Choosing an adoptive family for your child

Choosing the Adoptive Family You Want for Your Child

March 15, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Choosing the Adoptive Family You Want for Your Child

When a birth mother first starts looking for the right adoptive family, she should ask herself, What is most important to me about an adoptive family? Using that question as a guideline is key to figuring out what family works best for you when it comes to caring for your child.

The thing that comes easiest for birth mothers, if they are having some trouble finding the right adoptive family, is to match or align the values they possess with the respective adoptive family. If they reflect and share your wants and desires when it comes to raising your baby, that couple or individual might be the best fit for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri are going to share some tips or things birth mothers should consider if they find that choosing an adoptive family for your child is a bit challenging.

Open, Semi-Closed, or Closed Adoption with an Adoptive Family

This is usually the first of many steps birth mothers go through when they are choosing an adoptive family for your child. One of the first questions that will be asked is what type of adoption you’d like to have when it comes to you and your baby. Adoptive families also potentially have preferences, so it could be an easy match up when you find one that also shares that same desire.

The Adoptive Family’s Parenting Philosophy

There is no handbook on how to raise a child, let alone, raise an entire family. Of course, we have bits and pieces of guidance here and there, but it is a whole learning experience for every new parent — whether birth or adoptive. But if you have some idea or input on how you would like to see your child brought up, it could help narrow the search down when you are looking for adoptive families. There is no surefire way of parenting that guarantees positive results for you and your baby, but it is a good starting point for discussion.

Learning and talking to adoptive families on how they see the future of their newly connected family panning out can be a good eye opener on what their parenting style is. Pose questions to them like how they will discipline, what are some house rules they will enforce, or even ask them how they were raised themselves.

This is a great topic to bond over and an even greater opportunity to gain some insight on what the household lifestyle will look like.

The Adoptive Family’s Ethnicity

Race and ethnicity is not a barrier when it comes to raising a child who is not biologically yours. In fact, it is a bridge. It is a chance to look on the other side of things from a new perspective that you would have never had the chance to do otherwise. Choosing an adoptive family for your child is not one that should be held back in fear of picking a transracial adoptive family. The adoption community is a melting pot of people of all creeds, colors, and backgrounds. Our diversity is something that brings us closer together, not something separates us. If you see yourself placing your child in the care of a transracial adoptive family, it is best to do your research beforehand if you are unfamiliar with any cultural difference you may have.

Taking that time to educate yourself will definitely help in avoiding any awkward or misunderstood conversations when first speaking to your family. Race does not have to be a barrier, make it a bridge that links you to your chosen adoptive family.

The Adoptive Family’s Religion

There are so many things that go into our way of thinking, our belief system can have one of the greatest impacts. Our moral compass, ethics, right down to our social norms can be shaped by religion or, at the very least, influenced by it. It definitely can have its role to play when raising a child when it is looked to for guidance in uncertain situations. Faith is something many people around the world share, and quite many of them are passionate about it. There are some who even do not ascribe to any faith or religion that are passionate about keeping it that way as well.

Discussing something as important and weighty as this is a conversation that needs to be had between you and the adoptive parents you chose. In doing so, it will help shed light on your adoptive family’s choices. If you yourself feel you would like spirituality or some sort of religious influence to be kept in your baby’s life, finding adoptive families who match that will make the search easier. The same goes for if you want the opposite.

Are You Ready to Choose an Adoptive Family?

The road leading up to your finished adoption plan may seem like a long and arduous one, but it is rewarding. One filled with happiness for both you and your child.

For all things adoption find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan today.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in.

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning.

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”

Can I Change My Mind about Adoption in Missouri?

March 8, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Can I Change My Mind about Adoption in Missouri?

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows that the many decisions that are laid at the feet of birth mothers when they choose adoption can be overwhelming. There is so much riding on your decisions and your future plans for you and your baby.

As humans, we change our mind, we go back on past decisions or choose not to move forward with something. It is natural to second guess. For birth mothers, it is no different. You face so many unknowns alongside uncertainties that potentially will just stress you out.

Many of the questions birth mothers may have when first making their adoption plan is, “Can I change my mind about adoption?” We are going to shed some light on that question and provide some answers.

Can I Change My Mind about Adoption?

When considering adoption, it’s important to be mindful of your state’s rules and regulations regarding the relinquishing of your parental rights. You may only have a small window if you are thinking about changing your mind. However, this can greatly vary, depending on where you live. In Missouri, you can change your mind about your decision up until 48 to 72 hours after birth.

That said, it’s important to talk with your adoption agency if you start to have some apprehensions in moving forward with your adoption plan. It is totally natural to feel nervous. If you come to the conclusion that you no longer want to put your baby in the care of an adoptive family before any official documents, agreements, or signatures are exchanged, it is definitely a doable action.

However, from the moment you sign away your parental rights, you cannot change your mind about adoption. The same is true if you sign the relinquishment paperwork when you’re pregnant. Because of this, you should think carefully about what you believe is the best course of action and is within your means of doing.

Why would I Want to Change My Mind about Adoption?

Careful meditation and consideration is important when going back on your decision of adoption. We know all too well the massive range of emotions birth mothers may feel when they are faced with having to place their baby for adoption. It can be hard and emotionally draining. Feelings of regret, immense sadness, maybe even some amount of guilt or shame may be felt.

It’s easier said than done, but combating these emotions from clouding your judgement is imperative to making the right choice for you and your baby. You do not want to make the wrong decision that is based on the series of negative emotions you felt just in that moment.

One of the best ways to cope with this is to change your perspective in the situation if you see it as something that weighs heavy sadness on you. Seeing it as giving your baby a better shot at life, a brighter future, a linking between two families.

After Changing My Mind about Adoption, What Comes Next?

Whether it is during the pregnancy or after your baby is born, it is best to continue updating and coordinating with your adoption agency, even after you have reversed your decision in wanting to put your baby up for adoption. Moving forward, see how your situation has changed and why you chose to change your mind in the first place. What between now and then has caused your circumstances to shift in favor of keeping your baby and not wanting to place them with an adoptive family?

If you believe those changes are long-lasting, positive changes that you can maintain for you and your baby, it is wonderful that you want to be a parent and keep your baby.

For reassurance, even while pregnant or after the baby is born, nothing you can say or do fully commits you to adoption. Everything must be legally processed before any decisions become irrevocable. You are always in control of your own adoption plan, and that is something that cannot be taken away from you. The whole point of this is for you to make the decisions that work best for you and your child. Nothing should stand in the way of that.

The main points are to do extensive research so you and your adoption agency can stay informed with each other, meditate deeply and truthfully on what you want for yourself and your baby, and to be honest about the future you want for them.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan today.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Reasons to Consider Adoption in Missouri

March 1, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Reasons to Consider Adoption in Missouri

When pregnant, whether it be planned or unplanned, the birth mother has three options when it comes to her baby: terminate the pregnancy, parent the child or create an adoption plan so she can find the right adoptive family to raise her baby.

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows the challenges birth mothers may feel when they are faced with the many paths and decisions laid out before them. We’re going to give some reasons to consider adoption in Missouri and, hopefully, share some helpful insight along the way.

You may Not Be Ready to Be a Parent

Children are a big responsibility, and the undertaking parents go through can take its toll on the unprepared. One of the first reasons to consider adoption as a pregnant woman is because you may feel it’s not the right time in your life to commit to raising a child. There may be future aspirations that you have set in motion that would have to be put on hold if you were to have a baby right now. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to compromise your own happiness and goals.

Your life, along with your wants and desires, matters too, and it is okay to say you do not want to put them on the backburner.

You Don’t Want to Be a Mother Yet or At All

Especially in the cases of unplanned pregnancies, many birth mothers will realize they don’t want to be a mother, but do not wish to terminate their pregnancy. That choice is totally valid, and one that is to be admired. You do not see yourself as being a parent in the future, but you choose to carry your baby to full term, so that he or she can be raised by a loving adoptive family. Be it through closed adoption, semi-open adoption or open adoption, you gave your child the chance to have a healthy and happy upbringing.

Your Life may Not Be Where You Want it Right Now

Everyday, we go through so many struggles and life can sometimes throw us a curveball that makes those struggles even more challenging. It can come in the form of financial insecurity, family dysfunction, or maybe even job disparities. There are so many factors and variables out there that can weigh in your situation and give some really important reasons to consider adoption as a pregnant woman.

You may be in the middle of an emotional storm or sitting in a proverbial valley right now, where having a baby would not help your situation at all. Not only would it not help you as the birth mother, but it would also be potentially harmful to raise your baby in your circumstances. Wanting to give your child to a caring adoptive family so he or she doesn’t have to go through the same tribulations as you is a selfless decision. One that comes from a place of love, not selfishness.

You may Just Want Your Life to Be “Normal” Again

A baby will put everything on pause, no matter what it is. Before and after birth, they are your number one priority and they will let you know that from the start. Being pregnant can really send things into a spiral that most birth mothers may find overwhelming to deal with in that moment. It’s especially hard when she is facing it alone, having them think of reasons to consider adoption as a pregnant woman.

You want to be back in your comfort zone, back to where you felt you had control over the things happening in your life. It is not selfish to want this. It is not cruel to want to gain that sense of security back in your life.

Why are You Considering Adoption in Missouri?

Adoption agencies in MO are great pillars to lean and get help from. In fact, at our adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, our main priority is always you and your baby. We understand how you may experience the pain of having your life being shifted away from your own routine you felt comfortable with. That is a natural thing to feel and one that could be tough to cope with when in the midst of it. That’s why we have specialized adoption counselors on staff who can give you a private, safe and nonjudgmental space for you to process your thoughts and feelings and offer unplanned pregnancy help, so that you decide what’s best for you and your baby.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan today.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Important Facts to Know When You’re Considering Transracial Adoption for You and Your Baby in Missouri

February 22, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Important Facts to Know When You’re Considering Transracial Adoption for You and Your Baby in Missouri

One of the many foundations and values America prides itself on is diversity. The heritage the land is built on spans all across the continent and crosses the ocean into worlds we have yet to see.

Historically, transracial adoption was extremely rare and seen as a risky thing to do. The community, along with the rest of the world, has progressed greatly from those times and remembered the core value of adoption: family.

Love and family transcends all barriers of race and should not be a hindrance in the adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri welcomes birth mothers and families of all colors and backgrounds. If you are currently considering transracial adoption, we’re going to share some insight on what exactly transracial adoption is and hopefully provide some words of encouragement.

A Piece of History regarding Transracial Adoption

Firstly, let’s give it a definition: transracial adoption is the placement of a baby or child within a family of a different race/culture.

Take a moment to look with me back to the 1950s, the midst of the baby boomer era. Recall the old cartoons, emergence of the vintage fashion we celebrate today. Transracial adoption was virtually an unheard of thing and especially uncommon to see amongst the adoption community.

Around those times and progressing into the ‘60s, marking the civil rights movement, did transracial adoption really gain some traction.

Prior to the ‘60s, during the World War era, it was standard protocol to “race match” or simply place the child within an adoptive family of their same race. In the following decade, the number of transracial adoptions only peaked around 12,000. The shift was caused by several coalitions of both legal and community members who saw that children in need of families should not miss the opportunity of a better home simply because they were not “race matched.” It was identified that this disproportionately affected black children/children of color in particular. The number of transracial adoptions has increased by more than 50% in today’s time.

Transracial families and children of color being adopted outside their race is higher like never before.

Why is There a Stigma against Transracial Adoption?

The conflicts between race and oppression have a lifespan of several centuries, even after the apparent resistance and movements made to combat racism, there is still much work done to eradicate it.

Much of the stigma stems from knowing that having a transracial adoptive family comes with its unique set of challenges. For some, those challenges are too big to properly address or they do not have the necessary tools to handle it correctly. There are many out there who would object to placing a child into the care of a family that is of a different race or cultural background. The arguments for this mostly range that it is unfair and morally wrong to do such a thing because the child misses out on culture-distinguishing moments that they would normally find within their own racial communities.

The opponents of transracial adoption believe there are needs and race-specific care taking that only members of the same ethnic or culturally-matched group members can provide. To take those things away is to take away the tools needed to develop their identity.

Another issue also comes from potential criticism that a transracial family may face not only from members of their own racial community, but those outside of it as well. It can be awkward and, at the worst, dangerous for transracial adoptive families to be seen with a child of a different race because of perplexing or dirty looks they may encounter.

Even to this day, there are still debates and battles over it. There are those who feel strongly that it is detrimental to a child’s upbringing to be “race-matched” because it helps with their identity and it is simply the right thing to do. On the other side, it is believed that those tools are not forgotten and can still be passed along even if the race of the child is different from that of the parents.

Race is Not a Barrier, But a Bridge with Transracial Adoption

The truth of the matter is this, love for a child goes beyond skin color and heritage. It breaks down every man made wall that was put there and overcomes all forms of hatred or stigmatization placed on it.

When a birth mother chooses to place her baby for adoption, she does because it’s within the best interest of not only her baby, but for herself too. The most important thing throughout the whole adoption process is for the child to find a loving home so they can grow up happy and healthy.

If you are a birth mother who is thinking of choosing a transracial adoptive family for your baby, Adoption Choices of Missouri will provide you with all the information and resources you’ll need when you’re considering transracial adoption to help out. We’ve also passed along the benefits of transracial adoption to give further encouragement.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your own adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Benefits of Transracial Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

February 15, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Benefits of Transracial Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

Love is truly a rainbow. A spectrum of all colors and hues that the eye can see. It takes shape in many forms and sometimes can be found in the most unlikely of places. We will not deny that having a transracial adoptive family comes with its own set of unique obstacles and challenges, but the advantages and benefits from it make it all the more worth it.

Adoption Choices of Missouri has some insight on what makes transracial adoptive families so special, and the many, many rewards it offers to both child and birth mother.

Diversity is Important in a Home with Transracial Adoption

The world is such a colorful place. One filled with so many stories, traditions, and customs that are carried by the people in it. Exposure or in the least, acknowledgement of these differences in people helps broaden the mind of both your child and the transracial adoptive family you’ve placed him or her in the care of.

Be it in a closed or open adoption, there is an exchange of history and culture when a baby is placed in a transracial home. Everything from their skin color to how they walk, the clothes they wear, the music they listen to, is now added to your own life as well. When having this exchange of culture, you may have opportunities to broaden your own horizons on some things that you enjoy and, potentially, venture into new adventures.

A multiracial and multicultural home makes it all the easier to embrace those said differing traditions or customs. The early exposure of these differences is great for a child’s identity, and knowing that the world is so big and that the lives leading it are even bigger. It eliminates any possibility of developing stereotypes or prejudice when children learn about its beauty.

Those negative emotions being deterred are just one of many benefits of transracial adoption that both child and birth mother are given in the adoption journey.

Diversity in the Home Teaches Empathy with Transracial Adoption

It would be wrong to deny a child the conversation about race. It would be wrong to deliberately avoid the discussion that needs to be had in regard to racial or societal injustices that marginalized groups face on a daily basis. The challenges people have endured not only in our own community, but also around the world, is a lesson within itself that anyone can take and learn from.

Taking the time to acknowledge those struggles teaches you and your child that there are certainly some privileges others face that look like you, and they may be disadvantages to others who do not — and vice versa. Children are naturally curious and inquisitive. They want to know why things are the way they are. They want to know the history of things, and how they got to where they are now. The empathy comes when they are given the hard truth and stories of adversity marginalized groups have faced over the course of several years, and what those same groups are doing to improve their livelihood.

The benefits of transracial adoption not only challenges your perspective on how you see the world, but also opens doors in how you can positively impact those around you. The first step is educating yourself and learning the reality of things. When doing so, your empathy and understanding of that reality grows. You learn how to combat those same prejudices certain races and people face everyday.

Transracial Adoption Bridges and Networks Different Communities

One of the core foundations of a loving home and a pillar of the adoption community is unity. During the adoption process, birth mothers are reminded that they are the key in creating families. That they wield the power of putting their child in a loving and healthy home, even if it is not with them. Such a selfless act of love like that alone is enough to bring peoples and worlds together that were separate at one point.

You shatter and break the stigma of having multiracial homes and become part of the force to make it the norm, and not something to be feared. Placing your baby in a transracial adoptive family brings so many chances of new connections that you never would’ve thought of.

Those connections can be anything from trying different culturally available foods, experiencing and listening to different world wide artists from across the globe, or even taking the time to deep-dive into places outside of your own comfort zone. The benefits of transracial adoption gives so many chances to forge new links and make new relationships that reach different people.

The Benefits of Transracial Adoption

Do not be afraid to go beyond your own race when placing your baby into the care of another family. The bottom line, and the most important thing of all, is for your child to be raised happily and healthy. That’s what matters — not skin color.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Choosing a Transracial Adoptive Family in Missouri

February 8, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Choosing a Transracial Adoptive Family in Missouri

The love of family and community is a universal thing. it transcends all borders of color, creed, and background. For all adoption plans, the goal is for the perfect adoptive family to be found and chosen by the birth mother. Choosing a transracial adoptive family achieves that, bridges two families together, and creates an even larger circle for your baby.

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows parents will love their child unconditionally even if they don’t their skin color, culture, or traditions. We’re going to share some insight and encouragement for you if you are thinking of choosing a transracial adoptive family to care for your baby.

Research and Learn about the Transracial Adoptive Family’s Culture

Heritage or cultural norms do not have to be a road blocker, they can be a learning experience. Taking the time to learn about the customs they follow. It may seem a little awkward or even confusing at first, but the goal isn’t take their customs as your own, but to understand them. There’s even a chance you’ll find some inspiration to add to your own customs or traditions that you find interesting and helpful.

Again, the goal of learning about the adoptive family’s customs isn’t for you to take them over, but just to show respect in knowing about them, and avoiding any potentially disrespectful instances when you put your baby in their care.

It is a beautiful thing to learn of other ways of life outside your own, it can be an enriching experience and broadens your own little corner of the world that you know.

Acknowledge All Differences

There are so many underlying factors that can go into play when choosing a transracial adoptive family as a birth mother. When coming from a systemically privileged background, it can be hard to understand the daily struggles or challenges the counterpart may experience. The same goes vice versa. There is a middle ground that needs to be met to truly understand where everyone stands if true harmony and understanding is to be achieved between the two families.

Take the time to check your own privileges or comforts you have and possibly open a conversation with your transracial adoptive family on how theirs may differ. Having that conversation shows that you care about what they face in the world they live in, despite you possibly not facing the same obstacles they do.

This sentiment alone shows progress in being empathetic and giving genuine thought of what race or heritage has that sets you and their family apart. It is counterintuitive to ignore these differences and choose not to talk about them. No learning can be done, no understanding can be achieved, no exchange of traditions can be passed without a dialogue.

Have the courage to talk about race. Have the courage to talk about color. It can define us, but it does not need to divide us.

Pass Along Your Own Customs

Whether you choose to be in your baby’s life or not, it would do some good to give your prospective transracial adoptive family some insight into what cultural norms that were passed down to you that they can take pointers from when raising your child.

Not only will this be helpful for them when raising your child, but will also be helpful to your baby when in the future they develop their own identity. Having some reference or source to pull from is the stepping stone in helping them achieve that identity. Children are naturally inquisitive and will ask questions on where they come from, why people look like this, why people act like that, etc. It is damaging to ignore their need of that identity that comes with their race or heritage.

Giving some tips and sharing stories of your own upbringing can help be the starting point of guidance in your transracial adoptive family. They will appreciate not having to scour the internet for answers or dive into the unknown going in completely blind. Having some pre-knowledge beforehand will lessen the anxiety they may possess that they are not giving your baby what is needed for them to achieve a true status of identity.

No child deserves to miss out on opportunities to learn about what cultural background they come from. It connects us and it can be a bridge for them to connect to others as well.

Choosing a Transracial Adoptive Family as a Birth Mother

In the end, the bottom line is for your baby to grow up happy and healthy. Choosing a transracial adoptive family does not impede that. It is a step in the right direction if a birth mother trusts in her gut and is brave to choose a transracial adoptive family because she knows it is the right family for her baby. We are all human and all made of the same flesh and bones.

We are not weakened by our differences, but strengthened instead.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your plan today. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Adoption is Not Giving Up

February 1, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Adoption is Not Giving Up

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows all too well what birth mothers face when they first come to the decision that adoption is the best choice for her and her baby. The criticism she may face from family. How she could possibly be shamed for “giving up her baby.” That adoption is something to be ashamed of. It’s not an easy situation to be in, and it can be harmful to your mental health.

But, we want you to know that nothing could be further from the truth. Adoption is not giving up! It’s the exact opposite. What’s more, we’re going to encourage you and share with you exactly how!

Adoption Means You’re Putting Your Baby’s Needs Over Your Own

To truly care for another unconditionally, you have to want the best for them no matter the circumstances. For birth mothers, you know the sacrifices and heartache that comes with the realization you’re not the right person to raise your child. When you know what needs to be done. It is a bittersweet decision, but one you know will benefit both your and your baby.

You love your baby deeply. So much so that you have the willpower to place him or her in the care of an adoptive family, who you trust will love, care and support your child in the best ways possible. Your adoption plan is not an exit strategy or a way of giving up. Rather, it is one of the most loving gifts you could ever give.

Adoption Gives You and Your Baby a Chance at a Better Life

There are so many things to find joy in when a baby is given to an adoptive family or when a birth mother completes her adoption plan. Think of all the new possibilities and opportunities that can now be utilized. All the once closed doors have been reopened again! There’s so much potential for both you and your baby.

For many birth mothers, they just want to get back to their lives. They want the normalcy of their lives restored, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. It is human to want routine, safety, and clarity in our roles and lives. Some still have some living they would like to do before they fully commit to parenthood. Others may feel that parenthood is no longer a future desire they have. Both are valid reasons for choosing adoption.

Do not feel guilty for having ambitions or still having pursuits you’d like to pursue. You are no less of a person for having those wants, and it does not diminish your worth in any kind of way.

Adoption Allows Your Baby to Grow Up Happy and Healthy

When you connect your baby with an adoptive family of your choice, you are not giving up. You are creating a new family, and bridging yours and theirs together. To have a power such as that is not only a gift, but a great honor that should not be stigmatized or ridiculed in any sort of way.

The bottom line is for your baby to grow up happy and healthy. That is the most important thing and will always remain so.

No matter whether your adoption plan is closed or open, your baby still gets that hope of a better future and you have a huge weight of stress lifted off your shoulders.

There is So Much Love in Adoption

We know your struggles and testimonies. We know how overwhelming it all can be in the beginning. But, nonetheless, every birth mother rises and pushes to get the resources she and her baby need to succeed in life. The challenges she faces, whether it be from family, friends, or maybe even some emotional obstacles, will undoubtedly take their toll. In the end, she is always supported by her adoption agency of choice and is carried by her support system.

The inner workings that go into adoption choices and plans are so full of love and community, it is hard to picture it as something cruel. Adoption is not giving up or giving your baby away. It is giving your baby another chance. It is giving yourself another chance. This is why every year National Adoption Day is celebrated. Why there are leaders and luminaries who come together to support this special occasion. This is why all people of faith, color, and background have stories to tell about their own adoption.

Adoption is Not Giving Up

With so much diversity and a sense of togetherness, it is hard to see adoption as a way of “giving up your baby” or even “giving your baby away.” No. Adoption is one of the most ultimate of sacrifices that comes out of love and longing for your child to have a better shot at life.

This is not something to shame birth mothers for, but it is one that deserves praise. Adoption, and your decision to place your baby for adoption, deserves the time and space to be recognized as a choice borne out of heroism, not guilt.

Be encouraged, be brave. For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan today.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Placing You Baby for Adoption as an Incarcerated Birth Mother in Missouri

January 26, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Placing You Baby for Adoption as an Incarcerated Birth Mother in Missouri

In life, we go through many challenges. Some greater than others, some that even make us stronger. Even through those tribulations, a child always deserves the chance at a good life and greater shots at success.

If you are an incarcerated birth mother who feels hopeless in the endeavor of giving their baby an adoptive family, know that all is not lost. Adoption Choices of Missouri is going to share with you what steps we will take in getting your child on the way to a healthy and happy life.

Choosing Adoption from Prison or Jail

Placing your baby for adoption as an incarcerated birth mother, there are few steps and processes we have to go through. Depending on your sentence or duration of your incarceration, these steps may seem far reaching. Yet, know that hope is not all lost and there is always a way.

One of the first things that needs to be done is for a discussion with your caseworker or a prison official who can give some information on what options lie before you when you have arrived at the decision to put your baby up for adoption.

These options can range from possibly putting your baby in the care of a close relative for the time being if you are serving a short sentence and would like them to be within family’s reach, to even coordinating with social services to see if foster care is an option. Another option, of course, would be to consider adoption. Communication and research is key to finding out what you can do to give your baby a better shot at life.

Keeping your options open may help take a bit of your stress away, and give you time to carefully research each one before making a final decision.

Contact an Adoption Agency in Missouri

Placing your baby for adoption as an incarcerated birth mother can have many variables that are dependent on the conditions of your sentence and the length in which you are serving. If you are not incarcerated, but due to circumstances will be in the future, it’s best to contact an adoption agency before you carry out your sentence.

For birth mothers who are already in prison, contacting a family member or a trusted friend who can work with your attorney to get an adoption agency and coordinate with them is how the process will first begin. If you are not able to get in contact with a family member or for some reason are denied by your attorney, don’t give up! Speak with your caseworker and have them do some research on whatever options are there for you and your baby.

When finally given an adoption agency, like Adoption Choices of Missouri, you will be assigned an adoption caseworker who will be with you every step of the way to help you set up your adoption plan. Their duties involve: answering any questions you may have, alleviating any fears or anxieties you possess, and providing every ounce of support they can give overall, so your baby can be on the road to a better life and you have a weight lifted off your shoulders.

Finalizing Adoption from Jail or Prison

You have gone through all the screenings, had conversations and meetings with many adoptive families who are hopeful in raising your child. Over the course of many tries, you find the adoptive family who fits best! What will happen now

The choices ahead of you, again, can be variable based on the situation of your sentence and what placement and parameters are implemented by prison regulation. Health and prenatal care will be given because it is crucial to a healthy delivery, and of course, your baby will be born in a hospital. After your baby is born, you can still be a bit uncertain on what exactly your life and connection with them will look like.

Keep in mind, throughout every phase, our adoption agency and your assigned adoption caseworker will make sure you know the terms of your adoption plan and what to expect for you and your child throughout your adoption journey.

If you’re serving a long and high-security level sentence, contact with your child and their adoptive family may be limited. If you want to stay in contact with them, this can be done with letters or maybe even short phone call sessions where you can speak with your child directly or the adoptive family. The amount of contact you have will be determined by prison regulation.

Placing You Baby for Adoption as an Incarcerated Birth Mother

Being an incarcerated pregnant woman considering adoption is a selfless, brave and loving act that will never be punished. Your adoption journey while in jail or prison may have its challenges, but it is certainly not impossible and will be one of the most rewarding decisions you ever make.

If you or a loved one are in this situation, contact us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

How to Involve Your Family in Your Adoption Plan

January 25, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

How to Involve Your Family in Your Adoption Plan

We’ve all heard the phrase, “it takes a village to raise a family,” and it is a true statement. Children are one of the greatest responsibilities, along with one of the greatest rewards, any family or parent could ever have.

We all need a good support system in our lives, and, for many, it can come from trusted family members.

Adoption Choices of Missouri is going to share some tips on how you can involve your family in your adoption plan.

Show Your Family the Adoptive Family You Chose

Screening and venting through numerous prospective adoptive families can get a little overwhelming sometimes. Going through all the choices and options may even become tiring. So, a couple of fresh pairs of eyes could exactly be what you need to help figure what adoptive family is exactly right for you and your baby!

Even if you decide that maybe you don’t want their input, you can still show and present the decisions that lead up to you making your adoptive family choice. Taking ownership and showing pride in what you’re doing opens up an opportunity for them to ask questions and help them understand.

Take the Time to Educate Your Family about Adoption

For many birth mothers, making the final decision to give their baby up for adoption has the potential to severely weigh on them. Involving your family in your adoption plan, and breaking down the steps and processes, brings them in as additional support. Some birth mothers may find it awkward at first, or even hard to explain, but patience and perseverance are key in this.

Your family will appreciate you taking the time to educate and tell them all the necessary ins and outs of adoption. They will see the sentiment behind your actions and will thank you for it. Pointing them in the direction of the same resources you found and received will help paint a clearer picture for them on why you chose your adoption choice in the first place.

Helping them understand could also lead them to assist another birth mother who is in need of help somewhere else

Build an Open Channel of Communication with Your Family

No one’s family is perfect. We all know the challenges we face when talking with our relatives or close household members. Ideally, we want our family to be accepting of all the hard decisions we have to make and have them give us unwavering love at every turn. But, in some cases, family can disapprove and even shun birth mothers when the discussion of adoption is presented. Though it is unfortunate, it is not impossible to handle and possibly not impossible to convince them that adoption is the best course of action for you and your baby.

When finding yourself in this situation, know that not all hope is lost. There’s always something to be said to better their understanding or even a chance to shift their perspective. Creating the space and time where you all can speak freely and discuss your feelings about the adoption will help in the endeavor to clear the air between you all.

Learning how to involve your family in your adoption plan can seem pointless when they already seem against you, but the harder you fight for it, the closer you both will be to understanding each other. Family can be a huge pillar of support for you when first going through the motions of the adoption plan,a few disagreements do not have to end the relationship you have with them.

Remind Them that They are Still Your Family

No matter the circumstances, no matter what happens or the choice you make in the end, your loved ones and family are still that village you can rely on. Even with your child being put into the care of an adoptive family, it does not diminish the family value they hold with you and them. Encourage them to see it as an extension and not separation. When birth mothers give their baby to adoptive families, she increases her child’s support circle. She creates an even bigger village than she initially had before establishing her adoption plan.

With this type of thinking, your family will be more welcoming of the change and will see it as an addition instead of a subtraction. Adoption is not meant to tear people apart, but to create new families and set the stage for a better life for your baby and give them an even brighter future.

Involving Your Family in Your Adoption Plan

Even with knowing how to involve your family in your adoption plan, the work does not end there. It’s now time for you all to move forward as a unit, so that you not only support your child during the adoption process, but also support you through the transition.

For all things adoption, find and contact us here and let’s get started on your plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

What is the Difference between infant Adoption and Newborn Adoption?

January 18, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

What is the Difference between infant Adoption and Newborn Adoption?

If you have decided to place your baby up for adoption, you may come across two terms in your research that you’re not familiar with — infant adoption and newborn adoption. You also may see these terms used interchangeably, adding to the confusion. But not to worry.

Adoption Choices of Missouri is a local adoption agency here to help! We are going to share with you the difference between infant adoption and newborn adoption, so that you can have a deeper understanding of how each could impact your adoption journey.

What is Infant Adoption?

Infant adoption is when a birth mother decides to place her baby for adoption before the baby is born. She can choose to do this at any point in her pregnancy; although, sooner is always better. This allows her time to create her adoption plan, choose the adoptive parents and get to know them before the birth depending on how much communication she wants to have after the adoption has been finalized.

If you are currently facing an unplanned pregnancy and have decided that adoption is the best option, infant adoption would be a great thing for you to consider. We understand that you may be experiencing an overwhelming amount of emotions, and that choosing adoption when you’ve just discovered that you’re pregnant is not easy; but, remember this. There is no shame in wanting to give your baby a better life. There is nothing wrong with admitting you’re not in a place where you can provide for your child. Adoption provides your child with a loving, supporting adoptive family and everything you’re unable to. So, you can be sure that he or she will be well taken care of.

What is Newborn Adoption?

With newborn adoption, you may be in the middle of giving birth or already trying to parent your baby at home. Perhaps you felt too overwhelmed to make a plan, or you thought that you were ready to raise a child. But then, whether in the hospital or caring for a new baby at home, you changed your mind. Whatever your circumstances, newborn adoption is there to provide you with an excellent solution.

Just like with infant adoption, you will still get to create an adoption plan, choose what type of adoption is best for you and select the adoptive parents. However, you may find the adoption process to be a bit more expedited. This is just to ensure that both you and the baby are well taken care of in a shorter amount of time, since he or she is most likely already born. If you are looking for a quick adoption with little to no strings attached, our adoption agency can choose a pre-screened adoptive family for you. It’s all completely up to you and your comfort level.

The Difference Between Infant Adoption and Newborn Adoption

As outlined above, the biggest difference between infant and newborn adoption is the timing. Each option presents soon-to-be birth mothers with appropriate options that will accomodate you, no matter your circumstances. If you feel like you need more time to prepare — physically, emotionally and mentally — infant adoption would be a good option to consider. If, however, you are confident in your decision and want a fast adoption at the hospital, or you change your mind at the last minute, our adoption agency is here to help you with newborn adoption.

There is no right or wrong decision between the two. You will have full control over your adoption journey no matter what. Your baby will be placed in a caring and loving adoptive family either way and provided with a better and brighter future. Nothing happens without your approval and the green light to move forward. At the end of the day, it’s completely up to you what you want to do.

Which is Right for You: Infant Adoption or Newborn Adoption?

Adoption is a wonderful option to choose if you are not in a place where you can or can raise your child. Every baby deserves a chance at a great life and given every opportunity to grow. We hope that this resource has given you more insight into the difference between infant adoption and newborn adoption, and how each can impact your adoption journey. Both provide you with plans that keep the best interests of you and your baby in mind.

No matter what you decide, infant and newborn adoption guarantee that your baby will find a loving home, and that you will have peace of mind and confidence that you made the right choice. Through your selflessness and bravery, you can create families and bring happiness to those who are looking for it.

For contact and all things adoption, navigate here to reach us.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

1 2