Birth Father Blog

What Birth Mothers Should Know about the Adoption Process during COVID 19

August 24, 2020

What Birth Mothers Should Know about the Adoption Process during COVID 19

There is a lot that has changed for the adoption process during COVID 19. If you are feeling nervous and overwhelmed about all the new policies and new changes, that is totally normal. 

You are not alone – we at Adoption Choices of Missouri are learning to adapt to the changes and want to help you understand better what you should know. 

What Birth Mothers Should Know 

  1. We are Still Open and Fully Functional

Birth mothers should know that our doors at Adoption Choices of Missouri are still open and that we are still fully operational. While our physical offices may be closed currently, we have moved to virtual communication to respect the social distancing rules. 

Emails are checked on a regular basis and have a prompt response time. The same goes for texts and phone calls. We care about you and want to make you as comfortable as possible in any way, which means that your health and the health of our employees is of high importance. 

  1. Hospitals have Extra Safety Precautions

There have been changes to the hospital process as well. It is always best to call ahead of time just to make sure that it’s okay to come. At Ozark Medical Center, for instance, every patient is allowed one visitor per day. If they feel sick or have COVID symptoms, they can’t visit at all. At Citizens Memorial in Bolivar, everyone is required to wear a mask, respect the social distancing guidelines and will be screened for their temperatures. Washing hands with soap and water is also mandatory. There are strict visiting hours and birthmothers are allowed to have one labor partner and another visitor for the duration of the stay.

Your caseworker will help you stay updated on any and all extra precautions your hospital of choice may have in place. Your health and safety, and that of your baby’s, is our top priority as well as the hospital’s. Despite the global pandemic, it is still safe to place your baby for adoption and to deliver him or her in the hospital. It is important to be flexible with your birth plan, though, as COVID-19 policies are ever changing right now. If you contract COVID 19 while you are pregnant, don’t worry. You can still have your baby at the hospital. The staff have procedures in place for a situation like this as well. 

  1. How to Protect Your Baby from COVID-19

If you are worried about how to protect your newborn from COVID 19, it is important to know that the hospitals have limited the number of visitors and support people who are allowed in the room. Depending on hospital policy, your baby will be delivered to the adoptive parents outside of the hospital and will be kept separate from the birth and delivery process. However, you will still be able to communicate with them. As different as this may seem, this is all to protect you, your baby and your baby’s adoptive family. But rest assured — your baby will be safely given to their new adoptive family and your adoption journey will be successful.

  1. You can Still Choose Your Child’s Adoptive Family

You are still able to choose your child’s adoptive family during this time. However, with regards to social distancing, all these procedures will take place virtually. The caseworker will email you photos and photo books of prospective adoptive parents for you to look at. Once you select who you want to meet and move forward with, any and all discussions will take place remotely using applications such as Skype, FaceTime or ZOOM.

We understand that this isn’t the same as meeting face to face, but the magic of this age of technology is that you still have the opportunity to develop strong and healthy relationships with your child’s adoptive family. That you can still those grow and build until we are, once again, permitted to safely meet in person

The Adoption Process during COVID-19

Adoption Choices of Missouri is still open during COVID 19, despite there being difficult changes to adjust to. Please rest assured that we are doing everything possible to take the necessary extra precautions for your health and safety. We are ready to help you in any way possible and help you be educated in the new policies. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Office and Disney movies.

Through her blogs, and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.

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Baby Safe Haven or Adoption Plan: Choosing an Adoption Path that Works for You 

August 19, 2020

Baby Safe Haven or Adoption Plan: Choosing an Adoption Path that Works for You 

If you’re unexpectedly pregnant, you might be thinking about placing your baby for adoption. Maybe you aren’t able to care for a baby. Maybe you’re not ready to be a parent. Maybe you don’t want to be a parent (right now or ever). Whatever the reason, you are not alone: Birth mothers choose adoption for a variety of reasons.  

When it comes to adoption, you have a couple of options to ensure that your baby ends up in a safe and caring home: a baby safe haven or an adoption plan. 

Here’s what you need to know about these two different paths to adoption: 

What is a Baby Safe Haven? 

A baby safe haven is a location where you can safely and legally leave your baby. Baby safe havens include hospitals, fire stations, police stations, ambulance stations, maternity homes and pregnancy centers. You must give your baby to a baby safe haven provider, which is a person who works or volunteers at one of these locations. 

The baby safe haven provider will accept physical custody of your baby and ensure that your baby receives care. The baby safe haven provider will then notify the child welfare department, which will arrange for the adoption of your baby. 

How the Baby Safe Haven Option Works in Missouri 

Here’s what you need to know about the Safe Place for Newborns Law in Missouri:

  • Your baby must be 45 days old (1.5 months) or younger. 
  • Your baby must be unharmed and show no signs of abuse. 
  • As a birth parent, you are guaranteed anonymity. You do not need to provide any identifying information about yourself or your baby. If you wish, you may disclose helpful health information. 
  • When you leave your child with a baby safe haven provider, you permanently relinquish your parental rights and you consent to adoption. 
  • If you safely and voluntarily leave your baby with a designated professional at a baby safe haven, you are protected from prosecution for child abandonment or child endangerment. 

Here is the list of baby safe haven providers in Missouri: 

  • Law enforcement officer 
  • Firefighter 
  • EMT (Emergency Medical Technician)
  • Hospital staff member or volunteer
  • Maternity home or pregnancy center staff member or volunteer

If you bring your baby to a location other than a hospital, your baby will be taken to the nearest hospital for medical treatment and care. 

The Children’s Division of the Missouri Department of Social Services will ensure that your baby is placed with a loving and caring family. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri is a baby safe haven. You can leave your baby with us at our agency located at: 4435 Main St. #920, Kansas City, MO. 

Pros of the Baby Safe Haven Option in Missouri
  • You can safely leave your baby knowing that he or she will be protected and cared for.
  • You are protected from liability for child abandonment, neglect or endangerment. 
  • You do not need to reveal your identity yourself or provide any information to anyone. No questions asked. No paperwork or contracts necessary.
  • Your baby will be safe and placed in a permanent home. 

Creating Your Adoption Plan

An adoption plan involves figuring out your preferences for your baby’s adoption. You get to choose the family who adopts your baby. You get to choose how much you stay in touch with your child and the adoptive family. 

  • Choosing an Adoption Arrangement:  It is up to you how involved you’ll be in your child’s life post-adoption. You decide how much contact you’ll have with your child and the adoptive parents. There are three types of adoption to choose from that vary in level of privacy and communication: closed, semi-open, and open. There are pros and cons to each type. There’s no right or wrong decision. You get to decide what works best for you. 

Here are some questions to consider: 

    • Do you want to keep your birth mother identity confidential? 
    • Do you prefer to have no contact with the family who adopts your child? Or do you want to meet the adoptive family and communicate with them directly? 
    • Do you want to receive updates about how your child is doing post-adoption? If so, how frequently? 
  • Choosing a Family Type: You can think about what you want in an adoptive family. These are some characteristics to consider when choosing the family you think can provide the best life for your baby:
    • Family form and size: Do you want your baby to be adopted by a single parent? An LGBTQ family? A transracial family? Does it matter to you if the adoptive family already has children?
    • Lifestyle, culture and values: Where does the adoptive family live? What is their employment? What hobbies and interests do they have? What are their values and beliefs?
  • Choosing the Adoptive Family: Your adoption caseworker will show you profiles of families hoping to adopt. All adoptive parents have passed screening tests, interviews and background checks. They’ve also received adoption and parenting training. 
    • You will look at pictures of the families and learn all about them. Then you will choose a family that matches what you’re looking for. 

Remember, your Birth Parent Counselor will be there to help you make these choices.

Pros of an Adoption Plan
  • You are involved throughout the entire adoption process. 
  • You select the family that will adopt your baby. 
  • You can control how much contact you have with the adoptive family and your child. 
  • Your baby will be loved and cared for in a permanent home.

Baby Safe Haven or Adoption Plan? 

Whatever adoption choice you make, your baby will be safe and end up in a stable and loving family. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here for you as you make decisions about your unplanned pregnancy, whether you want to bring your newborn to a baby safe haven or develop an adoption plan. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Zoë Bowlus, a writing and editing enthusiast, considers herself a grammar groupie and suffers from a weakness for wordplay and working with words, whether she is reading, furiously typing away, playing Words with Friends, or filling in the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.  

She was adopted from Vietnam as a baby and began exploring her adoptee identity in Asian American Studies and Communication courses at UC Santa Barbara. As she combed through adoption literature for her last essay of college (she graduated with highest honors in 2020), she was inspired to use the research, editing, and writing skills she developed in college and her personal experience to create resources and share stories about adoption in a professional context. Writing for Adoption Choices, Zoë hopes to support people on their adoption journeys and to grow as an adoptee herself. 

Zoë is an aspiring cat lady who is allergic to cats. She enjoys curling up with homemade hot chocolate, kettle corn, and a good book but laments the absence of a feline reading companion. Her bedside table and bookshelves are overflowing with World War II historical fiction, Asian American and Mexico-U.S. borderlands fiction, contemporary fiction, grammar and style books, and collections of profiles. She spends an inordinate amount of time playing bridge.  

An avid NBA fan, Zoë lives in Sacramento, the primary reason anyone would root for the Kings. She holds out hope that they will make it to the playoffs during her lifetime. 

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Post Placement Services and Resources for Birth Mothers in Missouri

August 17, 2020

Post Placement Services and Resources for Birth Mothers

Adoption is a beautiful concept inside and out. Deciding whether to place the baby up for adoption can be a difficult decision to make, but it is always worth something to make that decision. However, there are alway the emotions to deal with after the adoption that maybe you made the wrong decision and that you maybe have lost your child. Fortunately, there are post placement resources and support to help you out. 

What Birth Mothers Should Expect Post Placement

If you are a birth mother who is struggling in post placement, you’re possibly trying very hard to navigate through the aftermath. It is natural for a birth mother to feel a mix of the physical and emotional factors from post placement. Here’s a list of symptoms that you might dealing with: 

  • Guilt: it’s okay for a birth mother to feel guilty for placing her baby up for adoption, due to the negative connotations today that our society has conjured up. Feelings of shame and/or rejection are stirred, even if it was the best thing she could do for her child. It can be a difficult road to recovery, even if it was the right thing to do, and can take years. 
  • Harsh self-criticism: some people will criticize you for wanting to give up the baby, but you need to remember that this was and always will be your decision – not theirs. The judgements and discouragements that you get lead to self-doubt and regretting the decision to put the baby up for adoption. But you have to look past all this, remind yourself that you made the right decision and move on.
  • Postpartum Depression (PPD): PPD is a mix of behavioral, physical, and emotional changes that you as a birth mother will experience after giving birth and it can occur anytime within four weeks of the birth delivery. Symptoms include hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, eating problems, and the inadequacy of feeling needed. 

Post Placement Support Resources

You will be asked so many times why you gave your child up for adoption and scrutinized for a long time. It is natural to pinpoint your exact emotions, take the time you need to grieve and recover and learn to see the positivity of your decisions. Most importantly, it is critical to find the support and resources that you need to get through the emotional aftermath of post placement.

When it comes to support resources, there are a few different options to consider. Online support resources are one way to go. The internet is a goldmine bringing people from all different walks of life together. Always remember that Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you even after you give birth, sign relinquishment documents, and the adoption is final. We can provide counseling and support! 

Support from Adoption Choices

Adoption Choices of Missouri can also help you find the resources that are best suited for you. We have caring professionals who will give you accurate and non-judgemental answers and information about your options and answer all your questions in a respectful way. 

The support you need is here to help you to decide what you want to do about your pregnancy. However, we encourage you to take the time you need to make a decision about adoption. When you’re ready — we will be there for you. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Office and Disney movies.

Through her blogs, and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.

 

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Reasons Birth Mothers Choose Adoption

August 12, 2020

Reasons Birth Mothers Choose Adoption 

You’re pregnant, and you weren’t planning on it. Everything is going to be ok. Take a deep breath. You can make an adoption plan that works for you. 

You may be experiencing a jumble of confusing emotions right now. That’s natural. There is a lot to consider, but figuring out what to do next is entirely up to you. Maybe you don’t feel ready to raise a child or you don’t want to be a parent. Maybe you don’t want to terminate your pregnancy. Or, perhaps, you don’t think you have the support to care for a baby. 

If you’re unsure how to proceed with your pregnancy, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. Today, we are going to discuss some of the reasons birth mothers choose adoption. 

If you aren’t ready to be a parent… 

Maybe the timing isn’t right for a baby. You may want to be a parent someday, just not right now. 

If you’re in your teens, you may not feel prepared to take on the responsibility of raising a child. If you don’t have access to childcare, you may worry about how you’d be able to graduate from high school or hold a job and take care of your baby.

If you’re in college, you may feel like juggling the demands of both parenting and earning a degree would be too much to handle.

Maybe you’re focused on your career at this point in your life, and you fear that starting a family now would mean sacrificing your success in the work world. 

If you don’t want to be a parent…

Maybe you don’t have any desire to have a baby, now or ever. You might feel that a baby will affect your lifestyle, career trajectory, or long-term goals. 

If you’re an older mother, you might be afraid that you aren’t physically able to take care of a baby. You may want your baby to be raised by younger parents instead. 

If you don’t want to be a single parent…

You may not want to raise a child without a partner. Maybe the birth father is not willing to support the baby. Or, perhaps, he is not in the picture at all. 

You may understandably feel overwhelmed by the idea of being a single mom. You are unsure how you’ll be able to provide for a baby on a single income. You fear that parenting and holding a job will stretch you too thin. Maybe you’d prefer to raise a child in a two-parent household. 

If you don’t have the resources to raise a child… 

You may not be able to give your baby financial stability. You may not feel like you can provide your child with the resources they need to thrive. 

You might hope that an adoptive family would be able to give your child an improved quality of life that you wouldn’t be able to provide. 

If you’re already worried about your finances right now, you may be even more worried when faced with the costs of raising a child. 

If you live in an unsafe environment… 

You may be concerned about exposing your baby to an unstable and unhealthy environment. Is the birth father abusive? Do you have a partner or spouse who is abusive? Do you live with people who are violent? If so, you might worry that you can’t give your child a safe home. 

If you don’t want to expand your family…

Maybe you already have children and find yourself unexpectedly pregnant. You may not have the emotional energy to care for another child you weren’t planning for — or the financial resources. An unplanned pregnancy might affect your ability to provide financially, physically and emotionally for your existing children. 

If you don’t have your family’s support… 

Perhaps your family members aren’t supportive of your pregnancy. They may not be willing to help you financially, offer childcare or be there for you emotionally. You may be scared to raise a child if your family doesn’t have your back. 

If you’re incarcerated…

You may worry about what life will look like for your child if you’re in prison. You might feel that taking care of your child during your incarceration is going to be too hard. If you’re pregnant and incarcerated, you can arrange for adoption. See our blog post here for more information about your adoption options from prison. 

If you are unable to raise a child…

If you have a physical or mental disability or a major health problem, you might worry that parenting will be too difficult for you. 

If any of these reasons birth mothers choose adoption speak to you…

You may want to choose adoption yourself. Every birth mother’s situation is unique. As you can see, the reasons birth mothers choose adoption vary. By choosing adoption, you are making the decision to guarantee security, stability and opportunities for their child. 

Whatever your circumstances, adoption is a possibility for you and your baby. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to support you with compassion and respect, no matter what choice you make. We offer non-judgmental counseling to birth mothers of all backgrounds.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Zoë Bowlus, a writing and editing enthusiast, considers herself a grammar groupie and suffers from a weakness for wordplay and working with words, whether she is reading, furiously typing away, playing Words with Friends, or filling in the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.  

She was adopted from Vietnam as a baby and began exploring her adoptee identity in Asian American Studies and Communication courses at UC Santa Barbara. As she combed through adoption literature for her last essay of college (she graduated with highest honors in 2020), she was inspired to use the research, editing, and writing skills she developed in college and her personal experience to create resources and share stories about adoption in a professional context. Writing for Adoption Choices, Zoë hopes to support people on their adoption journeys and to grow as an adoptee herself. 

Zoë is an aspiring cat lady who is allergic to cats. She enjoys curling up with homemade hot chocolate, kettle corn, and a good book but laments the absence of a feline reading companion. Her bedside table and bookshelves are overflowing with World War II historical fiction, Asian American and Mexico-U.S. borderlands fiction, contemporary fiction, grammar and style books, and collections of profiles. She spends an inordinate amount of time playing bridge.  

An avid NBA fan, Zoë lives in Sacramento, the primary reason anyone would root for the Kings. She holds out hope that they will make it to the playoffs during her lifetime. 

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Choosing Adoption as a Birth Mother in College

August 10, 2020

Choosing Adoption as a Birth Mother in College

You’ve just started college. You’re also on your own for the first time, and decide to see what college life and being independent is all about. Some of your college friends or roommates invite you out to a party, which you happily agree to. A few weeks later, you realize you’re late on your monthly cycle. Then, you start waking up feeling like you caught the flu. You take a pregnancy test and stare into one of your worst fears — you’re pregnant. What are you going to do?  

Deciding how to handle a pregnancy, especially an unplanned one, is scary. It feels like the world has turned upside down. As if you’re the only one in the world and no one will understand what you are going through

But we have good news. You are not alone! You have options available and a support system ready to surround you the moment you ask. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you in any we can. Here is how you can go about choosing adoption as a birth mother in college.

Deciding How to Handle Your Unplanned Pregnancy

The first decision that you have to make about your unplanned pregnancy is deciding what you’d like to do about your unplanned pregnancy. There are three options available: parent your child, terminate your pregnancy or place your child up for adoption. 

1) Parent Your Child

If you decide to parent the child, then you have to figure out how you’re going to raise the child. This includes doing research on what kind of parenting classes you would need to take. These classes are found on the internet, and are important educational and informational resources for you on parenthood. Make sure to thoroughly research each class option, though, so you don’t get caught up in a scam.

2) Terminate Your Pregnancy

If you don’t feel ready to parent your child, your second option is to terminate your pregnancy. With this, remember that laws vary by state on what is considered legal and illegal. For instance, in the state of Missouri, termination is prohibited after 8 weeks. Before termination can occur, you must receive state-directed counseling and then wait 72 hours before you are eligible for the procedure. Insurance, both private and public, will only cover the procedure if there’s evidence that the birth mother’s life is in danger.

3) Place Your Baby for Adoption

Your third option is to place the baby up for adoption.This allows you to give your child their best chance at life. To choose an adoptive family to raise him or her, and to ensure their safety and security. Also, to choose the level of openness you want. There are three options to choose from: open, semi-open and closed. 

We understand that picking an adoption agency can be tricky. So, be sure to take all the time you need to research the adoption agencies in your area and see who aligns the best with what you are looking for. Each and every agency will vary slightly. At our agency, you will be treated with the utmost respect and lots of compassion. Our well-trained staff of professionals offer the most nonjudgmental, empowering and positive adoption experience possible. We will walk with you every step of the way and make sure that both you and your baby are well looked after.

Choosing Adoption as a Birth Mother in College

Discovering that you are pregnant in college can be overwhelming. What’s more, deciding what to do on top of a school load isn’t easy either. But don’t worry. It isn’t the end of the world, and you are not alone. Adoption is an option no matter how late you are in your pregnancy. However, the earlier you contact our agency, the sooner we can help you begin your adoption journey.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, placing your baby for adoption comes at no cost to you. If you are in need of financial assistance, prenatal care or temporary housing, your adoption caseworker will help you through that and see what you are eligible for.

Always remember that adoption is an option for you, no matter what. Adoption Choices of Missouri has three different levels of openness for your adoption plan — open, semi-open and closed. It’s a big step into this wide and vast world of adoption and adoption agencies, and can be scary, but remember that we are here for you no matter what. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Office and Disney movies.

Through her blogs, and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.

 

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How to have a Healthy Pregnancy before Adoption

August 7, 2020

How to have a Healthy Pregnancy before Adoption

Whether you are going through an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy and are thinking about adoption for your child, having a healthy pregnancy is important. You may be going through several emotions finding out you are pregnant and making the decision of adoption. Pregnancy and adoption cannot be understated because they are life-changing moments and choices. It is valid to feel overwhelmed, stressed or anxious when coming to terms with being pregnant and the steps you decide to take for your future. Through it all, it is essential that you maintain your physical, mental and emotional health for you and your baby. This week Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing how to have a healthy pregnancy before adoption. 

Remember that you do not have to make every decision alone, and that we can walk you through all of your options, so you can do what is best for you. Whether you decide to choose adoption for your baby or not, we can be there for you. Let’s discuss some ways to have a healthy pregnancy before adoption. 

Establish an Adoption Plan 

As your mind is connected to your body, thinking about adoption often while your pregnant can bring on added stress and anxiety to an already overwhelming situation. Establishing an adoption plan can be a good way to relieve additional stress and let you focus on the wellbeing of you and your baby. Planning for the next steps after the birth of your baby, will help to prepare you for the start of your adoption journey. 

If you are pregnant and looking to make an adoption plan, you can contact us and we can discuss the specifics of your decision such as the type of adoption agreement you want for your child and more. Having questions or concerns about making an adoption plan is normal, and we are here to help answer all of them to the best of our ability. 

Stay on Track with Prenatal Care

An important part of having a healthy pregnancy before adoption is being mindful of prenatal care. When pregnant, taking care of yourself physically is essential for the baby’s development throughout every trimester up until birth. An expectant mother should not consume alcohol or any drugs, because they pose serious health risks for both the baby and mother, such as birth defects or miscarriage. There are also a few foods you should not eat while pregnant like raw fish and caffeine, among others. 

Having consistent and balanced meals to provide significant nutrition for yourself and your baby is necessary and beneficial. In addition to eating healthy, it is important to take prenatal vitamins, especially during your first trimester when critical growth happens for your baby. When you buy prenatal vitamins at your pharmacy, look for ones with folic acid, iron, calcium and vitamin D. 

Keep Active

During your pregnancy, staying active can help relieve and be an outlet for stress. Depending on if you were active before your pregnancy, you may be able to continue with your workout routine, but check with your healthcare provider to be sure. Exercising regularly while pregnant does not have to be a rigorous workout that includes heavy weight-lifting. Physical activities such as walking, jogging, yoga and pilates are good to practice during your pregnancy. Keeping active can help prepare your body for labor as it changes during pregnancy, prevent health complications of your baby, and helps to manage back pain that develops in the mother when pregnant. 

Always be hydrated before, during and after exercise and eat enough food for you and your baby for the calories you may burn. Try not to push yourself too hard with exercise while pregnant and ask your doctor what they think of certain physical activities, even if you think that they are okay to practice.  

Go to Doctor Appointments

Seeing your doctor during pregnancy is important because they are there to make sure you and your baby are healthy. It is important that you feel comfortable with your doctor to ask any questions or share any concerns, as they can offer answers and provide resources. Your doctor wants what is best for you and your baby, including if you have made the decision for adoption after birth. If going to the doctor during your pregnancy is anxiety provoking, maybe try to go with someone who can support you.

During your first visit with your doctor while pregnant, they will ask about your individual and family health history, perform tests and ask additional questions. 

Talk about How You are Feeling

As you go through many physical changes while pregnant, you may also go through emotional changes. Changes may feel like they are happening fast and you should talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. Keeping your emotions bottled up can cause further stress and negative emotions to be present. 

During pregnancy, remember you are not alone. Reach out and share your emotions, whether they are good or bad, and talk about them. See what you can do to practice self-care whether it be journaling, cooking, listening to music or finding affirmations to say to yourself, among other activities. Being healthy emotionally and mentally is essential while pregnant and while not pregnant. 

These are some ways that can help you to have a health pregnancy before adoption. As you prepare to bring a new life into the world and start your adoption journey, remember to care for yourself and that Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you every step of the way.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

 

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Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption

July 31, 2020

Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption

Typically when we think of adoption, we think of the birth mother and her role. There is less discussion about birth fathers, their position in the adoption process and why they choose adoption for their child. This raises the stereotype that birth fathers are not present or known during the adoption journey. Such a generalization about birth fathers does not account for all birth fathers, including those who are present for adoption. 

It is important to acknowledge that present birth fathers do have an important role in the adoption journey, just as much as birth mothers. This week, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing reasons birth fathers choose adoption. 

An Unplanned Pregnancy 

When a birth mother faces an unplanned pregnancy, the emotional and financial preparedness to raise a child are usually unplanned for as well. A birth father may still be finishing up earning a degree and securing a job as he establishes himself. Bringing a child into the world without necessary preparation can not only hinder a birth parent’s incomplete goals, but also prevent a birth parent from being 110% there for a child both emotionally, mentally and financially. Further, an unplanned pregnancy can show a birth father that he may not be ready or does not wish to be a parent at this time which is okay. 

Adoption is a great option to give your child the best possible life, and a selfless choice for an adoptive family to provide a strong, resourceful support system for him or her. 

Separated or Divorced from Birth Mother

Another reason why birth fathers choose adoption may be because they are no longer in a relationship or marriage with the birth mother. Co-parenting can be a challenge if a birth father and birth mother are not on the same page when it comes to raising a child. If a birth father no longer has contact with the birth mother of their child, it can be difficult for him to be a part of his child’s life. 

However, through adoption, a birth father can still have contact with his child and adoptive family, depending on the adoption agreement. Open adoption can be a great option for a birth father who is present even if he is no longer with the birth mother, because he still can have the opportunity to communicate with his child as he or she grows up.  

Without a Support System

Raising a child without the support of family members, friends and neighbors can be overwhelming. From childcare to education, raising a child is not a small feat. It takes a great amount of time, effort, care and most importantly love. Without having a support system to step in with childcare, whether it be helping to take your child to a doctor or pick him or her up from school, it can be a challenge for a birth parent to completely be mentally and emotionally present for his child. Without a support network a birth father may not be able to take care of his mental health which is essential for being a committed parent. Choosing adoption can ease the worry of lacking support for a birth father who knows that an adoptive family will be able to provide such support to his child.  

Being Proactive and Responsible

A birth father may choose adoption because he is thinking about the future of his child and wants to be optimistic about the situation. Choosing adoption can be a birth father’s way of being proactive and responsible as he understands his decision allows adoptive parents to create a family. A birth father’s choice of adoption for his child is a difficult and emotional one to make, but it can also demonstrate that he wants this for his child and made sure that he actively took the steps needed for adoption to happen. Taking responsibility for his child’s future to be happy, healthy and successful, further shows that a birth father is assured of his decision for adoption. 

Loving Your Child

A fundamental reason to choose adoption is because you love your child. The unconditional love you have for your child allows you to acknowledge and realize that you want the best for him or her. Choosing adoption is driven by your desire to seek advantages for your child and putting him or her first as you assess your life and make a life-changing decision. The choice of adoption is selfless and takes a lot of strength to make and go through with. It shows how much you love and care for your child as you want the best for him or her. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list of reasons birth fathers choose adoption. Whatever the reasons may be, they do not undermine adoption but uplift adoption as a great choice and opportunity for a child. Adoption Choices of Missouri sees and supports birth fathers along every part of their adoption journey. Know that if you are a birth father thinking about adoption, you do not have to be alone in the process. Please reach out to us and we’ll be more than happy to assist in every way possible.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

 

Blog

Adoption Choices Appreciates Jason Legasse

July 30, 2020 No Comments

National Intern Day

Today is National Intern Day!! And Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouriis sending a special THANK YOU to our writing interns. National Intern Day was created to recognize all the college students and graduates testing the professional waters across the country as interns. Internships offer future business leaders the experience they need to succeed in their related field.

Interns with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri research, write, and share valuable information, tips, advice, news, stories, and more for our adoption network! Given several adoption topics to choose from, they spend hours collecting the most up to date, essential information and build an article. It’s more than just an article though, it’s a tool for birth mothers and adoptive families to be able to find Adoption Choices on the web, share resources, connect within the adoption community, and help understand the adoption process. We are sending Jason Legasse a great big THANK YOU– today and everyday for all the hard work you share with us!

Hello! My name is Jason Legasse, and I am a 20 year old undergraduate student originally from Clifton Park, NY. I moved this past Summer to Venice, Florida with my mom and dog to escape the Winters, and we absolutely love it so far! I attend Siena College in Loudonville, NY, which is a small, franciscan liberal arts college with approximately 3,000 undergraduates, and around 100 graduate students. Although it is a very small college, it is an extremely well-known college in New York, and many students attend from nearby states like Massachusetts, to far away states like California! Siena has an amazing reputation, and I am incredibly grateful to attend such an amazing small school that truly wants to see all of its students do amazing things upon graduation!

I will be graduating from Siena this December, and am then planning to attend Meredith College in Raleigh, North Carolina, to earn my M.A.T. (Master’s of Arts in Teaching degree)  in General Special Education! Graduating from a four year school in two and a half years has been a major challenge, but I feel like taking some extra steps to achieve that goal has been well worth it! I was very motivated, and took as many as six classes a semester, recently obtaining a 3.38 GPA for my Spring 2020 semester. I know that I will be very young when I enter graduate school this January, but I am ready for whatever challenges come my way, and I can’t wait to be certified to teach in North Carolina!

I was not originally planning to teach special education. My heart was set on teaching English, until a few things came to mind. I knew that I wanted to teach a smaller class, and I knew that I may feel myself being stressed out with having potentially 150 kids a year, like at my high school. Having a disability myself, I wanted to help students that are struggling with their disability, or lack self-confidence. I want them to know that they can do anything they put their mind to, and I feel like I would be an amazing teacher for any student. However, I chose to continue with my English degree, because I know that any future employer is seeking skills that most English majors possess, such as critical thinking. I am also very interested in co-teaching English, after having been in a co-taught English class, when I was in 11th grade. Co-teaching is when there is one special education teacher, and one general education teacher in the same classroom. They teach the same class for the entire year, and typically both students with disabilities, and students in the general education setting are in the classroom. Not only is this an amazing idea that worked out well for me, personally, but it helped to promote inclusion. Including students with disabilities in our general education settings is extremely important, and I am a huge advocate for it. That class was by far one of my favorites, and I feel that it was because the teachers not only worked well together, but as a student with a disability, it did not feel like my disability was there. It was such an amazing experience, and I hope that I can introduce co-teaching to the school that I get hired at! I think co-teaching is very underlooked, and something that should be introduced in more schools. I can’t wait to introduce that change to my future middle school, and I look forward to seeing how that change will progress overtime!

I feel like all of my life, I have struggled both internally, and externally with myself. However, I feel that doing things like partaking in this internship with Adoption Choices has helped me to not only become a better writer, but to also learn more about adoption. I know that as a future teacher, that I will have students in my class who are adopted, and I want to be able to support them in any way that I can. I have learned so much through my short time with Adoption Choices, and I know that I will take what I have learned, and use it for the rest of my life. Coming into my internship, all that I really knew about adoption was that it was a choice for birth mothers, and basically whatever happened happened. Through my time in this internship, I learned that this is very far from the truth. There are a wide variety of birth mothers, and adoptive families that have been through a lot. No two situations are the same, and that’s what makes the adoption process so interesting and wonderful. Adoption is so much more than what I thought it was, and I would encourage anybody to partake in this internship, regardless of the level of knowledge they may have about adoption. I will be a better teacher because of my time writing for Adoption Choices, and I know that I can be able to better understand anyone that is having a tough time with their adoption, regardless of their age. Thank you to Rachel, Lisa, Patience, and the entire team of Adoption Choices, for allowing me this amazing opportunity to write for such a wonderful organization! I will never forget about my time, and I look forward to helping others who have been adopted!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about me! I cannot wait to see where life takes me next!

“Keep Smiling”, Jason Legasse

As we look ahead to a brighter future for our world and our companies, we know that this new generation of students and graduates will help get us there. If you or someone you know is interested in writing for Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, we are regularly accepting interns. Our interns research and share 1-3 articles a week to be published across our adoption network. Internships with Adoption Choices offer future business leaders the experience they need and provide hands-on editorial experience.

Once again, thank you Jason!!

 

Blog

Adoption Choices Appreciates Melissa Benedek

July 30, 2020 No Comments

National Intern Day

Today is National Intern Day!! And Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri is sending a special THANK YOU to our writing interns. National Intern Day was created to recognize all the college students and graduates testing the professional waters across the country as interns. Internships offer future business leaders the experience they need to succeed in their related field.

Interns with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri research, write, and share valuable information, tips, advice, news, stories, and more for our adoption network! Given several adoption topics to choose from, they spend hours collecting the most up to date, essential information and build an article. It’s more than just an article though, it’s a tool for birth mothers and adoptive families to be able to find Adoption Choices on the web, share resources, connect within the adoption community, and help understand the adoption process. We are sending Melissa Benedek a great big THANK YOU – today and everyday for all the hard work you share with us!

Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus. 

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

As we look ahead to a brighter future for our world and our companies, we know that this new generation of students and graduates will help get us there. If you or someone you know is interested in writing for Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, we are regularly accepting interns. Our interns research and share 1-3 articles a week to be published across our adoption network. Internships with Adoption Choices offer future business leaders the experience they need and provide hands-on editorial experience.

Once again, thank you Melissa!!

Blog

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

July 27, 2020 No Comments

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

Birth mothers know that when selecting the best family to adopt their baby, there are many options. All of these have their own pros and cons, and need to be carefully researched. This will help you see which type of adoption best fits the life you want for you and your baby.

Adoption Choices of Kansas wants to highlight  the story of a woman named Monica. Her adoption journey illustrates single parent adoption success.

Monica’s Story 

Monica is a 34-year-old woman. She has been trying to have a child for 18 months. She tried via a donor, but without success. When she was looking into her other options, she found adoption and began to start a journey that changed her life forever. 

She knew that being a single adoptive mother would be difficult, but she was motivated and wanted to become a parent more than anything. So, she took her decision seriously. She thought through everything and became serious about her finances. She saved up her money and created an adoptive parent profile. 

Many birth mothers rejected her, but she still didn’t give up. She had come too far and truly believed her adoption story would be successful. When her attorney showed her picture to a birth mother who was rejecting many other adoptive parents, Monica had 2.5 out of 3 traits on the birth mother’s criteria list. The birth mother decided that Monica would be the best fit for her baby. Monica could not contain her excitement! She agreed to meet her potential child’s birth mother and got along with her right away. Then, nine months later — she met her baby — her beautiful and healthy boy.

Monica knew that her son would have questions as he grew older, and she was ready to tackle those when the appropriate time came. She and her son’s birth mother agreed to a semi-open adoption, which allowed Monica to send pictures, letters and updates through a secure, confidential portal called ChildConnect.

Why is Monica’s Story Successful? 

What makes Monica’s story a single parent adoption success is that she never gave up. No matter what she faced, she persevered and followed her dreams to parenthood. If you are a birth mother considering placing your baby with a single adoptive parent, know that this is a wonderful decision! Single adoptives are extremely dedicated, loving and often more financially stable and fully committed to the adoption journey. 

Single Parent Adoption Works! 

Single parents can succeed in raising your child, and Monica’s story is proof! Single parents genuinely care about your child. Any single mom or dad would be incredibly lucky to adopt your baby! The next single parent adoption success story could be about your adoption! Remember to please see the links below on Monica’s story, along with a list of things to know about single parent adoption. 

Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouriserves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena Collegein Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!

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