Birth Mother Blog

I’m 20, Pregnant and I Don’t Want the Baby: What Next? 

I’m 20, Pregnant and I Don’t Want the Baby: What Next? 

At 20 years old, it is very common to still be uncertain about the direction you’d like your life to go. You might be in the midst of discovering or developing a passion, completing a school program or working a job. Raising a child is a life-changing event and, depending on your situation, can be at odds with your own lifeplan. 

If you are a 20 year old facing an unplanned pregnancy and have decided that you don’t want the baby, you are probably asking, I’m 20, pregnant and don’t want the baby. What next? Fortunately, Adoption Choices of Missouri is available to walk you through your possibilities. Keep in mind that deciding that you don’t want the baby is a big and emotional process. It is important to make sure that you take the time to ensure that you make an informed choice. This will help you maintain confidence throughout the next steps of your journey. Here are two options for you to choose from: 

  1. Terminate the Pregnancy

The second option that you have if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy is to terminate the pregnancy. If you do not have conflicting personal or religious views with this choice, then it can provide a range of benefits as well. When you schedule your initial meeting with Adoption Choices of Missouri, you will be able to discuss this option in detail with the staff at our adoption agency. 

In the state of Missouri, you are required to receive and attend state-mandated, in-person counseling sessions. After this, you must wait 72 hours until you are able to proceed with the abortion procedure. Abortion is legal up to 21 weeks. If you are past this, terminating your pregnancy is only permitted if your health and/or life is in severe danger. Be sure to consult with your doctor and healthcare provider to learn more.

  1. Place the Baby for Adoption

You always have the option of placing your baby for adoption. If you do choose this path, you can contact Adoption Choices of Missouri to set up an initial meeting. You will be matched with an adoption caseworker who will remain with you throughout the adoption process and can answer any questions or concerns that may arise along the way. 

Placing your baby for adoption has many benefits for both you and the baby. If you have career or school-related goals that don’t allow room for a child, adoption can provide the possibility of pursuing your dreams. If you are in a difficult financial situation, you may also be eligible to receive financial assistance during your pregnancy. Choosing to place your baby for adoption ensures that your child will be brought up in a stable and loving home. You will be able to choose the type of adoption that best fits your life, so you will not necessarily have to end all contact with your child if you choose this path. 

20, Pregnant and I Don’t Want the Baby: What Next?

Like all life-changing choices, deciding how to proceed can take a lot of time and careful thought. Determining that you are not going to raise your child is a personal one, and not a choice that can be taken lightly. Remember that this decision will be unique to you, so it is important that you listen to your own needs, desires and beliefs. That said, deciding that you don’t want the baby can be an emotional decision, so it might be helpful to talk through it with supportive family or friends. 

If you do not have supportive loved ones in your life, the staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri are more than happy to help. We understand the importance of making an informed choice that reflects your own unique circumstances and principles and are here to help you to the best of our abilities. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

Birth Mother Blog

Choosing Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Your Thirties

Choosing Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Your Thirties

Unplanned pregnancies are just that: unplanned. Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us whenever we least expect it. No matter what age you are or what stage of your life you are in, an unplanned pregnancy can be a major disruption for anyone. That is why it is perfectly reasonable and understandable to not be ready or willing for such an intense and all-encompassing change in your life. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you every step of the way. If you are choosing adoption as a pregnant woman in your thirties, you’re in good hands. Adoption is always an option for you, no matter what your circumstances.  

Six Things to Remember When Choosing Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Your Thirties

1. You are Shattering Stereotypes. There are so many preconceived notions and common misconceptions about adoption. We are all too well-aware of the stereotype of the birth mother as a young, unwed teenager lacking in financial stability who chooses adoption and never sees her baby again out of shame; but, this is not always the case. Women have continuously and tirelessly overcome stereotypes and assumptions for centuries now, and the stigmas around adoption are no different. The truth of the matter is that expectant mothers like you come in all ages, colors, and creeds from all different walks of life.

2. You are Being Selfless, not Selfish. Women of all ages choose adoption for many reasons. But, at the end of the day, making this choice is always the most selfless act of love you can ever make for both yourself and your baby. Remember, you are shattering stereotypes here, and you are bestowing your baby with opportunities and a life you would not be able to otherwise provide. Adoption requires courage and selflessness. It is perfectly natural to feel grief over losing your parenthood when placing your baby for adoption, but you do not have to feel guilty for doing so on top of that. You are doing what is right and in the best interests of both you and your baby, and that is such an admirable and honorable act in and of itself.

3. You are Not Acting Alone. Many pregnant women in their thirties are choosing adoption as a viable option nowadays. Perhaps understanding a few of the many different reasons why other women in your age group decide to choose adoption may help you with your own decision.

  • You may already have kids. Maybe your family is already complete. If you already have kids, then you understand the full financial impacts, as well as all of the demanding and time-consuming responsibilities of raising children. Maybe you just cannot give another child the time and dedication that things like homework, sports activities, and school require without sacrificing the time and attention your other children already require.
  • You might be progressing or advancing in your career. We talked briefly about the misconceptions surrounding adoption, and financial instability is a big one. Perhaps just the opposite is true for you: you are financially stable and are moving upwards in your career, but you are just too busy at your demanding job to raise a baby. 
  • Your relationship with the baby’s father may be complicated. Most people assume that being pregnant in your thirties means you’ve found a stable relationship, but that’s not realistic, is it? What’s more, relationships are always complicated, no matter what age you are. Having a baby with your partner or spouse might make you feel like you are trapped or stuck with them, and staying with someone just for the baby isn’t fair to you, the baby, or your partner.
  • Maybe you just don’t want to be a parent. Maybe being a mom just isn’t right for you — and that’s ok! Parenting is not for everyone. Not only are you shattering stereotypes, you are breaking the mold. You are paving the path to self-empowerment for women everywhere who simply do not want kids by showing the world that it is ok to have your own ambitions besides raising children.

5. You have a Support System. There are several different types of support systems available to you. Not only are there adoption discussion forums and relatable firsthand accounts from birth mothers available online, but Adoption Choices of Missouri offers all kinds of support in the forms of financial aid, safe housing, medical care, and mental health counseling. We provide you with an adoption caseworker who will help you navigate these services and the entire adoption process, from picking out your adoptive family to making a birth plan.

6. You are in Complete Control. Choosing adoption gives you control over things like who will raise your baby and the degree of contact you will maintain afterwards. You get to choose an adoptive family based on your criteria, as well as deciding what level of involvement you would like. For example, open adoption allows for you to stay in touch with the adoptive family so that you have the opportunity to watch your baby grow up. We strongly encourage open adoption as we believe it keeps everyone’s best interests at heart. Open adoption is actually the most common form of adoption in the U.S. today, and it is just another example of how you can shatter the stereotypes and erroneous assumptions that surround adoption.

Adoption Choices of Missouri Is Here for Birth Mothers of Any Age

Despite all the common misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding adoption, it is perfectly practical and sensible choosing adoption as a pregnant woman in your thirties. Having a baby is a major life change at any age, and this far along in your existence you have already become accustomed to your current lifestyle. No one wants to feel like they are starting all over again in their thirties, and many women are now choosing later-in-life adoption. Thanks to practices like open adoption becoming more common, you can still be involved in your baby’s life and get to know the person he or she grows up to be without having the full responsibility of parenthood. No matter what your reasons for choosing adoption are, our adoption specialists will be here to help you every step of the way. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

You can Still Choose a Closed Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri 

You can Still Choose a Closed Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri 

As with any adoption, it can vary from birth mother to birth mother. The conditions or terms decided by the birth mother are always best suited in what she feels most comfortable with and believes will work for her and her baby. This includes what type of adoption she wants, who she wants to raise her child and how involved she wants to be after the adoption has been finalized. Each and every birth mother’s adoption journey will be as unique as she is. No two adoption processes will ever be the same

That said, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to share more information about the three types of adoption you can choose — specifically the option of closed adoption. Even though most adoptions are open in some way, you can still choose a closed adoption as a pregnant woman in Missouri if you feel it’s the best decision for you and your child. 

Closed Adoption – What Is It?

Early in the adoption process, birth mothers are asked how exactly they would like the exchange of information to be held when her baby is placed with his or her chosen adoptive family. If the expectant mother would prefer that her adoption journey have privacy, or she does not want to be involved in the adoption process, she could choose a closed adoption. In a closed adoption agreement, no identifying information is shared with the adoptive parents. No medical informational, contact information, etc. Everything is kept confidential. 

Then, once the adoption is finalized in court, all files related to the adoption process are sealed. Access to these can only be granted once the child turns an approved age. This can vary depending on what state you live in. For Missouri, the child must be at least 18 years of age. 

Common Emotions Associated with a Closed Adoption

One of the most common things birth mothers may feel when she puts her baby into the care of an adoptive family is regret. Guilt and many other emotions, like sadness, may come over you as well, but this is all part of the natural grieving process.  It’s not uncommon to feel these emotions throughout your adoption journey as making the choice to place your child for adoption is not an easy one.

Know that you are not cruel, selfish or weak to experience these feelings. Only you know what is best for you. Admitting that you are not able to provide for your child and putting your baby’s needs above your own is a decision that takes an immense amount of courage, strength and love. Adoption ensures that your baby, once placed in the care of an adoptive family, will have the best life he or she can have. This doesn’t mean, however, that it won’t be a bittersweet moment for you. So, if you find yourself struggling, don’t bottle it inside. Seek help from an adoption counselor or talk to a mental health professional. They can relieve your mind and help you find comfort in knowing that you made the right decision for both you and your baby. That you  gave your baby a better chance at success and the opportunity to live a happy, healthy life.

You can Still Choose a Closed Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri

The bottom line is that having a closed adoption does not make you a bad person or a bad mother. Any speculation or stigma about it is wrong and it is completely fine to go through with. Choosing a closed adoption is nothing to be ashamed of. It still ensures that your child will be placed in a loving home and be raised in a happy, safe and healthy environment. 

In addition, choosing a closed adoption as a pregnant woman in Missouri means that you get to maintain your privacy and have a sense of closure. Closed adoptions let you move on and put one of the hardest decisions you’ve ever had to make behind you. Despite the change the adoption industry has made over the past several years, closed adoptions are still available and an okay type of adoption to choose if you determine it’s the best decision for you and your baby.

For all things adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri here and let’s get started on your own adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the AuthorMy name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in. 

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning. 

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”

Birth Mother Blog

5 Ways Placing a Baby for Adoption can Change Your Life as a Birth Mother 

5 Ways Placing a Baby for Adoption can Change Your Life as a Birth Mother 

Adoption is such a great life-changing decision that you made after experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. As a birth mother, your selfless decision to give your child a better chance at a life through adoption will allow him or her to share wonderful experiences, and will enable you to be able to join in on these precious moments. 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, our adoption agency has listed the top 5 ways placing a baby for adoption can change your life.

  1. You can Become an Advocate for Adoption

Being a birth mother means that you could be an advocate for adoption, if you wish. Having your voice reach out on online media platforms like Facebook or Instagram will help you express the importance of adoption. Sharing your story may help you heal through the various emotions you may feel going through your adoption journey. 

  1. You will Get a New Extended Family

By choosing adoption, your child gets a loving adoptive family and you also get a new extended family of love that you will get to know. As a birth mother, you will get to spend precious moments with your child’s adoptive family, sharing experiences that your child will have, like family gatherings or vacations. 

  1. You will get a Second Mother’s Day

As a birth mother, you get a special holiday dedicated to you for the great decision to choose adoption for your child. Birth Mother’s Day happens the Saturday before Mother’s Day. This second Mother’s Day may bring up mixed emotions for some birth mothers about their adoption, but to have a special holiday that you can celebrate your birth child can help make you feel important. Having this holiday will remind you that, wherever you are, near or far, you are still a mother to your child.  

  1. You can Achieve Your Own Life Goals 

Adoption allows you to give your child the best life you want for them. It also allows you a chance to follow your dreams later in life. In your post-adoption plans, you can begin to work on yourself and accomplish your life goals, like going back to college, pursuing a better job opportunity, etc.

  1. You will Always Have a Special Someone to Celebrate 

Being a birth mother means that you will have a special someone always to celebrate. You will have a special event to celebrate with your birth child — like your birth child’s birthday, special holidays, or an event that highlights your child’s extracurricular activities and moments in their life. Celebrating the little moments that you get with your child will forever be held close to your heart. 

Advice to Birth Mothers in Missouri

Being a birth mother means that you will get all the positive benefits that come with adoption, and  be able to change your life as well. Whether this is through completing school, chasing your dream job or raising your other children, that’s up to you. Or, placing your baby for adoption could give you time to prepare for a family later in life. The possibilities are endless.

No matter what kind of adoption plan you have chosen for your child, adoption is such a positive choice and provides both you and your child with many positive benefits. Adoption will forever be the most rewarding decision you will make if you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant. To learn more about adoption and how it can change your life, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

What are Your Rights as a Birth Mother in Missouri? 

What are Your Rights as a Birth Mother in Missouri? 

Are you an expectant mother living in Missouri? Have you made the decision to place your baby for adoption in your state? If you answered yes to either of these questions, chances are you might be wondering what your rights as a birth mother in Missouri are. Some birth mother rights vary between states, so a few of the following will be unique to your state of Missouri. If you have any further questions about your rights, Adoption Choices of Missouri is happy to help answer those for you. 

The Right to Change Your Mind

Placing your baby for adoption is an emotional and life-changing decision. While we do recommend doing everything you can to make a confident and informed choice, there remains the possibility that you might change your mind. If you should change your mind about placing your baby for adoption, you have the right to keep your legal rights to your child and to inform our adoption agency of your decision. 

In Missouri, you have up until 48 hours after your child’s birth to legally change your mind. However, please keep in mind that changing your mind this late will impact not only you and your child’s life, but the lives of your adoptive family as well. 

The Right to Create Your Own Adoption Plan 

You will be in charge of creating your own adoption plan. Your adoption caseworker will be there to support you throughout this process. Your adoption plan will include details about your adoptive family, your hospital and birth plans, the type of adoption you want and what kind of communication you will maintain with your adoptive family throughout your pregnancy. This plan is meant to eliminate any surprises during your adoption journey and to help you feel prepared and safe. 

The Right to Make Your Plan Without the Birth Father

Depending on your own unique situation, it might be possible to move forward in the adoption process without the consent of the birth father. Usually, this option is reserved for cases in which the birth father is unknown, uninvolved or unsupportive. Our adoption agency will help you determine what move best fits into your adoption plan in this regard. 

The Right to Choose Your Adoptive Family 

The right to choose your child’s adoptive family rests with you. You will still have the support of your adoption caseworker who can assist you throughout this emotional decision-making process. Before selecting an adoptive family for your child, you will have the opportunity to browse potential family’s portfolios, speak to them on the phone and meet them in-person. If at any point during this process you wish to change your selection, that will always remain an option for you. 

The Right to an Attorney and Covered Legal Fees

In order to make an adoption final, a judge will need your consent to end your legal parental rights to your child. At this point, your adoptive family will become the legal guardians of your child. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, your legal fees during this finalization process will be covered. You will also have the option of selecting to have an attorney appear in front of the judge rather than yourself.  

What are Your Rights as a Birth Mother in Missouri?

These are some of your basic rights as a birth mother in your state of Missouri. Adoption Choices of Missouri is able to help you better understand your rights and to make you feel supported. Our goal is to help you stay informed and prepared as you proceed through your adoption journey. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

Birth Mother Blog

How to Begin the Adoption Process as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri

How to Begin the Adoption Process as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri

Are you a pregnant woman in Missouri wondering how to start the adoption process? While beginning anything new can be daunting, the good news is that Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to make your adoption journey as uncomplicated as possible. 

Beginning anything new can be a daunting experience, but as you set out on your adoption journey, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Our adoption agency can provide you with continuous help and support. 

Here are a few steps you can take to begin the adoption process as a pregnant woman in Missouri.

Consider the Benefits of Adoption For Your Life

If you are still having doubts about whether adoption is the right choice for you and your child, it can be helpful to start by listing the benefits to choosing adoption. While there are many benefits to choosing to place your child for adoption, the reasons you list will be unique to your situation. Maybe you can’t bear the financial burden of raising a child right now. Perhaps you have career goals that don’t allow space for a baby at this moment. Whatever your individual reasons for choosing adoption, creating a list can help you feel confident and secure in your choice. 

Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri and Schedule a Meeting

Once your decision has been made, you will begin the adoption process by contacting Adoption Choices of Missouri and scheduling a meeting. A birth parent counselor will come to you and assist you with the necessary paperwork. You will need to have proof of your pregnancy with you at this time, so make sure that you have that ready prior to the scheduled visit. This meeting is also a great time to ask any questions that you might have about the next steps in the adoption process or to voice any concerns. 

Select a Doctor to care through Adoption Pregnancy

When you have contacted our adoption agency and met with a birth counselor to complete all the needed paperwork, you can expect to begin searching for a doctor. This might seem early, but keep in mind that you will be in frequent communication with your healthcare provider throughout your pregnancy. It is important that your doctor is someone that you can trust and with whom you feel comfortable and safe. If you are choosing to give birth at home, you can also use this time to search for a midwife or a doula who will come to your house to assist with the birth. 

Find an Adoptive Family to Adopt Your Baby

A large part of the adoption process consists of finding an adoptive family for your child. Because this can be an emotional decision, remember that your adoption caseworker will be there to support you throughout this process. A common concern among expectant mothers is that they will not know enough about an adoptive family to be able to select one that will be perfect for their child. This is certainly not the case. 

With Adoption of Choices of Missouri, you will begin the process of selecting an adoptive family by reviewing any potential family’s portfolio. Here you will find information that may be important to you, such as religious beliefs and career choices, about each family. Once you have selected a family that you are interested in, you will have the opportunity to speak to them on the phone before meeting them in person. The choice to move forward with a family is always in your hands, but you can talk through your decisions with supportive friends or your adoption caseworker. 

How to Begin the Adoption Process as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri

These are just a few of the steps that you will take as your adoption journey begins. Adoption Choices of Missouri is available to answer questions and to make you feel comfortable and informed as you begin your adoption journey. Keep in mind that it is completely normal to have questions and concerns along the way and that you will be supported throughout. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

Birth Mother Blog

How to Choose an Adoptive Family 

How to Choose an Adoptive Family 

You have already made a tremendous and courageous first step by choosing to place your baby for adoption in Missouri. But what happens next? Our adoption specialists are here to help you through every step of the way, especially through choosing an adoptive family. We call this the matching process. It is important to us that the adoptive family you choose reflects your values and what type of parenting style you think is best for your baby. 

How involved do you want to be in their life? What do you picture when you envision your baby’s adoptive family? What parenting standards are significant to you? Let’s explore the different possibilities and find the answers to these questions together.

Getting Your Adoption Matching Process Started

Learning how to choose an adoptive family is just as easy as reaching out to us here at Adoption Choices of Missouri. Once you have contacted us, we will set you up with your adoption specialist to get your matching process started. All of our adoptive families are pre-qualified and licensed to adopt a baby within the United States. This means that your baby will go to a safe, stable and loving home, no matter who you choose.

After you meet your adoption caseworker, both of you will work together to help you find the best type of family to suit your needs. First, you will choose what type of adoption you want: open, closed, or semi-open. Open adoption is currently the most popular form of adoption in the U.S., because it allows for you and the adoptive family to stay in touch and maintain communication, rather than the anonymity and finality of a closed adoption. 

We strongly encourage open adoption because we believe it is the most beneficial for everyone involved; but, ultimately, it is up to you what type of adoption you would like to pursue. Your adoption caseworker will be able to walk you through the pros and cons of each option. 

Next, you will look through an adoptive parent profile book while your adoption caseworker helps you narrow down the search based on your requirements. Envision your baby’s adoptive family and decide which qualities are important to you. What does this adoptive family look like? Do you value diversity or any specific cultural or religious backgrounds? Do you want their life to be similar to your own upbringing in certain ways so that you can share certain hobbies or traditions, or do you want their childhood to be a completely different experience from yours? 

The Top 5 Criteria to Consider when Choosing an Adoptive Family

  1. Family Composition: Envision how you would like for your baby’s adoptive family to be composed. Let’s discuss what that may or may not look like:
  • Do you picture a large family or a small one? It may be important to you that your baby has siblings to grow up with, or you may want them to grow up as an only child.
  • What about pets? It may or may not be important to you that your baby grows up with the responsibility and companionship that comes with having a pet. 
  • What about the parent or parents — do you prefer the prospect of a single parent or a two-parent home? Single parent homes are a viable option and becoming more and more common. 
  • What about their sexuality — do you only imagine a heterosexual household or are you open to the idea of an LGBTQ+ home? A queer parent or same-sex couple or individual can provide a very loving, accepting, and nurturing home.
  • Is the age of the parent or parents important to you? Perhaps you would prefer the wisdom of a much older parent, or maybe you want a younger parent who will be able to engage in more physical outings and activities.
  1. Hobbies, lifestyle, and interests: Try to imagine what the adoptive family’s everyday life together will look like. Naturally, you will want them to offer financial stability, but what are you looking for in terms of physical and mental stability? Perhaps you visualize weekly game nights or a daily designated family dinner time. Maybe it’s important to you that they are very active together, or maybe you imagine more academic and bookish pursuits. Do you want them to share any of your creative hobbies or passions that are important to you to pass on? Or are there hobbies and activities that you never got to experience growing up but want your baby to experience?
  2. Parenting styles: How strict, disciplined, or laid back would you prefer your baby’s adoptive family to be in their approach to parenting? Maybe you had very strict parents and would prefer your adoptive family to be a little bit more permissive, or perhaps you grew up without a lot of guidance and want your adoptive family to be more authoritative. No matter what your concerns are, we will help you to find the right adoptive family that fits your parenting philosophies.
  3. Racial, cultural, or religious backgrounds: Consider how open you are to your baby being placed in different cultural, ethnic, or religious backgrounds. Transracial adoptions are becoming more commonplace and are a great way to celebrate diversity. Perhaps religion is important to you and you would like to see certain religious or cultural traditions passed down, or perhaps the exact opposite is true and you would prefer for the adoptive family to not be religious at all. No matter what level of diversity you decide is important to you, your baby will be placed in a safe, loving, and nurturing home.
  4. Geographic location: Reflect on what sort of setting in which you picture your baby’s adoptive family. Do you picture a more rural background in the country, or do you imagine a bustling cityscape? If you have decided to go ahead with open adoption you may want to consider how close or far away they will live from you. Distance matters if you plan on making future visits with your baby as he or she grows.

We are Here to Help You Choose an Adoptive Family

There are many adoptive family criteria for you to consider, from the smaller aspects of everyday life to the overall picture of core beliefs and parenting practices. You get to decide what qualities and criteria are important to you when learning how to choose an adoptive family. Our adoption specialists are here to help guide you through every aspect of the matching process. It is important that you manage your expectations and remember that not every family is perfect, but rest assured that we will find the best fit for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

I’m Pregnant and Addicted. Can I Choose Adoption?

I’m Pregnant and Addicted. Can I Choose Adoption?

The challenges birth mothers face are immense and can be overwhelming at times, sometimes to the point of where it can take a serious toll on your mental and physical health. Addiction and pregnancy are two of the hardest things to handle, no matter how much strength or resilience any expectant mother may believe she has. Combining the two — struggling with an addiction while experiencing an unplanned pregnancy — is something different entirely.

But don’t worry. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you. If you are a pregnant woman who is fighting an addiction, you are not alone. Adoption is an available option to you, and we have resources and services that can help ease your anxiety and stress levels. You will be treated no differently than any other expectant mother who walks through our doors, as each and every woman we assist is valued and important to us.

Addiction Does Not Make You Weak

First, let’s give a reminder to you: your addiction does not make you weak. You are still wonderfully made and a strong woman who wants the best for herself and her baby. Being pregnant and addicted, whether it be drugs or alcohol, does not cancel out the love you have for your child. You want him or her to have a better life and better chance at happiness, because you know you yourself cannot provide that.

There is absolutely no shame in seeking help. Parenthood is not for everyone. Showing the initiative in wanting to place your baby for adoption is a surefire sign that you care for your child and want the best for them. You and your child both deserve the chance at a bright future, and adoption can give you that.

Adoption is an Option

To adapt the words from an old adage, the first step to recovery and healing is admitting that you’re not in a place where you can provide the life your child deserves. This is not something that is easy to admit either. It takes a lot of strength and courage. So, we want to acknowledge that upfront. By looking at adoption as an option, you are showing that you want what’s best for your baby. 

Placing your baby for adoption is absolutely something you can consider if you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant and struggling with an addiction. We work with expectant mothers from all backgrounds and will never turn you away. The moment you agree to work with our adoption agency, you will get full access to our free counseling, legal and adoption services, along with financial assistance if you are found eligible. 

Finding an Adoptive Family when Pregnant and Addicted

Being pregnant and addicted does not void your chances of giving your baby to an adoptive family. In fact, it is one of the strongest and most selfless things you can do, as you know in your heart you are doing the right thing for your child. Additionally, all of our prospective adoptive families have been made aware that the baby may struggle with addiction early in life. 

Be sure to consult with your doctor and healthcare provider if you have any questions or concerns about this. If your baby is in need of any medical help after birth, your medical team will be the best resource for that.

Addiction Recovery Services are Available to You

If you are interested in recovery or becoming clean from your addiction, be sure to discuss this with your adoption caseworker. They will be able to provide you with the resources you need to find local recovery centers and programs in the area. Know that there is no pressure either way. The decision is completely up to you.

We’ve helped many birth mothers who have taken advantage of these services, and were able to heal and establish a healthy relationship with their birth child after the adoption was finalized through open or semi-open adoption. Just as many decided that they weren’t ready to commit to that and wanted to continue with their addiction after giving birth. So, it’s best to ask yourself if you honestly feel ready for the huge undertaking and the devotion needed to taking care of yourself and have the chance at a better future. 

Can I Choose Adoption if I’m Pregnant and Addicted?

Absolutely! Adoption is always an option for you, no matter what your circumstances are. Our adoption center in Missouri works with pregnant women and soon-to-be birth mothers from all walks of life. You will never be treated with anything but respect, support and compassion when you choose to place your baby for adoption with us. Both you and your baby are important to us, and we will do our best to meet your needs and ensure that you have a positive and empowering adoption journey.

In the end, you and your baby will both be prosperous and healthy. Choosing adoption when you’re facing an unwanted pregnancy and struggling with an addiction is not the end of you. Rather, it can be the beginning of a beautiful adventure. Reach out to us at Adoption Choices of Missouri to learn more. Let’s get started together.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the AuthorMy name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in. 

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning. 

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”

Birth Mother Blog

Adoption Choices of Missouri’s Tips to Survive the Holidays as a Birth Mother

Adoption Choices of Missouri’s Tips to Survive the Holidays as a Birth Mother

The holidays can be tricky, especially if you are a birth mother who has recently placed her baby up for adoption. Don’t worry, though: Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to guide you through this time with tips and tricks to make the holiday season easier to cope with. One of the best ways to manage this time is to take the very best care of yourself. You are the priority.

Start New Adoption Traditions

Your Missouri adoption may not have been what you planned for your life, but you made the best decision you could for you and your baby. Now what? You can discover a whole new way to spend the holidays and incorporate your adoption into your traditions. 

If your adoption is open, you may be able to spend time with your child and their adoptive parents. This is a great opportunity to start a new tradition and connect with your child. For example, you and the adoptive parents can decorate the tree together or make gingerbread houses; it does not matter what you do, as long as you spend time together. 

If your adoption is semi-open or closed, you have fewer options, but that does not mean you can’t make this time festive. You can write your child a letter or send a gift through your adoption facilitator in a semi-open adoption or ask the adoptive parents for a photo of the child. You can hang a special ornament or light a candle in honor of the child. There is no right or wrong way to commemorate this time. Just make it special for you. The holidays are a time of celebration and opportunity. 

The holidays can also be a great time to reconnect with family and friends. You can incorporate them into your holiday adoption traditions or talk about your feelings surrounding your adoption with them. Family and friends are excellent sources of support during the adoption process and after. Use your resources and remember you are not alone. 

How Can I Take Care of Myself During the Holidays?

Fortunately for you, Adoption Choices of Missouri has a wide range of services available to their birth mothers, including supportive counseling. We have different types of counseling available to meet your needs. In addition, we offer one-on-one support groups and birth mother retreats supportive counseling to all birth mothers during and after the adoption. 

One-on-one counseling is available if you want to vent or cry, or whatever else. These are your sessions, and you can do whatever you would like with them. Support group counseling allows you to connect with other birth mothers who have gone through or are going through a similar situation. It can be encouraging to talk to other birth mothers, and these sessions can remind you that you are not alone. Birth mother retreats are like support group counseling, but birth mother retreats allow you to “retreat” from your day-to-day life and focus on your feelings. Birth mother retreats can double as a kind of vacation, where you can get away while simultaneously focusing on your emotions.

What Else Can I Do?

Exercise is another great way to practice self-care. Not only does exercise benefit your physical body, but it also benefits your mind. Exercise releases endorphins that can improve your mood. Reading is another way you can take care of yourself during the holidays. Reading allows you to escape and disconnect from the world. Writing is also a great way to channel your feelings and energy; writing your feelings down can be therapeutic and help you during this difficult time. 

Remember why you chose adoption for your child in the first place, whether it was because you felt you were not ready to parent or because you wanted to give someone else the gift of starting or adding to their own family. Adoption is a gift that birth mothers give to their child and adoptive parents. You are giving your child the opportunity to have a better life and be loved and cared for by people who can fully support them. You give the adoptive parents a child they can love. And adoption is a gift to you: it allows you to pursue your dreams and goals while ensuring that your child is adequately cared for. 

Contact Us Today!

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we take care of our birth mothers long after completing the adoption process. We do not abandon you after the baby is born and expect you to fend for yourself. Choosing adoption can be difficult, especially during the holidays. Call or email one of our adoption agencies in Kansas City, St. Louis, Springfield, Columbia, or Independence. You’ll be glad you did! 

RaynaMeet the Author: Rayna Batiste is an alumna of the University of West Florida with a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing. Having graduated with honors, she hopes to attend graduate school at New York University, majoring in Journalism. Rayna is also a United States Air Force veteran who enjoys watching documentaries about pretty much any subject, learning, and spending quality time with her family and friends. She is also a fitness enthusiast and an avid Peloton user.
Her hobbies include brunch (yes, brunch is a hobby), fashion, makeup, and of course, reading and writing. Rayna has a real passion for the written word and correct grammar and syntax. She enjoys manipulating sentence structure and experimenting with punctuation in her writing. She’s what you would call a “werd nerd.” She was also recently featured at the Pensacola Museum of Art for her work, entitled Triangular Geometry.

Birth Mother Blog

6 Interview Questions from a Birth Mother: Advice for New Birth Mothers 

6 Interview Questions from a Birth Mother: Advice for New Birth Mothers 

Going through an unplanned pregnancy can be an overwhelming experience. When I was going through my adoption journey, having an agency that understood me and listened to all my concerns was important to me as a birth mother. Working with Adoption Choices of Missouri, I gained the support that I needed by having my birth parent caseworker, Kim, work with me throughout my adoption journey.

My adoption experience was a positive open adoption with my birth child’s adoptive family. Through the agency, I became close to my adoption caseworker and became part of a new family. I have listed my six interview questions that your chosen adoption agency may ask you if you consider adoption for you and your baby.

Interview Questions from a Birth Mother 

  1. How did you feel finding out you were pregnant? 

When I discovered I was pregnant, it was a shock and unplanned, as I was only eight weeks along and only 28-years-old. I was hesitant to contact the birth father involved, as we weren’t really on speaking terms. However, I did get in touch with him, and he said he was not ready to be a father, but he stood by whatever decision I made.

  1. What was your pregnancy like? 

My pregnancy was as normal as it could be, with all the aches and pains that come with being pregnant. I ate healthfully, for the most part, but always craved ice cream or something sweet. I gave birth to my daughter at 38 weeks; she weighed six pounds and five ounces, and I named her Holly. 

My pregnancy journey was a bit different because I was doing it with the limited support of a partner. But, nevertheless, I had a healthy pregnancy and delivery. 

  1. Why did you choose the path of adoption?

I chose to place my baby for adoption to give my daughter a better life. She deserves parents who can provide her with the great opportunities that I could not provide for her. I was not in a season in my life where I could give her what I wanted to. Adoption, for me, was a better choice for my child and me. 

  1. How has your adoption journey been?

My adoption journey has been a positive experience, filled with endless guidance and support. My adoption caseworker, Kim, was there to guide me through every part of the adoption process. She had the patience to let me ask her as many questions as I wanted. Also, she took her time explaining what would happen in the next few days, months, and in the future. She went over my chosen adoption plan and made sure that I was okay with all the wants,  needs and the personal preferences that I listed. 

  1. What were questions and concerns that you had during your adoption?

My questions and concerns about my adoption journey involved asking more personal questions, and about explaining my daughter’s adoption story to her. I didn’t know how to explain to her how difficult my decision was, but my adoption caseworker helped me with that too — as did her adoptive parents. Having all of this support made me even more grateful for my decision and that  Holly made me a birth mother. 

  1. How will you share your adoption journey?

I chose to share my positive adoption story through many online social media accounts, like Facebook or Instagram. Sharing the joyful and the difficult moments of adoption that leave me a bit sad when I am missing my daughter was an important part of my adoption journey that showed my true struggle. Adoption may have its hard moments, but, as a pregnant woman considering adoption, it changed our lives for the better. This choice is a great one, as it helps adoptive people have a family, birth mothers who aren’t ready or able to raise their child, and helps give the child an opportunity for a better life.

Advice for Birth Mothers

Finding the right adoption agency that fits your personal preferences for adoption will be up to you as a birth mother. These six interview questions from a birth mother, and many others, will help you determine what is best for you and your child. Your adoption caseworker may also present other questions that you haven’t thought of as well. 

But, all in all, we hope that this interview has helped inspire you and will be more than happy to address any questions or concerns you have if you’re interested in placing your baby for adoption. Our adoption agency is here to support and guide you every step of the way. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.