at Adoption Choices of Missouri think adoption could be for you.

You Aren’t Really Giving Baby up for Adoption

Let’s face it, the phrase “giving my baby up for adoption” doesn’t sound charitable. But it’s not only uncharitable, it’s also misleading. You aren’t giving your baby up; you’re giving them an opportunity to be with a family that has the resources to take care of them. The adoptive family certainly isn’t giving up anything either: they have the opportunity to have the child they have dreamed of. It’s a win-win scenario for both families.

We understand that it’s tough to worry about what other people think, but also remember that some of their concerns come from their lack of knowledge about adoption. If someone is curious about adoptions or just doesn’t understand how it all works, you can always send them over to our Adoption Choices of Missouri website!

You Know the Baby is Better Off with Another Family

Like our previous point, only you know all the details of your won situation. People may make assumptions, but only you can know whether you’re able to be the parent you want to be at this moment. Putting your baby up for adoption doesn’t mean you have been irresponsible. Pregnancies can happen even if you used birth control or didn’t plan on them happening at all. Choosing adoption may be the most responsible choice you can make. Once people understand your story, they will likely see how you’re making the right decision for your pregnancy.

Adoption Agencies Help Pregnant Mothers

Some people worry about your pregnancy for much more compassionate reasons. They may worry about your own health and safety. Especially if you’re a single mother looking for unplanned pregnancy options, a friend could worry if you’ll be able to support yourself during a pregnancy. Juggling a job with a pregnancy is already a lot to ask of a mother. During the final months, you may not be able to work at all.

Adoption Choices of Missouri offers a variety of resources to make sure that every birth mother can stay safe and healthy during their whole pregnancy. With a combination of our own resources and government programs, we’ll help the bills get paid and get you to the doctor. Even if you’re uninsured or homeless, we’ll help you find housing and pay for health care. Health and safety won’t be an issue during your pregnancy. Next time someone asks about whether you can pay for the pregnancy, you can let them know that you’ll be taken care of.

Adoptive Families Provide Happy Homes

Another misconception about adoptions is that adoptive families are just anyone. Not many people are familiar with the process that adoptive families go through so they can apply to be adoptive families. Missouri has enacted strong programs to help adoptive families prepare for adoption and to make sure they are ready.

The STARS program in Missouri consists of two parts. The first, a training program for adoptive families. Whether or not the adoptive parents have children, it teaches them about raising children and advice to keep in mind while raising an adopted child. The other is the equivalent of what other states call a home study. The living space of the adopted family is checked to make sure it is safe for children. An interview is also conducted with the adoptive family about their history, and the local social services runs a background check to confirm the family is happy and healthy.

Talking to Others About Adoption

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows well that people will always have misconceptions. Unfortunately, there’s no way to stop people from making some negative assumptions about adoptions and birth mothers. We still believe, however, that many of these assumptions start to go away once people understand how adoptions truly work. Only you know what’s best for you and your child, and we can make sure you’re always taken care of during a pregnancy. Once the child is placed with another family, you can remain assured that they’re well taken care of. If you have friends with concerns or want to help more people learn about adoption, send them over to Adoption Choices of Missouri!

 

Birth Mother Blog

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

As a mother, one of the scariest thoughts is that your child could end up hating you for putting them up for adoption. Just a few questions might be, “isn’t it called giving your baby up for adoption? Will they think I am a bad parent? What if they realize they came from an unplanned pregnancy?” We’ll be the first to admit: it is kind of scary! How can you possibly know what your child will think long after they have started living with the adoptive family? To answer questions just like these, our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri has combined years of experience helping mothers just like you. As you read on, you may find you have a bit less to worry about than you thought. 

You can Talk to the Adoptive Family

In an open adoption, which most mothers choose, you have the opportunity to talk to and communicate with the adoptive family. This serves two main purposes. The first: you get the peace of mind that your child will be living with a loving family. It always feels as if there are a million things to worry about during an adoption, so knowing the family is kind lifts a weight off your shoulders. 

The second is that the adoptive family can learn a little about you as well if you would like. When it comes time for the adoptive family to tell their child about you, they can explain your situation as you told it to them. Your child will get to learn about you and your story. 

Was Putting Them Up for Adoption the Best Choice?

If you chose adoption in Missouri, that is because it was the best choice for the happiness and safety of the child. Remember, only you know your circumstances and choices at a given time. Whether your child was the result of an unplanned pregnancy or if your financial situation changed dramatically, adoption may be the best way to give your child the future you would like them to have. 

There’s one thing all children do with enough time: they grow up. When your child is older and understands more about their own adoption and how the world works, they’ll see why you did what you did. People are empathetic, and they will also be able to see how you couldn’t have given them the childhood they deserved. 

The Experiences of Adoptees

One other way you can know that your child won’t hate you is through the experiences of other adopted children. You might find that a surprising number of adoptees don’t hold any resentment for their birth parents at all. They recognize the reality of the situation: that not all people are ready to be parents all the time. Life is in no way predictable: there’s no way for someone to prepare for every possible situation. 

Some adoptees also meet their birth parents as adults. Since they’re able to reason with your story, they’re even more likely to accept that you were making the best decision you could. 

Adoptive Families are Loving, Too

We also know many mothers who are pregnant and need help worry that maybe the adoptive family won’t be kind to their child. Is there any way to know the adoptive family won’t make you sound like a horrible mother who abandoned her child?

Well, the main way is through the adoption home study and interview process. Not just anybody can be an adoptive parent. They must pass a series of requirements and tests before being considered by adoption agencies. The home study focuses on the financial preparedness of the family. Paperwork must be in order, and health insurance must be available. The second half of the home study is the interview. If the parents say anything at all that may bring their ability to parent into question, they may lose their ability to become adoptive parents at all. 

All of this to say, adoptive parents have a lot of hoops to jump through for the opportunity to adopt. The result is that adoptive families are 100% sure they want to have the child they will soon adopt. 

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows how difficult it is for you to worry about your child’s future. It is absolutely normal to be scared and concerned about the future of your child. You’re considering adoption because you’re worried about their future! But from the experiences of adoptees to the love of adoptive families, there are many reasons why your child will likely never come to hate you. If you have any other concerns or questions, give us a call at Adoption Choices of Missouri!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

Birth Mother Blog

What if the Adoptive Family Doesn’t Accept my Baby?

What if the Adoptive Family Doesn’t Accept My Baby?

One of the scariest thoughts for mothers like you looking to put their baby up for adoption is the thought that the adoptive family isn’t loving. You can be sure that you care about your baby; after all, you can see your own thoughts. But how can you know that adoptive families will care? How do adoption agencies in Missouri make sure that only loving families end up in the system? Will the adoptive family care if the baby came from a teen pregnancy or has a complicated family history? Adoption Choices of Missouri knows how difficult the idea of an adoptive family can be for birth mothers. Here are just a few of the reasons why you can feel secure when giving your baby up for adoption. 

All Adoptive Families Support the Adoption Financially

Adoptive families give their financial resources to help facilitate the adoption. After months of waiting for the opportunity to adopt, they wholeheartedly support the safety of both the birth mother and the child. These families have made a significant financial commitment to adopting a child. Some of the fees they pay even go towards making sure you and your child are happy and healthy during your pregnancy.

Adoptive Families All-Pass the Home Study

The home study is an in-depth interview process that makes sure all adoptive families are ready to raise a child. In order to qualify to be an adoptive family for Adoption Choices of Missouri’s or any other adoption agencies in Missouri, the family must pass their home study. While the exact record of what questions and answers are given during a home study are mostly confidential, you can still learn about some of the details of the requirements to be met during a home study.

 The goal of a home study is to determine if the family is physically, emotionally, and fiscally prepared to adopt a child. The family must pass a criminal background check and make sure there is no history of child abuse or neglect. Their doctor must prove they are physically healthy enough to care for a child as well. A social worker will also ask them questions about their parenting style and personal relationships. Houses that pass home studies also don’t contain hazards for young children. Pets are well-trained and electrical outlets have plastic covers. A family’s home study must also be updated each year, so you know that all the information is up to date. 

You Can Learn About the Adoptive Family

Adoption Choices of Missouri supports open adoptions where the birth parents and adoptive parents can communicate and meet. Before making your final decision about an adoptive family, your adoption caseworker will provide you with in-depth information about the adoptive family. Their religious beliefs, parenting experience, and a short biography are all included no matter which Missouri adoption plan you make. In fact, you can even review the adoptive families that are waiting to adopt. Learning more about the adoptive family can seriously help put your mind at ease! 

After your pregnancy, you can communicate with the family if you choose an open adoption. They can send you pictures and videos of your child living a happy, healthy life. It can be difficult to stop worrying before the adoption has taken place. But once you can relax and see how your child is doing, you may find that you wonder why you were so worried in the first place.

Adoptive Parents Love Children as Much as Birth Parents

It isn’t just birth mothers who worry about adoptive families loving children. Sometimes families with children worry if they will love their adopted child the same way as their non-adopted ones. But time and time again, adoptive families intensely love the children they adopt. No matter who the adoptive family is and no matter the child. The bond between parent and child remains strong in adoptive families. The experience of watching an adoptive child grow up is just like that of watching a biological child grow up. In fact, some adoptive parents were even adopted from adoption agencies as children. They want to give the positive experience they had to a new person.

How to Know that Adoptive Families Will Care for Your Baby

Adoptive families care just as much about their children as birth families do. Although the phrase “giving baby up for adoption” is used, placing a child with an adoptive family isn’t giving up at all. They are thrilled to have the opportunity to parent and statistically have been shown to care deeply about their children. And to be safe, adoptive families also pass a variety of evaluations to make sure they are up to the task. Before and after your pregnancy, you will learn about the adoptive family to answer some of your more specific questions. But no matter what, your child’s adoptive family is happy and ready to take care of your child. Want to see our waiting families or start your adoption plan? Visit our website at Adoption Choices of Missouri today!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

Birth Father Birth Mother Blog

Celebrating Father’s Day During an Adoption

Celebrating Father’s Day During an Adoption

Father’s Day is coming up. It’s a holiday that celebrates the contributions and acknowledges the struggles of fatherhood for all fatherly figures. Fun fact, Father’s Day was first celebrated in June 1910 after a push from a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd. It was then first recognized federally by former President Richard Nixon. The day has a storied history, and birth fathers can celebrate too! It may feel strange to take time for you and your partner while there is always so much to do, but we believe you absolutely deserve some time to celebrate. Adoption Choices of Missouri loves birth fathers and their contributions to families. Here’s just a few ways you can celebrate Father’s Day during an adoption.

  • Get the Birth Father a Thoughtful Gift

Who doesn’t love a good gift? A gift doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. Your partner will appreciate any gift knowing that you got it for them specifically. Maybe it’s as big as a date to a restaurant or as small as a simple letter. A gift can also be an act of kindness. Take a turn doing one of his least favorite chores. He will appreciate the extra help.

  • Seeing Your Child Post-Adoption

If you opted for an open adoption, you and your partner could visit the baby after their birth. Seeing your baby happy and healthy after the birth is a nice reassurance that the baby is doing just fine. The birth father also will get to talk to the adoptive family and feel secure in your decision to put your baby up for adoption.

  • Visit a Museum

Is your partner a history buff? Or maybe he is a big fan of art or science? Whatever his interests are, try and find an interesting museum to visit. Not only is a museum a great place for a date, but it’s also a fun way to learn a little more about certain topics. Many local histories and art museums are even free or almost free to visit any time. It’ll be a fun way to spend an afternoon celebrating your partner’s interests.

  • Have Some Fun at Home

Going out is great, but sometimes it’s nice to stay in for the holiday. If you have had an old puzzle that has been lying around dying to get finished, now’s the time to bust it out and get to work on it. If you have a deck of cards, see if you can find some rules online for a new game to learn. Enjoy board games like chess or checkers? Father’s Day is the perfect opportunity to sit down and play.

There’s no stay-at-home activity quite like sitting down and watching a movie. Some fathers may like different ideas. Maybe for you, Father’s Day is watching his favorite movie together for the 1,000th time. You could also find a new movie to watch.

  • Get Some Quality Time Together

Sometimes it feels as if everyone is busy all the time. Especially during the adoption process, it can feel almost impossible to carve out some time out of your schedule. This Father’s Day, try to take some time specifically for quality time this year. Go out to a park if the weather’s nice and have a simple little picnic. Go out to eat somewhere you have wanted to go for ages. Or maybe just stay in and cook for the birth father. Whatever it takes to get some quality time, it’ll be worth it to spend some good time with each other.

  • Make and Work on a Bucket List

Father’s Day should be a break from finding unplanned pregnancy options. Making a list of stuff you and your partner want to do reminds you of what’s good in life. Be sure to have achievable goals alongside your lofty ones on your bucket list. Staying at a fancy hotel is a fun goal, but maybe going fishing is a bit more realistic within the next few months. Has your partner wanted to try using that grill in storage but never learned how? Add it to the bucket list! These lists will help keep you motivated and excited for the days to come.

Celebrating Father’s Day during an adoption with the Birth Father in Missouri

Adoption Choices of Missouri wants you and your partner to have a great time celebrating Father’s Day during an adoption. As you work through the adoption process, it’s good to acknowledge and appreciate the birth father’s contributions. Try giving your father a thoughtful gift or visiting a museum this Father’s Day. Watch a movie at home or go have a picnic to spend some quality time together. Make a bucket list to see if you can knock anything off of it. And if you ever want more help with the adoption process or talking to birth fathers, you can give us as call or check out our website at Adoption Choices of Missouri.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

 

Birth Mother Blog

Pros and Cons of Same-Sex Adoption in Missouri 

Pros and Cons of Same-Sex Adoption in Missouri 

Due to being unable to have a child themselves, you may find that many of the available families looking to adopt children are LGBTQ+ couples. Vast amounts of research have shown that same-sex couples can raise children just as well as any other couple. Gay parents also tend to have far more adaptable parent roles than straight parents. No same-sex marriage is perfect, but no straight marriage is perfect either. Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to show you why so many gay parents become great adoptive family candidates. Here are some pros and cons of same-sex adoption in Missouri.

Pros for an LGBTQ+ Adoption

Same-sex couples make great adoptive families. They have lots of love to give. Children raised by gay parents excel and the parents don’t adhere to stereotypes. Here are just a few reasons why choosing a gay adoptive family may be the best option for you.

  1. Lots of Love and Acceptance

Gay couples haven’t always had the easiest time, especially in America. It wasn’t until recently that gay marriage was legal at all throughout the United States. Furthermore, gay couples deal with significantly more societal stigma and discrimination than straight couples. Sometimes gay students are bullied more at school as well. But that adversity leads to gay couples having lots of love to give. They already know how to love in the face of adversity and how to love despite what everybody else thinks. They have strong couple relationships and can form good bonds with their children. These aspects are exactly why you can be sure that a same-sex couple will love and care for your child.

Children of gay parents aren’t told that they shouldn’t do something because they’re a boy or because they’re a girl. These children learn how to carve out their own identity and pursue careers they’re interested in despite stereotypes about that field or about their own gender.  

  1. Great at Raising Children

Most gay couples cannot have an accidental pregnancy. This means that more gay parents are committed to their children than even straight parents. Gay parents have lots of compassion and a great track record for adopting children. Children from gay couples also have good self-esteem, perhaps because gay parents had to work to carve out a space in society where they fit. You can always learn more about a potential adoptive gay couple as well during the interview we’ll set up!

Gay parents also teach tolerance and acceptance to their children. By seeing an example of how people different from themselves from a young age can be kind, children learn to reserve judgment about those they don’t know. They learn that even if someone is very different from themselves, that person is still a person just the same as the rest of us. Children of gay parents also do fine at school. They perform about the same on average, but that makes sense given having gay parents probably won’t help a kid on their algebra test.

  1. Adaptable Parent Roles

In many heterosexual relationships, people tend to fall into the standard male and female roles in marriage. Many people enjoy these roles, and this works out fine, but gay parents in particular parent really well. As opposed to leaning on gender roles, gay parents pick and choose tasks based not on what is expected, but on what each parent is better at. This means that there is generally more even distribution of tasks and that both parents are likely to be very loving towards their child. In general, there is a sense that both parents act as equals in the relationship. 

  1. In Many Ways, Gay Parents are Like Straight Parents

Most of the time, gay parents are like straight parents. Both parents may be the same gender, but they have different, complementary personalities. While some may think both would play the traditional role of the father, they actually tend to split roles traditionally held by mothers and fathers. This, of course, also means that some gay parents fall into the same pitfalls as any other parents. Nevertheless, you can rest assured that all same-sex adoptive families have passed the same interviews and requirements for the adoption process as straight families. 

Cons for a LGBTQ+ Adoption

Unfortunately, not everything is so easy. Same-sex couples have challenges like everybody else, and here is a little bit of what you may expect to see.

  1. Societal Stigma Towards Gay Marriage

In spite of the progress made in the past couple of e decades, there is still stigma towards gay couples in the United States. Depending on where you live or the dominant religions in those areas, gay parents have to deal with far more judgment than straight parents. This can mean a more difficult time finding parent support groups and for transgender or non-binary parents, and a more difficult time finding healthcare. Many states also have failed to update their anti-discrimination policies to include LGBTQ+ people. 

Giving Baby up for Adoption? Same-Sex Parents are a Great Choice

Adoption Choices of Missouri want you to be well informed in choosing the right adoptive parent, that is why we want you to know the pros and cons of same-sex adoption. We supports same-sex and LGBTQ+ couples because we’ve seen positive outcomes from these families. Gay parents foster love and acceptance in the family. They also teach their kids how to be kind and accepting towards others. Gay parents also are great at sharing leadership roles and responsibilities in the family. But just like any other family, some couples deal with tough challenges and societal stigma. If you’re interested in choosing a same-sex couple as an adoptive family, get in touch with one of our adoption caseworkers today. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

Birth Father Birth Mother Blog

Adoption in Missouri When the Birth Father is Unsupportive

Adoption in Missouri When the Birth Father is Unsupportive

Every adoption story is different. Some couples come to the decision to put their baby up for adoption together, but others don’t quite have the luxury. It can be difficult to tackle adoption alone, and difficult legal issues can arise from attempting to do so without your partner’s consent. However, sometimes you have to decide what is the right one for you and your baby. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we want to make sure you get the help you need to sort out difficult questions like this. An unsupportive or absent birth father can make things more complicated, but not impossible. Here are just a few steps you can take to work through an adoption with that situation. 

Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri For Adoption Help

Contacting an adoption agency is important for a variety of reasons. Between our staff, we have many years of experience with the adoption process and have seen many different cases with birth fathers as well. Also, we can make sure you understand the options you have in your current situation. Plus, our services will always be free to any birth mother in need. While you can find some information about making an adoption plan with an unsupportive birth father online, many factors can influence your choices. Your best option is to contact an adoption agency before moving forward with the adoption process. 

What Happens When the Birth Father is Absent During the Adoption Process?

If the birth father is not married to you or out of your life entirely, there are a couple of options. Missouri has a putative father registry. This allows for someone to acknowledge their biological parenthood of children outside of marriage. If they did register with that system, they would be notified by law if you wish to put your baby up for adoption. However, if the birth father hasn’t provided support, communication, and/or never visited the child for a period of at least six months, their parental rights may be terminated by law. If the birth father is still in your life to some extent, we can help you communicate with him and counsel you. 

Our adoption caseworkers have years of experience and knowledge to help sort out more specific details and answer your questions. 

What To Do If the Birth Father Doesn’t Want You to Put Your Baby up for Adoption

If the birth father is still involved in the life of the child and helps support that child, then courts require the consent of both parents to relinquish their parental rights to put a child up for adoption. 

This can make the task of putting your baby up for adoption even more challenging. One important thing to remember is that, for many fathers, putting their baby up for adoption is a tough decision to make. Just like you, they wrestle with some difficult feelings. Even if you have determined that adoption is the best choice for you, the birth father has to go through much of the same emotional processing. 

Tips for Communicating About Adoption

You and your adoption caseworker can work together to talk about adoption to your partner and/or the birth father. Sometimes learning more about the adoption process and making an adoption plan can make someone more willing to trust the adoption process. If the father is worried about where the baby will go afterward, we can explain the in-depth interviews and requirements for all adoptive parents. If they’re worried about being able to support the pregnancy financially, we have plenty of financial resources for housing, transportation, and healthcare. 

We want to help you communicate about adoption in a comfortable way. Putting your baby up for adoption, going through an unplanned pregnancy, and trying to communicate about difficult topics are all tasks that can weigh heavily on you. Let us take some of that weight off your shoulders and make things easier. 

Unplanned Pregnancy Options When the Birth Father is Unsupportive or Absent

You finally have decided on adoption. After looking at your options and learning about adoption agencies and resources, you know it’s the best option for you and your child. It can be a scary thing to do, but you’ve made up your mind. But there’s just one problem: how do you tell your partner about this? How will they respond? Are they in the picture at all? 

If your story sounds anything like this, we want to help you communicate and come to an agreement with the birth father. It’s important to remember empathy sometimes. Giving a baby up for adoption is hard for fathers too. Just know that Adoption Choices of Missouri will be with you every step of the way. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

 

Birth Mother Blog

Putting My Baby up for Adoption in Missouri

Putting My Baby up for Adoption in Missouri

Unplanned pregnancy? Here at Adoption Choices of Missouri adoption agency, we want to provide everything we can to help you with a successful adoption. we’ve got you covered. Adoption is a kinder alternative that allows you to have a say in where your baby goes after your pregnancy. Our caseworkers will make sure you understand every step of the adoption process. When adoption paperwork or an adoption attorney is needed, we handle all the tough complications to keep you focused on what’s most important. When you’re ready to choose an adoptive family, we’ll have a variety of options ready.

Are You Considering Adoption in Missouri?

Of course, the beginning is the best place to start. Once you and your adoption caseworker set up a meeting, you can start defining the details of the adoption. Paperwork, sadly, is an essential part of this process. However, with the help of your adoption caseworker, you don’t have to worry if you’re accidentally messing something up. Completing the initial paperwork will allow you the most freedom to decide where your child goes after birth as well.

Another critical part that your caseworker will help with is finding a doctor. A doctor provides the best solution to make sure both you and your baby stay happy and healthy during your pregnancy. Tests, screenings, and ultrasounds can be a bit intimidating, but your caseworker will help ease your fears if you’re anxious about a visit. Once you’ve gone to the doctor and learned what is best for you and your baby, you may find you have a better understanding of why you chose adoption.

Finding the Right Financial Assistances To Begin Your Adoption Journey

One of the most troubling thoughts for a birth parent is, “will I be able to pay for this?” Doctor’s visits, maternity clothes, transportation, and time lost at work all contribute to a loss of financial security. For some birth mothers, they never had that financial security in the first place. To help these parents, Adoption Choices helps provide you with financial resources and matches you with state monetary assistance as well. Putting your baby up for adoption always comes at absolutely no cost to you, the birth parent. With helping you comes helping you get the healthcare you need too. We can help provide transportation and shelter during and for some time after your pregnancy as well. All of these programs are catered to your needs, so even if circumstances change during your pregnancy, we still have got you covered.

Matching Your Child with an Adoptive Family

We make sure every single adoptive family is thoroughly vetted and loving adoptive family. We also know, though, that you may like to get a say in which adoptive family is matched with your child. If you choose an open adoption, we have a variety of candidates available for you to learn about and maybe even meet.

We have a wonderful variety of adoptive parents who would be thrilled for the opportunity to raise a child. If you’re unsure about the options presented by your caseworker, we can bring more options to the table as well.  If you would rather not pick, we can choose a loving adoptive family for you. No matter the family, you can rest assured your child will be well taken care of.

Remember to Practice Self-Care During the Adoption Process

Once all the details are taken care of and we’ve found a great adoptive family for your child, it’s time to take an extra breather. The doctor’s visits, paperwork, and choices are enough to exhaust anybody who isn’t also pregnant. There is no need to be tired and stressed out for your entire pregnancy. Use your time to take a breather. Talk to your doctor about good ways to take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Have a specific craving for waffles? No one’s going to blame you for just getting store-bought ones. If you’ve been itching to bake some cookies, now is the time to try it out. If you can, be sure to take some time to talk to other people as well. There are plenty of online and in-person pregnancy support groups that we can help you get in touch with.

Working with Our Adoption Agency in Missouri

Putting your baby up for adoption is a great choice for you and your child, and Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to help you do that. Our adoption caseworkers will help you sort out all the complicated details to get you started and provide you with financial assistance. We also match you with adoptive families for you to meet with to keep you feeling secure in your child’s future.  We want to make sure that you get some rest and stay healthy while waiting for your due date.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

 

Birth Mother Blog

What Adoption Choices Adoption of Missouri Can Do for You

What Adoption Choices Adoption of Missouri Can Do for You

Even if you live in the most rural parts of Missouri, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. Sometimes the best choice to give your child the care they deserve is adoption. That’s why we offer a variety of services and resources for birth mothers looking to put their baby up for adoption. We care about our birth mothers, so we provide financial assistance, various types of adoptions, and years of experience working with mothers to you all for free.

Remember, you can always call or text one of our adoption counselors with no commitment at 816-527-9800 or message us online.

Financial assistance

Our Missouri adoption agency provides for a variety of financial needs during your pregnancy. Your adoption counselor will help you figure out exactly what your needs are and how they can assist you with your current financial situation.

If you’re homeless, we can provide money for rent and utilities and help you find affordable housing. We also provide help with transportation and medical bills to make sure you never miss important doctor’s appointments.

Especially pregnant women need plenty of food, so we provide assistance for groceries as well. Find that none of your clothes fit quite right anymore? We can help provide maternity clothes too. Whatever your financial needs are, we’re committed to helping you meet them.

Types of adoptions

Adoption Choices of Missouri offers a few different types of adoptions: open adoptions, semi-open adoptions, and closed adoptions. Most parents participate in an open adoption in the U.S. The birth parents and adoptive parents share identifying contact information, and they likely will even meet in person. This is a great option for most people, and Adoption Choices will help you choose a birth family you feel comfortable raising your baby. In a closed adoption, the birth and adoptive parents don’t meet and usually know little to nothing about each other. These are uncommon in domestic adoptions, but Adoption Choices does offer this as an option. Finally, semi-open adoptions have some contact with specific rules between the sets of parents. Sometimes this means not sharing identifying information or only sharing photos through a third-party mediator. Whichever option you choose for your pregnancy, Adoption Choices has got you covered.

We bring our years of experience with adoption to you

Our staff is all thoroughly familiar with both the adoption process and the needs of birth mothers. Executive director Amy Bryant acted as a Child Placement Supervisor since 2015 and is a licensed social worker with a master’s degree in social work. Kate Fibert, social services director, has been here since 2017 and earned her master’s in 2018 along with a clinical license. Child placement supervisor Heather Brown got to raise a foster child of her own and worked for several years as a reintegration/adoption contractor. She earned a degree in social work in 2017 and continues to raise her four children.

Adoption case manager Brandy Johnson worked for nine years with pregnant women and children. Between our team of passionate mothers and people with a passion for helping mothers, we have all the training and experience to give you the care you deserve.

Birth parent counselors at our adoption agency Missouri

During every step of the process, our birth parent counselors offer their experience and assistance. First, they help you fill out all the paperwork you need to get financial assistance. Then, they educate you on the adoption process and make sure you understand what’s happening at every stage. Then they help you find choices for good adoptive families who are all thoroughly screened and interviewed by social workers. Before your due date, your counselor helps you develop a hospital plan to make that stay comfortable. And perhaps most importantly, counselors help you navigate the legal side of putting your baby up for adoption and arrange for an attorney as well.

A compassionate adoption process

At Adoption Choices, we know how hard the adoption process can be for you and your family. Birth mother counselors provide material support, but they also provide emotional support for you. Adoption Choices only helps as many mothers as we can so we can guarantee a high quality of care for each and every mother we serve.

What Adoption Choices of Missouri Can Offer You

We offer a variety of services for birth mothers and adoptive families here at Adoption Choices of Missouri. We make sure you get matched with the financial assistance you need to keep you and your baby safe. We offer several types of adoptions in Missouri depending on your needs and preferences. Throughout our staff, we have years of experience parenting and helping other parents to keep their kids safe. In addition, our counselors will give educational and emotional support to make sure you feel cared for during the entire adoption process.

If you’re a birth mother, you can text or call 816-527-9800 with any questions or fill out our online form.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.”

His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician:
“A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.