Birth Mother Blog

All about Adoptees

All about Adoptees

By Jaclyn Prasa

As a birth mother who is seeking options for your unplanned pregnancy, you may also be absorbed in thought, wondering about the effects of adoption on your baby. Choosing adoption is in itself an act of love. If you are considering adoption because you can’t take care of your baby, adoption allows for more opportunities for your child. While the choice is made out of love, it is still one hard choice to make. Giving up your baby for adoption may be the hardest thing that you will do. While it’s emotionally challenging for birth parents, the adoptee is the one most affected. Being an adoptee is a different experience, filled with its own conflicting thoughts and emotions. 

How Adoption Works

The adoption process begins when you, the birth mother, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri. You will make an adoption plan that consists of any resources that you may need. Adoption Choices of Missouri can come to meet you wherever you are most comfortable to start planning your adoption plan. We offer financial stability, safe housing, medical care, and emotional support counseling. As you begin to create your plan with an adoption counselor, you will choose the kind of adoption level of openness. There are three kinds: open, semi-open, and closed adoption. 

The level of openness pertains to how involved you wish to remain in your child’s life. Open adoption involves direct communication and contact that is agreed upon by both you and your chosen adoptive family. A closed adoption means that you will not maintain any contact with your child or the adoptive family. This part, choosing the level of openness, is a major part of the adoption that leaves a lasting impact on the adoptee. 

Additionally, you will choose the family that raises your child. Our waiting families have been screened and verified before being allowed the privilege of adoption. You can search through our website to find the perfect fit based on important criteria to you in who you wish to raise your child. 

Creating an Adoption Plan

Once your adoption plan and birth plan are created, then you return to your life and pregnancy. Adoption Choices of Missouri will always be here to help you with any questions, and we may remind you about your upcoming prenatal care checkups. You also may be in contact with your adoptive family if you have decided on a more open adoption. 

After you have given birth in the state of Missouri, you have 48 hours after the birth to can sign over consent. This means your parental rights are terminated, and then your child will legally belong to the adoptive family. Before this moment, you are still able to change your mind. But once you sign over consent, you no longer have parental rights. 

Putting your baby up for adoption is difficult. Therefore, if you need any emotional support after your baby goes home with the adoptive family, your local adoption agency is here for you. As you go on your own way, you can be proud and confident that you made the right choice for your baby. 

The Adoptee

For the adoptee, the main thing that seems to be on their mind is openness. They want to know who you are and where they come from. It is reported that many infant adoptions in the nation have a degree of openness. Only a small percent of adoptions are fully closed or confidential. Before the 1970s, most adoptions were closed. This stigmatized unplanned pregnancy as shameful and was thus kept hidden. But this is a false idea, and ever since the 1970s, studies have proven that open adoption is healthier for everyone involved. Especially the adoptee. 

A somewhat open-level adoption allows for contact between the birth family and the child. This means that the adoptive family and birth family can communicate by asking any questions to best care for the adoptee. Or maybe down the road, if the birth family and adoptive family have kept in touch (it is common to lose touch), then your child will be able to enjoy meetings with you and know you. However, these scenarios vary with each case. If there is a concern that adoptees may struggle with their identity, then it’s most important for full disclosure.

Additionally, if an adoptee wants to get to know their birth family and feel connected with them, that does not mean that they do not love their adoptive family. It is recorded that adopted children have similar, if not more advantageous, upbringings than their peers. Generally, when children are adopted, they are brought into homes with better-established opportunities. This can aid in their future success. 

Most importantly, adoptees are concerned with their rights. They have rights to their original birth certificate, citizenship, personal information, and history. Some adoptees have reported a lack of knowledge of their biological and medical history. Sometimes this information is lost, and it is a priority that they are allowed access to what is theirs. 

The Birth Mother and Adoptee

Ultimately, there does not seem to be hatred or anger within many adoptees’ psyches. Instead, they desire what everyone does, love and understanding. An adoptee might wish to know where they come from, and they value openness. If you want to “adopt out your baby,” a Missouri adoption may be your best option. Choosing adoption means choosing life and love for your baby. Ultimately, there is an underlying appreciation for the decision regarded by both the adoptive family and the adoptee. An adoptee may be able to heal and adapt healthily by knowing their past so they can move forward.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800.