Birth Mother Blog

4 Ways to Communicate in an Open Adoption in Missouri

4 Ways to Communicate in an Open Adoption in Missouri

Open and respectful communication is one of the best ways to build a solid relationship with someone. If you are a birth mother in Missouri who has chosen an open adoption, finding healthy ways to communicate will be crucial. Not only will you remain in contact with your birth child, you’ll also have an ongoing relationship with his or her adoptive family.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have plenty of support available for you as you navigate the waters of your open adoption. Your adoption caseworker can answer any questions you have about the different ways that an open adoption can look. Your adoption journey will be unique to you, but there are a few common ways to communicate in an open adoption.

  • Phone Calls with Your Birth Child and His or Her Adoptive Family 

One simple way to communicate with your birth child and his or her adoptive family is through phone calls. These can be quick check-ins to see how things are going or longer phone calls that cover the bigger events in your birth child’s life. Both types of calls can be helpful ways to communicate.

When might you give your birth child or his or her adoptive family a call? Again, this depends on any prior agreements that you’ve made with your birth child’s adoptive family. Maybe you’ve decided on a certain day to hold a weekly check-in. Perhaps you’ve all decided that it’s okay to call regardless of the day or time. Maybe you’d like to speak on the phone before or after big life events, like a graduation or a wedding. These phone calls can look many different ways. The important thing is that you maintain positivity and respect the boundaries you’ve discussed with your birth child’s adoptive family.

  • Visit Your Birth Child In Person

Another way that you can keep up communication with your birth child is through in-person visits. With an in-person visit, you’ll be able to catch up with your birth child and get to know them through conversation. You might plan an activity that the two of you can do together, like going to the park or taking a painting class, or you can choose to keep it less structured.

Keeping in touch in this way allows you to watch your birth child grow up. You’ll be able to see them develop from a small child to an accomplished adult. If you and your birth child’s adoptive family have discussed this, you can also visit their house for dinner or other events. In this way, you are able to connect with both your birth child and his or her adoptive family at the same time.

  • Write Letters to Your Birth Child

Sometimes it can be hard to say all the things that we want to in person. Something comes up and we forget, or it feels a little bit too awkward to express a bigger emotion. Writing a letter is a great way to ensure that you communicate everything you were hoping to with precision.

If you’re not sure what to include in a letter, take a minute to jot down a list of possible ideas. Is there anything in particular that you really want your birth child to know about you or your family? This is the perfect opportunity to teach them. You can include information about your childhood, rituals or beliefs that are valuable to you and details about the things you love.

It is also a wonderful place to express your feelings for your birth child and let them know that they are cared for deeply. Do keep in mind, however, that it is not appropriate to share anything that would violate your agreement with your birth child’s adoptive family or go against any beliefs that they are sharing with them.

  • Follow Your Birth Child and/or His or Her Adoptive Family on Social Media

The world can feel very small and interconnected these days, thanks to social media. An easy way to keep up with your birth child and their adoptive family is by following them on social media. Make sure you discuss this beforehand with the adoptive family.

You can comment on posts and keep up with life events through pictures and captions. It also allows you a quick avenue to let your birth child know that you are proud of them. Sometimes, communicating big feelings in a smaller way can be a great reminder of how much you care.

Consider an Open Adoption in Missouri Today

There are so many ways to communicate in an open adoption. Make sure that you discuss your preferred methods of communication with your birth child’s adoptive family before you commit to any. From there, you can outline a plan with them to ensure that there are no surprises along the way.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we understand that it can be hard to come up with a communication plan. Our staff is here to help should you need it. Our goal is for your open adoption to be joyful and filled with love.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.