How to Support a Birth Mother through the Missouri Adoption Process

Facing life-changing events or making large emotional decisions alone can be difficult, if not impossible. Having the right kind of support through life’s big moments can make a world of difference. If you know a birth mother who is on her adoption journey, it is likely that she will benefit from your love and support.

You might be asking yourself what kind of resources are out there to help you support the birth mother in your life. You’ve come to the right place! Adoption Choices of Missouri has put together this resource to give you tips on how to support a birth mother through the adoption process.

• Educate Yourself about Adoption 

A great place to start when offering your support to the birth mother in your life is to educate yourself about adoption. Schedule a visit at Adoption Choices of Missouri and pick up some information. Our staff are a wonderful resource. Not only are they very welcoming, they are also well-educated and happy to share any helpful resources with you. You can also browse the web for helpful information about the details of adoption and what your friend may be facing as she completes her adoption journey.

• Listen to the Birth Mother’s Adoption Plans with an Open Mind

Placing your baby for adoption is a life-changing and emotional journey. While the birth mother in your life is going through this, one of the best ways you can support her is to listen. Practice listening openly and without judgement. If you are too critical of what she shares, chances are she won’t feel safe enough to confide in you again. Reserve your judgement and operate from a place of openness and curiosity. Ask questions when it is appropriate. Remember, if she has chosen to place her baby for adoption, that means that it is the choice that is best for her and her child.

• Offer to Attend Doctor’s Appointments with Her

If you are close enough with her, offer to go to her doctor’s appointments with her. It can be comforting to have support during these visits. Having a friend to share the information or make the commute with can be helpful. If she’d prefer to go alone, respect her decision. If her doctor’s office does not allow extra visitors because of COVID-19 related precautions, you can always be supportive by asking questions and listening post-visit.

• Find Birth Mother Support Groups in the Area

While it is important for a birth mother to have supportive friends and family to confide in, it can be extremely helpful for them to share with other women who are on a similar adoption journey. There are many groups that offer a safe space for birth mothers to share their stories with each other and offer support and guidance. Try googling some in your area and recommending them to the birth mom in your life. Remember, the goal is for her to feel comfortable and safe being vulnerable. If she doesn’t feel this way, she can always try attending a new group later on.

• Discuss Adoption Counseling Options 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, all birth mothers have access to counseling throughout their adoption journey and post-placement as well. Your friend’s adoption caseworker will provide her with more information on her counseling options. If for any reason, she would like to continue with counseling outside of the services that we provide, you can talk through her options with her.

Finding counseling services for yourself may also be an option. Being a friend’s support system through an emotional journey can be exhausting. If you feel emotionally tired or need to discuss some of your feelings in a safe and confidential environment, seeking counseling can provide that space for you. Remember, the goal is to provide your friend with the support that she needs. In order to be there for her, you must also take care of your own mental and physical health as well.

Supporting a Birth Mother through the MO Adoption Process

Giving support requires love, empathy and patience. There are many resources available to help you provide the birth mom in your life with the help that she needs. If you need more resources, Adoption Choices of Missouri is happy to assist you. Our top priority is to make your friend’s adoption journey smooth, comfortable and safe. We understand that you, as her support system, are a big part of that journey and are eager to help.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.