Transracial Adoption Success Story 

Transracial Adoption Success Story 

When a birth mother hears about transracial adoption, there may be feelings of worry surrounding how her child will remember and learn about his or her birth family and community. This valid concern is not always met with an easy answer or solution. Many transracial adoptees may not grow up to know about their birth families and cultures, which can lead to poor self- esteem and feelings of isolation within their adoptive families.

Yet, there are just as many transracial adoptees who have had positive experiences with their adoptive families, who have prioritized the adoptee’s cultural identity. This week Adoption Choices of Missouriwill be discussing a transracial adoption success storyand what has made it successful. Today, we will be hearing Elisa’s story that highlights important points that have contributed to her success as a transracial adoptee.

Having a Relationship with the Birth Mother and Birth Community 

Elisa was adopted at the age of three by her adoptive parents, David and Joan, and was raised in Vermont. Elisa was not talkative at first, as she took in her new surroundings, home and family. Even before Elisa began to talk, her adoptive parents showed her photos of her birth mother, explaining to Elisa who her birth mother is and how she is doing. David and Joan decided to have and maintain communication with Elisa’s birth mother as they established their adoption agreement and started their adoption journey together. Through the exchange of letters and photos, David and Joan were able to talk and share news about Elisa with her birth mother, and vise versa, as Elisa grew up.

By having her adoptive parents welcome any questions, Elisa did not have to wonder who her birth mother was, what she was like, or about her birth culture. Elisa’s birth mother had an active role and presence in her life and her adoptive parents’ lives. Through this, Elisa learned the significance of her birth culture and developed a strong and healthy sense of identity as she grew up. She didn’t have to struggle with  feelings of loss and guilt, or put up emotional barriers, because she had the answers readily available to her..

Adoptive Parents Supporting their Transracial Adoptee’s Cultural Identity 

Beyond David and Joan establishing and maintaining communication with her birth mother, they welcomed Elisa’s identity and culture. They did not forget, erase or remove her identity and culture. To protect and nurture Elisa, they put their interests and concerns aside. They cultivated an environment that protected her against bigotry and promoted belonging. They acknowledged that race and culture matter.

Being connected to one’s culture and heritage is essential for transracial adoptees. Elisa’s adoptive parents asked themselves before starting on their lifelong adoption journey, why do we want to adopt? They also took time to research and understand the culture she came from. The most important holidays, the food and what life was like within her birth culture. This helped them better connect not only with Elisa, but also her birth mother. Before adopting Elisa, David and Joan thought about what their child will need to live and flourish in the world and how they could have their own transracial adoption success story. One of the many essential things they committed to doing was recognizing and respecting the birth mother’s want to be a part of her child’s life.

Finding Role Models that Uplift

Elisa’s adoptive family made an effort to find role models in their community that were successful, which showed Elisa that she could be successful too. Having successful role models in her life as she grew up allowed Elisa to see and realize that she is worthy of success. That stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination are wrong, and that the negative narratives perpetrated in society are not true. Having good role models also helped Elisa further connect with her culture and continually foster a positive sense of belonging and community. Role models also helped Elisa further to validate her adoption story as a transracial adoptee. Elisa grew up to know that she is her own person and not a child that her adoptive parents saved.

The Secret to Transracial Adoption Success

All adoptee stories are unique, and Elisa’s story shares with us a few things that made her adoption successful. Her adoptive parents put Elisa first. This made a significant impact on how their adoption journey turned into a transracial adoption success story. Elisa’s adoptive parents were not afraid to ask for help, paid attention to representation in their community and school and checked their biases. They also had open communication with Elisa’s birth mother, which allowed them to develop a relationship with her, and further strengthen their relationship with Elisa.

Everyone has a different definition of success, but one of the most important factors of adoption success is always putting the interests of your child first. To not place your personal agenda before your child.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.


Harness, Susan Devan. “Adopting a child of a different race? Let’s talk.”

Address presented at TedxMileHigh. YouTube. Last modified July 25, 2019.

Accessed July 1, 2020.

Mehra, Nishta. “10 Tips for a Successful Transracial Adoption.” Mash-Up

Americans. Accessed July 1, 2020.

“Transracial Adoption: How to Help Your Child Succeed.” Right Turn. Accessed

July 1, 2020.



Transracial Adoption Success Story

Transracial Adoption Success Story

Who Are Transracial Couples? 

In the adoption world, there are many types of adoptive parents you can select to raise your baby. However, there is one in particular that is not spoken of very often — transracial adoption. Having your child raised by adoptive parents of a different race may seem uncertain to you, but we assure you that transracial adoptions are very successful and will teach your child important lessons about themselves and the world around them. 

Adoption Choices of Kansas would like to highlight a transracial adoption success story with you to illustrate this. 

Brad and Chemaine’s Story 

Brad and Chemaine are a transracial couple from Washington D.C. They are headed to Houston, Texas, to meet their daughter, Layla, and her birth mother for the first time. At first, the couple was very hesitant about choosing to adopt a baby who was due to be born in a few weeks, but they were excited when they got the call and couldn’t wait to fulfill their dreams as parents.  What’s more — their daughter was already born!  The couple was not expecting their daughter so soon, but they quickly ensured everything was in place and ready for Layla’s arrival. They found a MeetUp group for adoptive parents and attended as often as they could.. 

When Brad and Chemaine met their daughter’s birth mother, she requested a semi-open adoption agreement. The couple agreed to the birth mother’s terms. Brad and Chemaine had already talked about how they would tell Layla her adoption story. In fact, as soon as she turned two years old, they read her books about adoption and used positive adoption language with her right away. This went very smoothly, and helped Layla develop a strong sense of self and connection to her birth culture and heritage. 

Layla’s adoptive parents wanted to make sure that their daughter knew that they loved her and celebrated her differences. That there was nothing wrong with being of another race. Raising Layla in their family taught them a lot about a race and ethnicity outside their own, and even more about respect, acceptance and tolerance.

Why Choose A Transracial Couple to Adopt My Baby?

Brad and Chemaine’s transracial adoption success story is very unique and shows the beauty of transracial adoption. If you are a birth mother who wants to place your baby with a transracial couple or individual, know that this is an amazing decision.

Transracial adoptions are becoming more common and is a beautiful way to blend families. Varying skin tones, race, ethnicity and culture can broaden an adoptive parents’ understanding of the world and help teach your child to celebrate identity and individuality. Your child will still have all the love their adoptive parents have to give and their best chance to succeed in life.

Your caseworker is available to talk to you, in case you have questions or concerns.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena College in Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!



Single Parent Adoption Success Story

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

For the month of July, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be focusing on adoption stories. This week, we will be discussing single parent adoption success and what that means. Until recently, single parent adoption was quite uncommon and has been framed in negativity in the past. Our society has held to the stereotype that a child needs two parents. However, single women and men have shown in recent decades that they are just as successful to be parents. 

It is important to note that no one is perfect and everyone has a different definition of “success.” Being a single parent of an adopted child is a unique experience that is both rewarding and challenging. Having a strong support system as a single parent is essential and can help with one’s adoption journey. What does single parent adoption success look like? What does one need to consider before adopting as a single parent? Let’s find out. 

Why Single Parents Want to Adopt

Single parents, like married couples, desire to adopt a child and have a family. He or she is prepared to take on the role of parenthood, and nurture and love a child in a secure, healthy environment. A single parent can provide for a child physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.  Studies have proven that a single parent is often more emotionally and financially stable, and can give their child a fulfilling life. 

What to Acknowledge before Single Parent Adoption 

A successful single parent hasn’t taken the choice to adopt lightly. They’ve carefully thought through this life-changing decision. This is extremely vital to the process, and an adoption professional will want to know that you are being honest with yourself. That you fully understand the commitment of raising a child. For instance, knowing how to deal with the challenges from societal perspectives and pressures of being a single parent. 

It can be helpful for both you to learn the experiences of other single parents, and ensure that you have a support system around you in the good times and bad. You should remember that you do not have to go through any of your adoption journey alone. Achieving single parent adoption success comes with help from others who value your child’s life and your well-being. It is also important to reflect before becoming a single parent of an adoptee and realize that everything you do for your child is in his or her best interest.

Growing and being Successful as a Single Adoptive Parent

To thrive as a single adoptive parent, remember to take care of yourself. Self-care is beneficial for yourself and will help you maintain a balanced mindset to provide the best life for your child. This will carry through the more challenging moments where you feel overwhelmed and doubtful. Surround yourself with people who are not judgmental, but who encourage and inspire you. Who spark your confidence and sense of independence. These two positive characteristics can, in turn, teach your child and help them establish a strong sense of self. 

Take one thing at a time. Know that you can and will get over hurdles that adoptive parenthood presents. Stay motivated. Rely on your trustworthy support system and remember that the environment you create as a single parent will stay with your child forever. So, make sure your home is happy, healthy, safe and promotes success.

Furthermore, know that your role as a single adoptive parent does not end once your child is grown up. Your responsibilities may change and manifest in different ways, but you are still a parent and the same person who decided to start a family.

Single Adoptive Parents 

Single parent adoption success shows that single parents can provide stability for their child, and that the child can have the best life possible — as much as he or she would in a two-parent family. Adoption Choices of Missouri celebrates single adoptive parents and believes that they deserve the chance to raise families. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.



Birth Father Blog

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

By Melissa Benedek

There may be many things that come to mind when you think of a birth father. You might think of a birth father as the father of a child who he is not aware of or present in the child’s life. You might think of a birth father as someone who is not married to a birth mother. There are many assumptions one can make, whether correct or incorrect, about who a birth father is. Yet, many beliefs are founded upon stereotypes that are negative and portray all birth fathers as absent, careless and lazy. 

There is not much accurate information available about birth fathers in general. However, Adoption Choices of Missouri believes it is important to recognize that birth fathers are as important as birth mothers in the adoption process. A birth father, whether he is known or unknown, is a part of the child’s life and the reason he or she exists. He may be in a relationship with, married to or divorced from the birth mother. Knowing the role of each birth parent is essential to understanding adoption and how it affects everyone involved. 

To clarify, let’s discuss the two different types of birth fathers — known vs. unknown — and what each entails. 

Who is a Birth Father? 

To begin, let’s first establish who a birth father is. A birth father is the father of a child who is adopted or is in the process of becoming an adoptee. A birth father’s relationship with his child varies depending on his position in the adoption journey. Some birth fathers may or may not have parental rights and some may or may not be in a relationship with the child’s birth mother. What remains constant is that a birth father helped bring life into this world, and will forever be a part of his child. Every birth father is unique as is his child.

Types of Birth Fathers

A Known Birth Father

When a birth father is known, he may be in favor of adoption, have a neutral opinion or be against it. If a known birth father does not want to be involved in the adoption process, he will need to sign away his parental rights so the adoption can move forward and be legally finalized. 

On the other hand, if a known birth father wants to be a part of the adoption process and is in favor of adoption, he and the birth mother can meet with an adoption agency to create an adoption plan. Even if the birth father chooses to be involved in the adoption process, the birth mother still has ultimate say on what this looks like. This largely depends on what kind of relationship the birth parents share. For instance, a birth mother is more apt to allow the birth father to help support her if they have a strong and healthy relationship. However, if they are recently split or haven’t been on speaking terms for a long time, she might not feel comfortable with him being there. Whatever the case, the birth father must be prepared to respect the birth mother and support however she chooses to place her child for adoption.

Showing support and committing to the adoption plan with the birth mother shows that the birth father wants to give his child a better life. Adoption is a very emotional decision and not one that can be taken lightly. Adoption Choices of Missouri is dedicated to helping birth parents through the initial adoption,  transition and beyond. Counseling services are available to both the birth mother and father at no cost to either of them.

An Unknown Birth Father

An unknown birth father is someone who is either not around or not known by the birth mother. In other words, she doesn’t know anything about him. He could be anyone from a one-stand to a man who sexually assaulted her. Unknown birth fathers are, unfortunately, very common within the adoption industry. But don’t worry. This doesn’t mean that your adoption process will be halted. You are still able to place your baby for adoption and search for prospective adoptive parents. 

In cases like this, our agency does our due diligence to locate him with any and all information the birth mother is able to provide. If the birth father does not appear within the allotted time, the adoption process is allowed to continue and become finalized without his signature.

Birth Fathers and Adoption

If you are thinking about adoption or have already begun your adoption journey, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you determine if your child’s birth father is known or unknown, and can provide guidance as to what steps to take. Remember that you are making a crucial decision that can be life-changing for your child, and that we are here to support you every step of the way. Depending on your situation with your child’s birth father, his presence or absence will not impact your adoption journey, so long as you and your baby are safe and healthy. 

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your specific circumstances, don’t hesitate to reach out to our adoption caseworkers. We are more than happy to put your mind at ease, and will ensure that you have the most empowering and positive adoption journey possible — both with and without your child’s birth father.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.



Adoptive Family Birth Mother Blog

Choosing an Adoptive Family for Your Baby

A fulfilling part of the adoption process is choosing the adoptive family for your baby. Adoption Choices of Missouri only works with families who are licensed to adopt a baby in the United States. Our adopting families have all been pre-screened and are ready to provide a safe, stable, and loving home. No matter what you are looking for, we believe there is a family out there that is a perfect fit for you and your baby.

To decide which adoptive family is the best fit, consider these questions:

  • Are you open to a single parent, or do you prefer a two-parent household?
  • Are you open to a gay, lesbian, and/or transgender couple?
  • Do you prefer a family in a specific location?
  • What kind of family values and views on parenting are you looking for in a family?
  • Is the family’s religion or spiritual beliefs important to you?
  • Do you prefer a family that already has children or plans to have/adopt more?
  • Is it important to you that the family have a large extended family they are close with?
  • What hobbies and interests do you want the family to have?
  • Does it matter to you whether one or both parents work outside the home?

We can help with these decisions and help you find your adoptive family! Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri  for more information Serving Expectant Parents Statewide (in Missouri and Kansas) Expectant Parent Hotline (24/7): 1-877-903-4488

Birth Father Birth Mother Blog

What Expectant Parents Need to Know about the Adoption Process

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, the ins and outs of the adoption process can be overwhelming. As an expectant mother, you are likely filled with many questions as you begin to navigate your potential journey toward adoption. While the adoption process can be overwhelming, there are numerous adoption resources available for you. The circumstances surrounding adoption vary widely, so it is important to really consider whether adoption is the right choice for you and your family. Despite whether or not your pregnancy was planned, you are here researching adoption, and making an informed decision is to be commended.

Within the adoption process, the hard things can become easier with the right understanding and mindset. As an expectant mother, you hold the key to the adoption process. The adoption triad, as it is often called, refers to you the expectant parent, the adoptive parent(s), and the child. Within that triad is a great deal of emotional complexities. However, if you travel through your adoption journey with the lens of what is best for your child, you will remain successful in your decision-making process concerning your child. Adoption Choices of Missouri seek to organize the adoption process into a meaningful overview, which will hopefully help you. While not every detail of the adoption process will be discussed here, the overall points of the adoption process will be.

What Is Adoption?

Adoption is a “legal process in which parental rights to a child (whose biological parents’ parental rights have been severed) are bestowed on adopting parents, creating a parent–child relationship where one did not previously exist. The adopted child has all the same legal rights and responsibilities as a biological child, including rights of inheritance.”

While the term “relinquish” may seem harsh, it is important to understand that as an expectant parent, you are the centerpiece of the adoption triad, and nothing happens without your continual consent and initiation. In order to be able to decide if adoption is the right decision for you and the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy, you first have to truly understand what adoption means. To further your knowledge of adoption, let us also explain that it is a matching process. As the expectant parent, you will be given a say in which prospective adoptive parents you would like your child to be placed with. So, while the legal jargon will exist, you will have your personal touch on the parent-matching process.

What Do You Want in Adoptive Parents?

You will need to decide what type of family you want for your child. This will include everything from their occupations, their family structure, what they do in their spare time, and everything in between. Think of this as the “best-case scenario” for your child. Do you want your child to be in a culturally diverse family or part of a certain religion? Remember that there will be a matching of sorts taking place with the prospective adoptive parents, so you will need to be sure of what you are looking for in a family.

In adoption, the process of selecting an adoptive family for your child is often called the “matching process.” This process typically involves you reviewing several profile books of adoptive families that meet your predetermined criteria. For example, if you have expressed that you want a culturally diverse family, Adoption Choices of Missouri will only show you the profile books of the families that met that specific criterion. Meeting adoptive parents in person can be an option based on your request. While the matching process can be intimidating, and perhaps uncomfortable, the purpose is to serve as a time for you to get some insight into prospective adoptive parents. No family will be absolutely perfect, so you will need to keep “what is best for my child” at the forefront of your mind.

What Type of Adoption Do I Want?

As you learn more about the adoption process, you will find that there are different types of adoptions available to you. These include open, closed, and semi-open adoptions. Kinship adoptions also exist, but these are adoptions that occur within biological families. For example, an aunt and uncle legally adopt their biological niece. Open adoption means that the relationship between the biological family and adoptive family is open, which would likely mean in-person visits.

The types of adoptions can vary and change over time, but, in general, an open adoption involves both parties being as open as possible. Some examples of open adoption may include the biological family attending the birthday party of the child or maintaining social media contact including video chats and similar media outlets. A closed adoption means that there is no ongoing contact between either party. Lastly, a semi-open adoption means that there is contact between both parties periodically. This contact does not likely include in-person visits but instead may include letters and pictures throughout each year. You will be able to decide what level of openness, if any at all, you’d like in the adoption plan you create for your child.

Adoption Is Right for Me, Now What?

Now that you have decided that placing your child for adoption is right for you and your family, you will begin to work closely with Adoption Choices of Missouri . We will begin to guide you through each step. Some of these steps will include paperwork and other legal discussions that can potentially be overwhelming, but it is our goal to keep your well-being as our top priority. During this time, you will ideally be provided with services like preplacement counseling to begin to help you understand and process what placing a child for adoption will look and feel like.

During your adoption journey, it is critically important that you get all of the counseling that you need. Such services can continue and should continue after placement. Your adoption professional will partner closely with you through the initial stages and into the matching stage with an adoptive family, placement, and finalization. Each of these stages of the adoption process brings its own challenges. As the expectant parent, you need to continue to communicate openly and honestly.

Adoption: From Start to Finish

Hopefully, at this point, you have a general overview of the adoption process. While this article does not discuss the process in complete detail, it does provide a general understanding. As an expectant mother, you will quickly discover that within the your journey you will have to muster up every ounce of strength, courage, and selflessness that you can. No part of the process is easy. The emotional challenges are monumental. And unfortunately, the decisions that must be made in all of their difficulties hardly wait for your emotions to catch up.

The adoption process should not be portrayed as an easy thing because it is far from easy. This is not meant to scare you as an expectant parent, but it is meant to keep you knowledgeable of the process ahead. With all that being said, however, there are resources across our country that make the adoption process manageable and a blessing for all involved. As with anything else, there can be less than desirable aspects to adoption, especially when you partner with agencies or other entities that function in unethical ways or those entities that approach adoption as a business. Adoption is a sacred and tender process, and it should be treated as such, especially when it comes to you: the expectant woman.

As a reminder, as you begin the adoption process, remember what is most important to you in terms of your child. Search your heart in light of your circumstances. Then, seek trusted counsel as you strive to make the most informed decision as possible regarding your pregnancy. Make an intentional effort to remember that if you do choose adoption and you walk through the adoption process from beginning to end, that you will need post-placement care. It will be easy to have the mindset of, “It’s done, so now I can move on.” However, that outlook can potentially lead to emotional trauma for you down the road. To avoid that and to maintain an emotionally healthy life after placement, you will need to be disciplined in your post-placement care. You may find yourself having to advocate for yourself as you obtain counseling.

Regardless of whether or not you actually complete the adoption process, your wisdom in evaluating all of your options as an expectant parent is to be complimented. Your desire to do what is best for you and your family speaks volumes to the love you are already showing for your child. Parenting comes in many different forms, and adoption is just one of those forms. If adoption ends up being part of your story, please know there are strong and thriving adoption communities that will not only love you through it, but will also support you as an expectant parent.

Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri  for more information
Serving Expectant Parents Statewide (in Missouri and Kansas) Expectant Parent Hotline (24/7): 1-877-903-4488

Birth Mother Blog

Our Services for your Adoption Plan

We are operating full service during this time and will not be shutting down operations. Please let us know how we can help.

Financial Support for Adoption

An unplanned pregnancy can be a strain on you both physically and financially. If you are considering adoption, as an expectant mother, Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri can assist you with financial support and proper nutrition, including Food Stamps, WIC, and ongoing grocery expenses.

We are a local child adoption agency that provides one on one support to each of our birth mothers. We have offices in Wichita and Kansas City and case workers located throughout the state ready to help you. We provide the highest level of birth mother support. Read more about out financial support.

Safe Housing for Adoption

Not having adequate housing or a safe place to sleep can lead to unnecessary stress and discomfort during your unplanned pregnancy.

Providing birth mother support, Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri can help you find and afford proper housing so you can rest easy.

Medical Care for Adoption

As an expectant mother, access to prenatal care should be one of your biggest concerns, especially with an unplanned pregnancy, and we are here to help.

Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri can help you apply for Medicaid and receive appropriate medical care throughout your pregnancy.

Support Counseling for Adoption

Putting your child up for adoption will not be an easy choice. We are here for you.

We are a local child adoption agency that cares. A compassionate birth parent counselor from Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri will be by your side to provide you with comfort and emotional support. Meet our team!

Our involvement doesn’t end there, we are with you through the birth and post-placement for all of your emotional needs.

Birth Mother Application for Adoption

If you are considering adoption and ready to work with a local birth parent counselor at Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, contact us at 1-877-903-4488  for birth mother support.