Kate’s Story: A Birth Mother’s Perspective of Adoption
Katie’s Adoption Story
When Kate and her partner first discovered that she was pregnant, they knew that they weren’t ready to be parents. At the time, Kate did not know anything about adoption. Her only knowledge came from what she had seen on TV, where women who got pregnant out of wedlock would just move out of town and never talk about their pregnancy again.
However, after discovering she was pregnant, Kate talked with her grandmother, who happened to have a contact in the foster care system, and was able to provide her with information on adoption. In fact, the foster care worker had a brother and sister-in-law who were unable to have biological children. Kate was able to meet with the couple and decided that they could adopt her baby. While she wasn’t super excited about them, she knew her baby would be cared for and would have a large family.
Kate’s Journey to Healing
Kate notes that, at the time, adoption felt like her only option. She didn’t have anyone to advocate for her or explain the different types of adoption. “Knowing that we live five minutes away and that I have never received a picture or an update is really hard…” She said. “They probably never told him he was adopted.”
Furthermore, Kate admits that she dealt with her post-adoption emotions in a “very unhealthy manner.” That she became very self-destructive and disconnected after placing her baby for adoption. She felt as if she had to keep her adoption a secret and not talk about it. Thankfully, Kate has been in recovery since 2012 and has found healing through treatment and therapy.
Kate and Adoption Choices of Missouri
In addition to treatment and therapy, Kate has also found peace through working in the adoption field. She has now been the Executive Director of Adoption Choices of Missouri since January 2021, advocating for birth mothers daily, providing them with the information and resources that she wishes she had had when she placed her baby for adoption. She encourages birth mothers considering adoption by saying, “Find someone who will advocate for you. Find an adoptive family who is lined up with your belief and value system. This is your adoption plan — it’s ok to have a voice.”
Are you considering placing your baby for adoption but are worried or have questions? We are here to help! At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have so many amazing staff members who are ready to advocate for you and your baby.
Meet the Author: Grace Myers is a sophomore digital media major at North Greenville University. She loves writing and hopes to pursue a career in journalism or public relations after graduating.
An adoptee herself, Grace is passionate about writing for adoption. She especially loves hearing adoption stories and getting to know a variety of people.