Choosing the Adoptive Family You Want for Your Child
When a birth mother first starts looking for the right adoptive family, she should ask herself, What is most important to me about an adoptive family? Using that question as a guideline is key to figuring out what family works best for you when it comes to caring for your child.
The thing that comes easiest for birth mothers, if they are having some trouble finding the right adoptive family, is to match or align the values they possess with the respective adoptive family. If they reflect and share your wants and desires when it comes to raising your baby, that couple or individual might be the best fit for you.
Adoption Choices of Missouri are going to share some tips or things birth mothers should consider if they find that choosing an adoptive family for your child is a bit challenging.
Open, Semi-Closed, or Closed Adoption with an Adoptive Family
This is usually the first of many steps birth mothers go through when they are choosing an adoptive family for your child. One of the first questions that will be asked is what type of adoption you’d like to have when it comes to you and your baby. Adoptive families also potentially have preferences, so it could be an easy match up when you find one that also shares that same desire.
The Adoptive Family’s Parenting Philosophy
There is no handbook on how to raise a child, let alone, raise an entire family. Of course, we have bits and pieces of guidance here and there, but it is a whole learning experience for every new parent — whether birth or adoptive. But if you have some idea or input on how you would like to see your child brought up, it could help narrow the search down when you are looking for adoptive families. There is no surefire way of parenting that guarantees positive results for you and your baby, but it is a good starting point for discussion.
Learning and talking to adoptive families on how they see the future of their newly connected family panning out can be a good eye opener on what their parenting style is. Pose questions to them like how they will discipline, what are some house rules they will enforce, or even ask them how they were raised themselves.
This is a great topic to bond over and an even greater opportunity to gain some insight on what the household lifestyle will look like.
The Adoptive Family’s Ethnicity
Race and ethnicity is not a barrier when it comes to raising a child who is not biologically yours. In fact, it is a bridge. It is a chance to look on the other side of things from a new perspective that you would have never had the chance to do otherwise. Choosing an adoptive family for your child is not one that should be held back in fear of picking a transracial adoptive family. The adoption community is a melting pot of people of all creeds, colors, and backgrounds. Our diversity is something that brings us closer together, not something separates us. If you see yourself placing your child in the care of a transracial adoptive family, it is best to do your research beforehand if you are unfamiliar with any cultural difference you may have.
Taking that time to educate yourself will definitely help in avoiding any awkward or misunderstood conversations when first speaking to your family. Race does not have to be a barrier, make it a bridge that links you to your chosen adoptive family.
The Adoptive Family’s Religion
There are so many things that go into our way of thinking, our belief system can have one of the greatest impacts. Our moral compass, ethics, right down to our social norms can be shaped by religion or, at the very least, influenced by it. It definitely can have its role to play when raising a child when it is looked to for guidance in uncertain situations. Faith is something many people around the world share, and quite many of them are passionate about it. There are some who even do not ascribe to any faith or religion that are passionate about keeping it that way as well.
Discussing something as important and weighty as this is a conversation that needs to be had between you and the adoptive parents you chose. In doing so, it will help shed light on your adoptive family’s choices. If you yourself feel you would like spirituality or some sort of religious influence to be kept in your baby’s life, finding adoptive families who match that will make the search easier. The same goes for if you want the opposite.
Are You Ready to Choose an Adoptive Family?
The road leading up to your finished adoption plan may seem like a long and arduous one, but it is rewarding. One filled with happiness for both you and your child.
For all things adoption find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan today.
Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800
Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in.
Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning.
From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”