Birth Mother Blog

A Guide For Life After Adoption

A Guide For Life After Adoption 

By Alexis Watson

You’ve been considering adoption for your child and have decided to move forward with the adoption process. You met with our counselors at Adoption Choices of Missouri after researching adoption in Missouri.  You told us about your unplanned pregnancy and your interest in adoption. We’ve guided you through the adoption process, helped you create an adoption plan and we finalized the adoption. Now what? You may be feeling a flux of emotions. You might be feeling a sense of happiness as you’ve secured the future for your child. You might also be feeling a sense of guilt as you might second guess if you’ve made the right decision. Both of those feelings, and everything in between, are normal. You are trying to navigate your life and emotions post-adoption. Our adoption experts at Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to help you manage life after adoption

You Finalized Your Adoption, But Aren’t Sure How You Feel

It is important that our birth mothers feel empowered after going through the life-altering adoption process. It is normal to be unable to clearly articulate your emotions once the adoption papers are signed and everything is finalized. You’ve decided you are giving child up for adoption, and now the process is done. You might be feeling a sense of emptiness. For the last several months, your mind has been wrapped around your unplanned pregnancy and the adoption process.  You might feel lost you don’t know what to do now that everything is done. You might be having a hard time deciding if you should go back to work or take some time off. You don’t want to act as if you didn’t just go through an emotional process. You also don’t want to rush your healing process. So you’re at an emotional standstill. All of this is normal.

Our birth mother often asks us, “What’s next?”. The first step is getting an understanding of how you feel. It is important to understand what you’re feeling and its impact. Our counselors at Adoption Choices of Missouri create a safe space for our birth mothers to communicate their feelings. We provide continued emotional support through counseling. Adoption in Missouri and beyond is a difficult process. Locating the right adoption agency is stressful. Considering adoption and finalizing adoption are both emotionally taxing processes. From beginning to end, we encourage our birth mothers like yourself to create and practice a self-care routine. We encourage this with the hopes that your self-care routine will become habitual. It is important that you are gentle on yourself throughout the adoption process, especially post-adoption

Coping Post-Adoption

Identifying your emotions, speaking with our counselors, and practicing a self-care routine are great coping mechanisms post-adoption.  It is important to discover healthy ways to cope with your decision. You shouldn’t feel shame or guilt for deciding to secure a future for your child. You should feel empowered, encouraged, and brave. Adoption is truly a difficult decision to make and you made it. You learned that you are able to handle and make difficult decisions. You should continue to learn new things about yourself. Learn new things such as life skills like gardening or farming. Try new interests such as crocheting, and mountain biking. Explore new ventures like starting the business you’ve been interested in or going to, or back to, school. Your life doesn’t have to stop at adoption

Parenthood Post Adoption

You might think that you shouldn’t be allowed to have a family post-adoption. You might be questioning your capabilities of loving your future children especially since you’ve placed your child up for adoption. You might feel guilty now that you are considering raising a family. These feelings, thoughts, and questions are very normal. Our birth mothers often contemplate all of the above. As they share their hopes and dreams for the future, our counselors are there listening, guiding and providing support. We encourage our birth mothers to act in their best interests. So if they choose to have a family in the future, we will support their decision. Here at Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are a judgment-free space for both pregnant women and birth mothers. We do not condone or tolerate hate or discrimination in any form.

Just because you have finalized your adoption process does not mean your parental journey is over. Parenthood is just that, a journey and adoption is one of the stops for many. 

Adoption does not mean:

  • You terminated your ability or choice of wanting to have children in the future. 
  • Adoption does not mean you have to stop living your life. 

Adoption does mean:

  • You have the option to make a decision in the best interest of your child. 
  • You are able to promise your child a future in which you’ve secured. 

Adoption is your choice and you should feel confident in making that choice. 

If you have an unplanned pregnancy, contemplated adoption, or need additional support during your adoption process, contact us today. Our adoption counselors at Adoption Choices of Missouri are waiting to hear from you. 

Birth Mother Blog

Misconceptions About Missouri Birth Fathers

Misconceptions About Missouri Birth Fathers

By Alexis Diamond

Though integral to the adoption process, birth fathers are often slighted when it comes to being properly recognized. We primarily hear of the struggles endured by the birth mother, but there is little heard of the birth father, which leads to stereotyping and harmful assumptions being created to fill in those cognitive gaps. While little is known about the truth of birth fathers’ experiences, resources exist to boost the public’s awareness. If you are pregnant considering adoption and want to learn more about the truth regarding birth fathers, then continue reading as adoption agencies such as Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to debunk these myths and misconceptions.

5 Misconceptions About Missouri Birth Fathers

For any person, giving a child up for adoption can be stressful, so if you are a woman considering adoption in Missouri and have worries regarding pre-existing misconceptions, continue reading to understand why these stereotypes hold no merits.

  • Birth Fathers Want No Involvement in the Adoption Process
  • Birth Fathers Are Uninvolved with Missouri Birth Mothers
  • Birth Fathers Provide No Support in the Missouri Adoption Process
  • Birth Fathers Are Unimportant in the Missouri Adoption Process
  • Birth Fathers Don’t Need the Same Support as the Birth Mother

Birth Father Misconception 1-2

  1. Birth Fathers Want No Involvement in the Adoption Process      

Though there are those who do not want involvement, all birth father’s are given the right to be involved in the adoption process. Options are available for the inclusion of all parties, which can include an open adoption, meaning that the birth father is granted the right to remain in the child’s life. It is important to recognize that though this stereotype exists, it should not affect the birth fathers who want to be a part of it. For those concerned, adoption agencies in Missouri will ensure that both the birth mother and father are aware of the rights they have and are well-informed through each step of the process.

  1. Birth Fathers Are Uninvolved with Missouri Birth Mothers

It is a common misconception that following an adoption, the birth father and mother separate. While there is the possibility of this happening, the decision lies between both partners, and does not always result in separation. Keeping this in mind is important when considering adoption options, especially in regards to open adoption in Missouri.

Birth Father Misconception 3-4

  1. Birth Fathers Provide No Support in the Missouri Adoption Process

Those considering adoption for my baby can understand the stress that can go into the adoption process. However, though it may be worrisome, it is essential that those involved are given the proper support needed through each step of their journey. It is commonly perceived that birth fathers do not support the birth mothers; however, this does not characterize all of them. There are many birth fathers who recognize that their responsibility is to care for the birth mother alongside themselves, and while there are those who choose not to provide support, there are plenty who do.

  1. Birth Fathers Are Unimportant in the Missouri Adoption Process

Referring back to the previous misconception, it is noteworthy that birth fathers are often tasked with caring and supporting the birth mother. This alone is a greatly important responsibility for birth fathers to take on. Alongside this, they also have the job of choosing adoption agencies and adoption families to avoid all of the stress being placed on the birth mother. Therefore, birth fathers are essential to the adoption process.

Birth Father Misconception 5

  1. Birth Fathers Don’t Need the Same Support as the Birth Mother

Emotionally, the adoption process can be very tasking. Though the birth mother needs counseling following the adoption, birth fathers also require the same care, but are often neglected. Unfortunately, they begin to feel that their emotions might need to take a backseat, which could contribute to this misconception; however, it’s important to recognize that both the birth father and mother both need counseling through the process.

Understanding the Truth About Missouri Birth Fathers and Dismissing the Misconceptions

Misconceptions that are widely spread can be hard to dismiss. It is unfortunate that they exist; however, resources such as those provided by Adoption Choices of Missouri work to inform others of the truth when faced with difficult situations such as an unplanned pregnancy. It’s important to keep in mind that many birth fathers would like to be involved in the adoption process, and though exceptions to this situation exist, they should not apply to all birth fathers.

If you are a birth mother who is pregnant considering adoption, reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri to help you through this process. We can assist through every step, and aid in the creation of an adoption plan. We can inform you of all options you have, and make the adoption process much easier. Contact us early at your earliest convenience if you have an unplanned pregnancy and we can help you discover the options you have moving forward.