Birth Mother Blog

I’m Pregnant and In an Unstable Relationship, Can I Choose Adoption?

I’m Pregnant and In an Unstable Relationship, Can I Choose Adoption?

By Nicholas Rodinos

Unhealthy relationships are far too common, and it’s only complicated when women face unplanned pregnancies while in bad relationships. Many birth mothers flee harmful relationships to ensure the safety of themselves and their children. Some of these birth mothers feel they’re not ready to care for children, especially after escaping unstable relationships. These women often look to adoption agencies if they cannot raise their children. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri provides support to birth mothers experiencing unplanned pregnancy, teen pregnancy, and unstable relationships. It’s okay to seek help, especially in complicated cases such as these, and allow our agency to support you. Our agency can provide you with financial support, medical care, housing, transportation, adoption planning, and counseling.

What Happens When You Seek Adoption in Missouri

  • The first step of the adoption process is contacting our agency so that we can help you. 
  •  An adoption coordinator will listen to your situation and provide you with options and control over the adoption process. 
  • You and the adoption coordinator will discuss your relationship and your needs regarding support, medical care, transportation, and housing. 
  • The adoption coordinator will take you to a doctor to ensure you receive proper prenatal care.
  • Your coordinator will ask about which type of adoption plan you’re seeking (open, semi-open, closed). 
  • The adoption coordinator will ask you what qualities you want from adoptive parents and search for candidates that match. 
  •  You’ll meet the adoptive parents and determine if they’re right for your baby.
  •  The adoption coordinator will help you create a birth plan, determining your needs during the birth.
  • You’ll receive some post-placement care through our Missouri adoption agency. This includes post-adoption counseling and financial support.

Is the Birth Father’s Consent Required for the Adoption Process?

Laws regarding adoption in Missouri allow birth fathers the same rights over the adoption process as the birth mothers. Our agency can try to remove his parental rights if you have proof that the birth father is abusive. Your adoption counselor can file a motion to strip the birth father of his parental rights. Your legal representative can provide you with an order of protection if the father is a danger to you.

If the birth father is unknown, our adoption agency will try to find him. In the event we cannot find the birth father, the adoption process will continue without his input. If the birth father denies that the baby is his, the adoption process can move forward without him. The birth father may not want to be involved with the process and might sign away his parental rights.

Missouri Adoption Support and Medical Services

An important part of adoption in Missouri is the support agencies provide to birth mothers. It can be difficult working while pregnant, especially after escaping an unhealthy relationship, but this support can provide relief. If eligible, birth mothers may receive financial support to pay for rent, utilities, food, phone service, and medical expenses. This support will depend on your financial situation and if you have any loved ones who can support you.

Your adoption agency will connect you with a doctor to ensure the health of you and your baby. The doctor will evaluate your blood pressure, heart rate, and weight and provide advice regarding your pregnancy. Your doctor will provide the necessary pre- and post-natal care while also advising you on your birth plan.

Adoption Agencies Can Provide You with Housing and Transportation

Adoption agencies provide safe housing for birth mothers who have nowhere else to go, especially in cases of abuse. Many birth mothers need a safe place to stay, so they can heal and focus on themselves. If you need a non-judgmental place to stay while you’re pregnant, our adoption agency can provide one for you. 

If you need transportation, adoption agencies in Missouri can provide it for you so that you can travel safely. We can provide reliable transport from your home or our housing to your job, doctor’s office, or family’s home. If you are eligible, this transportation will be one less thing for you to worry about.

Adoption Planning

Adoption agencies near you will discuss and help you create an adoption plan that fits your needs. The adoption plan details the level of contact you have with your child and how much privacy you need. Your adoption agency won’t pressure you into choosing any of these adoption plans. You’ll have control over the process. Depending on the situation, the birth father might have the ability to determine his adoption plan.

Open adoption plans provide you with the most contact with your baby, with the adoptive parents sending various updates. Semi-open adoption is a combination of privacy and communication, as the birth mother communicates anonymously with the adoptive parents. Closed adoption plans are for situations where seeing your child again will bring severe psychological trauma, guilt, and grief. After placing your child, you’ll no longer contact the adoptive family and can move forward with your life. 

Adoption and Abuse Counseling

Birth mothers often need some form of post-adoption counseling, as post-adoption grief and guilt can be a challenge. Post-adoption grief can cause many challenges and create multiple complicated emotions that make life difficult. Several adoption agencies near you, provide compassionate counselors who understand your experiences with grief and can help you cope. Adoption counselors can provide effective therapies and healthy coping mechanisms tailored for each birth mother.

Several birth mothers need abuse counseling after leaving their unhealthy relationships so that they can healthily process their pain. Our adoption agency can connect you with a counselor who can help you overcome the challenges you’re currently facing. This counselor can be your rock, helping you understand and find healthy, effective ways to manage your trauma.

How Missouri Adoption Can Help You

You’ve been through plenty. Let our adoption agency provide you with the support and care you need. Our agency will provide the necessary emotional support and patience while giving you control of the adoption process. We will keep you and your baby safe, and fight for your adoption decisions in every way we can. If you are in an unstable relationship, please contact our Missouri adoption agency so we can assist you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri can answer any of your adoption questions and provide you with adoption resources. If you’re in an unsafe relationship and you fear for your baby’s safety, we can assist you. We put you in control of the adoption process and provide you with the necessary emotional support. Contact us if you need adoption support; if eligible, we can provide you with the help you need.

Adoption Choices of Missouri puede proporcionar respuestas a sus preguntas sobre adopción y, si es elegible, el apoyo necesario. Somos una agencia de adopción autorizada que puede brindar alojamiento seguro y asesoramiento legal en casos de relaciones abusivas. Nuestra agencia puede brindarle apoyo emocional y psicológico, así como alojamiento, si necesita un lugar seguro donde quedarse. Contáctenos para que podamos ayudarlo en su viaje de adopción y responder sus preguntas sobre la adopción de bebés.

Birth Mother Blog

I’m pregnant and in a bad relationship, can I choose adoption? 

I’m Pregnant and in a Bad Relationship, Can I Choose Adoption? 

By Manuel Serritos 

Bad relationships are far too common than they should be. A relationship you are in might have started off fine, but for one reason or another, things can change. This change often can make the relationship more toxic in comparison to when it was started. The change can be seen in a lack of communication, increased arguments, and even physical or mental abuse. Experiencing any of these problems for an extended period of time can destroy a relationship and a household.

If a child is added to the relationship because of an unplanned pregnancy, it can make things even more complicated. It is difficult for a child to receive proper development when they are living in an unstable household. No child deserves a bad start to life that will place them in an unfavorable living situation. If you are in a bad relationship while pregnant, know you have options for your child. One of those options is Adoption Choices of Missouri

Initial Steps to Take When Choosing Adoption

Before even searching “how to give a baby up for adoption,” you need to take a look at your relationship. “Is the birth father abusive?” “Has he been supportive?” “Will my child be able to be raised properly by the birth father?” These are all questions you need to ask yourself. Depending on your answers, adoption in Missouri can be a viable route in supporting your child with a loving home. 

A bad relationship can create an unstable living environment, but adoption can give your baby the start they need. With adoption agencies in Missouri, we will strive to help you find a loving family for your child. All of the families that are being considered to be adoptive parents are screened with extensive background checks. They are also required to meet with social workers for interviews prior while providing multiple forms of identification. Most importantly, you get to choose the family when creating an adoption plan. The choice of the family your baby, goes to is yours and yours alone. You have complete agency in the decisions made while we provide you with options for adopted parents and resources. Your choices will be supported by our care. 

Adoption Support Given to You 

Regardless of the stage of pregnancy, you are at, Adoption Choices of Missouri is there to help you. Depending on the support you need, we will provide you with any necessities needed during pregnancy. Some of what we provide includes rent, food, transportation, clothing, phone service, and groceries. Pregnancy can be a time when expenses add up quickly, but we are here to help you out. Although you do not get paid directly for adoption, financial assistance may also be provided by the state. If considering adoption, an Adoption Counselor will help determine and allocate any assistance you may need depending on your situation. 

Even with the help, we provide during your pregnancy, giving up your child for adoption can still be a painful decision. While support during pregnancy is much needed, care after delivery is just as essential. Giving up your child is not an easy choice, even if you get to know the adopted family. It can be an experience you can never be fully prepared for until it actually happens. But we are there to support you every step of the way post-pregnancy. The main support we provide after delivery consists of support counseling. This counseling is with trained professionals who understand any feelings you might have after delivery. They will be there to show you compassion and guide you on how an adoption is an act of love. 

Handling the Birth Father 

Every adoption is a unique situation. Depending on the role of the birth father in your life currently, your baby can be placed for adoption without his consent. This is mainly possible in cases where the birth father is abusive or uninvolved. If there is a history of abuse with the birth father, your child deserves better. You have the right to decide what option is best for your child and if adoption is that decision. When you are creating an adoption plan, our team will discuss the choices you have. Just because things may seem bleak with the birth father, it does not mean your child will be affected. 

If you are pregnant and considering adoption while in a bad relationship, please know you are not alone. You have support, and the status of the relationship does not define how your child will do. Adoption can help provide your baby with a loving family and a new beginning. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800