Birth Mother Blog

Positive Adoption Language: Does it Matter Which Phrase I Use?

Positive Adoption Language: Does it Matter Which Phrase I Use?

 By Talia Washington

Can rephrasing a sentence change someone’s life? You may think this a dramatic statement. No way switching a couple of words around could make a significant change to anyone? Positive Adoption Language (PAL) is one of the ways to show respect to people pregnant and considering adoption and everyone involved in the adoption process. PAL is proof that switching negative terminology can change someone’s life. Read for more information about positive adoption language and why the phrases you use matter.

What is Positive Adoption Language?

Positive Adoption Language (PAL) refers to the choice of expressions and terminology concerning adoption. Incorporating positive language requires refraining from phrases like ‘give up’ when referring to the child. Using positive language is vital during the adoption process. The lack of PAL unknowingly projects stigma that causes mothers to move away from considering adoption.


Therefore simply saying place instead of giving up could be the deciding factor when speaking to someone dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

Incorporating positive adoption language can sound like:

  • Speaking with adoptive parents: “I understand you’re hoping to adopt a child.”
  • Talking to the child: “We chose to take you home with us.”
  • Speaking with the birth mother: “Adoption is one of many options when dealing with an unplanned pregnancy which can be challenging and emotional.

Replacing Negative Adoption Language

Some believe phrases like giving a child up for adoption and considering adoption for my baby are interchangeable. If you mentioned both two phrases, people would know that they meant the same thing.

Using positive language in place of negatively connotated phrasing makes everyone involved in the adoption process feel recognized and acknowledged.

Positive examples when talking about adoption include phrases like place, adoptive parents, birth parents etc. You would not say things like ‘real’ or ‘fake’ parents. As you would avoid referring to an adopted child as an orphan unless completely relevant and could not be rephrased


Negative Adoption Language – “Put up” or Place?

What is the difference between using put up or place? The two phrases mean the same thing in this context. If used in the context of adoption “put up” has a negative connotation that implies the child is being put away. Adoption is a complicated and sensitive subject, so it’s best to try and judge the scenario and context of the sentence.

Here is an example of put-up being used positively vs. negatively:

  • “You’re just putting up/placing the kid?” vs. “You’re thinking of putting/placing your child up for adoption?”

Placing a child for adoption is not the same scenario as putting up or placing a ketchup bottle on the table. Adoption Choices of Missouri understand the importance and how much is at stake. The importance of this decision makes it harmful to use words like “put up” when referring to adoption.

Tips & Tricks –  Help with Positive Adoption Language

  1. The use of the phrases like “give up” insinuates that the woman is giving up something. Do your very best to avoid making the birth mother feel judged. Adoption Choices of Missouri understands that birth mothers are people working through unplanned pregnancies.
  2.  Listen to the phrasing other people use in the conversation. If you’re unsure of what is appropriate, listen to the others. Does the birth mother use phrases like ‘give up’ or ‘adopted parents’ while speaking?
  3. Learn more about positive adoption language and how word choice could affect others. Think about the connotation (how the word/phrase sounds) vs. the denotation (what the word/phrase means).
  4. Think about the stereotypes surrounding adoption in Missouri. Acknowledge the stigma surrounding adoption, are the words you’re using spreading or aligning with negative stereotypes? If so, rethink your choice of words!
  5. Using place or put up instead of ‘give up’ when referring to the adoption process may be the difference between a birth mother deciding to place a child for adoption. Use discretion and empathy when dealing with anyone during the adoption process.
  6. Understand that language is incredibly important and try your best! No one is perfect – become educated on the proper terms and put them to use.
  7. Educating yourself on positive adoption language is a process. It takes time to unlearn harmful or unhelpful lessons. Be patient with yourself and refrain from being rude or disrespectful to birth mothers at all times.
  8. Positive adoption language benefits everyone involved in the adoption process including the adoption agency, adoptive parents, and birth mothers.

Impact of PAL

It is possible to change someone’s life by using PAL. In fact, you may be changing a child’s life by rephrasing your initial thoughts. Making someone feel uncomfortable or disrespected while discussing adoption plans or the adoption process could mean a completely different life for an innocent child.

Adoption Choices of Missouri handles situations without judgment. If you or someone you know is struggling with an unplanned pregnancy, contact us. You and your adoption agency will work to ensure the best adoption plan for you and your baby.

Birth Mother Blog

Misconceptions About Missouri Birth Fathers

Misconceptions About Missouri Birth Fathers

By Alexis Diamond

Though integral to the adoption process, birth fathers are often slighted when it comes to being properly recognized. We primarily hear of the struggles endured by the birth mother, but there is little heard of the birth father, which leads to stereotyping and harmful assumptions being created to fill in those cognitive gaps. While little is known about the truth of birth fathers’ experiences, resources exist to boost the public’s awareness. If you are pregnant considering adoption and want to learn more about the truth regarding birth fathers, then continue reading as adoption agencies such as Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to debunk these myths and misconceptions.

5 Misconceptions About Missouri Birth Fathers

For any person, giving a child up for adoption can be stressful, so if you are a woman considering adoption in Missouri and have worries regarding pre-existing misconceptions, continue reading to understand why these stereotypes hold no merits.

  • Birth Fathers Want No Involvement in the Adoption Process
  • Birth Fathers Are Uninvolved with Missouri Birth Mothers
  • Birth Fathers Provide No Support in the Missouri Adoption Process
  • Birth Fathers Are Unimportant in the Missouri Adoption Process
  • Birth Fathers Don’t Need the Same Support as the Birth Mother

Birth Father Misconception 1-2

  1. Birth Fathers Want No Involvement in the Adoption Process      

Though there are those who do not want involvement, all birth father’s are given the right to be involved in the adoption process. Options are available for the inclusion of all parties, which can include an open adoption, meaning that the birth father is granted the right to remain in the child’s life. It is important to recognize that though this stereotype exists, it should not affect the birth fathers who want to be a part of it. For those concerned, adoption agencies in Missouri will ensure that both the birth mother and father are aware of the rights they have and are well-informed through each step of the process.

  1. Birth Fathers Are Uninvolved with Missouri Birth Mothers

It is a common misconception that following an adoption, the birth father and mother separate. While there is the possibility of this happening, the decision lies between both partners, and does not always result in separation. Keeping this in mind is important when considering adoption options, especially in regards to open adoption in Missouri.

Birth Father Misconception 3-4

  1. Birth Fathers Provide No Support in the Missouri Adoption Process

Those considering adoption for my baby can understand the stress that can go into the adoption process. However, though it may be worrisome, it is essential that those involved are given the proper support needed through each step of their journey. It is commonly perceived that birth fathers do not support the birth mothers; however, this does not characterize all of them. There are many birth fathers who recognize that their responsibility is to care for the birth mother alongside themselves, and while there are those who choose not to provide support, there are plenty who do.

  1. Birth Fathers Are Unimportant in the Missouri Adoption Process

Referring back to the previous misconception, it is noteworthy that birth fathers are often tasked with caring and supporting the birth mother. This alone is a greatly important responsibility for birth fathers to take on. Alongside this, they also have the job of choosing adoption agencies and adoption families to avoid all of the stress being placed on the birth mother. Therefore, birth fathers are essential to the adoption process.

Birth Father Misconception 5

  1. Birth Fathers Don’t Need the Same Support as the Birth Mother

Emotionally, the adoption process can be very tasking. Though the birth mother needs counseling following the adoption, birth fathers also require the same care, but are often neglected. Unfortunately, they begin to feel that their emotions might need to take a backseat, which could contribute to this misconception; however, it’s important to recognize that both the birth father and mother both need counseling through the process.

Understanding the Truth About Missouri Birth Fathers and Dismissing the Misconceptions

Misconceptions that are widely spread can be hard to dismiss. It is unfortunate that they exist; however, resources such as those provided by Adoption Choices of Missouri work to inform others of the truth when faced with difficult situations such as an unplanned pregnancy. It’s important to keep in mind that many birth fathers would like to be involved in the adoption process, and though exceptions to this situation exist, they should not apply to all birth fathers.

If you are a birth mother who is pregnant considering adoption, reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri to help you through this process. We can assist through every step, and aid in the creation of an adoption plan. We can inform you of all options you have, and make the adoption process much easier. Contact us early at your earliest convenience if you have an unplanned pregnancy and we can help you discover the options you have moving forward.

Birth Mother Blog

Finalizing Adoption Steps and Responsibilities

Finalizing Adoption Steps and Responsibilities

By: Talia Washington

You are nearing the closing of a life-changing process. After a careful guided review of the adoption plan your unplanned pregnancy will be in the care of a loving, like-minded adoptive family. You have made a courageous and selfless decision, but the adoption process does not end with selecting the adoptive parents. Let’s discuss adoption finalization: finalizing adoption steps and responsibilities for adoption in Missouri.

Adoption Finalization for Birth Mothers

Birth mothers, you are essentially near the end of the adoption process.

Your last tasks include acquiring the consent of both birth parents to terminate parental rights. This is legally required before the child can be adopted. It is important to note that parental rights cannot legally be released before the child is two days (48 hours old).

The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) is enforced to keep the child safe while traveling throughout different states. Safety regulations such as ICPC ensure the adoption is legal with the systems that are put in place.

The final steps of the adoption process are legitimizing the adoption. A judge will conduct the final hearing and sign the adoption decree. The adoptive family as well as the birth mother are expected to attend. After the hearing, the adoptive family will be granted legal custody of the child.

There are processes placed to keep your child safe and the adoption process legal. The court hearing will be the final step before taking the child home for the adoptive parents. It is the judge’s decision that will determine whether or not to sign the child will be adopted. The judge will then sign the adoption decree if they find the family appropriate.

Counseling and emotional support will be accessible during and after the adoption finalization. Financial support may be provided based on need and resources.

What Adoptive Parents Need to Know

The birth mother signing over parental rights is not adoption finalization for adoptive parents. Adoptive parents will be present during the final hearing. When the finalization process ends they will be allowed to take the child home.

Here is a list of some things adoptive parents may need during the adoption finalization process. Adoptive parents need to know:

  • Your court appearance may call need for a finalizing attorney and your adoption agency. Adoption Choices of Missouri will be present in court in order to speak with the judge.
  • The judge will swear in everyone present from the adoptive family. The questioning will involve parenting and commitment. If the judge has a speech or other concerns, then it will be spoken.
  • The judge determines whether the adoption takes place. If the decision is in the adoptive parents’ favor they will be issued a Missouri certificate of adoption. At the end, the judge will issue your Missouri certificate of adoption.
  • Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) ensures that adopted children are safe traveling throughout states. 50 states have been contracted on this agreement. These rules must be abided by, even if they are adopting in-state.
  • Adoptive parents will be required to be present for home visits up to six times a month after the adoption. These are mandatory visits to check in on the health and safety of the child.

The Final Steps Summary – Adoption Agencies in Missouri

  • Terminating parental rights
  • Court proceedings
  • Adoption decree
  • Post-placement visitation
  • Counsel and support for birth mothers

Ultimately, after these are complete the adoption is complete. The adoptive parents can begin the journey of parenthood. You can know that you made the best decision for your child and (if decided in the adoption plan) contact the child. Giving a child up for adoption can be an emotional, upsetting, exciting, and somewhat demanding process for all parties. You have reached the end now, and the child is now placed in a loving, stable, and growth-inspiring home.

We understand that this can be an emotional and challenging journey, and our goal is to ensure that you feel empowered, informed, and supported throughout this important step. Our full-service Missouri adoption agency will guide you through the legal procedures, answer your questions, and connect you with resources to assist you in making the best decision for yourself and your child. We believe that every birth mother deserves a smooth and respectful adoption finalization experience, and we are here to help you achieve just that.

If you have questions or are considering adoption for my baby please contact Adoption Choices of Missouri. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to answer any questions or concerns.

Birth Mother Blog

What Does the Finalization Process Look Like for Birth Mothers and Adoptive Parents in Missouri? 

What Does the Finalization Process Look Like for Birth Mothers and Adoptive Parents in Missouri? 

By Nicole Cunningham

There has been much to do up to this point. For an adoption in Missouri, as the birth mother, you have decided to go through with creating an adoption plan. You have chosen the family that will take your baby home to complete their family. Now what is left to do? What does this process look like in its final form when everything is said and done? As the birth mother and the adoptive family, it looks different for each of you. What does adoption finalization process look like?

The adoption process can be long and overwhelming. Giving up your baby for adoption is not an easy process. It is almost time for the end of your adoption plan. The finalization process for adoption can be different for everyone, just as the adoption process is different for everyone. Similar steps are taken for each birth mother and the adoptive family. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we can help you with the whole adoption process, including the finalization steps.

What is Adoption Finalization? 

Adoption finalization process is what the adoption process looks like for you post-placement. Everything that happens after you give birth to the baby at the hospital and the adoptive family is able to take their new child home with them.  

The Finalization Process of Adoption for the Birth Parents 

The process of adoption finalization for the birth mother includes, after you give birth in the hospital, the adoptive parents and you have already discussed the birth hospital plan. This plan will determine when the adoptive parents are able to take the child home with them. When you are at the hospital, this is where you will give your final consent for them to adopt your baby and sign the final forms. These forms will show that you are terminating your parental rights over the child for the adoptive parents to take full responsibility and gain their parental rights.They will be able to leave the hospital with the baby. You should start the recovery process, getting plenty of rest and allowing yourself to heal. After this, you may need to look into support or counseling post-placement, which we can help assist you with. 

The Finalization Process of Adoption for the Adoptive Parents 

The process of adoption finalization for the adoptive family includes having to wait for their new family member to be born. After the baby is born, the birth mother still wants to go through with the adoption. They will have to fill out the paperwork that you both will sign. This signs over the parental rights to them and allows them to be able to leave with the baby. After they have done everything they need to at the hospital, they will have to go through a court hearing. The birth mother does not need to be there at the hearing. Then they will be able to start adjusting to life with their new child. 

Adoption Post-Placement Communication

Depending on the type of adoption you and the adoptive parents have agreed on determines how much post-placement communication there is. Post-placement communication can look different for everyone. If you choose to do an open adoption, that level of communication will look different than if you and your adoptive parents decide to go with a semi-open or closed adoption.

If you choose to do an open adoption during the adoption process, then you and the adoptive parents will have a higher level of communication- you may even be able to have visits with the child. The semi-open adoption usually involves the exchanging of photos, emails, but there is usually not any face-to-face visit post-placement. With a closed adoption, both birth mother and adoptive family rarely have any in person contact with one another. 

Adoption Post-Placement Self-Care

As the birth mother, you will need to make sure you are taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally, after you deliver the baby, try to take time for yourself. Your body will be in recovery, so taking it easy is essential and getting plenty of rest. It can be difficult for you mentally as well. Giving a child up for adoption is not easy, it can cause quite a bit of stress or depression.

Even though you know that adoption can be a hard choice, that doesn’t make it the wrong one. After the permanent placement and legal termination of parental rights have gone through, the process might never be easy on you. Adoption Choices of Missouri can offer you counseling and emotional support as you may need.

Adoption Finalization with Missouri Adoption Agencies

We know that the adoption process can be difficult for the birth mother and the adoptive family. If you are considering adoption for my baby, just know that you’re doing what is best for the child, and that’s what’s important. We here at Adoption Choices of Missouri can help answer any questions you may still have regarding the adoption process and the finalization steps you will be taking or if you are pregnant considering adoption or have an unplanned pregnancy

Birth Mother Blog Putting baby up for adoption

Putting a Baby Up for Adoption Today in Missouri

Putting a Baby Up for Adoption Today in Missouri

Putting a baby up for adoption through private adoption has been a significant part of the adoption landscape for many years. It involves the placement of a child with adoptive parents through a private agency or attorney, rather than through the foster care system. Over the past two decades, the private adoption process has gone through many notable changes. These changes reflect evolving societal attitudes, advancements in technology, and improvements in adoption practices. Many people have an outdated understanding of what private adoption looks like. If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, you may not know how private adoption has changed. In this article, we will delve into the private adoption process and see how it has transformed in the past two decades. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri is a licensed adoption agency that has been providing adoption services for many years. We’ve seen firsthand how private adoption has changed, and have incorporated those improvements into our own organization. We here at Adoption Choices are here to provide all the information and support you need to navigate adoption in Missouri. As you consider your adoption options, keep us in mind. 

Focus on Birth Parent Support and Counseling

Our society as a whole has come to understand and prioritize mental health far more than in the past. This has impacted adoption practices and brought more attention to the mental health of birth mothers. In the past, birth parent support and counseling services were not as widely available as they are today. Adoption Choices recognizes the importance of emotional support for birth parents throughout the adoption journey. We prioritize birth parent counseling, offering resources and guidance to help birth parents navigate the complex emotions and challenges that arise during the adoption process. These counseling services are not limited to the pre-adoption phase, they extend to the recovery period as well. This ensures that birth parents have ongoing support and access to resources to cope with their feelings and experiences after placement. Adoption can be a mental and emotional challenge, but there are resources available to birth parents that can help.

Embracing Technology and Online Adoption Resources

In the past, the adoption process heavily relied on paper documents, phone calls, and in-person meetings. Today, technology has revolutionized the way adoptive parents and birth parents connect and navigate the process. Adoption websites and online platforms such as ours have become valuable resources for prospective adoptive parents and birth parents. Adoptive parents can create profiles, share their stories, and express their desire to adopt, and birth parents can now explore adoptive family profiles at their convenience, gaining insight into potential matches. Now by simply searching “adoption agencies near me”, you have instant access to information and resources that are specific to your area. 

The digital era has made communication more efficient, enabling adoptive families and birth parents to maintain contact through emails, video calls, and social media platforms. These advancements have not only expedited the matching process but have also enhanced transparency and empowered birth parents to take an active role in selecting the perfect family for their child. Technology has made increased communication and birth parent involvement possible. More information and resources for birth parents looking into adoption is readily available to anyone with questions about adoption. It is now possible to immediately get in contact with nearby adoption agencies to receive guidance that is specifically tailored to you. 

Shift Towards Openness and Ongoing Contact

Two decades ago, closed adoptions were more common, and birth parents often had limited or no contact with their child after placement. In recent years, there has been a significant shift towards openness in adoption, and taking into consideration the choice of the birth mother. Many private adoptions now involve varying degrees of ongoing contact between birth parents and adoptive families. 

Open adoptions can offer benefits to all parties involved. Birth parents can gain reassurance that their child is thriving in a loving environment, while adoptive families can provide their child with information about their birth family. Open communication between birth parents and adoptive families can create a more seamless and emotionally healthy experience for the child as they grow and develop a sense of identity. As a birth mother, you are now able to choose between open, semi-open, or closed adoption, a choice that previously was unavailable. This improvement in adoption practices ensures that you can make your adoption experience just right for you. 

Improving and Modernizing Private Adoption: An Ongoing Effort for Putting a Baby Up for Adoption

The private adoption process has evolved significantly over the past several years. Technology, openness, support services, and birth parent involvement have played pivotal roles in shaping modern adoption practices. Today, the private adoption process is more accessible, transparent, and focused on the well-being of all involved parties. These changes reflect society’s growing appreciation for the importance of honoring birth parents’ choices. They also reflect society supporting birth parent emotional well-being. And ensuring adoptive families are prepared for the lifelong commitment of adopting a child. 

As the private adoption process continues to evolve, it will continue to adapt. This ongoing process ensures we can continue to improve. We have provided support for many pregnant women in Missouri through all of these changes. And we continue to do so. If you are pregnant and considering adoption, reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri today, we are here to help.


Birth Mother Blog

Self-Care Tips During Pregnancy for an Adoption

Self-Care Tips During Pregnancy for an Adoption

By Ryan Yau

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming. If you’re still considering your options for the baby, there are many benefits to choosing adoption. If so, taking care of yourself during pregnancy is one of the most important things to do. Adoption Choices of Missouri can provide you with some self-care advice for your pregnancy.

Prioritizing Your Physical Health

Your physical health should be your top priority during pregnancy. This ensures your baby will be healthy, as well as brighten your mindset. While this seems obvious, you need to make sure your basic needs are fulfilled. Make sure to keep staying hydrated and eating enough nutrients in mind. You should avoid consuming things that may negatively impact your baby, such as alcohol or caffeine. Not only does keeping healthy benefit your baby, but you will also generally feel better in your day-to-day life.

Spending Time with Your Adoption Support and Loved Ones

Having a strong support system greatly benefits self-care. Especially during pregnancy, you’ll want to have people around that you can rely on. This includes people who can help you with physical tasks as well as people who make you feel more comfortable. You may want to find ways to spend quality time with your loved ones, such as going on walks.

Additionally, if you are still considering options for your baby, you can consult loved ones to help make a decision. Though we want the ultimate decision to be up to you, it can still help to consult other opinions.

Taking Time to Relax

Carrying a baby can be physically taxing, so it is good to spend time relaxing or doing nothing in particular. Don’t worry about not being super active during pregnancy. You should take time to engage in activities that bring you joy, but also make sure to get enough rest.

It’s best to avoid activities that take too much physical strain, even if you enjoy them otherwise. Less intense activities can be just as enjoyable and provide much-needed relaxation for your body. Some activities that allow you to relax include taking baths, listening to music, or reading. You can also stay active by going on walks or doing yoga. Furthermore, these activities have the added benefit of letting you be in the sun more, which can boost your mood.

Maintaining a Positive Attitude Throughout Your Adoption Journey

It’s also good to keep a positive outlook during pregnancy. Though pregnancy can certainly be difficult, focus on the positive aspects of carrying a child. For example, you get to experience the unique bond created between mother and child. If it helps, you can think about adoption and how you can give a couple the gift of a child. Despite the stigma that sometimes surrounds adoption, in this way, it is really a selfless act.

Of course, being optimistic about pregnancy is easier said than done. You may experience hormonal changes during pregnancy, which may alter your mood. Part of maintaining a positive attitude is understanding when it becomes too much and seeking necessary medical support. However, you should regardless try to think with a positive framework, as this helps your worldview.

Keeping Your mental Well-Being in Check With One of Our Adoption Counselors

Doing the above can help keep up your mental well-being, but sometimes pregnancy can simply be too much at once. Therefore, it’s good to make sure you have ways to find help if you can’t help yourself on your own. Having loved ones accessible makes for a strong support system, but you can find external support groups if necessary. Being able to talk to others who are going through or have gone through similar things can be very helpful.

Counseling can be another good option to help with your well-being. There’s nothing wrong with getting external help to support your self-care. Ultimately, this can be what’s best for you and your baby.

Create an Adoption Plan

While taking time off and relaxing is very important for a pregnancy, you should also consider planning for your adoption. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you out, so you do not need to go through the adoption process alone. We will provide you with the services of an adoption specialist, who you can go to with any questions about the process. They can also help you create an adoption plan.

Your adoption plan includes the details of your adoption, including medical and financial needs, along with other services like counseling. You may also want to consider the different types of adoption or meeting parents who may want to adopt your child.

If you are a pregnant woman considering adoption for your baby, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you get started on the process.

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Frequently asked questions about adoption

Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption

By Miranda Frank

Giving a child up for adoption involves a lot of decisions, which can be intimidating. In order to make all of these choices, you want to be fully informed, so you probably have questions. Here are a few frequently asked questions about adoption that birth mothers might have, along with some answers. If you have any more questions, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to help. Adoption Choices of Missouri is a licensed adoption agency in Missouri that provides support to pregnant women dealing with unplanned pregnancy. If you are pregnant and considering adoption in Missouri, we want to make sure that you feel supported in your adoption journey. Adoption Choices can be a wonderful resource and source of information.

What Adoption Resources Are Available to Me?

Pregnancy and adoption can be a financial strain. Through Adoption Choices of Missouri, financial assistance is available. This assistance can include medical care, funds for safe housing, and free counseling or mental health care. This assistance can be provided during your pregnancy and through your recovery period.

How does the adoption process impact my rights as a birth mother?

Understanding your rights as a birth mother after adoption can seem complicated and confusing. It is important to understand how your rights might be affected as you make your decision. Throughout the adoption, you will be in control of the decision-making process. You will be able to determine how much contact you would like in the future. Depending on the level of contact, you will then be able to develop relationships with the child and family. To better understand your own situation and concerns about how your rights might be affected, you might need more specific advice or information. We encourage you to reach out to us and consult with an adoption professional.

What rights do birth fathers have in the adoption process?

Every birth parent’s situation is unique. You may be on good terms with the birth father and want them involved, or you might not. In Missouri, the birth father’s rights are dependent on the circumstance. There are some situations where the birth mother does not need the consent of the father. This includes if the father is unknown or out of the picture, for example. In other instances, when the birth father does need to consent, there is the possibility of dispute. If this is the case, you will want to contact an adoption professional about contested adoption.

What does making an adoption plan involve?

When you connect with your birth parent counselor, both of you will work on your adoption plan. This is a document that details your wants and needs for the adoption process. Your adoption plan could include preferences about the adoption family, the type of adoption, a birth plan for the hospital, and more. The plan will be laid out early on, but that does not mean that the first version is final. You might change your mind about some of your choices, and that is perfectly alright. As these changes come up, you can communicate with your counselor to adjust the adoption plan however necessary.

Will I have a say in who the adoptive parents will be?

Yes, adoptive parent profiles will be available for review, with information about the parents and families. There is also the opportunity to get in contact with prospective parents and see if it seems like a good fit. Make your wishes and desires for what the adoptive family will look like known to your birth parent counselor. Those preferences can be noted in your adoption plan and taken into account in the pairing process.

Can I have contact with my child after the adoption is finalized?

You do have the option of keeping in contact with the adoptive family and child after the adoption is finalized. One of the decisions you will make will be the type of contact between you and the family. This contact will be determined by the type of adoption you choose, each of which has a different degree of communication. The relationship with the child and the adoptive parents might be a priority for you. If this is true, consider what type of adoption might be the best fit.

What types of adoption are available?

There are three options, which include open, semi-open, and closed adoption. The benefits of open adoption include the opportunity for you to maintain a high level of communication with the adopting parents and developing a relationship with your child. The other alternatives involve less or no communication with the adoptive family. Each of these options involves different levels of communication and involvement between a birth parent and the parents raising their child.

How do I navigate the legal process of adoption, including paperwork and consent requirements?

Your birth parent counselor will be your guide through most of the adoption process. After deciding you wish to adopt, you will be paired with a counselor to assist in making your plans and decisions. Adoption can be a complicated process, and your counselor will be with you along the way to help simplify the journey. 

How can I handle the grief and emotions that may arise after placing my child for adoption?

One resource available to birth mothers through Adoption Choices of Missouri is counseling and mental health care. Pregnancy and adoption can be challenging emotionally, and seeking additional support can be quite helpful in difficult circumstances. 

How do I handle questions or conversations about adoption with my friends, family, and others?

If you are considering adoption for your baby, you may be facing some worry about how to discuss that decision with others. Putting a child up for adoption can draw a lot of questions and even judgment or criticism from people around you. Focus on your own decisions and motivations when you have these conversations. If you feel secure in the decisions you are making, these interactions will feel more comfortable. 

Navigating the world of adoption can be overwhelming, and it’s natural to have questions along the way. Here we’ve addressed several frequently asked questions that birth mothers commonly have about adoption. We hope that by providing answers and guidance, we can support you in making informed decisions for yourself. If you have any additional questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri. We are here to provide the guidance, support, and information you need to feel confident and empowered throughout your adoption journey. You are not alone, and we are proud to be part of your adoption process.

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Fears Birth Mothers Have Through the Adoption Process

Fears Birth Mothers Have Through the Adoption Process

By Miranda Frank

Choosing adoption can be difficult, and it’s completely normal for birth mothers to have fears and worries along the way. If you are starting your adoption journey, you might not know what to expect, and that uncertainty can create very real fear. Even considering adoption for your baby can be intimidating. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to provide some insights, support, and reassurance. Your fears and concerns are valid, and we understand that putting a child up for adoption involves very complicated decisions. Our team is committed to supporting birth mothers through adoption, providing whatever support and resources you need.

I am afraid of loneliness and judgment

One common fear among birth mothers is that they will be judged by others for their decision to place their child for adoption. You may fear facing criticism or being labeled as “unfit” or “selfish” by those who don’t fully understand your circumstances. Some people still believe that putting a child up for adoption is something to be ashamed of, but that is completely untrue. If this is a concern of yours, it is important to focus on your own motivations and desires. Take the time to understand your decision and feel comfortable with it. This will allow you to separate that choice from those outside voices. 

If you are looking for outside support, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help as well. Members of our team will be there for you throughout your adoption journey to listen and support you. You will be paired with a birth parent counselor who will be there with you through the process. The adoption process can feel like an isolating experience, but you can always find a listening ear with us. 

I am afraid of the financial burden of pregnancy and adoption

All the costs of pregnancy, medical care, transportation, and even housing might seem overwhelming. Adoption Choices of Missouri offers financial support for some pregnancy-related expenses based on your needs. This is another aspect of adoption you will discuss with your adoption counselor. Consider your needs during this time, and maintain clear communication with your counselor to see how you can be supported. 

I am afraid of regretting my decision

Birth mothers may experience fear of regretting their decision to place their child for adoption in the future. They may worry about the emotional impact it may have on them and the grief and loss associated with adoption. It is important that you take time to heal and rest after birth and the adoption. Acknowledge the stress of the process, and own what has been difficult. By accepting and acknowledging any pain or emotional difficulty, you can move through whatever grieving process you need to heal. If you give your decision careful thought and own the loss you experience, you can feel more assurance in your choice. Regret is natural, but if you are confident in your decision, it may only be temporary.

I am afraid of having no control over the adoption process

There may be a fear of losing control over the child’s life and well-being. You may worry about whether the adoptive family will provide the love, care, and opportunities you desire for your child. There may even be fear that you will no longer have a say in your child’s upbringing and future. When you decide to place your baby for adoption, your adoption plan becomes the guideline for that process. When developing this plan, make sure you communicate these fears and what you want for your child. Your desires will be carefully taken into account in this plan.

This will become a guide for the type of home your child will have. You will also have the opportunity to learn more about prospective adoptive parents to ensure that they meet your criteria. Adoption Choices of Missouri can work with you to make sure that your child will be raised in a home you approve of. While giving a child up for adoption might feel like losing some control, know that your desires will be respected.   

If you are considering adoption in Missouri, Adoption Choices of Missouri has been providing support to pregnant women in Missouri for many years. Reach out to us by call, text, or through our site, and tell us all about your concerns. No matter what your situation is, we are here to understand and to help.


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Addressing Fears About Open Adoption

Addressing Fears About Open Adoption

By Lily Spertus

If you are a pregnant woman considering adoption for your baby, you may be curious about open adoption. Open adoption is an increasingly popular choice for birth mothers considering adoption in Missouri. In an open adoption, birth mothers and adoptive parents create a relationship with one another and maintain ongoing communication. Within open adoption, levels of contact and involvement of the birth mother with the adoptive family can vary. As with all forms of adoption, the decision to have an open adoption is difficult. It is important to understand that birth mothers considering an open adoption might have fears or concerns. Adoption agencies in Missouri can support you through this decision and your adoption journey. In this article, we will address some common fears around open adoption in Missouri

“My child will hate me and won’t want to meet me.”

It is understandable to worry about how your child will feel about you in an open adoption. However, it is important to note that having an open adoption can help create a healthy, supportive relationship between you as a birth mother and your child. As your child gets older, they will be able to understand your love and sacrifice that enabled them to grow up in a stable environment. Communication between you and your child after open adoption also adds to their sense of identity and means that you can be there to answer questions they might have. Lastly, if your baby begins their life with their adoptive parents and birth parents maintaining a relationship, this will be the only family dynamic they know. If you are involved from the beginning, it is unlikely they will feel hatred towards you.

“My role in my child’s life will be replaced by their adoptive parents.”

In an open adoption, you will play an irreplaceable role in your child’s life as their birth mother—no one can replace that. Adoptive parents can provide a loving and supportive home for your child to thrive in. Despite this, only you can give your child the unique sense of identity that comes with being close to one’s origins. Adoptive parents agreeing to an open adoption will understand the value your perspective brings to the development of the child, and they will involve you as much as you would like. Open adoption is essentially a collaboration—birth mothers and adoptive parents will work together to best meet their child’s needs. 

“I will not have a say in the life of my child.”

Open adoption is a great option if you are looking to maintain some level of involvement with your child. During the adoption process in Missouri, you and the adoptive parents will work to create an agreed-upon plan that establishes your involvement in your child’s life. This could include having input on some decisions regarding your child’s upbringing. Additionally, if you are giving a child up for adoption, you will work with adoption agencies to select adoptive parents that match your values. The level of involvement you have with your child post-adoption will be tailored to your unique circumstances and comfort levels. You deserve to feel respected during the adoption process and within your child’s adoptive family. 

“I will feel constant guilt and regret if I maintain involvement with my child.”

Adoption is a hard decision for anyone, and it is natural for you to feel a wide array of emotions. For some, open adoption can actually help make you feel more comfortable and even lessen feelings of guilt or regret. Keeping in contact with your child means that you will get to see them thrive as they grow up. You will see their happiness and their support in their adoptive family and feel as though you can be a positive influence in their life. This can give you peace of mind and satisfaction with your choice of adoption. By choosing open adoption, you should be proud of your selflessness and investment in your child’s future. 

“I won’t be able to move forward and find a path to healing.”

Choosing adoption is deeply personal. It is completely understandable that post-adoption, you will want to move forward with your own life and heal. Open adoption can allow for a sense of closure as you will be able to see how your child flourishes in their healthy environment. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you on your journey to healing during and after the adoption by providing counseling or helping you find a support group. You deserve to feel good about your decision and achieve your own personal goals in life. Open adoption can be a stepping stone in finding your way.

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What Happens at the Hospital if I’m Giving My Baby Up for Adoption?

What Happens at the Hospital if I’m Giving My Baby Up for Adoption?

By Miranda Frank

If you’re facing the complicated decision of giving a child up for adoption, understanding what to expect during your time at the hospital is crucial. What happens before, during, and after delivery might seem like a mystery. The hospital experience can be overwhelming, so learning about the process is one way to feel more grounded and secure during this time. We aim to provide you with valuable insights and information to help you navigate this sensitive period with confidence and peace of mind. So, let’s delve into the details and explore the hospital arrangements and support available to you as you embark on your adoption journey. 

If you are considering adoption in MissouriAdoption Choices of Missouri is an agency that will provide assistance to you every step of the way. We are always here to answer questions and consult with you about your personal adoption process. We believe that you should be empowered to make whatever decisions you feel are best, and our agency aims to support you in that. 

How will I Prepare for My Delivery at the Hospital?

Before you go into labor or visit the hospital, you will consult with the adoption agency to develop a birth plan. This can also be called a hospital plan and is an important step. This will be part of the process whether you are consulting with Adoption Choices of Missouri or another adoption agency in Missouri. You will develop this plan to lay out how you want the hospital visit and delivery to proceed. There are a number of decisions to make about that window of time that you will consult with the agency about. The birth plan can act as a set of guidelines for you, the agency, the hospital staff, and the adoptive family. 

What is included in the Hospital Adoption Plan?

The hospital plan contains whatever you want to prioritize, but here are a few examples of possible decisions to consider:

  • Who will be in the delivery room? You can decide if you would prefer to be alone or if you would like to include others there. This might include the birth father, the adoptive family, or anyone else you might want to support you through delivery. If you wish to have the adoptive family there but not in the room, the hospital might provide another space for them to stay during the birth.
  • Who will cut the cord? Some people consider the cutting of the umbilical cord to be an important moment. You might want to do it yourself or give that responsibility to an adoptive parent.
  • Where should the baby stay after birth? After giving birth, you may want to keep the baby nearby, or you might choose to have the baby stay with the adoptive family. You can also choose who you want to be the first to hold the baby and if you wish to breastfeed or not.
  • How should the baby be named? Consider if you want to name the baby yourself, leave that decision to the adoptive family, or work together to choose a name.

In an Adoption, What Happens Before and During Delivery?

Before delivery, you will want to review your birth plan to make sure you are still confident in your decisions. If you are working with Adoption Choices of Missouri, we will continue to check in with you up until delivery to answer any questions or provide support. If you need to make any changes to your hospital plan, let your adoption specialist know, and it will be revised. There will also be paperwork to fill out and sign after the birth, so make sure you have all the information you need and are aware of what those documents entail.

What Happens in an Adoption Post-Delivery

After delivering a baby, a hospital will typically keep you for at least 48 hours. This is true if you underwent surgery such as a C-section or if it was a vaginal birth. You may also request to leave before that rest period is over if that is what you want. Based on what decisions you have already made in your adoption plan, you may have no further contact with the child and adoptive family. If you have chosen to pursue an open adoption in Missouri, you will continue to keep in touch with the family and build those relationships. 

Pregnancy is a personal experience and can be a complicated journey. We want to help make that process as stress-free and comfortable as possible. If you have questions about any specifics of adoption and are considering adoption for your baby, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri. To get in touch with us, you can contact us through our site or via call or text.