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What is Adoption? | Get Help for Giving Up a Child for Adoption in Missouri

What is Adoption? | Adoption in Missouri

By Sofia Becker

As a birth mother who is looking into adoption in Missouri, you might have a lot of questions. After all, adoption is a huge world to navigate, and giving a child up for adoption is a big decision. If you’re thinking to yourself, “I’m considering adoption for my baby, but I need help with understanding adoption,” we at Adoption Choices of Missouri would love to help you understand the definition and history of adoption.

What is Adoption?

In Webster’s dictionary, to adopt means “to take by choice into a relationship.” Adoption is, by choice, a voluntary action for many adoptive parents. That is the easiest definition that we can go by. For everyone involved in the adoption process, the word itself means different things. Ranging from becoming the happiest family ever to having the best childhood ever, adoption changes everyone’s life in a different way. 

“Adoption” can also mean different things to people. To someone who has had a closed adoption or anything related to that, it might have negative connotations to them depending on their experience. But to the ones who are and have been open about their adoptions, they have learned to embrace their own identity for themselves and not be ashamed; they are able to talk about the immeasurable love that their birth mothers had for them in giving them their best chance at having a beautiful childhood and good life. 

It is also important to understand that “adoptive” means “made or acquired by adoption,” which refers to parents who have adopted a child. One should only use this term during the adoption process to aid with understanding the different terms. After the process is complete, this term should be dropped.

A Brief History of Adoption

Before 1851, adoption wasn’t legal – there were no laws that actually protected adopted children. Folks would adopt in secret to avoid the stigma of illegitimacy. If the child was unwanted or the birth mother was deemed unfit to raise them, children almost always found themselves in an orphanage or with extended family who were willing to take them. The adoptions that did take place usually held the best interests of the child in mind and were taken seriously. 

In 1851, Congress enacted the Adoption of Children Act to make adoptions legal and safe for children. Subsequently, organizations began popping up striving to help adopted children in any way possible. In the 1970s, agencies took over and adoptions reached a peak. Adoption Choices of Missouri was formed in 2006 or thereabouts to help facilitate adoptions better. 

Impact of Adoption 

Adoption impacts you, the birth mother, in different ways. It’s often a hard decision to struggle with and can be traumatic. It’s normal to deal with a lot of emotions all at the same time – especially loss. Some people view adoption as the “easy way out”. You might feel guilt or shame for having given up your child and it might affect your other relationships in a negative way. 

To understand how to deal with the impact that it has on you, it is important for you to find the support that you need to help you through the transition. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you learn to deal with the impact of adoption in a healthy way and connect you with support groups. 

What is Adoption in Missouri?

Coming into the world of adoption can be a whirlwind. Understanding the definition and history of adoption can help with understanding its impact on the adoptive family and the adoptee. Please know that if you have any questions, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you.

 

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The Two Major Benefits of a Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri

The Two Major Benefits of a Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri

By Jason Legasse

As you may already know, there are three main types of adoption in Missouri for you to choose from: open, semi-open, and closed adoptions. Open adoptions typically involve the highest level of communication and updates in the adoption triad. Closed adoptions may not involve any communication or disclose information about the adoption process. 

As a birth mother giving a child up for adoption, you may feel drawn toward either of these types of adoption. You are honestly looking for something in the middle. The good news is that the middle option exists! Semi-open adoptions have plenty of great traits about them, and today we would like to share two major benefits of a semi-open adoption with you. 

Benefit #1: You May Not Feel as much Pressure 

Consider this scenario: a birth mother who is expecting enters her pregnancy with her heart set on placing her baby for adoption. Upon Googling “considering adoption for my baby”, however, she only sees that adoptions are either open or closed, rather than being informed of an “in-between” adoption type. She alerts her family of her options, and they suggest she go one way or another. None of the birth mother’s family members suggest a semi-open adoption to her, which puts extra pressure on her. But, then the birth mother reached out to Adoption Choices of Missouri, who said: 

“You do not have to choose between an open or closed adoption. There is another type of adoption that exists with traits in between the two. This option may be a perfect fit for you! This is called a semi-open adoption. We would love to tell you more about it!”

Now that this birth mother has been informed, she knows that she has a third type of adoption to consider. She decided to look into a semi-open adoption and was able to allow her adoption process to go at her pace. 

Now, for you, you may be wondering: What exactly does a semi-open adoption entail? What makes a semi-open adoption the perfect balance? We will have to take a look! 

Benefit #2: Semi-Open Adoptions Allow For a Perfect Level of Communication!

What thoughts were going through your head with this scenario? Did you know that a semi-open adoption is not only low pressure, but it also helps foster communication? It’s true! 

As we discussed in our scenario, birth mothers feel a lot of pressure in thinking that their adoption can either be open or closed. For an open adoption, a birth mother could feel the need to have extremely frequent check-ins. Sure, she wants to check in on her baby. But she does not want to have to feel like she has to every single day. An open adoption could also mean a continuous effort on your part to maintain good communication with your baby’s adoptive family. On the other hand, closed adoption may prevent connection with the birth mother entirely, forcing her to worry constantly about her baby.

With a semi-open adoption, communications are typically somewhere in the middle. You may desire to check in with your baby a few times a year, just to see how things are going. You also may want to have a ZOOM call with your baby and his or her adoptive family. Lots of birth mothers consider semi-open adoptions because the level of communication that they desire is perfect for them. Communication is steadily maintained and can be as frequent or as infrequent as you want. Maybe you just want to communicate on holidays or for special events and occasions. Still, you don’t want it to be so infrequent that you develop a fear of missing out. Semi-open adoptions are perfect if you are looking for that perfect level of communication with your baby’s adoptive family.

Is a Semi-Open Adoption Truly Beneficial?

Absolutely! As we discussed, two major benefits of a semi-open adoption are the lack of pressure on birth mothers and the level of communication maintained within the adoption triad. These benefits could make semi-open adoption the perfect fit for you! There are countless other benefits of a semi-open adoption – including the increased number of possible visitations. However, the level of communication is perhaps the most beneficial. 

Birth mothers who do not want to feel stuck may find that a semi-open adoption may be the best fit for them. To learn more about the amazing benefits of a semi-open adoption, feel free to contact your caseworker at Adoption Choices of Missouri directly below. We wish you the best of luck with your adoption. We hope that you will take the time to look into semi-open adoptions and their countless benefits.  

 

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Choosing an Adoptive Family for Your Baby

A fulfilling part of the adoption process is choosing the adoptive family for your baby. Adoption Choices of Missouri only works with families who are licensed to adopt a baby in the United States. Our adopting families have all been pre-screened and are ready to provide a safe, stable, and loving home. No matter what you are looking for, we believe there is a family out there that is a perfect fit for you and your baby.

To decide which adoptive family is the best fit, consider these questions:

  • Are you open to a single parent, or do you prefer a two-parent household?
  • Are you open to a gay, lesbian, and/or transgender couple?
  • Do you prefer a family in a specific location?
  • What kind of family values and views on parenting are you looking for in a family?
  • Is the family’s religion or spiritual beliefs important to you?
  • Do you prefer a family that already has children or plans to have/adopt more?
  • Is it important to you that the family have a large extended family they are close with?
  • What hobbies and interests do you want the family to have?
  • Does it matter to you whether one or both parents work outside the home?

We can help with these decisions and help you find your adoptive family! Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri  for more information Serving Expectant Parents Statewide (in Missouri and Kansas) Expectant Parent Hotline (24/7): 1-877-903-4488

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Signs You’ll Make a Great Mother

Whether you’ve been thinking about starting a family for a while or have just begun to ponder the possibility, you may be asking yourself: do you have what it takes to be a great mother? To answer this, let’s explore what it means to be a mother. Some women know intuitively, but there are others who want to learn more about motherhood. For instance, those who are about  to become moms.

It is important to remember that no one is perfect, including mothers. It can be a challenge to set unrealistic expectations that you think need to be met to be a great mom.But keep in mind, you’re human, and all you can do is try your best. Don’t compare yourself to others and try not to feed into pressures about what a great mother “should” or “should not” be. You might be a lot more prepared to be a mother than you believe, and once on your motherhood journey, you’ll learn and grow with your child. The bottom line is: don’t let doubts stand in the way of becoming the best mom you want to be.

If you are Hoping to Adopt and you want more information, call us at 1-877-903-4488. In the meantime, here are some signs you’ll make a great mother:

You love and accept yourself. Before embarking on your motherhood journey, it’s important to know your worth and confidence. You accept and embrace your flaws that don’t define you but make you unique. You realize that even though life throws many ups and downs, you have an inner optimism that won’t waver. Loving and accepting yourself will help you love your child unconditionally and teach them to be confident. Practicing self-care is another essential part that benefits self-acceptance. Try not to put your well-being on the back burner, whether it be your body or mind. Setting the time to take care of yourself will help you nurture your child and be present in the joys of motherhood.

You are patient. You know how to listen and understand the importance of hearing what others have to say before jumping to conclusions or making decisions. Having self-control in your work and personal life demonstrates to yourself that you are self-aware. Self-awareness helps you not to become easily overwhelmed by small things, which is a part of motherhood. Children make mistakes and accidents happen. Everyone makes mistakes, and knowing how to handle them will positively shape you being a mother. Practicing measures of patience shows your strong level of responsibility and mindfulness. Instead of immediately wanting to take the route of reprimanding, you know how to take the time to assess situations calmly before explaining your perspective and the proper steps to take. Demonstrating patience in your life will help to instill that value in your child as they grow.

You are devoted. Being committed to your work, your relationships and your hobbies show that you do things to the fullest. As a dedicated individual, you also make realistic choices and goals that are feasible and not impossible to achieve. You know that becoming a mother will push you to practice this virtue of being devoted even more, where you’ll help your child grow and learn in a safe, loving environment. You also know that it is essential to balance such devotion between your child as a mother, yourself as a partner and yourself as a friend. It is healthy to maintain equal amounts of time in all your roles as a person and remember that you, too, are entitled to a reciprocated commitment from your partner, your family, and friends who care about you.

You know how to ask for help. Sometimes life can get hectic, and not everything goes as planned. Maybe your job promotion fell through, or your travel plans got canceled last minute. Regardless of the reason, it can be easy to get overwhelmed, especially about things that are out of your control. It is important not to overbook yourself and to remember that you’re not superhuman. Once on your motherhood journey, you know that there will be exhausting times, but that you can comfortably reach out to your partner, family and friends for an extra hand for little and big things. Communicating for help is an additional value that can be instilled in your child as they see their mother practice such an action.

You know how to place boundaries. Whether it’s in the workplace or at home, you take charge of your responsibilities. You’re able to say “yes” or “no” when dealing with matters without being indecisive. As you grow as a mother, you can use your skills from experience to set boundaries for your child, which will teach them to follow the rules and the values that your family exercises.

Signs You’ll Make a Great Mother

These are just some signs you’ll make a great mother. The list could go on. If you’re thinking about starting your motherhood journey, remember that every person is different, and it is okay if you don’t believe you have all of these personal characteristics mentioned. You likely have the traits to be a great mother! It is also okay to be a little anxious about becoming a mother, and that is natural. That shows that you’re seriously thinking about what it means to have and raise a child. Your life will change in surprising ways as a mother, and with a strong support network by your side, you’ll be able to face the challenges along the way and embrace the journey.

If you are Hoping to Adopt and you want more information, call us at 1-877-903-4488.