The Top 8 Common Questions Birth Mothers Have about Adoption in Missouri
By Sofia Becker
As an expectant woman facing an unplanned pregnancy in Missouri, you might be facing an uncertain future. Maybe you’re feeling scared or apprehensive about the whole situation. Maybe you’re thinking, “Where do I turn if I’m considering adoption for my baby?” You might have questions about your next steps and wonder whether or not adoption is the right fit or choice for you.
Don’t worry; all of this is normal. Adoption Choices of Missouri is ready to help you face this uncertain future. We’ve put together a list of some common questions birth mothers have about giving a child up for adoption in Missouri:
- Why should I choose adoption?
Having an unplanned pregnancy is scary, and, at this moment, you are probably faced with a lot of different choices to make. If you’re not ready to be a parent, considering adoption for your baby means you want what is best for your child’s life.
Choosing adoption gives you lifelong joy in seeing your child grow up in a loving household. It also lifts any burdens from your shoulders that you might have of your child growing up in a different environment than you did.
Is there anyone who can help me understand my decision and deal with losing my child?
Adoption is never an easy choice in the first place. It can be hard and difficult, but we are here for you and will provide you with counseling and support if needed. You will have an adoption specialist who will be available to you at all times.
It is important to also surround yourself with a support system outside of Adoption Choices of Missouri. This can include your family, your partner or spouse, or anyone else that you consider to be trustworthy enough to support you during this time.
Do I have the right to choose the adoptive family?
You definitely have the right to choose the family who will adopt your baby. In fact, it is encouraged or required that prospective adoptive parents create a scrapbook full of information about their lives, which contains pictures and stories. This will give you a glimpse of who they are and what kind of life they could provide for your baby.
Often, prospective adoptive parents will also include a special section dedicated to the birth mother, explaining why they are a good candidate and sharing additional information about their lives, such as their likes, dislikes, and more.
How do I know that my child will be raised in a safe environment if I choose adoption?
It is good to be concerned about the well-being of your child even after adoption. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, the prospective adoptive parents go through a series of exhaustive background checks. They are interviewed by social workers and are carefully screened.
It is always a possibility that prospective adoptive parents can’t have any children, even if they want children. So, adoption is always an opportunity for them to show their child all the love that he or she deserves. Children are always a blessing to someone – your child included.
Will the adoption agency be able to help me with my financial needs?
Adoption Choices of Missouri will help you find the assistance you need to pay all the medical bills. First, if there are any medical bills that are not provided by your medical insurance or the state funds, the adoptive family will take care of that. Second, we will help you with living expenses. We understand how difficult it is to return to work after giving birth. Third, your caseworker will help you find transportation to your doctor appointments and get your prescriptions. If there is anything else that you need help with (i.e. getting groceries), your caseworker will be more than happy to work with you on that.
Can I still see my baby even after the adoption is over?
This greatly depends on what kind of adoption plan you chose. For instance, if you choose to do an open adoption, you will have the opportunity to maintain contact with the adoptive family and your child. This could include virtual communication, phone calls, or in-person visits.
Be sure to discuss this with your caseworker and the adoptive parents prior to your baby’s birth, so that you will know what to expect after the adoption has finalized. The adoption process, overall, is a very emotional and complex one; but, it’s better to have a plan in place early on before everything is heightened during the birth and delivery process.
Will my child resent or hate me for choosing adoption?
This is a very valid and common concern birth mothers have when placing their baby for adoption. So, it’s very natural and there’s no shame or guilt in wanting to ask it. Our adoption counselors can offer you a confidential, safe, and non-judgmental environment to process this concern.
Adoptees from decades past often recount struggling with identity issues as a result of details being kept secret from them. However, in recent decades, more former adoptees have opened up about their adoptions. Many have expressed gratefulness to their birth parents for doing the right thing. In addition, our agency encourages open adoption, as it allows your child to learn the right way about you and where they came from, eliminating the questions and struggles as they develop.
What if my friends and family don’t understand why I’m giving up my baby for adoption?
If your friends or family lack understanding, you could give them a brief explanation of your reasons. That you feel this is the best decision for both of you. Unfortunately, there’s a social stigma surrounding adoption and birth mothers “giving up” their babies. People seem threatened by what they don’t understand. But, thanks to changes the adoption industry has made, it’s become more common and less stigmatized.
Your child’s adoption can also serve as an opportunity for your friends and family to learn about how adoption works. Your caseworker can talk with your family and friends and help them understand what is going on.
Navigating the Common Questions that Birth Mothers Have about Adoption
As a birth mother, the future can seem uncertain and terrifying, but Adoption Choices in Missouri is here to help you answer any questions that you might have. Whether it has to do with financial assistance or other concerns, please feel free to come to us for help. We understand how hard it is to feel alone during this time. Let us help you navigate these troubled waters.