Choosing Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Your Thirties
Unplanned pregnancies are just that: unplanned. Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us whenever we least expect it. No matter what age you are or what stage of your life you are in, an unplanned pregnancy can be a major disruption for anyone. That is why it is perfectly reasonable and understandable to not be ready or willing for such an intense and all-encompassing change in your life.
Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you every step of the way. If you are choosing adoption as a pregnant woman in your thirties, you’re in good hands. Adoption is always an option for you, no matter what your circumstances.
Six Things to Remember When Choosing Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Your Thirties
1. You are Shattering Stereotypes. There are so many preconceived notions and common misconceptions about adoption. We are all too well-aware of the stereotype of the birth mother as a young, unwed teenager lacking in financial stability who chooses adoption and never sees her baby again out of shame; but, this is not always the case. Women have continuously and tirelessly overcome stereotypes and assumptions for centuries now, and the stigmas around adoption are no different. The truth of the matter is that expectant mothers like you come in all ages, colors, and creeds from all different walks of life.
2. You are Being Selfless, not Selfish. Women of all ages choose adoption for many reasons. But, at the end of the day, making this choice is always the most selfless act of love you can ever make for both yourself and your baby. Remember, you are shattering stereotypes here, and you are bestowing your baby with opportunities and a life you would not be able to otherwise provide. Adoption requires courage and selflessness. It is perfectly natural to feel grief over losing your parenthood when placing your baby for adoption, but you do not have to feel guilty for doing so on top of that. You are doing what is right and in the best interests of both you and your baby, and that is such an admirable and honorable act in and of itself.
3. You are Not Acting Alone. Many pregnant women in their thirties are choosing adoption as a viable option nowadays. Perhaps understanding a few of the many different reasons why other women in your age group decide to choose adoption may help you with your own decision.
- You may already have kids. Maybe your family is already complete. If you already have kids, then you understand the full financial impacts, as well as all of the demanding and time-consuming responsibilities of raising children. Maybe you just cannot give another child the time and dedication that things like homework, sports activities, and school require without sacrificing the time and attention your other children already require.
- You might be progressing or advancing in your career. We talked briefly about the misconceptions surrounding adoption, and financial instability is a big one. Perhaps just the opposite is true for you: you are financially stable and are moving upwards in your career, but you are just too busy at your demanding job to raise a baby.
- Your relationship with the baby’s father may be complicated. Most people assume that being pregnant in your thirties means you’ve found a stable relationship, but that’s not realistic, is it? What’s more, relationships are always complicated, no matter what age you are. Having a baby with your partner or spouse might make you feel like you are trapped or stuck with them, and staying with someone just for the baby isn’t fair to you, the baby, or your partner.
- Maybe you just don’t want to be a parent. Maybe being a mom just isn’t right for you — and that’s ok! Parenting is not for everyone. Not only are you shattering stereotypes, you are breaking the mold. You are paving the path to self-empowerment for women everywhere who simply do not want kids by showing the world that it is ok to have your own ambitions besides raising children.
5. You have a Support System. There are several different types of support systems available to you. Not only are there adoption discussion forums and relatable firsthand accounts from birth mothers available online, but Adoption Choices of Missouri offers all kinds of support in the forms of financial aid, safe housing, medical care, and mental health counseling. We provide you with an adoption caseworker who will help you navigate these services and the entire adoption process, from picking out your adoptive family to making a birth plan.
6. You are in Complete Control. Choosing adoption gives you control over things like who will raise your baby and the degree of contact you will maintain afterwards. You get to choose an adoptive family based on your criteria, as well as deciding what level of involvement you would like. For example, open adoption allows for you to stay in touch with the adoptive family so that you have the opportunity to watch your baby grow up. We strongly encourage open adoption as we believe it keeps everyone’s best interests at heart. Open adoption is actually the most common form of adoption in the U.S. today, and it is just another example of how you can shatter the stereotypes and erroneous assumptions that surround adoption.
Adoption Choices of Missouri Is Here for Birth Mothers of Any Age
Despite all the common misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding adoption, it is perfectly practical and sensible choosing adoption as a pregnant woman in your thirties. Having a baby is a major life change at any age, and this far along in your existence you have already become accustomed to your current lifestyle. No one wants to feel like they are starting all over again in their thirties, and many women are now choosing later-in-life adoption. Thanks to practices like open adoption becoming more common, you can still be involved in your baby’s life and get to know the person he or she grows up to be without having the full responsibility of parenthood. No matter what your reasons for choosing adoption are, our adoption specialists will be here to help you every step of the way.
Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.
When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.