Birth Mother Blog

Give Up My Baby for Adoption vs. Place My Baby For Adoption:  

The Importance of Positive Adoption Language for Birth Mothers 

If you are a birth mother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and are researching adoption for your child, you may have come across the terms “give up my baby for adoption” and “place my baby for adoption.” Both of these terms are commonly used in the adoption industry and are often used interchangeably. However, these individual phrases relay two very different messages about adoption and the choice you are making — one positive and the other negative.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we believe that you should never feel shameful or guilty for placing your child for adoption. That you should never feel as though you need to hide your decision or fear judgment because you aren’t able to raise your child yourself. Adoption is a beautiful option. It provides your child with their best chance at life and helps the dreams of their adoptive parents come true. 

We believe that adoption, as a whole, is a positive thing and the language surrounding it should be just as positive. That’s why we are here to help you understand the difference between the phrases “give up my baby” and “place my baby,” so that you can feel empowered when you choose adoption for your child.

Give Up My Baby for Adoption

Immediately, this term evokes a very negative connotation. It creates the feeling that you’ve failed at something. That you are not good enough. That you are “giving up.” But, that’s not true at all! When you choose adoption, you are not giving up. Quite the opposite. You are putting your child’s needs before your own. You are admitting that you are not in a place where you can raise your child, or give him or her the life they deserve. There is nothing easy about the adoption process, but loving your child enough to give them their best chance at life is definitely not giving up.

This phrase originated back in the early days of adoption, when birth mothers didn’t have control over the adoption process. When their babies were handed over to an adoptive family and she never got to learn what happened. But those days are long gone! You are now able to customize your adoption journey and be in full control every step of the way.

Place My Baby for Adoption

Right away, this phrase creates a sense of ease. Empowerment. You feel like you are in control and have willingly chosen to provide your child with the life he or she deserves. This is exactly how you should feel! There is absolutely nothing shameful about placing your baby with a loving adoptive family. 

That’s why our goal is to have this phrase become the everyday term you hear in the adoption industry. It proclaims that you are a brave birth mother, making a selfless and loving decision for your child’s future. That you are enough. That you are valued and believe your child is too.

Positive Adoption Language for Birth Mothers

The words, terms and phrases we use can greatly influence how we view something. They can also have an impact on how we feel about ourselves. Having positive adoption language for birth mothers when it comes to choosing adoption can make all the difference.

Now that you know the difference between the phrases “give up my baby for adoption” and “place my baby for adoption,” what are your thoughts? Which one do you like better? Don’t hesitate to leave us a comment or get in touch with one of our adoption specialists.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.