Birth Mother Blog

Choosing a Transracial Adoptive Family in Missouri

The love of family and community is a universal thing. it transcends all borders of color, creed, and background. For all adoption plans, the goal is for the perfect adoptive family to be found and chosen by the birth mother. Choosing a transracial adoptive family achieves that, bridges two families together, and creates an even larger circle for your baby.

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows parents will love their child unconditionally even if they don’t their skin color, culture, or traditions. We’re going to share some insight and encouragement for you if you are thinking of choosing a transracial adoptive family to care for your baby.

Research and Learn about the Transracial Adoptive Family’s Culture

Heritage or cultural norms do not have to be a road blocker, they can be a learning experience. Taking the time to learn about the customs they follow. It may seem a little awkward or even confusing at first, but the goal isn’t take their customs as your own, but to understand them. There’s even a chance you’ll find some inspiration to add to your own customs or traditions that you find interesting and helpful.

Again, the goal of learning about the adoptive family’s customs isn’t for you to take them over, but just to show respect in knowing about them, and avoiding any potentially disrespectful instances when you put your baby in their care.

It is a beautiful thing to learn of other ways of life outside your own, it can be an enriching experience and broadens your own little corner of the world that you know.

Acknowledge All Differences

There are so many underlying factors that can go into play when choosing a transracial adoptive family as a birth mother. When coming from a systemically privileged background, it can be hard to understand the daily struggles or challenges the counterpart may experience. The same goes vice versa. There is a middle ground that needs to be met to truly understand where everyone stands if true harmony and understanding is to be achieved between the two families.

Take the time to check your own privileges or comforts you have and possibly open a conversation with your transracial adoptive family on how theirs may differ. Having that conversation shows that you care about what they face in the world they live in, despite you possibly not facing the same obstacles they do.

This sentiment alone shows progress in being empathetic and giving genuine thought of what race or heritage has that sets you and their family apart. It is counterintuitive to ignore these differences and choose not to talk about them. No learning can be done, no understanding can be achieved, no exchange of traditions can be passed without a dialogue.

Have the courage to talk about race. Have the courage to talk about color. It can define us, but it does not need to divide us.

Pass Along Your Own Customs

Whether you choose to be in your baby’s life or not, it would do some good to give your prospective transracial adoptive family some insight into what cultural norms that were passed down to you that they can take pointers from when raising your child.

Not only will this be helpful for them when raising your child, but will also be helpful to your baby when in the future they develop their own identity. Having some reference or source to pull from is the stepping stone in helping them achieve that identity. Children are naturally inquisitive and will ask questions on where they come from, why people look like this, why people act like that, etc. It is damaging to ignore their need of that identity that comes with their race or heritage.

Giving some tips and sharing stories of your own upbringing can help be the starting point of guidance in your transracial adoptive family. They will appreciate not having to scour the internet for answers or dive into the unknown going in completely blind. Having some pre-knowledge beforehand will lessen the anxiety they may possess that they are not giving your baby what is needed for them to achieve a true status of identity.

No child deserves to miss out on opportunities to learn about what cultural background they come from. It connects us and it can be a bridge for them to connect to others as well.

Choosing a Transracial Adoptive Family as a Birth Mother

In the end, the bottom line is for your baby to grow up happy and healthy. Choosing a transracial adoptive family does not impede that. It is a step in the right direction if a birth mother trusts in her gut and is brave to choose a transracial adoptive family because she knows it is the right family for her baby. We are all human and all made of the same flesh and bones.

We are not weakened by our differences, but strengthened instead.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your plan today. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in.

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning.

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”