Birth Mother Blog

Can I Choose The Adoptive Family For My Child?

Can I Choose The Adoptive Family For My Child?

By Alexis Watson


An unplanned pregnancy can be an emotionally overwhelming discovery. Having to place a child up for adoption can also be an emotionally traumatic experience. However, birth mothers should feel some comfort in knowing they have the right to choose their adoptive family. Birth mothers can choose an adoptive family that aligns with their personal beliefs and morals. They can choose an adoptive family that will raise their child with similar values. They also have the right to choose the level of communication they want with their adoptive family. It’s important that birth mothers find the right adoption agency that will guide them through the adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri is a local adoption agency in Missouri helping birth mothers with their unplanned pregnancies. We provide services such as safety assistance, medical aid, and emotional support. If eligible, we also help with basic living expenses and other financial needs. 

What Is The Best Type Of Adoption For Me? 

Deciding whether you want an open, semi-open, or closed adoption is important. Your choice of adoption type matters and is included in your adoption plan. You will either meet the adoptive family or let the adoption counselor handle the entire process. The choice is yours. No matter what, you as the birth mother have the right to choose your adoptive family. Choosing the type of adoption you want will decide the relationship you have with the adoptive family and child.


  1. Open Adoption: Not only are birth mothers front and center when choosing the adoptive family, but they maintain a relationship post-adoption. Birth mothers and the adoptive family communicate regularly and as often as they like. Birth mothers are also in close contact with the child as they grow. 
  2. Semi-Open Adoption: This type of adoption is on a ‘need-to-know basis’ in regard to the development of the child. The birth mother will only get important life updates of the child. The communication with the adoptive family is based on important happenings in the child’s life. 
  3. Closed Adoption: The birth mother’s records are sealed and there is no communication whatsoever with this type of adoption. The birth mother doesn’t know the adoptive family and the adoptive family doesn’t know the birth mother. 


Whether you choose open, semi-open, or closed adoption, you have a choice. You have the right to choose the adoptive family for your child. The process of adoption in Missouri is complex, but as the birth mother it’s important to know your rights. Your adoption counselors at Adoption Choices of Missouri will help you guide you through the entire adoption process.

What Are Things To Consider When Choosing The Adoptive Family?

When choosing your adoptive family it is important to know what are some of your beliefs and morals. Understanding this will help in choosing the adoptive family. Ensuring that your child is raised by a family that holds the same values and beliefs can help emotionally.  Some things and questions to decide on and consider are: 


  1. Lifestyle: What is your ideal family structure? One parent; two? Are you open to the idea of a same-sex parent household? Do you want your child raised in the country, in a city, or in the suburbs? Consider some of the hobbies you want your adoptive family to have. Think about what you want their interests to be.
  2. Values: Is religion a deciding factor for you? If so, do you want the adoptive family to practice the same religion as you? Is cultural heritage important to you? Do you want the adoptive family to be a part of your culture and hold their heritage close? Consider what parenting philosophies you want the adoptive family to have. Think about what you want their parenting style to be when handling sensitive topics such as education, sex, and politics.
  3. Communication and openness: How do you want the adoptive family to communicate with you? Do you prefer video calls for major decisions? Are daily phone calls too much? Would you like to be considered when medical decisions need to be made? Consider how you want the adoptive family to communicate with your child as well. Think about how you want the adoptive family to hear and communicate with your child.


It’s important that you self-reflect on these questions and determine their level of importance to you. This is your chance to craft and pick the perfect family to raise your child. Be as selective as you’d like. 

Adoption Resources For Me

Adoption in Missouri can be a very easy process with the right agency. Researching adoption agencies near me will flood your device with hundreds of options However, you want to be as selective with choosing your adoption agency as you are with choosing the adoptive family. 

If you are pregnant and need help contact us, Adoption Choices of Missouri. Our adoption experts are trained counselors waiting to help guide you through the adoption process. Our counselors will ensure that you feel supported every step of the way. They will connect you to our team of resources and adoption network. They will also determine your eligibility to receive additional financial assistance. Give us a call today. We are here to help.