Birth Mother Blog

Life After Adoption for Birth Mothers: Can I Still Have a Family After Putting My Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri?

Starting a new family after previously choosing adoption is not a bad thing. It’s a good thing! This is your chance to provide your baby with the life that you couldn’t obtain before. Whatever reasons you had for placing your baby up for adoption the last time you were pregnant, you’ve overcome those obstacles and are prepared to take on this challenge. You should be proud that you are growing as a person and are ready to handle this new and exciting chapter in your life.

Adoption Choices of Missouri understands that you may be considering starting a family now, despite putting your baby up for adoption during a prior pregnancy. People are supposed to grow and change. Just because you weren’t ready to raise a baby before doesn’t mean that you can’t be ready now. Your previous situation in life should never stop you from growing or moving forward. If everyone based their lives around their past decisions, we would never make any progress. There are many reasons why you may have placed your baby for adoption but are ready to start your own family now.

The Top 5 Reasons Pregnant Women Want to Raise a Baby Now but Chose Adoption Before:

  1. You chose adoption because you were a pregnant teenager or still in school when you got pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is the most common adoption scenario that people picture. If you chose adoption because you were too young to have a baby or were still in school before, then it’s OK if you’re ready to raise a child now that you’re a bit older. Even if you are pursuing higher education, it is much easier to manage your time and create a flexible class schedule around a babysitter or daycare hours when you are in college versus when you were in high school. Now that you are older, wiser, and more along in advancing your career, you should absolutely start a family if you feel that you are ready.
  2. You considered adoption before because you didn’t have all the resources needed to raise a baby. Babies require a lot of both your money and your time. Adoption was the right choice for you because you were not financially able to provide for your baby or because you did not have the time to devote to raising a baby. The financial assistance for birth mothers that comes with adoption probably helped you a lot back then too. You chose adoption because it was what you had to do in order to provide your baby with the best opportunities in life. Whether you were short on money, time, or both, now you feel as though you have enough of those resources readily available to raise a baby.
  3. You needed unplanned pregnancy help because you were in an unsafe relationship or living situation. When you are in an unhealthy relationship or an unsafe living situation, the last thing you want to do is expose a baby to those conditions. The health and safety of your baby took the highest priority, and that is so brave and commendable. Even if you were able to take advantage of the safe housing for birth mothers that our adoption agency provides, you still felt that you needed to remove yourself from that situation before you could raise a healthy and happy baby. Now that you have gotten yourself out of that toxic environment, you are ready to move on with your life and start a family. You worked hard to provide a secure environment, and you feel as though you are ready to raise a baby now that you’ve achieved it.
  4. Many pregnant women choose adoption because they don’t have good support systems in place. There’s a reason that people like to say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s important to have good support systems in place when raising a baby, and maybe you didn’t have them before. These support systems can be anyone you trust, whether you have a close family member, a dear friend, or a reliable neighbor who doesn’t mind watching your baby when your shift at work runs late. But support systems aren’t just all about having a babysitter handy; it’s important that you have another adult you can talk to and confide in when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Thanks to birth mother blogs and discussion forums, you now have access to a whole world of stories from birth mothers who may be going through the same things you are experiencing.
  5. You chose adoption because you just didn’t want to raise a baby at the time. This is one of the most overlooked reasons for considering adoption in Missouri, but it is still as perfectly acceptable as any other. Maybe your last pregnancy was a surprise, and this one is more planned. Or perhaps both pregnancies were unexpected, but now you simply feel that you are ready for motherhood and want to take on this role. You chose adoption because you just didn’t want to raise a baby and weren’t looking to start a family at the time, but now you feel like motherhood is a path in life that may suit you.

Are You Worried About Whether Your Adopted Child Will Find Out They Have a Sibling?

Just because you are ready to start a new family does not mean that you forgot about your old one. If you choose open adoption as your type of adoption when making your adoption plan, your kids might be able to meet each other as siblings. It depends on if that is something you would like to arrange or speak to your adopted child about. Talk it over with the adoptive parents first to see if they feel OK with letting your adopted child know they have a sibling. The adoptive family might feel more comfortable if they have the opportunity to be the ones to break the big news first.

As always, please remember to be realistic and manage your expectations when it comes to in-person visits. If your adopted child or the adoptive family doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of them meeting your new baby, it’s best to give them some space and let them decide when they are ready. The big news may come as a bit of a shock at first, but ultimately everyone will be better off knowing the truth. It is important that you explain to your adopted child that this does not mean you love them any less or that you love the new baby any more than them. Be patient and make sure to answer any questions they may have. This will help them overcome any initial distress they may be experiencing.

If You Need Help Exploring Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options, Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today

If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, don’t hesitate to call Adoption Choices of Missouri today. Whether or not this is your first rodeo, our adoption specialists are ready and waiting to help answer all of your questions. Your adoption caseworker will help guide you every step of the way on your adoption journey, so call us today. The longer you wait to call our adoption agency, the longer before we can get to work helping you navigate your adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.