Birth Mother Blog

Support After My Adoption Journey

By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa

You’re looking for support after you’ve placed your birth child up for adoption. But you don’t know where to look. That’s okay. Some birth mothers find themselves lost after they’ve placed their birth child up for adoption. They don’t know what to do next. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have counselors who can help you find your footing. All you need to do is ask, and you shall receive. 

What Adoption Support is Available to Me in Missouri?

Birth mothers can choose counseling, financial, and medical support. Whenever the birth mother needs counseling throughout the adoption process or after, it’s available to them. Counseling isn’t just for birth mothers. It’s for the birth fathers as well. Some people tend to forget about the birth father during the adoption process. So that’s why the counseling is catered towards both birth parents. 

If the birth mother or birth parents find themselves struggling with money. Depending on how much is allowed to give. Our agency will help them. Not every birth mother’s situation is the same. So we break down what is needed so we can help cater to them. 

Medical care is expensive, and not everyone can afford it. This is why we help birth mothers with their medical bills during pregnancy and birth. Our agency will cover any hospital bills that pop up. Throughout the pregnancy, the birth mother shouldn’t have anything that will cause them stress. 

Our agency is a private adoption service. Any information that is shared with us will not be posted online. For others to see. We’re here to help birth mothers with everyday tasks. They find themselves unable to do. 

Is Counseling Available After My Adoption Placement?

Counseling is available to birth mothers who:

  • Have just decided they want to place their child up for adoption
  • We are currently going through the adoption process
  • Have finalized the adoption papers and are going through the adoption placement

All in all, counseling is available to any birth mother who needs it. It’s available to the birth fathers as well. So if you’re pregnant and considering adoption, you’re eligible to receive counseling, whether it’s for what to do next. Or what your options are going forward.

Why Do I Feel Lost After My Adoption Placement?

Some birth mothers feel lost after their adoption placement because they look at adoption as “giving the child up.” Adoption isn’t “giving the child up.” It’s giving the birth child a better opportunity at life. 

Most of the time, birth mothers place their birth child up for adoption. It’s because it was an unplanned pregnancy. But they decided to keep the baby and place them up for adoption. 

Another factor is why some birth mothers feel lost. Is that their thinking about what the birth child will think of them? So it brings on some conflicting feelings of guilt and shame. Guilt because they think they’ve “given” the birth child up. While shame is surrounded by what they think the birth child will think of them. 

What Can I Do to Get My Mind Off of My Adoption Placement?

Ways to get your mind off the adoption placement are by:

  • Seeking out counseling/therapy
  • Going to support groups 
  • Traveling with friends or family, or by yourself
  • Yoga or meditating 

All ways that will get your mind off the adoption placement. While putting you at peace and ease at the same time. Suppose you’re looking for ways to get your mind off the adoption process. You can search for “adoption agencies near me” and talk to their agents.

What are the Different Kinds of Emotions Birth Mothers Go Through After the Adoption Placement?

With the adoption process and the adoption placement. Some birth mothers tend to feel:

  • Guilt
  • Sadness
  • Shame
  • Regret 

Without having the birth child in front of them. Some birth mothers tend to make up ideas in their heads. Of what the birth child is thinking of them. By not having the birth child with them, they’re thinking of the birth child:

  • Doesn’t think kindly of them
  • Doesn’t want to meet them
  • If given the opportunity, I won’t want to speak to them

Is Adoption the Last Time I’ll See My Birth Child?

When doing Adoption in Missouri, there are three different kinds of adoptions to choose from. In an open adoption, you want to keep in contact with the birth child. Have a relationship with the adoptive parent (s). So, they can inform you about the birth child. You’d like to be able to send them messages to have a relationship with them if this is something you’d like to do. Then you can choose open adoption. 

In an open adoption, birth mothers can share contact information with the adoptive parent (s). To keep in touch and have tabs on the birth child. But that’s not for everyone. Some birth mothers would rather the adoption agency handle any communication with the birth parent (s). If you don’t want to have a relationship with the adoptive parent (s). Or share contact information with them. Then you can choose semi-open adoption. 

You found yourself wanting the adoption agency to handle everything during the adoption process. When asked if you wanted to choose the adoptive parent (s), you said you’d rather the adoption agency choose for you. For example, having a relationship with the birth child after they’ve been adopted. If this is you, then you can choose a closed adoption.

If you’ve gone through the adoption process and are looking for support. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800