Birth Mother Blog

Life After Adoption for Birth Mothers: Can I Still Have a Family After Putting My Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri?

Life After Adoption for Birth Mothers: Can I Still Have a Family After Putting My Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri?

Starting a new family after previously choosing adoption is not a bad thing. It’s a good thing! This is your chance to provide your baby with the life that you couldn’t obtain before. Whatever reasons you had for placing your baby up for adoption the last time you were pregnant, you’ve overcome those obstacles and are prepared to take on this challenge. You should be proud that you are growing as a person and are ready to handle this new and exciting chapter in your life.

Adoption Choices of Missouri understands that you may be considering starting a family now, despite putting your baby up for adoption during a prior pregnancy. People are supposed to grow and change. Just because you weren’t ready to raise a baby before doesn’t mean that you can’t be ready now. Your previous situation in life should never stop you from growing or moving forward. If everyone based their lives around their past decisions, we would never make any progress. There are many reasons why you may have placed your baby for adoption but are ready to start your own family now.

The Top 5 Reasons Pregnant Women Want to Raise a Baby Now but Chose Adoption Before:

  1. You chose adoption because you were a pregnant teenager or still in school when you got pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is the most common adoption scenario that people picture. If you chose adoption because you were too young to have a baby or were still in school before, then it’s OK if you’re ready to raise a child now that you’re a bit older. Even if you are pursuing higher education, it is much easier to manage your time and create a flexible class schedule around a babysitter or daycare hours when you are in college versus when you were in high school. Now that you are older, wiser, and more along in advancing your career, you should absolutely start a family if you feel that you are ready.
  2. You considered adoption before because you didn’t have all the resources needed to raise a baby. Babies require a lot of both your money and your time. Adoption was the right choice for you because you were not financially able to provide for your baby or because you did not have the time to devote to raising a baby. The financial assistance for birth mothers that comes with adoption probably helped you a lot back then too. You chose adoption because it was what you had to do in order to provide your baby with the best opportunities in life. Whether you were short on money, time, or both, now you feel as though you have enough of those resources readily available to raise a baby.
  3. You needed unplanned pregnancy help because you were in an unsafe relationship or living situation. When you are in an unhealthy relationship or an unsafe living situation, the last thing you want to do is expose a baby to those conditions. The health and safety of your baby took the highest priority, and that is so brave and commendable. Even if you were able to take advantage of the safe housing for birth mothers that our adoption agency provides, you still felt that you needed to remove yourself from that situation before you could raise a healthy and happy baby. Now that you have gotten yourself out of that toxic environment, you are ready to move on with your life and start a family. You worked hard to provide a secure environment, and you feel as though you are ready to raise a baby now that you’ve achieved it.
  4. Many pregnant women choose adoption because they don’t have good support systems in place. There’s a reason that people like to say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s important to have good support systems in place when raising a baby, and maybe you didn’t have them before. These support systems can be anyone you trust, whether you have a close family member, a dear friend, or a reliable neighbor who doesn’t mind watching your baby when your shift at work runs late. But support systems aren’t just all about having a babysitter handy; it’s important that you have another adult you can talk to and confide in when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Thanks to birth mother blogs and discussion forums, you now have access to a whole world of stories from birth mothers who may be going through the same things you are experiencing.
  5. You chose adoption because you just didn’t want to raise a baby at the time. This is one of the most overlooked reasons for considering adoption in Missouri, but it is still as perfectly acceptable as any other. Maybe your last pregnancy was a surprise, and this one is more planned. Or perhaps both pregnancies were unexpected, but now you simply feel that you are ready for motherhood and want to take on this role. You chose adoption because you just didn’t want to raise a baby and weren’t looking to start a family at the time, but now you feel like motherhood is a path in life that may suit you.

Are You Worried About Whether Your Adopted Child Will Find Out They Have a Sibling?

Just because you are ready to start a new family does not mean that you forgot about your old one. If you choose open adoption as your type of adoption when making your adoption plan, your kids might be able to meet each other as siblings. It depends on if that is something you would like to arrange or speak to your adopted child about. Talk it over with the adoptive parents first to see if they feel OK with letting your adopted child know they have a sibling. The adoptive family might feel more comfortable if they have the opportunity to be the ones to break the big news first.

As always, please remember to be realistic and manage your expectations when it comes to in-person visits. If your adopted child or the adoptive family doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of them meeting your new baby, it’s best to give them some space and let them decide when they are ready. The big news may come as a bit of a shock at first, but ultimately everyone will be better off knowing the truth. It is important that you explain to your adopted child that this does not mean you love them any less or that you love the new baby any more than them. Be patient and make sure to answer any questions they may have. This will help them overcome any initial distress they may be experiencing.

If You Need Help Exploring Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options, Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today

If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, don’t hesitate to call Adoption Choices of Missouri today. Whether or not this is your first rodeo, our adoption specialists are ready and waiting to help answer all of your questions. Your adoption caseworker will help guide you every step of the way on your adoption journey, so call us today. The longer you wait to call our adoption agency, the longer before we can get to work helping you navigate your adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother

Baby Adoption: The Miracle of Private Adoption

Baby Adoption: The Miracle of Private Adoption

Each year, private adoption leads to the creation of many families while allowing birth parents the opportunity to face an unplanned pregnancy with options instead of worrying about raising a child they are not ready to support. While going through the adoption process isn’t always easy and requires a great deal of commitment from both birth parents and hopeful adoptive parents, the rewards make the entire experience worth it.

Licensed private adoption agencies, like Adoption Choices, are regulated by federal and state adoption laws and regulations. Each year, the government reviews licensed adoption agencies. For a local agency, the state comes to review files and audits to ensure that the agency is complying with state laws and adoption regulations. When an agency is licensed in many states, they get reviewed multiple times per year by each state’s government. Since adoption regulations vary by state, that agency is then held to more restrictions and guidelines. Essentially, this creates an extra layer of safety and dependability for birth parents and adoptive families.

Using the safest, most regulated types of adoption organizations means putting individuals, couples, and families on the path that will yield the best outcomes for everyone so they can look back on their adoption journey with no regrets.

Navigating Private Adoption

Know the Advantages of Private Adoption 

Private adoption provides many benefits for birth parents and adoptive families. For adoptive parents, going the route of private adoption is typically much faster than going through public options. Additionally, private adoption is typically the better option for those seeking to adopt an infant since most children in foster care tend to be older.

As a birth mother, participation in the private adoption process is completely voluntary, as is withdrawal from it. Independent voluntary placement is when a birth parent voluntarily places their child for adoption directly with the family of their choice; whereas with a public adoption, the Department of Social Services takes custody of the child and the birth parents have no choice in where the child is placed.

Voluntary placement also offers more options in terms of post-placement contact. If birth parents decide to pursue open or semi-open adoption, private adoption agencies can help facilitate any contact with the adoptive family and birth child as necessary.

Take Control of the Adoption Journey

One of the greatest advantages that private adoption has to offer is that it is highly customizable to the unique needs of both birth parents and adoptive parents. A private adoption agency is in a position to be highly attuned to individual adoption goals, and they work hard to meet those goals. This allows both birth parents and adoptive parents to be in charge of their respective adoption journeys.

If an expectant mother, she can decide the details of her adoption plan, such as choosing the adoptive family, deciding what type of adoption to pursue, and how her hospital stay will play out. At any point in the adoption process, an expectant mother reserves the right to change her mind on any of these details up until she relinquishes her parental rights.

Adoptive parents also have agency support in the adoption process. They have a say in whether they want an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. They can set their own criteria for what they want in an expectant mother and birth child. Working closely with both birth parents and adoptive parents to understand all their needs means a higher chance to make a compatible match. If a match doesn’t work out as initially planned, neither party is asked to compromise their selection criteria, instead, the agency will continue to facilitate the matching process until both parties find the right fit.

Take the Time to Research Different Adoption Agencies 

As an initial step in the adoption journey, researching the reputation of an adoption agency will help ensure the positive adoption services one might desire. Expectant women and adoptive families have many options to choose from in a private adoption, and no two agencies are identical. Make sure the agency is transparent and trustworthy. Don’t be afraid to explore multiple agencies; comparing different agencies can help evaluate which one is the right fit and has the most reasonable terms.

Find Reliable Adoption Legal Representation 

To truly take charge of the adoption journey (especially) as a birth mother, it is imperative that she understand her rights throughout the process. Choosing an agency who offers independent legal representation will protect her best interests and will keep her well informed. The best adoption center will never leave a birth mother in the dark about her rights.

Seek Adoption Counseling as Needed

Choosing to adopt or place a child for adoption is not a decision to make lightly. Adoption Choices believes that an informed decision is an empowered decision, which is why we provide all birth parents and adoptive parents with free and easily accessible adoption counseling throughout the adoption process.

We never want to make a birth mother feel forced, coerced, nor cornered into making a decision that isn’t right for her. In fact, one of the first things our adoption counselors discuss with expectant mothers is all of her pregnancy options before even proceeding with the adoption process. If she is considering other options, we will not only discuss those options in detail, but we will also provide her with outside resources and guidance to learn more so she can make an informed decision.

Obtain Any Necessary Adoption Assistance 

Pregnancy comes with many expenses, and the last thing a birth mother should worry about is meeting her basic needs while nurturing the life growing inside her. That’s why birth mothers may be eligible for certain forms of assistance that can help her cover necessities such as housing, utilities, food, clothes, transportation, medical care, and legal representation. The assistance a birth mother receives can come in the form of government assistance or direct assistance from the adoptive parents or adoption agency.

While often mistaken for “buying babies”, the assistance a birth mother receives is intended to keep her afloat so she can focus on her well-being during her pregnancy. This assistance is not intended to last beyond the recovery period after she gives birth. Additionally, adoptive parents who help a birth mother cover her costs understand that she has the right to change her mind about following through with the adoption as long as she has not already relinquished her parental rights. If they decide to help cover her costs, and she decides to keep the baby, that’s a risk they take.

How to Make the Most of the Adoption Journey

By being proactive and having the confidence to pursue the adoption process on your own terms, provides the assurance for a positive private adoption experience. Through careful planning and obtaining as much information as possible before making any final decisions, complications can be avoided along the way that can cause doubt or regret.

Adoption Choices is fully committed to giving birth parents full control of their adoption experience while providing them with any support and guidance you need.   Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.  Mary is passionate about empowering and supporting those involved in the adoption and surrogacy processes. She finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.

Birth Mother Blog

Who Can Help Me with an Unplanned Pregnancy in Missouri?

Who Can Help Me with an Unplanned Pregnancy in Missouri?

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming. Still, at our local Missouri adoption agency, we have supportive adoption professionals to help answer your questions and address your concerns during your pregnancy and adoption process. We at Adoption Choices of Missouri will help and support you through your pregnancy, during your adoption process, and after your child’s adoption becomes finalized. Our Missouri adoption agency has listed four types of adoption professionals who can assist you in your adoption process.

Four Types of Adoption Professionals Who Can Give You Unplanned Pregnancy Help

  1. Adoption Caseworker – At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have professional adoption caseworkers that will assist you in every step of your adoption. Our adoption caseworkers will help answer any questions or concerns that you may have about each step of your adoption process, such as what to include in your Missouri adoption plan. Your situation may differ from other birth mothers, and you may need to receive financial or housing assistance as a pregnant woman. This is perfectly okay. Just remember that we will never judge you, and our Missouri caseworkers will listen to your voice as a potential birth mother.
  2. Adoption Counselors – At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we offer adoption counseling services. Our adoption counselors will help you work through your feelings about your Missouri adoption process before and after your adoption is finalized. We will help you connect with our birth mother support groups and other birth mother resources, like birth mother retreats and online birth mother groups. By doing this, you may feel more understood, less alone, and relieved in your decision.
  3. Medical Team – Throughout your pregnancy, you will receive medical assistance to support the health and well-being of you and your baby. Your doctor will monitor your pregnancy and make sure to detect any health issues you or your baby have early on. In addition, your doctor will be there to support you and be available to answer any questions or concerns that you have. This will better prepare you as your pregnancy moves along. Having a compassionate doctor who cares about your pregnancy needs will help you feel more in control when the time comes to implement your unique labor and delivery plan as a new birth mother.
  4. Other Birth Mothers – Although birth mothers are not trained adoption professionals, hearing their stories and getting their advice might benefit you if you are feeling overwhelmed by being a new birth mother. However, finding other birth mothers with whom you can exchange thoughts and feelings about the adoption process might help you feel less isolated during your adoption journey. Gaining different birth mothers’ perspectives on various adoption questions you may have can be especially helpful and comforting. These questions may include:
  • How do I get along with my child’s adoptive parents in the first year?
  • How do I handle my emotions as a birth mother on important holidays?
  • How should I thank my child’s adoptive parents when I am ready?

Learning how to explore these topics will benefit you as your child grows up to understand the role you play as their birth parent. Know that each of these questions will have unique answers depending on how you feel in the coming weeks, months, or even years after you finalize your adoption.

Finding Reassurance about Your Baby’s Adoption in Missouri

Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy may seem scary, but Adoption Choices of Missouri will give you the tools to deal with this pregnancy. No matter your situation, we will help you feel love, kindness, and confidence as you go through this journey. As an expectant mother, you and your baby’s well-being is the most important thing, and asking for help is not a bad thing. As a potential birth mother, you may not have had the support you imagined when you found out you were pregnant, but having people support you and make you feel special as a birth mother is what matters.

How Will You Get Unplanned Pregnancy Help in Missouri?

If you are considering adoption, make sure you reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri so we can help you as soon as possible. Whether you are going through this pregnancy alone, or you are struggling with this decision, we will help you through it. We will surround you with people who will provide you with reassurance and positivity to lessen your stress. We will make sure you get all the care you need and deserve as a potential birth mother so you can give yourself and your baby the best life that you can. Our Missouri adoption agency’s door is always open for any situation that you may find yourself in as a potential birth mother.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

What Will People Think if I Give my Baby up for Adoption?

What Will People Think if I Give my Baby up for Adoption?

One of the biggest challenges for birth mothers like you choosing adoption is the stigma around adoption. Even the phrase “giving up” implies that you are giving up on your child somehow. What people may not see, however, is the reasons why an adoption is your best option. It is a positive outcome of a teen pregnancy or an unplanned pregnancy. It also helps you know that your child will continue to be safe. The adoptive families as well are thrilled to have the opportunity to have a child. While it is understandable to be concerned about stigma, here are a few reasons why we at Adoption Choices of Missouri think adoption could be for you.

You Aren’t Really Giving Baby up for Adoption

Let’s face it, the phrase “giving my baby up for adoption” doesn’t sound charitable. But it’s not only uncharitable, it’s also misleading. You aren’t giving your baby up; you’re giving them an opportunity to be with a family that has the resources to take care of them. The adoptive family certainly isn’t giving up anything either: they have the opportunity to have the child they have dreamed of. It’s a win-win scenario for both families.

We understand that it’s tough to worry about what other people think, but also remember that some of their concerns come from their lack of knowledge about adoption. If someone is curious about adoptions or just doesn’t understand how it all works, you can always send them over to our Adoption Choices of Missouri website!

You Know the Baby is Better Off with Another Family

Like our previous point, only you know all the details of your won situation. People may make assumptions, but only you can know whether you’re able to be the parent you want to be at this moment. Putting your baby up for adoption doesn’t mean you have been irresponsible. Pregnancies can happen even if you used birth control or didn’t plan on them happening at all. Choosing adoption may be the most responsible choice you can make. Once people understand your story, they will likely see how you’re making the right decision for your pregnancy.

Adoption Agencies Help Pregnant Mothers

Some people worry about your pregnancy for much more compassionate reasons. They may worry about your own health and safety. Especially if you’re a single mother looking for unplanned pregnancy options, a friend could worry if you’ll be able to support yourself during a pregnancy. Juggling a job with a pregnancy is already a lot to ask of a mother. During the final months, you may not be able to work at all.

Adoption Choices of Missouri offers a variety of resources to make sure that every birth mother can stay safe and healthy during their whole pregnancy. With a combination of our own resources and government programs, we’ll help the bills get paid and get you to the doctor. Even if you’re uninsured or homeless, we’ll help you find housing and pay for health care. Health and safety won’t be an issue during your pregnancy. Next time someone asks about whether you can pay for the pregnancy, you can let them know that you’ll be taken care of.

Adoptive Families Provide Happy Homes

Another misconception about adoptions is that adoptive families are just anyone. Not many people are familiar with the process that adoptive families go through so they can apply to be adoptive families. Missouri has enacted strong programs to help adoptive families prepare for adoption and to make sure they are ready.

The STARS program in Missouri consists of two parts. The first, a training program for adoptive families. Whether or not the adoptive parents have children, it teaches them about raising children and advice to keep in mind while raising an adopted child. The other is the equivalent of what other states call a home study. The living space of the adopted family is checked to make sure it is safe for children. An interview is also conducted with the adoptive family about their history, and the local social services runs a background check to confirm the family is happy and healthy.

Talking to Others About Adoption

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows well that people will always have misconceptions. Unfortunately, there’s no way to stop people from making some negative assumptions about adoptions and birth mothers. We still believe, however, that many of these assumptions start to go away once people understand how adoptions truly work. Only you know what’s best for you and your child, and we can make sure you’re always taken care of during a pregnancy. Once the child is placed with another family, you can remain assured that they’re well taken care of. If you have friends with concerns or want to help more people learn about adoption, send them over to Adoption Choices of Missouri!

 

Birth Mother Blog

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

As a mother, one of the scariest thoughts is that your child could end up hating you for putting them up for adoption. Just a few questions might be, “isn’t it called giving your baby up for adoption? Will they think I am a bad parent? What if they realize they came from an unplanned pregnancy?” We’ll be the first to admit: it is kind of scary! How can you possibly know what your child will think long after they have started living with the adoptive family? To answer questions just like these, our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri has combined years of experience helping mothers just like you. As you read on, you may find you have a bit less to worry about than you thought. 

You can Talk to the Adoptive Family

In an open adoption, which most mothers choose, you have the opportunity to talk to and communicate with the adoptive family. This serves two main purposes. The first: you get the peace of mind that your child will be living with a loving family. It always feels as if there are a million things to worry about during an adoption, so knowing the family is kind lifts a weight off your shoulders. 

The second is that the adoptive family can learn a little about you as well if you would like. When it comes time for the adoptive family to tell their child about you, they can explain your situation as you told it to them. Your child will get to learn about you and your story. 

Was Putting Them Up for Adoption the Best Choice?

If you chose adoption in Missouri, that is because it was the best choice for the happiness and safety of the child. Remember, only you know your circumstances and choices at a given time. Whether your child was the result of an unplanned pregnancy or if your financial situation changed dramatically, adoption may be the best way to give your child the future you would like them to have. 

There’s one thing all children do with enough time: they grow up. When your child is older and understands more about their own adoption and how the world works, they’ll see why you did what you did. People are empathetic, and they will also be able to see how you couldn’t have given them the childhood they deserved. 

The Experiences of Adoptees

One other way you can know that your child won’t hate you is through the experiences of other adopted children. You might find that a surprising number of adoptees don’t hold any resentment for their birth parents at all. They recognize the reality of the situation: that not all people are ready to be parents all the time. Life is in no way predictable: there’s no way for someone to prepare for every possible situation. 

Some adoptees also meet their birth parents as adults. Since they’re able to reason with your story, they’re even more likely to accept that you were making the best decision you could. 

Adoptive Families are Loving, Too

We also know many mothers who are pregnant and need help worry that maybe the adoptive family won’t be kind to their child. Is there any way to know the adoptive family won’t make you sound like a horrible mother who abandoned her child?

Well, the main way is through the adoption home study and interview process. Not just anybody can be an adoptive parent. They must pass a series of requirements and tests before being considered by adoption agencies. The home study focuses on the financial preparedness of the family. Paperwork must be in order, and health insurance must be available. The second half of the home study is the interview. If the parents say anything at all that may bring their ability to parent into question, they may lose their ability to become adoptive parents at all. 

All of this to say, adoptive parents have a lot of hoops to jump through for the opportunity to adopt. The result is that adoptive families are 100% sure they want to have the child they will soon adopt. 

Will My Child Hate me for Putting Them Up for Adoption?

Adoption Choices of Missouri knows how difficult it is for you to worry about your child’s future. It is absolutely normal to be scared and concerned about the future of your child. You’re considering adoption because you’re worried about their future! But from the experiences of adoptees to the love of adoptive families, there are many reasons why your child will likely never come to hate you. If you have any other concerns or questions, give us a call at Adoption Choices of Missouri!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

Birth Mother Blog

The 6 Types of Adoptive Parents Who will Adopt My Baby in the State of Missouri

The 6 Types of Adoptive Parents Who will Adopt My Baby in the State of Missouri

As a pregnant woman who is considering the Missouri adoption process, there are different kinds of families that you can pick to adopt your baby. At our local Missouri adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, our adoption caseworkers will help you choose adoptive parents that are right for you and your baby. Our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, listed the six types of adoptive parents that may adopt your baby. Know that each kind of parent will give you the life that you envisioned for your child and will show them love, support, and understanding as their parents.

 The Six Types of Adoptive Parents

  1. LGBTQ+ Adoptive Parents
    When thinking about your child’s adoptive parents, you may come across LGBTQ+ adoptive parents. A Same-sex couple will provide your child with a home filled with open communication and confidence to embrace who they are. LGBTQ+ adoptive parents will also understand the challenges their child may face at school.
  2. Military Adoptive Parents
    Having military parents will most likely allow the adoptee an adventurous childhood moving from place to place. Military parents will love being parents, teaching your child valuable life skills. These types of parents will instill loyalty to family and friends and teach your child the value of staying true to themselves. In addition, having military parents might help shape your child’s interests in the future.
  3. Single Adoptive Parents
    If choosing a single parent to adopt your baby, remember that they are just as capable of being an amazing parent to your child as two parents are. Having a single parent raise your child will teach them to be independent and always know you have their back no matter what happens. Growing in a single-parent household will teach them the value of hard work and independence.
  4. Transracial Adoptive Parents
    Picking transracial adoptive parents to raise your baby will prove that love matters. Growing up with adoptive parents of a different culture or race than the adoptive child will open the discussion of diversity and family. For example, maybe the parents want to embrace your birth child’s biological heritage to help them stay connected to their heritage.  To be able to mix traditions of your heritage and your adoptive childs’ so that you can each learn and celebrate together as a new family. By doing this, your child’s adoptive parents are giving your baby a sense of its own identity and an appreciation for its parent’s identities. Either way, your child may get a chance to broaden their worldview as they grow into adulthood.
  5. Married Adoptive Parents
    If you, as a birth mother, prefer a traditional married couple to raise your child, then that is perfectly okay. Having a traditional upbringing with both a mom and dad will teach your child lessons from both genders that may help them as they grow up. For example, their adoptive dad may be able to teach them about their first car and how to change a tire better than their mom might be able to. While their adoptive mother may help improve their cooking skill by teaching them how to braise beef, learn to play an instrument play or a particular sport while they grow up.
  6. Unmarried Adoptive ParentsIf you don’t mind an unmarried couple or individual as your child’s parents are, then they could undoubtedly raise your child with all the love and values that you want for your child. An unmarried parent or couple may still provide all the necessities in life that their child will need. Having unmarried parents may allow your child to gain the full attention they may need to focus on one of one learning, like helping your child learn simple math if they are struggling. These parents will teach them that having someone like you support them is important as they grow up.

Choosing Adoptive Parents

Deciding on an adoptive family is a personal choice, and it is up to you as a birth mother to determine what values you want for your child. Maybe you want them to have other siblings or perhaps a love for animals. Making a list of all the pros and cons of each family might help you figure out what kind of adoptive parents will bring your child the opportunities and happiness they deserve.

Advice to Birth Mothers

As a birth mother, choosing your child’s adoptive parents will be a trial and error process as you decide what qualities and values you want the adoptive family to teach. Whatever type of patents you choose, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri will guide you every step of the way to help you understand that our detailed adoptive parent portfolios will personally speak to your heart. As a birth mother, understanding your wants and needs is important.  Our Missouri Adoption agency will remind you to remember that you are always in control because of your voice and opinion matter as a birth mother.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

 

Birth Mother Blog

Unplanned Pregnancy Help for Birth Mothers: Will I Regret Placing My Baby Up for Adoption?

Unplanned Pregnancy Help for Birth Mothers: Will I Regret Placing My Baby Up for Adoption?

The best, most honest answer I can give you is: maybe. The hard truth is, there are always going to be things we regret in life. But sometimes those regrets are the things we didn’t do just as much as they can be the things we did do. You might ask yourself Will I regret placing my baby up for adoption? Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which path will be filled with less regret for you. That is why you must understand all of your unplanned pregnancy and adoption options before you make a final decision. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help ensure that you are making the most informed decision possible.

The Top 5 Ways Adoption Agencies Can Help Birth Mothers Reduce Regret When Choosing Adoption:

Although we cannot guarantee that you will have no regrets about choosing adoption, we can do our best to help mitigate those feelings. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help birth mothers navigate these difficult feelings during your adoption journey.

  1. Adoption agencies can offer different types of adoption as an open adoption. These days, adoption agencies offer different types of adoption, like open, closed, or semi-open adoption. Open adoption allows for the birth mother and adoptive family to swap information and maintain contact. This means that you will get to know the person your baby grows up to be because you will have the opportunity to speak with them on the phone and even have in-person visits. The guidelines for these arrangements should be made before the adoption is completed when you are making your Missouri adoption plan. Be sure to speak with your adoption specialist for more information about what type of adoption best suits your needs.
  2. By providing legal representation to help protect your birth mother’s rights. Choosing adoption is all about consent, and the laws around withdrawing your consent are called revocation laws. Although we provide ample opportunity for birth mothers to change their minds about adoption so that these laws should not need to be used in the first place, they are there as a final resort. Please be aware that these laws are only in place up until the court has finalized the withdrawal of parental consent, at which point they become irrevocable. Our adoption agency does provide legal representation to help protect birth mother rights in Missouri.
  3. Choose a full-service, licensed adoption agency that offers post-placement counseling for birth mothers. We understand that adjusting to post-placement life after placing your baby for adoption can be hard, and that is why we provide mental health and emotional support counseling for birth mothers. We realize that you may need some extra help past the delivery room, and that is why we like to go above and beyond by providing counseling for birth mothers even after the Missouri adoption process is completed.
  4. Your adoption agency can help direct you towards birth mother blogs and forums. Our adoption agency provides a plethora of first-hand accounts from birth mothers, birth mother blogs, and other birth mother online resources to help you make sure this is the right decision for you. Other birth mothers have been through this before, and you are not alone. You can use their stories and what they’ve learned to help guide you as you make your own decisions.
  5. Remember, you are placing your baby for adoption, not “giving up” your baby.  Adoption is the chance for you to give your baby the best opportunities in life. Don’t think of adoption as a selfish act; rather, think of adoption as a selfless act of love on your part for the benefit of your baby. You are not “giving up” your baby for adoption; after all, “giving up” has such a negative connotation. Instead, think of it as enduring through this hardship so that your baby can have the best chance at life. All of our adoptive families in our portfolios are pre-screened and pre-qualified, so your baby is going to a safe and loving home. No matter which adoptive family you pick, choosing to place your baby for adoption will help give him or her a head start in life.

If You Are Pregnant and Need Help Placing Your Baby for Adoption Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today 

If you are pregnant and need help placing your baby for adoption, don’t hesitate to call our Missouri adoption agency today. The longer you wait to call us, the longer before we can get to work helping you. Our adoption specialists are ready and waiting to help provide you with the adoption information you need to get your adoption journey started as soon as possible.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

 

Birth Mother Blog

5 Reasons an Adoptive Family in Missouri May Not Want to Adopt My Baby Adoptions

5 Reasons an Adoptive Family in Missouri May Not Want to Adopt My Baby Adoptions

As a birth mother, there may be many challenges surrounding your Missouri adoption process, but one problem you may not have expected as a birth mother is if an adoptive family in Missouri doesn’t want to adopt your birth child. Now, this may be due to many circumstances like health issues. Choosing your adoptive parents is such a big step that you must take and consider the important things like your values, interests and see if they match up. Now, sometimes adoptive parents don’t match up with your child. We at Adoption Choices of Missouri have listed the five reasons that adoptive parents may be hesitant to adopt their baby.

 1.Medical Health

Before choosing your child’s adoptive parents, you should talk to them to make sure they know your child’s condition openly and what to expect. Now, telling them may turn them off to adopting your child, but don’t worry, the right parents who will accept this challenge to parent a child with health issues will learn to care for your child and love them unconditionally.

 

2.Mental Health

You may have a baby with special needs, which is perfectly okay, but some parents are not equipped to handle their daily life struggles. If you have a child with special needs, know that they will get a chance at a better life; it might just take you a bit longer to find their right adoptive parents that will allow them to gain such opportunities that you could not give them.

 

3.Older Adoptive Parents

Choosing older adoptive parents may have many advantages like financial stability. At the same time, this could also be a setback as older parents may not want to start from the beginning of life with raising a child. On the contrary, some older parents may be happy to get a child at any age to embrace parenthood at every stage of life fully. Although older parents may be mature, they may not share your worldview, which is also another reason they may not choose to raise your child as their views differ from yours, but that is okay.

 

4.Younger Adoptive Parents

Maybe you decide that older parents do not fit the wants and needs of your baby. Younger parents in their late 20’s early 30’s may be more adventurous and parent in a non-traditional way. However, some patients may still act immaturely or may not have the time not fully to commit to taking care of a newborn. Whatever the reason they decline to become your birth child’s parents, know that it has nothing to do with you, but maybe they would feel better prepared with a slightly older child like a toddler.

5. A Different Culture

Some adoptive parents may want a baby of the same ethnicity to make it easier for the child to transition and adjust to life as they grow up. For example, an Indian couple may want a baby that closely resembles their ethnicity. It may be easier to raise them as their own because you and the adoptive parents come from the background and have a common understanding. Now, this is not usually the case, but sometimes this may occur.

What Birth Mothers Should Need to Know About an Adoptive Family in Missouri

As a birth mother, there may be some reason that an adoptive family in Missouri may not pick your child and the match is unsuccessful between you and them, and that’s okay. Remember, no matter the reason, your baby will find their adoptive parents and gain a family that will provide them with care and love.

Advice for Birth Mothers

As a birth mother, who might be going through this, another important thing to remember is not your fault. We at Adoption Choices of Missouri will help you pick out the parents that fit your baby. Your baby is beautiful and deserves a great home; it might just take a little time for you to find your parents. Don’t stress about this because your child will find the adoptive parents they are meant to have. Remember, your choice of adoption may not always be a smooth road to travel. But you will have our help along the way; at our Missouri adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, we know the obstacles you face are worth having your child find their caring parents.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

You Are in Control of Your Adoption Plan When Choosing Adoption in Missouri

You Are in Control of Your Missouri Adoption Plan When Choosing Adoption 

No matter who you are or what your plan in life is, an unexpected pregnancy can derail some of the best-laid plans. Wherever you thought your path in life was going, that path has suddenly changed on you without any warning. Choosing adoption and making a Missouri adoption plan is a way for you to take back control of your unexpected pregnancy. By choosing adoption in the first place, you are taking control of the situation so that you and your baby can both have a better chance at life.

While there are many benefits of creating an adoption plan through our adoption agency in Missouri, the most important aspect of making an adoption plan is that it puts you, the birth mother, in control. You are the one choosing to place your baby for adoption, so you should be the one in the driver’s seat. That is why Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you. We value our birth mothers and want to make sure that your voice is heard when making such major, life-changing decisions.

You Can Help Take Control of Your Unexpected Pregnancy by Making Your Own Adoption Plan

 There are many different reasons why you may be considering choosing adoption. A lot of those reasons are usually something that makes you feel like you have little to no control over your life or your current situation.

Some reasons that may make you feel helpless or powerless over your situation could be if:

  • You are still in school and feel that you are too young to have a baby.
  • You are an adult who already has a family and cannot afford the money and time that raising another child would require.
  • You are considering adoption because you are in jail or homeless and simply do not have the means to take care of a baby.
  • You may be trying to get out of an abusive relationship that is not a safe environment for your baby.

Whatever the reason that you are choosing adoption is, the important thing to remember is that you are doing this for the benefit of both you and your baby. You are doing this so that each of you can have a better life. By choosing adoption, you are taking back control. Now you can really take charge of your own adoption by making your adoption plan.

The Top 4 Ways Birth Mothers in Missouri Are in Control of Their Adoption Plan 

  1. Choosing adoption is your decision to begin with.  Remember, you should never feel like you are being pressured or forced into making such a huge and important decision. Adoption is all about consent, and choosing adoption should always be your decision in the first place.
  2. You get to decide what type of adoption is the best fit for you. There are three main types of adoption: open, closed, or semi-open adoption. What type of adoption you choose determines what level of involvement you will have in your baby’s life moving forward. Although our adoption agency offers all three types of adoption, we strongly encourage open adoption because we believe that it is the adoption option that keeps everyone’s best interests at heart.
  3. You can choose which adoptive family you want to place your baby for adoption with. You get to choose the adoptive family and decide which adoptive family criteria are important to you. Close your eyes and picture the adoptive family with whom you would like to place your baby. Do you see a single-parent adoption, or do you see a two-parent home? Do you picture any siblings? Would you consider LGBTQ+ adoptive parents or a transracial adoptive family? These are all different factors to consider when selecting an adoptive family, and you have the opportunity to decide which ones are important to you.
  4. You get to make your own adoption hospital birth plan. There are so many things to consider when making your adoption hospital birth plan. Do you want to be able to hold your baby after you give birth? Are there any special comfort items or important things like any medications that you will need someone to bring to you in the hospital? Do you want the birth father or the adoptive family to be able to visit you in the delivery room? Please be aware that there may be some COVID-19 restrictions in place regarding visitors at the hospital.

 

What If You Do Not Want to Be Involved When Placing Your Baby Up for Adoption in Missouri?

 You may be asking yourself a few questions like, why do I even need to make an adoption plan? Isn’t that the whole point of choosing an adoption agency so that I don’t have to do everything myself? What if I find these decisions too difficult to make and don’t want to be involved?

Although, yes, our adoption specialists are absolutely here and ready to help guide you through every step in making your adoption plan, there are some things you must decide for yourself. For example, you must decide what type of adoption you would like. You must decide how involved you want to be in your baby’s life, both during the adoption process and post-placement afterward. But we are here to handle the decisions you don’t want to and don’t have to make.

For other options like picking out the adoptive family, you can always choose not to choose. We understand that choosing adoption is not the easiest decision to make, and having to decide on things like which family to place your baby with can feel very emotional and overwhelming. That is why all of our adoptive families in our family portfolios must undergo a rigorous home study test: so that your baby will be placed into a safe and loving home, whether or not you handpick the adoptive family yourself.

If You Are a Pregnant Woman Considering Putting Your Baby Up for Adoption, Call Our Adoption Agency Today for Unexpected Pregnancy Help

 No matter how in control of your Missouri adoption plan you do or don’t want to be, please do not hesitate to contact our adoption agency as soon as possible. Even if you are not yet sure that adoption is the right choice for you, our adoption specialists are ready and waiting to help you explore all of your options and find the right answers. Call us today so that we can get started working for you as soon as possible. The sooner you call us, the sooner we can start helping you navigate your adoption journey.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

What if the Adoptive Family Doesn’t Accept my Baby?

What if the Adoptive Family Doesn’t Accept My Baby?

One of the scariest thoughts for mothers like you looking to put their baby up for adoption is the thought that the adoptive family isn’t loving. You can be sure that you care about your baby; after all, you can see your own thoughts. But how can you know that adoptive families will care? How do adoption agencies in Missouri make sure that only loving families end up in the system? Will the adoptive family care if the baby came from a teen pregnancy or has a complicated family history? Adoption Choices of Missouri knows how difficult the idea of an adoptive family can be for birth mothers. Here are just a few of the reasons why you can feel secure when giving your baby up for adoption. 

All Adoptive Families Support the Adoption Financially

Adoptive families give their financial resources to help facilitate the adoption. After months of waiting for the opportunity to adopt, they wholeheartedly support the safety of both the birth mother and the child. These families have made a significant financial commitment to adopting a child. Some of the fees they pay even go towards making sure you and your child are happy and healthy during your pregnancy.

Adoptive Families All-Pass the Home Study

The home study is an in-depth interview process that makes sure all adoptive families are ready to raise a child. In order to qualify to be an adoptive family for Adoption Choices of Missouri’s or any other adoption agencies in Missouri, the family must pass their home study. While the exact record of what questions and answers are given during a home study are mostly confidential, you can still learn about some of the details of the requirements to be met during a home study.

 The goal of a home study is to determine if the family is physically, emotionally, and fiscally prepared to adopt a child. The family must pass a criminal background check and make sure there is no history of child abuse or neglect. Their doctor must prove they are physically healthy enough to care for a child as well. A social worker will also ask them questions about their parenting style and personal relationships. Houses that pass home studies also don’t contain hazards for young children. Pets are well-trained and electrical outlets have plastic covers. A family’s home study must also be updated each year, so you know that all the information is up to date. 

You Can Learn About the Adoptive Family

Adoption Choices of Missouri supports open adoptions where the birth parents and adoptive parents can communicate and meet. Before making your final decision about an adoptive family, your adoption caseworker will provide you with in-depth information about the adoptive family. Their religious beliefs, parenting experience, and a short biography are all included no matter which Missouri adoption plan you make. In fact, you can even review the adoptive families that are waiting to adopt. Learning more about the adoptive family can seriously help put your mind at ease! 

After your pregnancy, you can communicate with the family if you choose an open adoption. They can send you pictures and videos of your child living a happy, healthy life. It can be difficult to stop worrying before the adoption has taken place. But once you can relax and see how your child is doing, you may find that you wonder why you were so worried in the first place.

Adoptive Parents Love Children as Much as Birth Parents

It isn’t just birth mothers who worry about adoptive families loving children. Sometimes families with children worry if they will love their adopted child the same way as their non-adopted ones. But time and time again, adoptive families intensely love the children they adopt. No matter who the adoptive family is and no matter the child. The bond between parent and child remains strong in adoptive families. The experience of watching an adoptive child grow up is just like that of watching a biological child grow up. In fact, some adoptive parents were even adopted from adoption agencies as children. They want to give the positive experience they had to a new person.

How to Know that Adoptive Families Will Care for Your Baby

Adoptive families care just as much about their children as birth families do. Although the phrase “giving baby up for adoption” is used, placing a child with an adoptive family isn’t giving up at all. They are thrilled to have the opportunity to parent and statistically have been shown to care deeply about their children. And to be safe, adoptive families also pass a variety of evaluations to make sure they are up to the task. Before and after your pregnancy, you will learn about the adoptive family to answer some of your more specific questions. But no matter what, your child’s adoptive family is happy and ready to take care of your child. Want to see our waiting families or start your adoption plan? Visit our website at Adoption Choices of Missouri today!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Joshua Boulet Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.” His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician: “A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.

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