Birth Mother Blog

5 Reasons Birth Mothers Decline an Adoptive Parent Match

By Carl Roth

If you’re a birth mother considering Adoption in Missouri, several key aspects of the private adoption process are worth considering ahead of time. One such consideration is your criteria for a suitable adoptive family. This is perhaps the single most important choice birth mothers will make. Therefore, they have every right to be particular. Who you choose to trust with your child’s care will shape their development as a person. With Adoption Choices of Missouri, every waiting family is screened extensively before and after placement, but not all will appeal to every birth mother. Some have a concrete idea of the family they want their child to be in, while others have more abstract preferences. Regardless, declinations of potential adoptive family matches are a regular adoption process. There might be several reasons birth mothers decline an adoptive parent. There’s nothing wrong with saying no, and you should seek to find the family that suits your desires most effectively. 

Piece of mind is important when choosing to put your baby up for adoption. Selecting a family that will raise your child in accordance with your wishes can make all the difference. Adoption Choices of Missouri will see that you have a range of options regarding family selection. Each has unique love and nourishment to offer your child, so they will always have strong roots. It can help to speak with loved ones and your adoption specialist to figure out what your baby’s ideal adoptive family looks like. 

Reasons Birth Mothers Decline

#1 Parenting Philosophies 

Even if all parents read the same child development books, they would still have different ideas on how to properly raise their children. Parents’ feelings on child-rearing matters like discipline, positive vs. negative reinforcement, motivation, and freedom all impact their child’s development. If you have strong opinions on these types of parenting styles, they should be prioritized when analyzing adoptive families. Parents with a stricter philosophy may not appeal to mothers who desire greater independence for their growing child. On the flip side, an expectant birth mother who values rigid structures may oppose a long-leash parenting style. Take time to consider the kind of person you want your child to become and what parenting philosophies will facilitate that. 

#2 Size of the Adoptive Family 

This family characteristic is often forgotten when thinking of potential adoptive families. Many birth mothers would assume that their choices are largely limited to childless parents, but this often isn’t the case. Plenty of potential adoptive families already have children of their own or have adopted children previously. Some even choose to adopt before having their own children later on. This can mean you’re choosing between families of all sizes, anywhere from one to a dozen. You may feel that it’s important for your baby to receive their undivided attention as their first or only child. Perhaps you are hoping for siblings for your baby to grow up and bond with. Whatever your choices are, you can feel confident with the control you have over your child’s fate all throughout your adoption plan

#3 Geographical Location

The physical environment your child grows up in can be a significant factor in your selection of potential adoptive families. If you hoped your child would grow up in a more rural environment, a city condo-dwelling family could make you think twice. Maybe you’ve imagined that suburban life would be ideal for your child’s healthy growth into adulthood. Your own past often plays a big role in your preference for your child’s immediate environment. Take into account the experiences you had growing up and the way they’ve influenced your idea of a perfect home. Adoption agencies in Missouri recognize the wide range of living situations the state has to offer. Fortunately, adoptive families come from all corners and walks of life, meaning you have heightened powers of choice during an unplanned pregnancy

#4 Ages of the Adoptive Parents

When you’re still searching for how to give a baby up for adoption, the age bracket of the adoptive parents probably doesn’t cross your mind. This is another overlooked family characteristic that can have a great impact on the type of childhood your baby has. For example, a couple in their 40s often has different parental values to offer a child than a couple in their 20s. While an older couple may have more physical limitations, they are more likely to have a stable financial situation. Younger parents often have the advantage of greater energy capacity and flexibility. The pros and cons of different parent age brackets should be taken into consideration. Every detail can have an impact on the kind of childhood your baby experiences. 

#5 Preference for Specific Types of Adoptive Parent(s)

How would you feel about your child being adopted by a single man or woman? What about an LGBTQ+ couple? More and more traditionally “atypical” families are being formed through adoption than ever before. There’s a good chance that your potential family choices will include more than just married man/woman couples. Modern loving families take all sorts of shapes, and we encourage open-mindedness for birth mothers considering adoption. You may approach your decision with preconceived notions only to have them altered when considering the value different families offer. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we value and celebrate having a wide variety of family types for birth mothers to consider. You may end up deciding that a specific type of family places your child in a developmentally advantageous position. 

Finding the Missouri Adoption that Works for You

There is no lack of influence over future proceedings for any woman who is pregnant and considering adoption. Taking the private adoption route means that your needs and concerns for your pregnancy and child’s future are front and center. There is an opportunity for adoption in Missouri that will be the perfect outcome for your child. Adoption Choices of Missouri not only sees to your child’s successful and appropriate placement but also your continued care. Medical expenses, necessary financial aid, and counseling support are all available free of charge for birth mothers who partner with us. You and your baby’s health matter most, so we ensure that everything else is taken care of to allow for a satisfying experience. Adoption won’t be an easy journey but having the right ally to guide you can help make the best of a challenging ordeal. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800