Birth Mother Blog

Missouri Adoption Process with an Adoption Specialists or Caseworker

Missouri Adoption Process with an Adoption Specialists or Caseworker

When a pregnant woman contacts Adoption Choices of Missouri an adoption specialists or caseworker is often the first person she will make contact with. An adoption social worker is the key team member in the Missouri adoption process. He/she will facilitate all the logistical and medical requirements of the adoption as well as provide counseling and emotional support. She will also provide resources for any additional support you need throughout the unplanned pregnancy, the birth, and the adoption post placement.

What is an Adoption Specialist?

Adoption Choices of Missouri’s adoption specialists are licensed social workers and certified professionals. What does this mean? First, it means they have the education, knowledge, and experience to help birth parents and adoptive families through adoption. And second, it means they are bound to state and federal laws that surround adoption and will ensure the safety – legally, medically, morally and ethically – for the adoption triad.

It takes years of education, training, and certifications to be a licensed social worker for adoption. It typically begins with a 4 year degree in social work followed by graduate studies. They often study child psychology, human behavior, social sciences, and diversity – among other important topics.

Adoption Process with a Missouri Adoption Specialist

Your caseworker will go over all your pregnancy options. He/she will discuss your parenting options, terminating your pregnancy and whether or not this is an option for you, and your adoption options. When you understand your choices and your rights – and you’re ready to choose adoption, your caseworker will walk through the adoption process with you.

You will be required to provide a positive pregnancy test indicating that you are in fact pregnant. You will be required to fill out intake paperwork that provides the agency with more information about you – personally, medically, mentally, your family, history, background, hopes and goals. Your caseworker will help coordinate the services you need. He/she will make sure you are living in a safe, comfortable environment. If you are not, we can support you. If you need transportation to and from appointments or work – your caseworker can support you. They will be with you *literally right next to you!* every step of the way as you create your adoption plan, find an adoptive family, and go through the legal process of placing your baby for adoption.

Why is it Important to have an Adoption Specialist?

Adoption in Missouri is a difficult and often emotional journey for everyone. Along with support services – financial support, housing support, coordinating health and prenatal care, other miscellaneous support – counseling is vital and has been proven to help birth mothers choosing adoption. She is making a brave but scary choice so it’s normal for them to have doubts and/or feel regret – and especially have questions along the adoption journey.

Choosing Missouri Adoption Agencies with Social Workers

When you are looking at adoption professionals and adoption agencies, and deciding who to work with, it’s okay to ask specifically about their adoption social workers. Here are a few questions you might be interested in:

  • Does the agency have adoption specialists dedicated to helping prospective birth mothers?
  • How are the social workers trained? Do they take continuing education?
  • Will I be assigned my own adoption social worker?
  • Will the adoptive family have their own social worker?
  • What is the social worker’s availability? Will I be able to reach them when concerns come up after hours?

Feeling confident with who you are working with through your Missouri adoption process will ensure a positive experience. Adoption can be a rewarding and loving experience for women facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Birth Mother Blog

Help Choosing Your Adoption Agency: The Adoption Process from the Adoption Specialist’s Perspective

Help Choosing Your Adoption Agency: The Adoption Process from the Adoption Specialist’s Perspective

Are you a birth mother or pregnant woman who is facing an unexpected pregnancy and looking for the right adoption agency? Or maybe you have some idea of what kind of adoption agency you are looking for, like an adoption agency that handles private domestic infant adoptions. Still, you are unsure of the exact benefits of choosing a licensed Missouri adoption agency? Or have you already decided on an adoption agency that is right for you, but you’d like to know a bit more about the adoption process?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you have come to the right place! Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you and to answer any of your adoption questions. We understand how scary or overwhelming your adoption journey can sometimes feel. That is why we are here to help assuage your fears and uncertainties by letting you know some specifics about the adoption process from our perspective.

The Steps of the Adoption Process from Your Adoption Caseworker’s Point of View

Let’s take a look at adoption in Missouri from your adoption caseworker’s perspective! This way, you will get the chance to understand the entire adoption process from start to finish. You will even get a better understanding of all the extra work behind the scenes to ensure that your adoption runs as smoothly as possible for you.

  1. Before you even call your adoption caseworker, they are already busy performing adoptive family home studies for you. That’s right, your adoption specialist is working hard for you before you even make the call! They are busy performing home studies of prospective adoptive families for our family portfolios. This is to ensure that your baby is placed in a suitable environment and make sure that your baby is placed in a safe and nurturing home that can give them both the love and the life they deserve.
  2. The adoption specialist gets a call from a woman who says that she is unexpectedly pregnant and considering adoption. Everyone moves at different speeds. Some birth mothers call saying that they are ready and know they are choosing adoption, and some pregnant women call saying that they need help with their unexpected pregnancy. In either case, your adoption specialist is more than happy to help go over all of the unplanned pregnancy options available to you. Your adoption specialist wants to make sure that you are making the decision that is right for you.
  3. After you choose adoption, your adoption caseworker will see what financial assistance is available to you. Your adoption caseworker will begin by asking you a few personal questions. It’s okay, and we are here to ensure that you get the help you need. Your adoption specialist will likely come visit you to perform a home study to verify if you qualify for some financial assistance for birth mothers. This will help determine if you are eligible to receive any financial aid for safe housing, rent, and utility assistance, medical care, and even help with transportation during your pregnancy. Your adoption caseworker’s top priority at all times is guaranteeing your safety and the safety of your baby during your pregnancy.
  4. Now you and your adoption specialist can begin making your adoption plan. Once you and your adoption caseworker are satisfied with the level of care and financial support you’ll receive, you can begin making your adoption plan together! There are many benefits to making an adoption plan with our Missouri adoption agency. First, your adoption specialist will over the three types of adoption available to birth mothers and help you decide which one is right for you. After you decide between an open, closed, or semi-open adoption, you will tell your adoption specialist what adoptive family criteria are important to you. This will help your adoption caseworker narrow down which adoptive families to show you out of our adoptive family portfolios! Besides, you already know that your adoption specialist has performed home study tests to ensure that all of the adoptive families in our portfolios are pre-screened and pre-qualified to adopt. You and your adoption specialist will also go over your hospital birth plan to make arrangements for your delivery.
  5. Your adoption caseworker gets to tell the adoptive family that they will be parents. This is the greatest news an adoptive family can hear, and we get to tell them! Your adoption specialist with speak with the adoptive family to deliver them the good news that they will be parents. If you would like to meet them beforehand, this is when your adoption caseworker will set up a meeting between you and the adoptive family. Please be mindful that there may be some visitation restrictions due to COVID-19.
  6. Your due date is here! It is time for your adoption caseworker to enact your hospital birth plan! This is your big day! Your adoption specialist will set into motion the hospital birth plan that the two of you decided on while making your adoption plan. This means making any necessary travel arrangements to get to the hospital, getting your adoption consent paperwork ready to file in court, and notifying the adoptive family that the big day is here. By now, you and your adoption specialist already went over any important things you may need and whether or not you want the adoptive family present during your delivery. Please keep in mind that there may be some hospital visitation guidelines in place due to COVID-19 as well.
  7. Your adoption specialist will help you navigate your post-placement journey. The big day is over, and your baby is safe at home with their adoptive family—now what? Just because your adoption process is over does not mean that your adoption caseworker is done caring about you! Your adoption specialist will make sure that you are doing OK and help guide you towards any extra help you may need. They can point you toward counseling and emotional support services for birth mothers to help you adjust to post-placement life. It is perfectly natural to experience some grief over the loss of parenthood, and we are here to help you through this difficult time.

Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today: Your Adoption Specialist Is Ready and Waiting to Hear from You 

Don’t hesitate to call Adoption Choices of Missouri today! Your adoption specialist is ready and waiting to answer all of your adoption questions. Even though your adoption caseworker is already hard at work performing home study tests on your behalf, you still have to call them and let them know that you need help with your unexpected pregnancy. The sooner you call us, the sooner we can get to work helping you!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

Combatting 10 Common Misconceptions About Adoption in Missouri

Combatting 10 Common Misconceptions About Adoption in Missouri

Having accurate information about adoption is critical when considering adoption as a pregnancy option. While many view adoption in a positive light, there are still common misconceptions about adoption that can make some potential birth mothers and adoptive parents hesitant to pursue it. Misinformation can also result in birth mothers not properly tailoring their Missouri adoption plan to their needs, thus leading to problems later on. The reality of adoption is that it’s a wonderful choice for so many women and their babies, and it gives countless couples and individuals the opportunity to be parents. That’s why Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to clear up some of these common misconceptions about adoption that could be hindering you from considering it as a viable pregnancy option.

Common Misconceptions About Adoption in Missouri

  1. Giving Up Your Baby for Adoption in Missouri is Giving Up as a Parent

Choosing to place a baby for adoption is not a sign of failure as a birth mother. Rather, it’s a sign of being a resilient parent since adoption is not an easy choice to make. The fact that you are willing to commit to the adoption process and to a life without your child growing up at your side shows an incredible amount of strength and courage on your part.

  1. Choosing Adoption Is Selfish

Adoption is the very antithesis of selfishness. By choosing adoption in Missouri, you are offering your child a chance at a better life despite your parental instincts wanting you to keep your baby. Whenever you place anyone’s best interests above your own, you are anything but selfish.

  1. Birth Mothers in Missouri Are Mainly Teen Moms

While many teen moms seek out help during their teen pregnancy in the form of adoption, the reality is that women of various childbearing ages experience an unplanned pregnancy and pursue adoption. A woman in her 20s might pursue adoption if she has a career and financial goals she wants to meet before starting a family. Women in their 30s and 40s might already have families, and having another child might introduce additional strain, especially if the family is already facing economic hardships.

  1. A Child is Better Off with Their Birth Parents

Birth parents are not inherently better than adoptive parents. A child is better off with a couple or individual who can provide him or her with support, love, and stability. A biological relationship is not a prerequisite for these critical components of a healthy upbringing.

  1. LBGTQ+ or Transracial Adoptions in Missouri Are Too Complicated

While some people don’t support LGBTQ+ or transracial adoption due to outdated beliefs, others may be hesitant to pursue or support such adoptions due to concerns that the child might face hardships. It’s important to acknowledge that a child raised by LGBTQ+ parents or parents of a different race may encounter insensitive comments and looks or even discrimination from time to time. However, as society increasingly embraces diverse families, these concerns will likely diminish over time. Additionally, LGBTQ+ and transracial families are no less stable and loving than more traditional families.

  1. Single People Are Unsuitable to Become Adoptive Parents

It’s perfectly valid for a birth mother to want her child to grow up in a household headed by two parents. However, there are so many wonderful unpartnered individuals who are ready and able to be amazing parents. While single parenthood can provide unique challenges in raising children, many succeed in bringing up children to be well-adjusted and ready to face the world when they grow up.

  1. Putting Up Your Baby for Adoption Leads to Regret

Women who place their babies for adoption may experience periods of doubt about their decision. This is completely natural, but it doesn’t mean that they regret their decision. Often, they choose adoption after carefully weighing all the pros and cons of adoption and comparing them to other options such as parenting or termination. When they decide to pursue adoption, they are in complete control of the Missouri adoption process to ensure they are maximally confident in their decision, so they are less likely to feel regret.

  1. Birth Mothers Never See Their Children Again after Adoption in Missouri

One of the great things about adoption is that there is no singular type of adoption. In decades past, it was the norm for mother and child to be permanently separated once the child was born, with little chance of reunification. However, most modern adoptions entail some level of openness. This allows birth mothers to stay in touch with their birth children and develop a relationship with them.

  1. Openness in Adoption Violates Boundaries

While some people inaccurately believe that adoption leads to a permanent separation between mother and child, others assume that any contact between a birth mother and her child leads to confusion for the child and undermines the adoptive parents. Many adoptees are curious about their birth parents and may want to meet them someday. However, they understand that their adoptive parents are solely responsible for them and therefore have full authority over them. Additionally, adoptive parents and birth mothers agree on the role that the birth mother will play in the child’s life before the adoption is finalized to ensure everyone’s best interests are met.

  1. Birth Mothers Can Take Back Their Children in Missouri Adoptions

A birth mother reserves the right to change her mind about pursuing adoption up until the moment she signs over her parental rights to the adoptive parents. Once she relinquishes these rights, she can’t take back her child. Therefore, adoptive parents should not worry about losing their child after the adoption is finalized.

How Can I Further Educate Myself on the Facts about Adoption in Missouri?

The better informed you are about adoption, the more content you will be with your decision. Internalizing any misinformation about adoption can result in you not getting the most out of your experience or even avoiding it as a viable pregnancy option altogether, even if it’s the right choice for you and your baby. The earlier you can get all the facts you need to make an informed decision, the sooner you can successfully navigate the adoption process. That’s why you should reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri today, so we can answer all your adoption questions and set you on the path that’s right for you. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.

Mary is passionate about empowering and supporting those involved in the adoption and surrogacy processes. She finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.

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4 Ways to Celebrate National Sons and Daughters Day in Missouri Adoptions

4 Ways to Celebrate National Sons and Daughters Day in Missouri Adoptions

Adoption comes with many beautiful chances to celebrate your child or adoptive child. One important holiday day is National Sons and Daughters Day-which celebrates the love you have for your child. Our local Missouri adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, wants you to know that we know how important this day is to you as a birth mother. This holiday may hold a special place in your heart as a birth mother. Now, if you are struggling to come up with ways to let your son or daughter know how special they are to you, don’t worry; we at Adoption Choices of Missouri have listed four ways that you might want to celebrate with your child.

Four Ways to Celebrate National Sons and Daughters Day

1. Visit Museums

Art, Science, and History museums are fun ways you can celebrate this family holiday and explore your child’s interests simultaneously. Capturing these beautiful memories you make with your child, and their adoptive family is a great way to celebrate family. Visiting the local Art, Science, or History museums and learning about the different paintings or how things work will bring joy to your child. As a birth mother, you will slowly discover your child’s interests and slowly bond with them if you need any advice on searching for activities to do with your child on National Sons and Daughters Day. In that case, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri can always suggest local Missouri kid-friendly museums that your child may enjoy.

 

2. Family Picnic

Having family picnics in the park is another way to celebrate this holiday. Our adoption agency in Missouri is always happy to recommend local Missouri parks that you may all enjoy.

Sharing lunch ideas with your child’s adoptive mother is a great way to bond. Packing up a traditional family meal that you only know as a birth mother will make your picnic more special because your child will get to taste a bit of their heritage.—having a chance to form a connection. Family picnics can be a great way to celebrate your child by playing their favorite board games, having scavenger hunts, delicious food, and enjoying time with them.

 3. Arts and Crafts

Creating crafts that symbolize this day or your adoption in Missouri as a whole will help you to remember the important role that you play in your child’s life. Our adoption agency in Missouri can help you celebrate this day, by giving you a list of talented artists and shops that you could;

maybe you could create an ornament for you and your child’s adoptive mom and give both of them to your child so that your son or daughter knows that both their moms are always with them. You could also create a homemade frame that has both sets of your child’s parents’ handprints so that they know they came from hands that will forever support them as they grow up.

4. Outdoor Gardens and Zoos

Visiting family-friendly like the times when you visit the beautiful botanical gardens or the local zoos will have lush gardens and animals where you can take photos with you and your child feeding the animals or walking through a pathway of exotic flowers. Capturing these memories by taking pictures will always remind them of how loved they are; you can even create a scrapbook to put the photos in to have your child keep always to have precious moments with you and their adoptive parents.

Other Celebration Ideas for Birth Mothers

Now, if none of the previously mentioned ideas work for you as a birth mother, or if you live far away, here are some more ideas to celebrate the holiday:

  • Take a family vacation: Take a big family vacation, including your child’s biological and adoptive family, so that the child will learn about both sides of their family. Going on a trip as a family to your child’s favorite place will make your child feel important and heard. Letting your child pick the vacation spot may make them feel celebrated because this holiday is all about them.
  • Bake Cookies: Staying in and baking with your child is another great way for them to bond with you. Try new cookie recipes or stick to their favorites or a mix between both. Whichever you choose, baking cookies, telling stories, and spending some quality time with your child, is a great way to celebrate how cool your kid is.

 Advice for Birth Mothers Celebrating this Holiday:

This holiday may be a mix of emotions for you as a birth parent or birth parent, but your child will be grateful to you for spending some time with them no matter how you celebrate this day. Suppose you need any advice on searching for activities with your child on National Sons or Daughters day.

Our Missouri adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, will have the tools to guide you to make sure that you have a fun and positive experience celebrating your child on this day. Remember, at our local Missouri adoption agency, we are always there to talk, listen and suggest things that may help you, a birth mother, get through some of these holidays, which might be a bit tough for you.

If you need any advice on searching for activities to do with your child on National Sons or Daughters Day, our adoption agency is in Missouri, Adoption Choices of Missouri will make sure that you and your child build memories that will last a lifetime.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French. She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication, and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Life After Adoption for Birth Mothers: Can I Still Have a Family After Putting My Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri?

Life After Adoption for Birth Mothers: Can I Still Have a Family After Putting My Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri?

Starting a new family after previously choosing adoption is not a bad thing. It’s a good thing! This is your chance to provide your baby with the life that you couldn’t obtain before. Whatever reasons you had for placing your baby up for adoption the last time you were pregnant, you’ve overcome those obstacles and are prepared to take on this challenge. You should be proud that you are growing as a person and are ready to handle this new and exciting chapter in your life.

Adoption Choices of Missouri understands that you may be considering starting a family now, despite putting your baby up for adoption during a prior pregnancy. People are supposed to grow and change. Just because you weren’t ready to raise a baby before doesn’t mean that you can’t be ready now. Your previous situation in life should never stop you from growing or moving forward. If everyone based their lives around their past decisions, we would never make any progress. There are many reasons why you may have placed your baby for adoption but are ready to start your own family now.

The Top 5 Reasons Pregnant Women Want to Raise a Baby Now but Chose Adoption Before:

  1. You chose adoption because you were a pregnant teenager or still in school when you got pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is the most common adoption scenario that people picture. If you chose adoption because you were too young to have a baby or were still in school before, then it’s OK if you’re ready to raise a child now that you’re a bit older. Even if you are pursuing higher education, it is much easier to manage your time and create a flexible class schedule around a babysitter or daycare hours when you are in college versus when you were in high school. Now that you are older, wiser, and more along in advancing your career, you should absolutely start a family if you feel that you are ready.
  2. You considered adoption before because you didn’t have all the resources needed to raise a baby. Babies require a lot of both your money and your time. Adoption was the right choice for you because you were not financially able to provide for your baby or because you did not have the time to devote to raising a baby. The financial assistance for birth mothers that comes with adoption probably helped you a lot back then too. You chose adoption because it was what you had to do in order to provide your baby with the best opportunities in life. Whether you were short on money, time, or both, now you feel as though you have enough of those resources readily available to raise a baby.
  3. You needed unplanned pregnancy help because you were in an unsafe relationship or living situation. When you are in an unhealthy relationship or an unsafe living situation, the last thing you want to do is expose a baby to those conditions. The health and safety of your baby took the highest priority, and that is so brave and commendable. Even if you were able to take advantage of the safe housing for birth mothers that our adoption agency provides, you still felt that you needed to remove yourself from that situation before you could raise a healthy and happy baby. Now that you have gotten yourself out of that toxic environment, you are ready to move on with your life and start a family. You worked hard to provide a secure environment, and you feel as though you are ready to raise a baby now that you’ve achieved it.
  4. Many pregnant women choose adoption because they don’t have good support systems in place. There’s a reason that people like to say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s important to have good support systems in place when raising a baby, and maybe you didn’t have them before. These support systems can be anyone you trust, whether you have a close family member, a dear friend, or a reliable neighbor who doesn’t mind watching your baby when your shift at work runs late. But support systems aren’t just all about having a babysitter handy; it’s important that you have another adult you can talk to and confide in when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Thanks to birth mother blogs and discussion forums, you now have access to a whole world of stories from birth mothers who may be going through the same things you are experiencing.
  5. You chose adoption because you just didn’t want to raise a baby at the time. This is one of the most overlooked reasons for considering adoption in Missouri, but it is still as perfectly acceptable as any other. Maybe your last pregnancy was a surprise, and this one is more planned. Or perhaps both pregnancies were unexpected, but now you simply feel that you are ready for motherhood and want to take on this role. You chose adoption because you just didn’t want to raise a baby and weren’t looking to start a family at the time, but now you feel like motherhood is a path in life that may suit you.

Are You Worried About Whether Your Adopted Child Will Find Out They Have a Sibling?

Just because you are ready to start a new family does not mean that you forgot about your old one. If you choose open adoption as your type of adoption when making your adoption plan, your kids might be able to meet each other as siblings. It depends on if that is something you would like to arrange or speak to your adopted child about. Talk it over with the adoptive parents first to see if they feel OK with letting your adopted child know they have a sibling. The adoptive family might feel more comfortable if they have the opportunity to be the ones to break the big news first.

As always, please remember to be realistic and manage your expectations when it comes to in-person visits. If your adopted child or the adoptive family doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of them meeting your new baby, it’s best to give them some space and let them decide when they are ready. The big news may come as a bit of a shock at first, but ultimately everyone will be better off knowing the truth. It is important that you explain to your adopted child that this does not mean you love them any less or that you love the new baby any more than them. Be patient and make sure to answer any questions they may have. This will help them overcome any initial distress they may be experiencing.

If You Need Help Exploring Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options, Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today

If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, don’t hesitate to call Adoption Choices of Missouri today. Whether or not this is your first rodeo, our adoption specialists are ready and waiting to help answer all of your questions. Your adoption caseworker will help guide you every step of the way on your adoption journey, so call us today. The longer you wait to call our adoption agency, the longer before we can get to work helping you navigate your adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother

Baby Adoption: The Miracle of Private Adoption

Baby Adoption: The Miracle of Private Adoption

Each year, private adoption leads to the creation of many families while allowing birth parents the opportunity to face an unplanned pregnancy with options instead of worrying about raising a child they are not ready to support. While going through the adoption process isn’t always easy and requires a great deal of commitment from both birth parents and hopeful adoptive parents, the rewards make the entire experience worth it.

Licensed private adoption agencies, like Adoption Choices, are regulated by federal and state adoption laws and regulations. Each year, the government reviews licensed adoption agencies. For a local agency, the state comes to review files and audits to ensure that the agency is complying with state laws and adoption regulations. When an agency is licensed in many states, they get reviewed multiple times per year by each state’s government. Since adoption regulations vary by state, that agency is then held to more restrictions and guidelines. Essentially, this creates an extra layer of safety and dependability for birth parents and adoptive families.

Using the safest, most regulated types of adoption organizations means putting individuals, couples, and families on the path that will yield the best outcomes for everyone so they can look back on their adoption journey with no regrets.

Navigating Private Adoption

Know the Advantages of Private Adoption 

Private adoption provides many benefits for birth parents and adoptive families. For adoptive parents, going the route of private adoption is typically much faster than going through public options. Additionally, private adoption is typically the better option for those seeking to adopt an infant since most children in foster care tend to be older.

As a birth mother, participation in the private adoption process is completely voluntary, as is withdrawal from it. Independent voluntary placement is when a birth parent voluntarily places their child for adoption directly with the family of their choice; whereas with a public adoption, the Department of Social Services takes custody of the child and the birth parents have no choice in where the child is placed.

Voluntary placement also offers more options in terms of post-placement contact. If birth parents decide to pursue open or semi-open adoption, private adoption agencies can help facilitate any contact with the adoptive family and birth child as necessary.

Take Control of the Adoption Journey

One of the greatest advantages that private adoption has to offer is that it is highly customizable to the unique needs of both birth parents and adoptive parents. A private adoption agency is in a position to be highly attuned to individual adoption goals, and they work hard to meet those goals. This allows both birth parents and adoptive parents to be in charge of their respective adoption journeys.

If an expectant mother, she can decide the details of her adoption plan, such as choosing the adoptive family, deciding what type of adoption to pursue, and how her hospital stay will play out. At any point in the adoption process, an expectant mother reserves the right to change her mind on any of these details up until she relinquishes her parental rights.

Adoptive parents also have agency support in the adoption process. They have a say in whether they want an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. They can set their own criteria for what they want in an expectant mother and birth child. Working closely with both birth parents and adoptive parents to understand all their needs means a higher chance to make a compatible match. If a match doesn’t work out as initially planned, neither party is asked to compromise their selection criteria, instead, the agency will continue to facilitate the matching process until both parties find the right fit.

Take the Time to Research Different Adoption Agencies 

As an initial step in the adoption journey, researching the reputation of an adoption agency will help ensure the positive adoption services one might desire. Expectant women and adoptive families have many options to choose from in a private adoption, and no two agencies are identical. Make sure the agency is transparent and trustworthy. Don’t be afraid to explore multiple agencies; comparing different agencies can help evaluate which one is the right fit and has the most reasonable terms.

Find Reliable Adoption Legal Representation 

To truly take charge of the adoption journey (especially) as a birth mother, it is imperative that she understand her rights throughout the process. Choosing an agency who offers independent legal representation will protect her best interests and will keep her well informed. The best adoption center will never leave a birth mother in the dark about her rights.

Seek Adoption Counseling as Needed

Choosing to adopt or place a child for adoption is not a decision to make lightly. Adoption Choices believes that an informed decision is an empowered decision, which is why we provide all birth parents and adoptive parents with free and easily accessible adoption counseling throughout the adoption process.

We never want to make a birth mother feel forced, coerced, nor cornered into making a decision that isn’t right for her. In fact, one of the first things our adoption counselors discuss with expectant mothers is all of her pregnancy options before even proceeding with the adoption process. If she is considering other options, we will not only discuss those options in detail, but we will also provide her with outside resources and guidance to learn more so she can make an informed decision.

Obtain Any Necessary Adoption Assistance 

Pregnancy comes with many expenses, and the last thing a birth mother should worry about is meeting her basic needs while nurturing the life growing inside her. That’s why birth mothers may be eligible for certain forms of assistance that can help her cover necessities such as housing, utilities, food, clothes, transportation, medical care, and legal representation. The assistance a birth mother receives can come in the form of government assistance or direct assistance from the adoptive parents or adoption agency.

While often mistaken for “buying babies”, the assistance a birth mother receives is intended to keep her afloat so she can focus on her well-being during her pregnancy. This assistance is not intended to last beyond the recovery period after she gives birth. Additionally, adoptive parents who help a birth mother cover her costs understand that she has the right to change her mind about following through with the adoption as long as she has not already relinquished her parental rights. If they decide to help cover her costs, and she decides to keep the baby, that’s a risk they take.

How to Make the Most of the Adoption Journey

By being proactive and having the confidence to pursue the adoption process on your own terms, provides the assurance for a positive private adoption experience. Through careful planning and obtaining as much information as possible before making any final decisions, complications can be avoided along the way that can cause doubt or regret.

Adoption Choices is fully committed to giving birth parents full control of their adoption experience while providing them with any support and guidance you need.   Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.  Mary is passionate about empowering and supporting those involved in the adoption and surrogacy processes. She finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.

Birth Mother Blog

Who Can Help Me with an Unplanned Pregnancy in Missouri?

Who Can Help Me with an Unplanned Pregnancy in Missouri?

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming. Still, at our local Missouri adoption agency, we have supportive adoption professionals to help answer your questions and address your concerns during your pregnancy and adoption process. We at Adoption Choices of Missouri will help and support you through your pregnancy, during your adoption process, and after your child’s adoption becomes finalized. Our Missouri adoption agency has listed four types of adoption professionals who can assist you in your adoption process.

Four Types of Adoption Professionals Who Can Give You Unplanned Pregnancy Help

  1. Adoption Caseworker – At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have professional adoption caseworkers that will assist you in every step of your adoption. Our adoption caseworkers will help answer any questions or concerns that you may have about each step of your adoption process, such as what to include in your Missouri adoption plan. Your situation may differ from other birth mothers, and you may need to receive financial or housing assistance as a pregnant woman. This is perfectly okay. Just remember that we will never judge you, and our Missouri caseworkers will listen to your voice as a potential birth mother.
  2. Adoption Counselors – At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we offer adoption counseling services. Our adoption counselors will help you work through your feelings about your Missouri adoption process before and after your adoption is finalized. We will help you connect with our birth mother support groups and other birth mother resources, like birth mother retreats and online birth mother groups. By doing this, you may feel more understood, less alone, and relieved in your decision.
  3. Medical Team – Throughout your pregnancy, you will receive medical assistance to support the health and well-being of you and your baby. Your doctor will monitor your pregnancy and make sure to detect any health issues you or your baby have early on. In addition, your doctor will be there to support you and be available to answer any questions or concerns that you have. This will better prepare you as your pregnancy moves along. Having a compassionate doctor who cares about your pregnancy needs will help you feel more in control when the time comes to implement your unique labor and delivery plan as a new birth mother.
  4. Other Birth Mothers – Although birth mothers are not trained adoption professionals, hearing their stories and getting their advice might benefit you if you are feeling overwhelmed by being a new birth mother. However, finding other birth mothers with whom you can exchange thoughts and feelings about the adoption process might help you feel less isolated during your adoption journey. Gaining different birth mothers’ perspectives on various adoption questions you may have can be especially helpful and comforting. These questions may include:
  • How do I get along with my child’s adoptive parents in the first year?
  • How do I handle my emotions as a birth mother on important holidays?
  • How should I thank my child’s adoptive parents when I am ready?

Learning how to explore these topics will benefit you as your child grows up to understand the role you play as their birth parent. Know that each of these questions will have unique answers depending on how you feel in the coming weeks, months, or even years after you finalize your adoption.

Finding Reassurance about Your Baby’s Adoption in Missouri

Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy may seem scary, but Adoption Choices of Missouri will give you the tools to deal with this pregnancy. No matter your situation, we will help you feel love, kindness, and confidence as you go through this journey. As an expectant mother, you and your baby’s well-being is the most important thing, and asking for help is not a bad thing. As a potential birth mother, you may not have had the support you imagined when you found out you were pregnant, but having people support you and make you feel special as a birth mother is what matters.

How Will You Get Unplanned Pregnancy Help in Missouri?

If you are considering adoption, make sure you reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri so we can help you as soon as possible. Whether you are going through this pregnancy alone, or you are struggling with this decision, we will help you through it. We will surround you with people who will provide you with reassurance and positivity to lessen your stress. We will make sure you get all the care you need and deserve as a potential birth mother so you can give yourself and your baby the best life that you can. Our Missouri adoption agency’s door is always open for any situation that you may find yourself in as a potential birth mother.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

What Will People Think if I Give my Baby up for Adoption?

What Will People Think if I Give my Baby up for Adoption?

One of the biggest challenges for birth mothers like you choosing adoption is the stigma around adoption. Even the phrase “giving up” implies that you are giving up on your child somehow. What people may not see, however, is the reasons why an adoption is your best option. It is a positive outcome of a teen pregnancy or an unplanned pregnancy. It also helps you know that your child will continue to be safe. The adoptive families as well are thrilled to have the opportunity to have a child. While it is understandable to be concerned about stigma, here are a few reasons why we at Adoption Choices of Missouri think adoption could be for you.

You Aren’t Really Giving Baby up for Adoption

Let’s face it, the phrase “giving my baby up for adoption” doesn’t sound charitable. But it’s not only uncharitable, it’s also misleading. You aren’t giving your baby up; you’re giving them an opportunity to be with a family that has the resources to take care of them. The adoptive family certainly isn’t giving up anything either: they have the opportunity to have the child they have dreamed of. It’s a win-win scenario for both families.

We understand that it’s tough to worry about what other people think, but also remember that some of their concerns come from their lack of knowledge about adoption. If someone is curious about adoptions or just doesn’t understand how it all works, you can always send them over to our Adoption Choices of Missouri website!

You Know the Baby is Better Off with Another Family

Like our previous point, only you know all the details of your won situation. People may make assumptions, but only you can know whether you’re able to be the parent you want to be at this moment. Putting your baby up for adoption doesn’t mean you have been irresponsible. Pregnancies can happen even if you used birth control or didn’t plan on them happening at all. Choosing adoption may be the most responsible choice you can make. Once people understand your story, they will likely see how you’re making the right decision for your pregnancy.

Adoption Agencies Help Pregnant Mothers

Some people worry about your pregnancy for much more compassionate reasons. They may worry about your own health and safety. Especially if you’re a single mother looking for unplanned pregnancy options, a friend could worry if you’ll be able to support yourself during a pregnancy. Juggling a job with a pregnancy is already a lot to ask of a mother. During the final months, you may not be able to work at all.

Adoption Choices of Missouri offers a variety of resources to make sure that every birth mother can stay safe and healthy during their whole pregnancy. With a combination of our own resources and government programs, we’ll help the bills get paid and get you to the doctor. Even if you’re uninsured or homeless, we’ll help you find housing and pay for health care. Health and safety won’t be an issue during your pregnancy. Next time someone asks about whether you can pay for the pregnancy, you can let them know that you’ll be taken care of.

Adoptive Families Provide Happy Homes

Another misconception about adoptions is that adoptive families are just anyone. Not many people are familiar with the process that adoptive families go through so they can apply to be adoptive families. Missouri has enacted strong programs to help adoptive families prepare for adoption and to make sure they are ready.

The STARS program in Missouri consists of two parts. The first, a training program for adoptive families. Whether or not the adoptive parents have children, it teaches them about raising children and advice to keep in mind while raising an adopted child. The other is the equivalent of what other states call a home study. The living space of the adopted family is checked to make sure it is safe for children. An interview is also conducted with the adoptive family about their history, and the local social services runs a background check to confirm the family is happy and healthy.

Talking to Others About Adoption

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows well that people will always have misconceptions. Unfortunately, there’s no way to stop people from making some negative assumptions about adoptions and birth mothers. We still believe, however, that many of these assumptions start to go away once people understand how adoptions truly work. Only you know what’s best for you and your child, and we can make sure you’re always taken care of during a pregnancy. Once the child is placed with another family, you can remain assured that they’re well taken care of. If you have friends with concerns or want to help more people learn about adoption, send them over to Adoption Choices of Missouri!

 

Birth Mother Blog

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

As a mother, one of the scariest thoughts is that your child could end up hating you for putting them up for adoption. Just a few questions might be, “isn’t it called giving your baby up for adoption? Will they think I am a bad parent? What if they realize they came from an unplanned pregnancy?” We’ll be the first to admit: it is kind of scary! How can you possibly know what your child will think long after they have started living with the adoptive family? To answer questions just like these, our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri has combined years of experience helping mothers just like you. As you read on, you may find you have a bit less to worry about than you thought. 

You can Talk to the Adoptive Family

In an open adoption, which most mothers choose, you have the opportunity to talk to and communicate with the adoptive family. This serves two main purposes. The first: you get the peace of mind that your child will be living with a loving family. It always feels as if there are a million things to worry about during an adoption, so knowing the family is kind lifts a weight off your shoulders. 

The second is that the adoptive family can learn a little about you as well if you would like. When it comes time for the adoptive family to tell their child about you, they can explain your situation as you told it to them. Your child will get to learn about you and your story. 

Was Putting Them Up for Adoption the Best Choice?

If you chose adoption in Missouri, that is because it was the best choice for the happiness and safety of the child. Remember, only you know your circumstances and choices at a given time. Whether your child was the result of an unplanned pregnancy or if your financial situation changed dramatically, adoption may be the best way to give your child the future you would like them to have. 

There’s one thing all children do with enough time: they grow up. When your child is older and understands more about their own adoption and how the world works, they’ll see why you did what you did. People are empathetic, and they will also be able to see how you couldn’t have given them the childhood they deserved. 

The Experiences of Adoptees

One other way you can know that your child won’t hate you is through the experiences of other adopted children. You might find that a surprising number of adoptees don’t hold any resentment for their birth parents at all. They recognize the reality of the situation: that not all people are ready to be parents all the time. Life is in no way predictable: there’s no way for someone to prepare for every possible situation. 

Some adoptees also meet their birth parents as adults. Since they’re able to reason with your story, they’re even more likely to accept that you were making the best decision you could. 

Adoptive Families are Loving, Too

We also know many mothers who are pregnant and need help worry that maybe the adoptive family won’t be kind to their child. Is there any way to know the adoptive family won’t make you sound like a horrible mother who abandoned her child?

Well, the main way is through the adoption home study and interview process. Not just anybody can be an adoptive parent. They must pass a series of requirements and tests before being considered by adoption agencies. The home study focuses on the financial preparedness of the family. Paperwork must be in order, and health insurance must be available. The second half of the home study is the interview. If the parents say anything at all that may bring their ability to parent into question, they may lose their ability to become adoptive parents at all. 

All of this to say, adoptive parents have a lot of hoops to jump through for the opportunity to adopt. The result is that adoptive families are 100% sure they want to have the child they will soon adopt. 

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows how difficult it is for you to worry about your child’s future. It is absolutely normal to be scared and concerned about the future of your child. You’re considering adoption because you’re worried about their future! But from the experiences of adoptees to the love of adoptive families, there are many reasons why your child will likely never come to hate you. If you have any other concerns or questions, give us a call at Adoption Choices of Missouri!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

Birth Mother Blog

The 6 Types of Adoptive Parents Who will Adopt My Baby in the State of Missouri

The 6 Types of Adoptive Parents Who will Adopt My Baby in the State of Missouri

As a pregnant woman who is considering the Missouri adoption process, there are different kinds of families that you can pick to adopt your baby. At our local Missouri adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, our adoption caseworkers will help you choose adoptive parents that are right for you and your baby. Our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, listed the six types of adoptive parents that may adopt your baby. Know that each kind of parent will give you the life that you envisioned for your child and will show them love, support, and understanding as their parents.

 The Six Types of Adoptive Parents

  1. LGBTQ+ Adoptive Parents
    When thinking about your child’s adoptive parents, you may come across LGBTQ+ adoptive parents. A Same-sex couple will provide your child with a home filled with open communication and confidence to embrace who they are. LGBTQ+ adoptive parents will also understand the challenges their child may face at school.
  2. Military Adoptive Parents
    Having military parents will most likely allow the adoptee an adventurous childhood moving from place to place. Military parents will love being parents, teaching your child valuable life skills. These types of parents will instill loyalty to family and friends and teach your child the value of staying true to themselves. In addition, having military parents might help shape your child’s interests in the future.
  3. Single Adoptive Parents
    If choosing a single parent to adopt your baby, remember that they are just as capable of being an amazing parent to your child as two parents are. Having a single parent raise your child will teach them to be independent and always know you have their back no matter what happens. Growing in a single-parent household will teach them the value of hard work and independence.
  4. Transracial Adoptive Parents
    Picking transracial adoptive parents to raise your baby will prove that love matters. Growing up with adoptive parents of a different culture or race than the adoptive child will open the discussion of diversity and family. For example, maybe the parents want to embrace your birth child’s biological heritage to help them stay connected to their heritage.  To be able to mix traditions of your heritage and your adoptive childs’ so that you can each learn and celebrate together as a new family. By doing this, your child’s adoptive parents are giving your baby a sense of its own identity and an appreciation for its parent’s identities. Either way, your child may get a chance to broaden their worldview as they grow into adulthood.
  5. Married Adoptive Parents
    If you, as a birth mother, prefer a traditional married couple to raise your child, then that is perfectly okay. Having a traditional upbringing with both a mom and dad will teach your child lessons from both genders that may help them as they grow up. For example, their adoptive dad may be able to teach them about their first car and how to change a tire better than their mom might be able to. While their adoptive mother may help improve their cooking skill by teaching them how to braise beef, learn to play an instrument play or a particular sport while they grow up.
  6. Unmarried Adoptive ParentsIf you don’t mind an unmarried couple or individual as your child’s parents are, then they could undoubtedly raise your child with all the love and values that you want for your child. An unmarried parent or couple may still provide all the necessities in life that their child will need. Having unmarried parents may allow your child to gain the full attention they may need to focus on one of one learning, like helping your child learn simple math if they are struggling. These parents will teach them that having someone like you support them is important as they grow up.

Choosing Adoptive Parents

Deciding on an adoptive family is a personal choice, and it is up to you as a birth mother to determine what values you want for your child. Maybe you want them to have other siblings or perhaps a love for animals. Making a list of all the pros and cons of each family might help you figure out what kind of adoptive parents will bring your child the opportunities and happiness they deserve.

Advice to Birth Mothers

As a birth mother, choosing your child’s adoptive parents will be a trial and error process as you decide what qualities and values you want the adoptive family to teach. Whatever type of patents you choose, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri will guide you every step of the way to help you understand that our detailed adoptive parent portfolios will personally speak to your heart. As a birth mother, understanding your wants and needs is important.  Our Missouri Adoption agency will remind you to remember that you are always in control because of your voice and opinion matter as a birth mother.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

 

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