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Adoption Choices and You Podcast

July 13, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Adoption Choices and Youis a new podcast created for birth mothers and adoptive families who are considering adoption. Each week, the team shares valuable adoption information, tips and advice, adoption stories and more.

If you are a birth mother and considering adoption, please contact Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouriare here to help! In the meantime, have a listen to the podcast!!

For Kansas adoption information visit us at Adoption Choices of Kansas. Call us at 877-903-4488. Text us at 316-209-2071.

For Missouri adoption information visit us at Adoption Choices of Missouri. Call us at 877-903-4488. Text us at 816-527-9800.

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The Top Three Benefits of Open Adoption

July 13, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

The Top Three Benefits of Open Adoption

An open adoption is one that is selected quite frequently by birth mothers. It allows for visitations to become more frequent, and it typically allows for things like strong, positive bonds to form more quickly, and stay permanent within the adoption triad. For these reasons, open adoptions are usually the most successful type of adoption, and we hope to highlight that to you today. With good reasons also comes strong benefits, and today we want to list to you three benefits of open adoption, that we hope will educate you on why you should select an open adoption for your baby.

If you need help now, Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Benefit #1: Positive Relationships within the Adoption Triad

With an open adoption, you make arrangements with your child’s adoptive family or caseworker to see your baby for contact and visits as he or she grows. Visits can vary, depending on each of your comfort levels and what is deemed appropriate; yet, having this opportunity can allow you and your child to build a strong and positive relationship. As your baby grows up, he or she will recognize the impact you have on his or her life. They will cherish every moment that they have with you. Even though your baby will have an adoptive family, you will always be your child’s birth mother.

An open adoption also allows you the chance to form a healthy and strong relationship with your child’s adoptive parents. We encourage you to begin getting to know them as early as you can and maintain contact throughout your adoption journey together. Be sure to work out how things will look moving forward so you can all be on the same page together.

Day by day, you will see how your bonds with your child’s adoptive parents and your child themselves grow and deepen. Positivity shines the brightest through any negatives, and an open adoption can allow you to truly be able to form a strong, everlasting and positive connection with your baby and their new family.

Benefit #2: Communication with Adoptive Parents and Your Child

Just like with building a positive connection, communication is a factor that will allow your adoption to be unlike any other. When you frequently communicate, you not only build a strong relationship with your baby’s adoptive family, but you also show both of them how committed you are to the adoption journey and how much you care.

Communication goes a long way with an open adoption and the key to success!

Benefit #3: Your Connections will be Noticed by Others

As you already know, maintaining a good relationship with your baby and child’s adoptive family are important. Something that you may forget, though, is that your baby will meet and form connections with members of not only your family, but also with members of his or her adoptive family.

Your families may decide to get together for a meal or for a holiday, and you both may wish to have your respective family members present at that event. When this happens, these important family members will quickly be able to see that you have spent an extremely significant amount of time making a connection with your baby, and with your adoptive family. Positivity does not go unnoticed. The more positiveness that you bring to the table, the more respect will be given back to you as a result.

Benefits of Open Adoption

The three benefits of open adoption allow for you to build the strongest and most positive relationship you can have with your baby and his or her future adoptive family. Through healthy and consistent communication, connections can be made and will remain everlasting. Adoption Choices of Missouri remains available to help you. We are here to answer any questions or concerns that you may have about an open adoption.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena College in Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!

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Prison Adoption Success Story

July 10, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Prison Adoption Success Story

Every adoption journey can have a successful story. This may seem impossible, but we’ve seen it happen many times! As an agency, we encounter birth mothers from every walk of life and help them all have the most positive and empowering adoption journey possible. From open adoptions to semi-open adoptions, LGBT adoptions to transracial, single parents to homeless birth mothers.

Whatever your situation or circumstance, Adoption Choices of Kansas is here for you! Today, we invite you to look at Beth’s prison adoption success story, an expectant mother facing imprisonment back in 2017 and choose to place her baby for adoption.

Beth’s Story

Beth knew that placing her baby for adoption was the best decision to make for her baby. This would be her third child, and she wasn’t able to provide him with the life he deserved while she was incarcerated. She wanted her son to grow up in an open adoption and two parent home.

With the help of the prison, she was able to get in touch with an adoption caseworker, who helped Beth through her options and begin her adoption journey. She addressed her preferences and was later matched with an adoptive family who had been searching for two years. They agreed to meet with Beth via video conference, through which she gained their trust and developed a healthy relationship with the prospective couple. They were able to arrange an approved visitation schedule, and Beth kept in touch through letters to both the adoptive family and her caseworker.

What Does this Mean for Me?

It’s extremely important to understand that you have full rights to an adoption while incarcerated. There are programs that can help inform and educate you on your options. Prisons are becoming more and more known for implementing programs that provide you with options or allow you to raise your baby behind bars.

Is a Prison Adoption Success Story Possible for Me?

Of course! Adoption is always an option. You are still able to communicate with our agency, place your baby for adoption and choose adoptive parents. You also have the opportunity to give birth in a nearby hospital. Depending on the reason for your incarceration, however, some details of your adoption journey may vary, but this can all be discussed with your caseworker and prison.

But know, no matter what, adoption is always an available option for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

References

Beth’s story: https://www.catholiccharitiesaz.org/blog-categories/foster-care-and-adoption/facing-prison-mom-chooses-adoption

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Transracial Adoption Success Story

July 8, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Transracial Adoption Success Story

When a birth mother hears about transracial adoption, there may be feelings of worry surrounding how her child will remember and learn about his or her birth family and community. This valid concern is not always met with an easy answer or solution. Many transracial adoptees may not grow up to know about their birth families and cultures, which can lead to poor self- esteem and feelings of isolation within their adoptive families.

Yet, there are just as many transracial adoptees who have had positive experiences with their adoptive families, who have prioritized the adoptee’s cultural identity. This week Adoption Choices of Missouriwill be discussing a transracial adoption success storyand what has made it successful. Today, we will be hearing Elisa’s story that highlights important points that have contributed to her success as a transracial adoptee.

Having a Relationship with the Birth Mother and Birth Community

Elisa was adopted at the age of three by her adoptive parents, David and Joan, and was raised in Vermont. Elisa was not talkative at first, as she took in her new surroundings, home and family. Even before Elisa began to talk, her adoptive parents showed her photos of her birth mother, explaining to Elisa who her birth mother is and how she is doing. David and Joan decided to have and maintain communication with Elisa’s birth mother as they established their adoption agreement and started their adoption journey together. Through the exchange of letters and photos, David and Joan were able to talk and share news about Elisa with her birth mother, and vise versa, as Elisa grew up.

By having her adoptive parents welcome any questions, Elisa did not have to wonder who her birth mother was, what she was like, or about her birth culture. Elisa’s birth mother had an active role and presence in her life and her adoptive parents’ lives. Through this, Elisa learned the significance of her birth culture and developed a strong and healthy sense of identity as she grew up. She didn’t have to struggle with feelings of loss and guilt, or put up emotional barriers, because she had the answers readily available to her..

Adoptive Parents Supporting their Transracial Adoptee’s Cultural Identity

Beyond David and Joan establishing and maintaining communication with her birth mother, they welcomed Elisa’s identity and culture. They did not forget, erase or remove her identity and culture. To protect and nurture Elisa, they put their interests and concerns aside. They cultivated an environment that protected her against bigotry and promoted belonging. They acknowledged that race and culture matter.

Being connected to one’s culture and heritage is essential for transracial adoptees. Elisa’s adoptive parents asked themselves before starting on their lifelong adoption journey, why do we want to adopt? They also took time to research and understand the culture she came from. The most important holidays, the food and what life was like within her birth culture. This helped them better connect not only with Elisa, but also her birth mother. Before adopting Elisa, David and Joan thought about what their child will need to live and flourish in the world and how they could have their own transracial adoption success story. One of the many essential things they committed to doing was recognizing and respecting the birth mother’s want to be a part of her child’s life.

Finding Role Models that Uplift

Elisa’s adoptive family made an effort to find role models in their community that were successful, which showed Elisa that she could be successful too. Having successful role models in her life as she grew up allowed Elisa to see and realize that she is worthy of success. That stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination are wrong, and that the negative narratives perpetrated in society are not true. Having good role models also helped Elisa further connect with her culture and continually foster a positive sense of belonging and community. Role models also helped Elisa further to validate her adoption story as a transracial adoptee. Elisa grew up to know that she is her own person and not a child that her adoptive parents saved.

The Secret to Transracial Adoption Success

All adoptee stories are unique, and Elisa’s story shares with us a few things that made her adoption successful. Her adoptive parents put Elisa first. This made a significant impact on how their adoption journey turned into a transracial adoption success story. Elisa’s adoptive parents were not afraid to ask for help, paid attention to representation in their community and school and checked their biases. They also had open communication with Elisa’s birth mother, which allowed them to develop a relationship with her, and further strengthen their relationship with Elisa.

Everyone has a different definition of success, but one of the most important factors of adoption success is always putting the interests of your child first. To not place your personal agenda before your child.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

Sources:

Harness, Susan Devan. “Adopting a child of a different race? Let’s talk.”

Address presented at TedxMileHigh. YouTube. Last modified July 25, 2019.

Accessed July 1, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORk3TGSCl4.

Mehra, Nishta. “10 Tips for a Successful Transracial Adoption.” Mash-Up

Americans. Accessed July 1, 2020. http://www.mashupamericans.com/family/10-tips-for-a-successful-transracial-adoption/

“Transracial Adoption: How to Help Your Child Succeed.” Right Turn. Accessed

July 1, 2020. https://rightturnne.org/transracial-adoption-how-to-help-your-child-succeed/

Blog

Transracial Adoption Success Story

July 3, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Transracial Adoption Success Story

Who Are Transracial Couples?

In the adoption world, there are many types of adoptive parents you can select to raise your baby. However, there is one in particular that is not spoken of very often — transracial adoption. Having your child raised by adoptive parents of a different race may seem uncertain to you, but we assure you that transracial adoptions are very successful and will teach your child important lessons about themselves and the world around them.

Adoption Choices of Kansas would like to highlight a transracial adoption success story with you to illustrate this.

Brad and Chemaine’s Story

Brad and Chemaine are a transracial couple from Washington D.C. They are headed to Houston, Texas, to meet their daughter, Layla, and her birth mother for the first time. At first, the couple was very hesitant about choosing to adopt a baby who was due to be born in a few weeks, but they were excited when they got the call and couldn’t wait to fulfill their dreams as parents. What’s more — their daughter was already born! The couple was not expecting their daughter so soon, but they quickly ensured everything was in place and ready for Layla’s arrival. They found a MeetUp group for adoptive parents and attended as often as they could..

When Brad and Chemaine met their daughter’s birth mother, she requested a semi-open adoption agreement. The couple agreed to the birth mother’s terms. Brad and Chemaine had already talked about how they would tell Layla her adoption story. In fact, as soon as she turned two years old, they read her books about adoption and used positive adoption language with her right away. This went very smoothly, and helped Layla develop a strong sense of self and connection to her birth culture and heritage.

Layla’s adoptive parents wanted to make sure that their daughter knew that they loved her and celebrated her differences. That there was nothing wrong with being of another race. Raising Layla in their family taught them a lot about a race and ethnicity outside their own, and even more about respect, acceptance and tolerance.

Why Choose A Transracial Couple to Adopt My Baby?

Brad and Chemaine’s transracial adoption success story is very unique and shows the beauty of transracial adoption. If you are a birth mother who wants to place your baby with a transracial couple or individual, know that this is an amazing decision.

Transracial adoptions are becoming more common and is a beautiful way to blend families. Varying skin tones, race, ethnicity and culture can broaden an adoptive parents’ understanding of the world and help teach your child to celebrate identity and individuality. Your child will still have all the love their adoptive parents have to give and their best chance to succeed in life.

Your caseworker is available to talk to you, in case you have questions or concerns.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Blog

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

July 1, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

For the month of July, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be focusing on adoption stories. This week, we will be discussing single parent adoption success and what that means. Until recently, single parent adoption was quite uncommon and has been framed in negativity in the past. Our society has held to the stereotype that a child needs two parents. However, single women and men have shown in recent decades that they are just as successful to be parents.

It is important to note that no one is perfect and everyone has a different definition of “success.” Being a single parent of an adopted child is a unique experience that is both rewarding and challenging. Having a strong support system as a single parent is essential and can help with one’s adoption journey. What does single parent adoption success look like? What does one need to consider before adopting as a single parent? Let’s find out.

Why Single Parents Want to Adopt

Single parents, like married couples, desire to adopt a child and have a family. He or she is prepared to take on the role of parenthood, and nurture and love a child in a secure, healthy environment. A single parent can provide for a child physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Studies have proven that a single parent is often more emotionally and financially stable, and can give their child a fulfilling life.

What to Acknowledge before Single Parent Adoption

A successful single parent hasn’t taken the choice to adopt lightly. They’ve carefully thought through this life-changing decision. This is extremely vital to the process, and an adoption professional will want to know that you are being honest with yourself. That you fully understand the commitment of raising a child. For instance, knowing how to deal with the challenges from societal perspectives and pressures of being a single parent.

It can be helpful for both you to learn the experiences of other single parents, and ensure that you have a support system around you in the good times and bad. You should remember that you do not have to go through any of your adoption journey alone. Achieving single parent adoption success comes with help from others who value your child’s life and your well-being. It is also important to reflect before becoming a single parent of an adoptee and realize that everything you do for your child is in his or her best interest.

Growing and being Successful as a Single Adoptive Parent

To thrive as a single adoptive parent, remember to take care of yourself. Self-care is beneficial for yourself and will help you maintain a balanced mindset to provide the best life for your child. This will carry through the more challenging moments where you feel overwhelmed and doubtful. Surround yourself with people who are not judgmental, but who encourage and inspire you. Who spark your confidence and sense of independence. These two positive characteristics can, in turn, teach your child and help them establish a strong sense of self.

Take one thing at a time. Know that you can and will get over hurdles that adoptive parenthood presents. Stay motivated. Rely on your trustworthy support system and remember that the environment you create as a single parent will stay with your child forever. So, make sure your home is happy, healthy, safe and promotes success.

Furthermore, know that your role as a single adoptive parent does not end once your child is grown up. Your responsibilities may change and manifest in different ways, but you are still a parent and the same person who decided to start a family.

Single Adoptive Parents

Single parent adoption success shows that single parents can provide stability for their child, and that the child can have the best life possible — as much as he or she would in a two-parent family. Adoption Choices of Missouri celebrates single adoptive parents and believes that they deserve the chance to raise families.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

Sources:

https://www.adoptionstogether.org/adopting/single-parent-adoption/

https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/single-parenting/surviving-and-thriving-as-a-single-mom/

Birth Father Blog

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

June 24, 2020 Adoption Choices of Missouri No Comments

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

By Melissa Benedek

There may be many things that come to mind when you think of a birth father. You might think of a birth father as the father of a child who he is not aware of or present in the child’s life. You might think of a birth father as someone who is not married to a birth mother. There are many assumptions one can make, whether correct or incorrect, about who a birth father is. Yet, many beliefs are founded upon stereotypes that are negative and portray all birth fathers as absent, careless and lazy.

There is not much accurate information available about birth fathers in general. However, Adoption Choices of Missouri believes it is important to recognize that birth fathers are as important as birth mothers in the adoption process. A birth father, whether he is known or unknown, is a part of the child’s life and the reason he or she exists. He may be in a relationship with, married to or divorced from the birth mother. Knowing the role of each birth parent is essential to understanding adoption and how it affects everyone involved.

To clarify, let’s discuss the two different types of birth fathers — known vs. unknown — and what each entails.

Who is a Birth Father?

To begin, let’s first establish who a birth father is. A birth father is the father of a child who is adopted or is in the process of becoming an adoptee. A birth father’s relationship with his child varies depending on his position in the adoption journey. Some birth fathers may or may not have parental rights and some may or may not be in a relationship with the child’s birth mother. What remains constant is that a birth father helped bring life into this world, and will forever be a part of his child. Every birth father is unique as is his child.

Types of Birth Fathers

A Known Birth Father

When a birth father is known, he may be in favor of adoption, have a neutral opinion or be against it. If a known birth father does not want to be involved in the adoption process, he will need to sign away his parental rights so the adoption can move forward and be legally finalized.

On the other hand, if a known birth father wants to be a part of the adoption process and is in favor of adoption, he and the birth mother can meet with an adoption agency to create an adoption plan. Even if the birth father chooses to be involved in the adoption process, the birth mother still has ultimate say on what this looks like. This largely depends on what kind of relationship the birth parents share. For instance, a birth mother is more apt to allow the birth father to help support her if they have a strong and healthy relationship. However, if they are recently split or haven’t been on speaking terms for a long time, she might not feel comfortable with him being there. Whatever the case, the birth father must be prepared to respect the birth mother and support however she chooses to place her child for adoption.

Showing support and committing to the adoption plan with the birth mother shows that the birth father wants to give his child a better life. Adoption is a very emotional decision and not one that can be taken lightly. Adoption Choices of Missouri is dedicated to helping birth parents through the initial adoption, transition and beyond. Counseling services are available to both the birth mother and father at no cost to either of them.

An Unknown Birth Father

An unknown birth father is someone who is either not around or not known by the birth mother. In other words, she doesn’t know anything about him. He could be anyone from a one-stand to a man who sexually assaulted her. Unknown birth fathers are, unfortunately, very common within the adoption industry. But don’t worry. This doesn’t mean that your adoption process will be halted. You are still able to place your baby for adoption and search for prospective adoptive parents.

In cases like this, our agency does our due diligence to locate him with any and all information the birth mother is able to provide. If the birth father does not appear within the allotted time, the adoption process is allowed to continue and become finalized without his signature.

Birth Fathers and Adoption

If you are thinking about adoption or have already begun your adoption journey, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you determine if your child’s birth father is known or unknown, and can provide guidance as to what steps to take. Remember that you are making a crucial decision that can be life-changing for your child, and that we are here to support you every step of the way. Depending on your situation with your child’s birth father, his presence or absence will not impact your adoption journey, so long as you and your baby are safe and healthy.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your specific circumstances, don’t hesitate to reach out to our adoption caseworkers. We are more than happy to put your mind at ease, and will ensure that you have the most empowering and positive adoption journey possible — both with and without your child’s birth father.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

Adoptive Family Birth Mother Blog

Choosing an Adoptive Family for Your Baby

June 1, 2020 cairs-admin No Comments

A fulfilling part of the adoption process is choosing the adoptive family for your baby. Adoption Choices of Missouri only works with families who are licensed to adopt a baby in the United States. Our adopting families have all been pre-screened and are ready to provide a safe, stable, and loving home. No matter what you are looking for, we believe there is a family out there that is a perfect fit for you and your baby.

To decide which adoptive family is the best fit, consider these questions:

Are you open to a single parent, or do you prefer a two-parent household?
Are you open to a gay, lesbian, and/or transgender couple?
Do you prefer a family in a specific location?
What kind of family values and views on parenting are you looking for in a family?
Is the family’s religion or spiritual beliefs important to you?
Do you prefer a family that already has children or plans to have/adopt more?
Is it important to you that the family have a large extended family they are close with?
What hobbies and interests do you want the family to have?
Does it matter to you whether one or both parents work outside the home?

We can help with these decisions and help you find your adoptive family! Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri for more information Serving Expectant Parents Statewide (in Missouri and Kansas) Expectant Parent Hotline (24/7): 1-877-903-4488

Adoptive Family Birth Mother

Signs You’ll Make a Great Mother

June 1, 2020 cairs-admin No Comments

Whether you’ve been thinking about starting a family for a while or have just begun to ponder the possibility, you may be asking yourself: do you have what it takes to be a great mother? To answer this, let’s explore what it means to be a mother. Some women know intuitively, but there are others who want to learn more about motherhood. For instance, those who are about to become moms.

It is important to remember that no one is perfect, including mothers. It can be a challenge to set unrealistic expectations that you think need to be met to be a great mom.But keep in mind, you’re human, and all you can do is try your best. Don’t compare yourself to others and try not to feed into pressures about what a great mother “should” or “should not” be. You might be a lot more prepared to be a mother than you believe, and once on your motherhood journey, you’ll learn and grow with your child. The bottom line is: don’t let doubts stand in the way of becoming the best mom you want to be.

If you are Hoping to Adopt and you want more information, call us at 1-877-903-4488. In the meantime, here are some signs you’ll make a great mother:

You love and accept yourself. Before embarking on your motherhood journey, it’s important to know your worth and confidence. You accept and embrace your flaws that don’t define you but make you unique. You realize that even though life throws many ups and downs, you have an inner optimism that won’t waver. Loving and accepting yourself will help you love your child unconditionally and teach them to be confident. Practicing self-care is another essential part that benefits self-acceptance. Try not to put your well-being on the back burner, whether it be your body or mind. Setting the time to take care of yourself will help you nurture your child and be present in the joys of motherhood.

You are patient. You know how to listen and understand the importance of hearing what others have to say before jumping to conclusions or making decisions. Having self-control in your work and personal life demonstrates to yourself that you are self-aware. Self-awareness helps you not to become easily overwhelmed by small things, which is a part of motherhood. Children make mistakes and accidents happen. Everyone makes mistakes, and knowing how to handle them will positively shape you being a mother. Practicing measures of patience shows your strong level of responsibility and mindfulness. Instead of immediately wanting to take the route of reprimanding, you know how to take the time to assess situations calmly before explaining your perspective and the proper steps to take. Demonstrating patience in your life will help to instill that value in your child as they grow.

You are devoted. Being committed to your work, your relationships and your hobbies show that you do things to the fullest. As a dedicated individual, you also make realistic choices and goals that are feasible and not impossible to achieve. You know that becoming a mother will push you to practice this virtue of being devoted even more, where you’ll help your child grow and learn in a safe, loving environment. You also know that it is essential to balance such devotion between your child as a mother, yourself as a partner and yourself as a friend. It is healthy to maintain equal amounts of time in all your roles as a person and remember that you, too, are entitled to a reciprocated commitment from your partner, your family, and friends who care about you.

You know how to ask for help. Sometimes life can get hectic, and not everything goes as planned. Maybe your job promotion fell through, or your travel plans got canceled last minute. Regardless of the reason, it can be easy to get overwhelmed, especially about things that are out of your control. It is important not to overbook yourself and to remember that you’re not superhuman. Once on your motherhood journey, you know that there will be exhausting times, but that you can comfortably reach out to your partner, family and friends for an extra hand for little and big things. Communicating for help is an additional value that can be instilled in your child as they see their mother practice such an action.

You know how to place boundaries. Whether it’s in the workplace or at home, you take charge of your responsibilities. You’re able to say “yes” or “no” when dealing with matters without being indecisive. As you grow as a mother, you can use your skills from experience to set boundaries for your child, which will teach them to follow the rules and the values that your family exercises.

Signs You’ll Make a Great Mother

These are just some signs you’ll make a great mother. The list could go on. If you’re thinking about starting your motherhood journey, remember that every person is different, and it is okay if you don’t believe you have all of these personal characteristics mentioned. You likely have the traits to be a great mother! It is also okay to be a little anxious about becoming a mother, and that is natural. That shows that you’re seriously thinking about what it means to have and raise a child. Your life will change in surprising ways as a mother, and with a strong support network by your side, you’ll be able to face the challenges along the way and embrace the journey.

If you are Hoping to Adopt and you want more information, call us at 1-877-903-4488.

Birth Father Birth Mother Blog

What Expectant Parents Need to Know about the Adoption Process

June 1, 2020 cairs-admin No Comments

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, the ins and outs of the adoption process can be overwhelming. As an expectant mother, you are likely filled with many questions as you begin to navigate your potential journey toward adoption. While the adoption process can be overwhelming, there are numerous adoption resources available for you. The circumstances surrounding adoption vary widely, so it is important to really consider whether adoption is the right choice for you and your family. Despite whether or not your pregnancy was planned, you are here researching adoption, and making an informed decision is to be commended.

Within the adoption process, the hard things can become easier with the right understanding and mindset. As an expectant mother, you hold the key to the adoption process. The adoption triad, as it is often called, refers to you the expectant parent, the adoptive parent(s), and the child. Within that triad is a great deal of emotional complexities. However, if you travel through your adoption journey with the lens of what is best for your child, you will remain successful in your decision-making process concerning your child. Adoption Choices of Missouri seek to organize the adoption process into a meaningful overview, which will hopefully help you. While not every detail of the adoption process will be discussed here, the overall points of the adoption process will be.

What Is Adoption?

Adoption is a “legal process in which parental rights to a child (whose biological parents’ parental rights have been severed) are bestowed on adopting parents, creating a parent–child relationship where one did not previously exist. The adopted child has all the same legal rights and responsibilities as a biological child, including rights of inheritance.”

While the term “relinquish” may seem harsh, it is important to understand that as an expectant parent, you are the centerpiece of the adoption triad, and nothing happens without your continual consent and initiation. In order to be able to decide if adoption is the right decision for you and the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy, you first have to truly understand what adoption means. To further your knowledge of adoption, let us also explain that it is a matching process. As the expectant parent, you will be given a say in which prospective adoptive parents you would like your child to be placed with. So, while the legal jargon will exist, you will have your personal touch on the parent-matching process.

What Do You Want in Adoptive Parents?

You will need to decide what type of family you want for your child. This will include everything from their occupations, their family structure, what they do in their spare time, and everything in between. Think of this as the “best-case scenario” for your child. Do you want your child to be in a culturally diverse family or part of a certain religion? Remember that there will be a matching of sorts taking place with the prospective adoptive parents, so you will need to be sure of what you are looking for in a family.

In adoption, the process of selecting an adoptive family for your child is often called the “matching process.” This process typically involves you reviewing several profile books of adoptive families that meet your predetermined criteria. For example, if you have expressed that you want a culturally diverse family, Adoption Choices of Missouri will only show you the profile books of the families that met that specific criterion. Meeting adoptive parents in person can be an option based on your request. While the matching process can be intimidating, and perhaps uncomfortable, the purpose is to serve as a time for you to get some insight into prospective adoptive parents. No family will be absolutely perfect, so you will need to keep “what is best for my child” at the forefront of your mind.

What Type of Adoption Do I Want?

As you learn more about the adoption process, you will find that there are different types of adoptions available to you. These include open, closed, and semi-open adoptions. Kinship adoptions also exist, but these are adoptions that occur within biological families. For example, an aunt and uncle legally adopt their biological niece. Open adoption means that the relationship between the biological family and adoptive family is open, which would likely mean in-person visits.

The types of adoptions can vary and change over time, but, in general, an open adoption involves both parties being as open as possible. Some examples of open adoption may include the biological family attending the birthday party of the child or maintaining social media contact including video chats and similar media outlets. A closed adoption means that there is no ongoing contact between either party. Lastly, a semi-open adoption means that there is contact between both parties periodically. This contact does not likely include in-person visits but instead may include letters and pictures throughout each year. You will be able to decide what level of openness, if any at all, you’d like in the adoption plan you create for your child.

Adoption Is Right for Me, Now What?

Now that you have decided that placing your child for adoption is right for you and your family, you will begin to work closely with Adoption Choices of Missouri . We will begin to guide you through each step. Some of these steps will include paperwork and other legal discussions that can potentially be overwhelming, but it is our goal to keep your well-being as our top priority. During this time, you will ideally be provided with services like preplacement counseling to begin to help you understand and process what placing a child for adoption will look and feel like.

During your adoption journey, it is critically important that you get all of the counseling that you need. Such services can continue and should continue after placement. Your adoption professional will partner closely with you through the initial stages and into the matching stage with an adoptive family, placement, and finalization. Each of these stages of the adoption process brings its own challenges. As the expectant parent, you need to continue to communicate openly and honestly.

Adoption: From Start to Finish

Hopefully, at this point, you have a general overview of the adoption process. While this article does not discuss the process in complete detail, it does provide a general understanding. As an expectant mother, you will quickly discover that within the your journey you will have to muster up every ounce of strength, courage, and selflessness that you can. No part of the process is easy. The emotional challenges are monumental. And unfortunately, the decisions that must be made in all of their difficulties hardly wait for your emotions to catch up.

The adoption process should not be portrayed as an easy thing because it is far from easy. This is not meant to scare you as an expectant parent, but it is meant to keep you knowledgeable of the process ahead. With all that being said, however, there are resources across our country that make the adoption process manageable and a blessing for all involved. As with anything else, there can be less than desirable aspects to adoption, especially when you partner with agencies or other entities that function in unethical ways or those entities that approach adoption as a business. Adoption is a sacred and tender process, and it should be treated as such, especially when it comes to you: the expectant woman.

As a reminder, as you begin the adoption process, remember what is most important to you in terms of your child. Search your heart in light of your circumstances. Then, seek trusted counsel as you strive to make the most informed decision as possible regarding your pregnancy. Make an intentional effort to remember that if you do choose adoption and you walk through the adoption process from beginning to end, that you will need post-placement care. It will be easy to have the mindset of, “It’s done, so now I can move on.” However, that outlook can potentially lead to emotional trauma for you down the road. To avoid that and to maintain an emotionally healthy life after placement, you will need to be disciplined in your post-placement care. You may find yourself having to advocate for yourself as you obtain counseling.

Regardless of whether or not you actually complete the adoption process, your wisdom in evaluating all of your options as an expectant parent is to be complimented. Your desire to do what is best for you and your family speaks volumes to the love you are already showing for your child. Parenting comes in many different forms, and adoption is just one of those forms. If adoption ends up being part of your story, please know there are strong and thriving adoption communities that will not only love you through it, but will also support you as an expectant parent.

Contact Adoption Choices of Missouri for more information
Serving Expectant Parents Statewide (in Missouri and Kansas) Expectant Parent Hotline (24/7): 1-877-903-4488

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