How to Write a Letter to Your Birth Child in Missouri

There are many reasons to write someone a letter. Perhaps they live far away from you and you miss them. Maybe you want to tell them how you feel but can’t seem to do it in person. Whatever the reason, a letter can convey a world of emotion and can often become a lifetime treasure.

Writing a letter to your birth child can be a wonderful way to communicate with them. Just as with any letter, there are many reasons that you might consider writing a letter to your birth child. You might want to tell them more about your own life experiences or cultural traditions. Perhaps you want to share your feelings and let your birth child know that you are thinking of them. If you’re not sure how to write a letter to your birth child, try reaching out to Adoption Choices of Missouri or following some of these tips.

• Make a Plan for What You Want to Write

Before writing your letter, it can be helpful to create a plan detailing what you’d like to include. Knowing what you are going to write about can relieve some of the anxiety or difficulty that might accompany writing. It can also ensure that you don’t leave out anything important that you really wanted to say.

Making a writing plan looks different for everyone. You can try creating a list with all the key points that you wanted to include in your letter. If you benefit from a lot of organization, you might make an outline of what you want to include in each paragraph. If you’re someone who prefers to write it out, read it through and then begin again if it doesn’t feel right, that’s always an option as well. Whatever works best for you is the way to go.

• Keep Your Birth Child in Mind when Writing about Adoption

As you write, it is important to remember who you are writing to. While writing does have many therapeutic benefits, keep in mind that you are not writing this letter solely for yourself. Your birth child will read this letter and experience all the emotion that comes along with it. You can certainly express your feelings, but just make sure that you write this letter with intention.

• Write with Positivity about Your Adoption Journey

Keep your letter positive. This does not mean that you can’t be open and honest. It just means that you want to fill your letter with support and love for your birth child. Although we understand that there can be difficult emotions that arise throughout your adoption journey and post-adoption, this is not the place to share those.

If you do find yourself facing some tough feelings as you write, our adoption agency offers counseling services post-adoption. You can always reach out and schedule an appointment. Talking to a professional can be a helpful way to work through your thoughts and emotions.

• Share the Important Parts of Your Child’s Adoption Story

What should you include in your letter? You can share anything that you feel is important for your child to know. You might choose to share more information about your personality and your own life experiences. This can help your birth child get to know you as a person. Maybe you’d like for them to learn about your culture and traditions. If you placed your baby for adoption in a transracial adoption, this can be a great way to introduce and educate your birth child around his or her culture.

If you don’t have specific information that you want to include, that’s fine! It is definitely okay to just share your support and love with your child. You can remind them of how much you love them or how happy you are that they are growing up safe and healthy. Try to stay away from any negative sentiments regarding adoption or his or her adoptive family. Remember, your birth child will benefit from a show of support and confidence in your own decisions.

How will You Write to Your Letter to Your Birth Child?

Although writing a letter to your birth child can feel daunting, just remember to be yourself. Share the parts of you and your life that are the most special. If you’re not sure how to write a letter to your birth child, keep these tips in mind and speak from the heart. If you need any help or advice on how to write a letter to your birth child, our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri are always happy to help.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.