Adoptive Family Birth Mother Blog

Gift-Giving and Adoption in Missouri

Gift-Giving and Adoption in Missouri

The Christmas season is filled with the spirit of giving. If you’re involved in an open or semi-open adoption, you may be wondering how to approach gift-giving and adoption without crossing any boundaries. Gift-giving can be a very personal, meaningful way to express your gratitude for someone and let them know that they are special to you. However, giving a gift that goes too far or doesn’t display any effort can be somewhat offensive. Adoption Choices of Missouri has counseled hundreds of birth mothers and adoptive parents before and wants to help you understand how to give good gifts this Christmas. Here are some ideas of what to give and what not to give to the various people involved in your adoption this Christmas season. 

Gift-Giving Ideas for Your Child After an Adoption

As a birth mother you might want to give your child a gift this Christmas, here are a few tips. Before you buy your child a gift, you should check with the adoptive parents and figure out what budget they have for Christmas presents. Trying to buy your child a more expensive or elaborate gift than the adoptive parents is not a great way to maintain a good relationship with them. Instead, work out a budget with the parents and base your gift on that. You may want to get your child a gift that reflects your heritage so that they have an item that will remind them that a part of them will always be connected to you. You could also get them a gift that follows a theme so that in years to come, they will have a collection of special items that they can clearly link back to you. Some examples of theme gifts could be an ornament, a stuffed animal, or a board game. Try not to give your child any gifts that might conflict with what their adoptive parents allow or agree with, such as religious items or media that might be controversial. Overall, be thoughtful with the gift that you choose, and deliver it in a way that aligns with the adoption plan you agreed upon with the adoptive parents. 

Thoughtful Gift Ideas for The Adoptive Parents

If you are a birth mother, you may wish to provide the adoptive parents with a gift to express your gratitude or just to show you care about them. Just like with your child, make sure you don’t send them anything that could be considered offensive or contradict their personal beliefs. Giving a gift to the adoptive parents isn’t always appropriate in certain relationships, but it can be very meaningful if you have a good relationship with them. You don’t need to splurge on them in order to “earn” their approval. The gift you choose for them should just be something that expresses your gratitude for them and will let them know that you’re thinking of them during the holidays. If you don’t feel like you can get them a gift, you could consider writing them a thoughtful letter instead. Giving gifts this Christmas should only be done out of care and gratitude rather than obligation or insecurity. 

What Can I GiveThe Birth Mother as a Holiday Gift?

If you’re the adoptive parents, giving a gift to the birth mother might be something that you wish to do this Christmas. If you have a good relationship with the mother and wish to let, her know that you’re thinking of her, sending a gift is a meaningful way to express this. As before, make sure that the gift won’t come across as rude or offensive, and don’t try to overwhelm her with a gift that might make her feel insecure about whatever she got you (if you’re exchanging presents). You could consider asking her what she might need or want so your gift will be utilized well. Buying a personalized gift may show her that you gave her present some thought. 

Have a Merry Christmas from Adoption Choices of Missouri

Christmas time isn’t meant to be stressful, so only give a gift if you want to and know it will be appreciated. Adoption Choices of Missouri hopes that these tips will guide you as you determine what type of gift to give. If you’re facing unplanned or teen pregnancy, please reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri. We will seek to assist you as you decide whether or not to place your baby for adoption.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

KylaMeet the author: Kyla’s life has been filled with adventure and transition – both good and difficult. She loves to take on challenges head-on and lead an organized and balanced life. She’s passionate about many different areas and loves how writing gives her the flexibility to engage in research of almost every field of study imaginable. She grew up very involved in theater and music and continues to use her free time to play the piano and sing. However, she is also very interested in how the natural world works and takes any chance she has to spend the day away from crowds, enveloped in the seclusion of nature. Growing up in the Philippines, she’s had some unique experiences that have shaped her worldview and given her a deeper understanding and appreciation for different cultures. She gets excited about research papers, completed to-do lists, and her morning coffee.