Birth Mother Blog

How to Cope With A Changing Open Adoption in Missouri 

How to Cope With A Changing An Open Adoption in Missouri 

Adoption is never an easy process and can be emotionally straining on some mothers, especially if you’re having your first ever child. However, Adoption Choices of Missouri tries to make it as smooth of a process as possible, even when you are changing an open adoption in MO. After considering adoption as the best route for you and your child, you might be wondering about the different options within adoption. There are several steps to take and several decisions to make before deciding the best option for you. In the end, the choice is entirely up to you and what you feel is best for you and your child long term.

What Are My Adoption Choices?

In Missouri, there are three types of adoptions: open, semi-open, and closed adoptions. Open adoptions are when the birth mother remains in contact with the adoptive parents and the child. Semi-open adoption is another option that is not as open because the communication between the birth mother and adoptive parents is handled through a third party such as the adoption agency or an attorney. However, the birth mother has contact with the child. The last option with adoption is a closed one where the birth mother has no contact whatsoever with the adoptive family, and the adoptive family knows little to no information of the birth mother. 

Although open Adoption in MO is becoming increasingly popular, there are a few concerns that come along with it. The main concern is that it can change, meaning that at any point in time, the amount of openness can change whether it is mutually agreed upon or not. There is typically no hardcopy documentation, and it is only a mutual agreement between the birth parents and adoptive parents. 

How to Choose The Adoption Option Best for Me

When considering all of your options, be thinking about yourself first and your baby second. Be thinking about the types of boundaries you would want to set between yourself and the adoptive parents. Do you believe that you would be emotionally stable to have open communication with your child after giving it up? There are no wrong options when it comes to this decision because it is entirely up to you. We at Missouri Adoption want to help you make an informed decision, and we are open 24/7 if you are ever in need of immediate help. 

There are pros and cons to each option.  Open adoption offers you an emotional connection with your child and lasting relationships with the birth family.  You are able to see your child grow and sustain a healthy relationship with them along the way. However, down the road, the openness could change without warning, and boundaries become stricter. It can be emotionally difficult as well, knowing the adoptive parents and seeing someone else raise your child.

Coping With An Open Adoption

Pregnancy is already a stressful enough situation, and we at Adoption Choices of Missouri want to make it easier on you, the birth mother. After deciding to go through with the adoption process and choosing the plan best for you and your child, you might be relieved of stress, or more worried. It can be worrisome to wonder if you made the right choice or not. Believe in your choice and that you probably made it under well-informed circumstances. 

If you have chosen open adoption, you might be thinking to yourself: what will happen if the adoptive parents all of a sudden reduce the openness? What happens to the relationship between me and my child? While these are valid questions, there is not much that can be done on your end since you signed over your rights as a birth mother. However, there are ways to cope with such changes. Consider that the adoptive parents are doing it in the child’s best interest, and they are only trying to make the child more comfortable. Open adoption can be difficult for all parties involved, and it can make it harder for the child to assimilate to his or her new family. Upon further thinking, if nothing seems to be making sense, reach out to us at Adoption Choices of Missouri so we may help you gain contact if that is necessary.

The choice of a Missouri adoption process and the different options you can choose from is all up to you. We are here to help inform you of those options and guide you through the process, but we cannot make the decision for you. We can make recommendations and give you exterior connections, but at the end of the day, the choice is yours. If you choose an open adoption, be aware of the pros and cons. Understand that the decision to have an open adoption affects not only you, the birth mother, and the adoptive parents, but also the child as well. No choice is the wrong choice because everyone’s situation is different, so all you can do is make a well-informed choice.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800


Meet the Author: Gabriella Dobson was born and raised in Ohio. She is currently a senior at Miami University majoring in professional writing with a focus on editing. She also minors in criminology and general business. She is a skilled barista and enjoys sipping her coffee with a good book in her hand. She is passionate about helping others and making a difference in the lives around her. With her involvement in St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and Women Helping Women, she is able to provide resources for those in need of support.