Birth Mother Blog

Adoption Gift Giving Etiquette as a Birth Mother 

Adoption Gift Giving Etiquette as a Birth Mother 

The appropriate gift for someone is as unique as the situation in which it is given. You wouldn’t get your teacher the same present that you got your partner or spouse, for example. Each gift is individual and special to the person you give it to.

If you are a birth mother wondering about adoption gift giving etiquette this holiday season, there are several things to keep in mind. In addition to these factors, you can always turn to your adoption caseworker at Adoption Choices of Missori for some assistance with the gift giving process. 

If you need adoption help now, call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

1. Honor Your Adoption Selection

The most important factor to keep in mind is the type of adoption that you have chosen. If you do not have an open adoption with your adoptive family, then it is inappropriate to break that contract. If you are experiencing heavy emotions during the holidays because you are unable to give a gift to your child or their adoptive family, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from family, friends or your adoption caseworker. 

2. Do Not Overstep Known Boundaries

Similar to giving a gift to a friend, presenting a gift to your adoptive family requires you to keep in mind what you already know about them. Do not select or create a gift that will offend anyone by making light of religious views or personal beliefs. In the same vein, make sure that you are not gifting an item that can be harmful, such as a food that contains an ingredient someone is allergic to. If necessary, always double check before sending a gift if you are at all unsure. 

3. Consider Something Personal 

It can be daunting to begin the decision-making process of what gift to get your adoptive family. A good starting point can be considering something that is personal. A personal gift can connect your and your adoptive family in a deep and positive way. It can also provide a chance for your child to learn more about you, if that is something that you and the adoptive parents are open to. When considering personal gifts, you might think along the lines of photo albums, letters or personalized items. 

4. Pay Attention to Your Budget

Another factor to consider when buying a gift for your adoptive family is your own budget. If you are purchasing a gift, it can be helpful to set a price range and stick to it. You will also want to consider what an appropriate budget is for your adoptive family. Will they be uncomfortable or embarrassed if you give them a very expensive item? Do they usually opt for homemade gifts? Familiarize yourself with this information and then review your own budget, so that you can choose or create a gift that will be appropriate for everyone. 

5. Plan When to Give Your Adoptive Family the Gift

When and how you present your adoptive family or your child’s gift will be unique to your situation. If this is your first time giving them a gift, it might be helpful to check in with them beforehand to see if they have any preferences. You want to avoid any discomfort by giving them a gift in a situation in which they do not feel comfortable or safe. 

Adoption Gift Giving Etiquette as a Birth Mother 

The most important things to keep in mind about adoption gift giving etiquette as a birth mother are your adoptive family’s needs and your own. If you have further questions or concerns about this process, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. We understand the nuances of gift giving and are here to support you as much as possible. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.