Do I Have to Tell the Birth Father About an Adoption Plan?

As a birth mother, you may have a great relationship with your baby’s birth father, or you might not even know who the birth father is. Maybe you aren’t on speaking terms with the birth father, or perhaps you’ve lost contact with him. Regardless of the situation, your baby has a birth father, and there may be some concern over whether or not he will be included in the adoption plan. 

Due to legal requirements, there is an extent to which the birth father will be involved, even at a private adoption agency like Adoption Choices of Missouri. Many states will require the birth mother to post an adoption announcement in the legal advertising portion of the newspaper, which is meant to inform any potential birth father of the decision to give a baby up for adoption. Talk to your legal advisor or adoption caseworker for more information about the legal requirements of adoption and consent. Our adoption agency in Missouri has gone through this process many times and is prepared to guide you through it with as much clarity and ease as possible. 

How Involved Can the Birth Father Be?

It is important that any birth mother follows the requirements to receive the birth father’s consent for the adoption to prevent any complications in the future. After this requirement is fulfilled, involvement varies from case to case. In some situations, such as many teen pregnancy cases, after the consent, the birth father may choose how much involvement he has in the adoption process, although this does not have to be true for every situation. Speak to your adoption caseworker for more information about the birth father’s role and responsibilities.

If you have a good relationship, the birth father can be just as involved as you, the birth mother. He can help decide the future family of your baby and guide you as you figure out all the details of your adoption plan. The birth father can provide a great form of support for birth mothers. Yet, there are cases where birth mothers have a negative relationship with the birth father and may have a hard time involving them in the adoption plan. If things get complicated between you and the birth father, Adoption Choices of Missouri is equipped to assist you in sorting out any disruptions between you and the birth father. 

Do I Get the Final Say in the Adoption Journey?

If the birth father wants to be involved in the adoption plan throughout the adoption process, he has a right to contribute. Although interacting with the birth father may cause pain and negative feelings to resurface, if he genuinely desires to help in the adoption plan, keep in mind that the process is meant to provide a secure future for your child. Thus, allowing feelings to get in the way of the valuable insight he may provide to the process may not be what’s best for your child’s future. 

So, Do I Tell the Baby’s Birth Father About the Adoption Plan?

The various requirements of the adoption process can get complicated. Speaking to an adoption caseworker or legal advisor can help clarify how to approach the situation. This news may be harder for some to take than others, but if considering adoption is the best choice for your child, in the long run, letting the complication of figuring out who the birth father is or concern over his consent steer you away from choosing it would be detrimental. Ultimately, as a birth mother, try to approach the feelings the birth father may have with grace and understanding because your child is his child too. Discuss with him the courage and love it takes to choose the route of adoption for your child and come to an agreement together on how to deal with your pregnancy if possible for more information on the adoption process and what next steps you can take with your pregnancy, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

Meet the author: Kyla’s life has been filled with adventure and transition – both good and difficult. She loves to take on challenges head-on and lead an organized and balanced life. She’s passionate about many different areas and loves how writing gives her the flexibility to engage in research of almost every field of study imaginable. She grew up very involved in theater and music and continues to use her free time to play the piano and sing. However, she is also very interested in how the natural world works and takes any chance she has to spend the day away from crowds, enveloped in the seclusion of nature. Growing up in the Philippines, she’s had some unique experiences that have shaped her worldview and given her a deeper understanding and appreciation for different cultures. She gets excited about research papers, completed to-do lists, and her morning coffee.