Fears Birth Mothers Have Through the Adoption Process

By Miranda Frank

Choosing adoption can be difficult, and it’s completely normal for birth mothers to have fears and worries along the way. If you are starting your adoption journey, you might not know what to expect, and that uncertainty can create very real fear. Even considering adoption for your baby can be intimidating. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to provide some insights, support, and reassurance. Your fears and concerns are valid, and we understand that putting a child up for adoption involves very complicated decisions. Our team is committed to supporting birth mothers through adoption, providing whatever support and resources you need.

I am afraid of loneliness and judgment

One common fear among birth mothers is that they will be judged by others for their decision to place their child for adoption. You may fear facing criticism or being labeled as “unfit” or “selfish” by those who don’t fully understand your circumstances. Some people still believe that putting a child up for adoption is something to be ashamed of, but that is completely untrue. If this is a concern of yours, it is important to focus on your own motivations and desires. Take the time to understand your decision and feel comfortable with it. This will allow you to separate that choice from those outside voices. 

If you are looking for outside support, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help as well. Members of our team will be there for you throughout your adoption journey to listen and support you. You will be paired with a birth parent counselor who will be there with you through the process. The adoption process can feel like an isolating experience, but you can always find a listening ear with us. 

I am afraid of the financial burden of pregnancy and adoption

All the costs of pregnancy, medical care, transportation, and even housing might seem overwhelming. Adoption Choices of Missouri offers financial support for some pregnancy-related expenses based on your needs. This is another aspect of adoption you will discuss with your adoption counselor. Consider your needs during this time, and maintain clear communication with your counselor to see how you can be supported. 

I am afraid of regretting my decision

Birth mothers may experience fear of regretting their decision to place their child for adoption in the future. They may worry about the emotional impact it may have on them and the grief and loss associated with adoption. It is important that you take time to heal and rest after birth and the adoption. Acknowledge the stress of the process, and own what has been difficult. By accepting and acknowledging any pain or emotional difficulty, you can move through whatever grieving process you need to heal. If you give your decision careful thought and own the loss you experience, you can feel more assurance in your choice. Regret is natural, but if you are confident in your decision, it may only be temporary.

I am afraid of having no control over the adoption process

There may be a fear of losing control over the child’s life and well-being. You may worry about whether the adoptive family will provide the love, care, and opportunities you desire for your child. There may even be fear that you will no longer have a say in your child’s upbringing and future. When you decide to place your baby for adoption, your adoption plan becomes the guideline for that process. When developing this plan, make sure you communicate these fears and what you want for your child. Your desires will be carefully taken into account in this plan.

This will become a guide for the type of home your child will have. You will also have the opportunity to learn more about prospective adoptive parents to ensure that they meet your criteria. Adoption Choices of Missouri can work with you to make sure that your child will be raised in a home you approve of. While giving a child up for adoption might feel like losing some control, know that your desires will be respected.   

If you are considering adoption in Missouri, Adoption Choices of Missouri has been providing support to pregnant women in Missouri for many years. Reach out to us by call, text, or through our site, and tell us all about your concerns. No matter what your situation is, we are here to understand and to help.