Birth Mother Blog

4 Self-Care Tips for Birth Mothers in Missouri Adoption Process

4 Self-Care Tips for Birth Mothers in Missouri Adoption Process

By David Seamonson

The adoption process is like a marathon. Everyone tells you how to prepare for it, but the journey is yours. Considering adoption can be a difficult decision, with many hurdles in your future. To prepare yourself for those challenges, you can follow the same steps that help keep marathon runners focused on race day. When it comes to training for a race or marathon, you are preparing physically for the distance ahead of you, but most of all, you are proving with each step of training that you can get through to the next step. Here are some self-care tips for birth mothers that we at Adoption Choices of Missouri have created to help you keep focused through your pregnancy and prepare yourself for what happens after you finish with a private adoption service.

Tracking your progress during the adoption process

While It may be difficult, based on your situation, to write down your thoughts and feelings, it is a benchmark to determine how far you have come since day one. The first days are difficult, but when you question why you are going through adoption in Missouri, you can look back and see why you made your decision. While a runner has spreadsheets and fancy watches to track calories, distance, and heart rate, you have the journal to help track what is important to you.

A recommended way to complete a journal is to think about a good thing in your day, a bad thing, and what you want to do tomorrow. In other words: a rose, a thorn, and a bud. There will be days that are difficult ahead of you, and there are also days that will be a lot happier. You can also list five things that you are thankful for in your life. This can help you to stay out of your head and think about all of the good things that are around you still.

Self-Care Tips for Birth Mothers

1. Sleep

The best way to help prepare for any physical action or stressful activity is to have a sleep schedule. Having 7-9 hours of sleep can help you to feel ready to take on the world. It increases brain function and the ability to control your emotions, allowing you to formulate a schedule. By having a strong sleep schedule, you can have better sleep, and waking up to take on the next day will not seem like quite as big a chore. Having a strong sleep schedule also increases the quality of sleep you will have. You set yourself up to be ready for whatever life throws at you. Sleep is one of the best ways to prepare yourself for whatever life can throw at you.

2. Walk

While marathon runners start small and then ramp up to longer distances, getting out and experiencing some fresh air can help you focus on yourself. It helps with exercise, gives you an excuse to move around, and gets you outside. Being outside helps if you are feeling trapped by your pregnancy. When you go outside, it can help you to focus your thoughts and calm yourself in difficult situations. Walking also stimulates blood flow, which keeps you alert and ready for anything the world can throw at you.

3. Hydrate

Hydration is key. Everyone has heard that the human body is around 70% water, so keeping yourself hydrated can help keep body functions a very high factor. Water can help enhance all senses and make everything you do sharper and much better focus. A good rule of thumb is to drink about half of your body weight in ounces of water. It can help with digestion, brain function, and sleep. Just don’t drink too much water before you go to sleep.

4. Eat

Taking care of your nutrition during pregnancy is important not only for the baby’s growth but for your own health. A balanced diet will reduce the risks of anemia, as well as other unpleasant pregnancy symptoms such as fatigue and morning sickness.

During the adoption process, remember the simple things

Taking time for yourself is very beneficial. Athletes focus on things like this to go through their daily lives. Staying healthy, physically and mentally, can help you prepare for the future and the challenges you could face going through the adoption process. While many other things happen in Adoptions in Missouri, there are many similarities between what you can do for yourself and what high-tier athletes do. Four ways to help you through this process are getting outside, hydrating during the day, documenting your day, and getting enough sleep. These things can help you incredibly get through the adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Support After My Adoption Journey

Support After My Adoption Journey

By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa

You’re looking for support after you’ve placed your birth child up for adoption. But you don’t know where to look. That’s okay. Some birth mothers find themselves lost after they’ve placed their birth child up for adoption. They don’t know what to do next. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have counselors who can help you find your footing. All you need to do is ask, and you shall receive. 

What Adoption Support is Available to Me in Missouri?

Birth mothers can choose counseling, financial, and medical support. Whenever the birth mother needs counseling throughout the adoption process or after, it’s available to them. Counseling isn’t just for birth mothers. It’s for the birth fathers as well. Some people tend to forget about the birth father during the adoption process. So that’s why the counseling is catered towards both birth parents. 

If the birth mother or birth parents find themselves struggling with money. Depending on how much is allowed to give. Our agency will help them. Not every birth mother’s situation is the same. So we break down what is needed so we can help cater to them. 

Medical care is expensive, and not everyone can afford it. This is why we help birth mothers with their medical bills during pregnancy and birth. Our agency will cover any hospital bills that pop up. Throughout the pregnancy, the birth mother shouldn’t have anything that will cause them stress. 

Our agency is a private adoption service. Any information that is shared with us will not be posted online. For others to see. We’re here to help birth mothers with everyday tasks. They find themselves unable to do. 

Is Counseling Available After My Adoption Placement?

Counseling is available to birth mothers who:

  • Have just decided they want to place their child up for adoption
  • We are currently going through the adoption process
  • Have finalized the adoption papers and are going through the adoption placement

All in all, counseling is available to any birth mother who needs it. It’s available to the birth fathers as well. So if you’re pregnant and considering adoption, you’re eligible to receive counseling, whether it’s for what to do next. Or what your options are going forward.

Why Do I Feel Lost After My Adoption Placement?

Some birth mothers feel lost after their adoption placement because they look at adoption as “giving the child up.” Adoption isn’t “giving the child up.” It’s giving the birth child a better opportunity at life. 

Most of the time, birth mothers place their birth child up for adoption. It’s because it was an unplanned pregnancy. But they decided to keep the baby and place them up for adoption. 

Another factor is why some birth mothers feel lost. Is that their thinking about what the birth child will think of them? So it brings on some conflicting feelings of guilt and shame. Guilt because they think they’ve “given” the birth child up. While shame is surrounded by what they think the birth child will think of them. 

What Can I Do to Get My Mind Off of My Adoption Placement?

Ways to get your mind off the adoption placement are by:

  • Seeking out counseling/therapy
  • Going to support groups 
  • Traveling with friends or family, or by yourself
  • Yoga or meditating 

All ways that will get your mind off the adoption placement. While putting you at peace and ease at the same time. Suppose you’re looking for ways to get your mind off the adoption process. You can search for “adoption agencies near me” and talk to their agents.

What are the Different Kinds of Emotions Birth Mothers Go Through After the Adoption Placement?

With the adoption process and the adoption placement. Some birth mothers tend to feel:

  • Guilt
  • Sadness
  • Shame
  • Regret 

Without having the birth child in front of them. Some birth mothers tend to make up ideas in their heads. Of what the birth child is thinking of them. By not having the birth child with them, they’re thinking of the birth child:

  • Doesn’t think kindly of them
  • Doesn’t want to meet them
  • If given the opportunity, I won’t want to speak to them

Is Adoption the Last Time I’ll See My Birth Child?

When doing Adoption in Missouri, there are three different kinds of adoptions to choose from. In an open adoption, you want to keep in contact with the birth child. Have a relationship with the adoptive parent (s). So, they can inform you about the birth child. You’d like to be able to send them messages to have a relationship with them if this is something you’d like to do. Then you can choose open adoption. 

In an open adoption, birth mothers can share contact information with the adoptive parent (s). To keep in touch and have tabs on the birth child. But that’s not for everyone. Some birth mothers would rather the adoption agency handle any communication with the birth parent (s). If you don’t want to have a relationship with the adoptive parent (s). Or share contact information with them. Then you can choose semi-open adoption. 

You found yourself wanting the adoption agency to handle everything during the adoption process. When asked if you wanted to choose the adoptive parent (s), you said you’d rather the adoption agency choose for you. For example, having a relationship with the birth child after they’ve been adopted. If this is you, then you can choose a closed adoption.

If you’ve gone through the adoption process and are looking for support. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Adoption Grief vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference and When to Seek Help

Adoption Grief vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference and When to Seek Help

By Carl Roth

For birth mothers, an adoption plan doesn’t end with your baby being placed. There are still obstacles to overcome, and they largely originate from within. It is common for you to go through an emotional toll when giving a child up for adoption. Navigating grief stages is easier with trusted allies at your side. However, if grief leads to depression, there’s an even greater need for a specialist’s help.

Our Adoption Choices of Missouri team knows how important time post-adoption is for birth mothers. Post-placement care is always accounted for those who are pregnant and considering adoption. There’s a variety of effective options to consider, and your private adoption specialist can help you find which ones work best for you. Grief and depression are no small hurdles to clear, but our resources put birth mothers in a position to proceed confidently. 

Understanding Adoption Grief vs. Depression

Grief Stemming from Adoption and Pregnancy

While everybody’s adoption process varies, certain aspects of the journey are inevitable. Experiencing grief is always anticipated, coming and going at different stages. Nobody can be sure when exactly grief will hit hardest because your mental construction differs from all others. Some birth mothers may feel their strongest emotional reactions at the precise moments of significant decisions and parting ways. For others, it takes time for the weight to set in and take its toll. Grief can come in short, concentrated spells and in longer, subtler presences.

Simple reminders of your difficult choices can often trigger it during pregnancy. Over time, you’ll learn when and how your bouts with grief originate, gradually reducing confusion. 

The human mind isn’t designed to go numb to the feelings of sorrow brought on by loss. However, understanding patterns of grief can help you monitor your current condition. The kind of anguish stemming from giving up your baby is not akin to most mourning. It isn’t quite losing a loved one because they are just beginning their life in a different place.

Nevertheless, feelings of sadness can be present when pondering what could have been. One important trait of grief is that it tends to decrease in frequency and potency as time progresses. It can flare up when faced with reminders of your child but is not a constant presence throughout your waking hours. A birth mother experiencing grief can still enjoy life despite their recurring turmoil.

The goal isn’t to forget but to accept and use your experiences to progress. It won’t be easy, but the support of loved ones and time can contribute to a healthy resolution. If you feel professional care is needed, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri’s counseling team for more information. 

Is it Depression You are Feeling After Your Adoption Journey?

Whereas grief tends to be a recurring burden, depression is signaled by more serious symptoms. Depression’s impact is all-encompassing, with even the most basic parts of your life being affected. It hangs overhead like a cloud, making simple tasks become a challenge.

The occasional enjoyment that can still be found while grieving is not present when depressed. Symptoms like weight loss and insomnia sometimes accompany the feelings of prolonged emptiness and hopelessness. Some birth mothers are more prone to its affliction than others, so keep in mind whether you’ve experienced it before. 

Depression is a serious condition, and waiting it out isn’t always the best course of action. It can be a destructive force in anybody’s life, so seeking professional help is vital. Adoption Choices of Missouri takes birth mother depression seriously, and our team can provide counseling or link you to an outside specialist. Your health and well-being are our priority through adoption, so please share your struggles with us. 

Can support groups help with the adoption healing process?

Whether you’re going through grief or depression, seeking structured forms of mental support is a wise endeavor. Many birth mothers find support groups valuable resources for a healthy recovery post-adoption. Having the support of friends and family is important, but they might not provide the benefit of shared experiences in your case. Support groups exist for this very reason. Judgment is inherently reserved when in the company of those who have gone through a similar ordeal to yours.

All birth mothers are familiar with grief, so expressing your feelings and hearing others is a hugely advantageous exercise. Women connected by adoption agencies near you will have different perspectives on comparable experiences, which can be insightful in your search for solace. 

If you’re unsure or need more information, reach out to our Adoption Choices of Missouri team. We can address any concerns or curiosities you may have and connect you with a nearby support group. Your specialist will help chart a plan that continues your care post-placement.

Support groups may be an option that greatly benefits you, so do consider them. It helps to have an open mind when approaching adoption grief/depression care options. Hear what your specialist has to say and take time to explore the avenues of support available to you. 

Learn more about post-adoption care in Missouri

Placing your baby for adoption is difficult without trying to endure the aftermath alone. Powerful emotional effects stemming from an unplanned pregnancy are not to be ignored, and your adoption specialist is paying attention. They can help identify what is troubling you and find the best way to approach your case.

Planning an adoption in Missouri doesn’t end at childbirth, as post-placement care holds primary importance. You deserve to be happy despite your troubles, and Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you on your way ahead. Starting the next chapter becomes easier with structured support giving you the push to propel you forward. Speak with your adoption specialist to find care options for addressing your grief or depression as soon as possible. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800

 

Birth Mother Blog

What if I Don’t Want any Counseling After the Adoption Process?

What if I Don’t Need any Counseling After the Adoption Process?

By Jonathan Tick

A birth mother’s choice for choosing adoption in Missouri should be hers and hers alone. Some women may view the adoption process as a positive experience worth sharing or treasuring. While others may see it as a part of their lives that they’d rather not talk about. Both ways of thinking are valid, and Adoption Choices of Missouri wants you to feel comfortable with your decisions.

So how does the adoption process change if a birth mother just wants to give a child up for adoption? Below are a few ways your adoption process may or may not change if you opt out of additional support and a few things to consider if you are choosing to abstain from some of our adoption agencies’ resources.

What Changes in the Adoption Plan?

For the most part, the adoption plan doesn’t really change. You are in charge from the moment you step into one of our local adoption agencies. So naturally, any support you want from our adoption agencies in Missouri is open to you. How much or how little support you want is also completely up to you as well. However, your adoption specialist may or may not suggest some options for you to take while you work with us. That being said, those are just suggestions.  

As for what gets affected, any kind of support can be altered by this. Therapy, financial support, and other forms of pregnancy care can be provided as much or as little as you want. The adoption plan is something that can only be crafted or adjusted by you.

Can I Still Work with My Local Adoption Agency Regardless?

Of course! Even if you’re opting out of pregnancy care, there are still a lot of ways we can help you.  

Adoption in Missouri is usually a more involved process than most people realize. For instance, if you’re thinking about going through with open adoption or not. Birth mothers who want to keep a connection with their child after birth are becoming more common as of late. And facilitating that future lifelong connection requires a lot of help and assistance from your local adoption agency.  

Our adoption agencies in Missouri have a huge list of available families just waiting to take a baby home. And a resource like that wouldn’t be possible if you weren’t partnering up with Adoption Choices of Missouri. Our screening process lets all kinds of different families and guardian pairs become future parents. So from the rainbow of options available, we hope you’ll be able to find one that you like. If not, we’ll get you more so that you can pinpoint the perfect family for your baby.  

After the birth, any privacy or line of communication will also be something that we handle on our end. These options exist because many birth mothers want different things with their Missouri adoption. Rest assured, your identity will remain a mystery to your baby’s adoptive family if you choose to keep it hidden. And your right to know how your baby is doing will be secured if you want a connection after birth.  

Are There Other Things to Consider?

For all intents and purposes, it’s within the mother’s right to reject all forms of support if she wants to. That being said, there’s one thing that we highly recommend you seek help on regardless: legal help.  

Due to the legal complexities of adoption, getting legal help if you’re pregnant and considering adoption is highly recommended. Knowing your rights as a birth mother in regards to your baby can be very useful. Especially if you ever feel uncomfortable or if something feels off during your adoption process.  

Legal counsel can especially be helpful in the case of an unsupportive birth father. Who may or may not be fighting to secure his rights of parenthood in the face of you adopting out your baby. This kind of situation can create a kind of ‘legal hell’ that some birth mothers just aren’t equipped to deal with. So taking advantage of our legal resources in spite of not wanting support may be useful in the long run. And even if you don’t see a point, at least you know your legal boundaries as a birth mother. So that’s nice to know about.  ]

Choosing Not to Pursue Counseling After the Adoption Process

At the end of the day, your right to be supported either financially or through counseling is entirely up to you. Adoption Choices of Missouri wants you to feel comfortable with the decisions you make. So if that means that you want us to lessen the amount of support provided, we’ll do just that. However, it’s strongly recommended to consider even just a few of the options offered by your adoption specialist. As you never know what kind of situation may arise during your adoption process. And when it comes to the safety of you and your baby, sometimes it’s better to be safe than sorry.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

 

Birth Mother Blog

What is covered in adoption counseling?

What is covered in adoption counseling?

By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa

After going through the adoption process, you’re starting to feel guilt about the process entirely. But don’t know who to talk to about it when it comes to seeking out help. You’ve never done it before. So, now that you’re thinking about it. You don’t know where to start. At  Adoption Choices of Missouri, our counselors will help answer any questions you may have.

What is adoption counseling?

The adoption process is different for everyone, what one birth mother may be experiencing. It may not be the same as another. Adoption counseling is for birth mothers who have already gone through the adoption process. Or are you going through it currently?

It’s there to educate birth mothers who are pregnant and considering adoption. Especially if the pregnancy was unplanned, if the pregnancy was unplanned, the adoption counselor will be there to go over the options the birth mother has available to them.

What do they talk about during the adoption counseling sessions?

At your local adoption agency during the counseling session. The counselor will ask the birth mother:

  • How do they feel about the adoption?
  • Do they feel regretful about their decision?
  • Do they change their mind about the adoption?
  • What emotions are they going through in regard to the adoption process?

What are the benefits of adoption counseling?

For birth mothers who have decided to place their birth child up for adoption. As a result of an unplanned pregnancy. Adoption counseling will help them overcome any unwanted emotions. They may feel towards the adoption process. Some of the benefits of adoption counseling are:

  • If you’re new to the adoption process, the counselor could help guide you
  • Any questions or concerns you have about Adoption in Missouri will be answered
  • The counselor will help explain why you’re not giving a child up for adoption. But instead are placing them up for adoption. 
  • If you’d like to be in the birth child’s life after the adoption. The counselor could show you how.
  • Any feelings of grief and regret could be healed after a couple of sessions.

Who is adoption counseling for?

When it comes to adoption, there is birth mother grief. This means that since the birth child has been placed up for adoption. The birth mother will start to feel guilty. Which, as a result, leads them to have grief or loss. 

Some birth mothers tend to feel grief or loss towards the adoption process. Since they think they’ve given the birth child up. But it’s the opposite. The birth mother is giving the birth child a second chance by placing the birth child up for adoption. Depending on the type of adoption chosen. The birth mother will still be able to form a relationship with the child.

What type of adoption counseling sessions are there in Missouri?

Similar to therapy, adoption counseling has many different types. Those being:

  • One-on-one sessions
  • Support groups
  • Birth mother retreats

If the birth mother chooses a one-on-one session. They’re given the privacy of just themselves and the counselor. Any questions the birth mother may have? The counselor will answer it. During the session, the counselor will review the options available to the birth mother. They can choose; to keep the baby, place the child up for adoption, or terminate the pregnancy. 

With support groups, the birth mother will be in a counseling session with multiple other birth mothers in the same boat. Their experiences won’t be the same. But similar in a way, the birth mother could relate. In this session, the counselor will go around the circle and ask the birth mothers to relay their experiences. Either with the adoption process or the pregnancy as a whole. 

Now, birth mother retreats are a type of vacation just for birth mothers. It’s where birth mothers relax and spend time with other birth mothers. They’ll be able to bond and grow from their experiences. While overcoming any difficulties at the same time. 

Why should birth mothers seek counseling after placing a child up for adoption?

Birth mothers should seek counseling because bottling up emotions isn’t healthy if the birth mother has any questions or concerns regarding the pregnancy and the adoption process. Instead, they should tell someone before it’s too late. 

When it comes to adoption, once the birth child has been adopted, the parental rights are taken from the birth parents and given to the adoptive parent (s). So, if the birth mother knows they’ll regret placing their birth child up for adoption. Or they know they’ll feel guilty. The birth mother should find an adoption counselor and relay the message. 

Counseling may feel like a hurdle, but it’s helpful to overcome it at the end of the day. Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Why Does Missouri Adoption Still Carry So Much Stigma?

Why Does Missouri Adoption Still Carry So Much Stigma?

By Jonathan Tick

There can be some negative feelings for birth mothers when they think about pursuing adoption in Missouri. While adoption has become more common, the stigmas surrounding adoption have also stuck around. As a result, some birth mothers think giving a baby up for adoption might not be their best option.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to reassure birth mothers that adoption is better than what those stigmas say. You may feel unsure about the decision to pursue adoption, and that’s ok. However, we want you to choose what’s best for your unplanned pregnancy. Below are a few stigmas and stereotypes about adoption and how they compare to how adoption works.

1) Birth Mothers Are Too Lazy to Take Care of a Child

While it’s true that birth mothers have reasons to seek adoption at a local adoption agency, laziness usually isn’t why. Birth mothers who seek our adoption agencies in Missouri can have many different reasons why they’re seeking adoption. Maybe they believe that they’re not mentally fit to raise a child. Or maybe their home situation they think isn’t suitable to raise a child. These reasons usually keep the child in mind. And the mothers don’t see their baby as something disposable or something they can pawn off at an adoption center.  

2) Adoption is as Simple as Dropping Off the Baby

The adoption process is much longer and more involved than people think. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, the birth mother is there controlling every step of the process via their adoption plan. This process usually spans the entirety of their pregnancy up to the baby’s birth. This is because we believe that the birth mother should control their and their baby’s future so that she can feel confident in her choices and decide for herself what’s ultimately who or what is best for their child.

3) Birth Mothers Never See Their Children Again

It’s true that birth mothers in the past never saw their children again once they were adopted. But these days, the opposite is happening more and more. These new forms of adoption are referred to as ‘open adoptions. ’Where the birth mother stays in touch with their baby and adoptive family once the baby is born.    

When choosing adoption in Missouri, birth mothers are given the option to keep in contact with their baby. If they do so, regular contact is done at the birth mother and adopted family’s discretion. This way, children no longer have to wonder where they come from. And they can potentially embrace their identity as an adopted child knowing that their mother was thinking of their future. Instead of wondering forever about the reason why their birth parents didn’t want them.  

4) Adoption Creates ‘Irregular’ Families

As time marches, the idea of ‘regular’ families has become increasingly muddied. LGBTQ+ families, families with divorced parents, and other combinations of guardians have become more common than nuclear families. As such, the argument that adoption creates irregular families becomes something harder to argue for.  

Not only that, but adopted children are more likely to feel even more loved by their adopted family. Especially since our parent screening process usually selects families willing to care for their newly adopted children.  

5) Adopted Children Will Hate that They Were Adopted Out

This stigma usually comes from classmates teasing the adopted child about the fact that they were adopted. Or because of other things like not knowing who their parents are due to never talking to their birth parents. These factors can contribute to a negative outlook from the child. And can dampen their mood and feelings about their situation as an adopted child.  

While this negativity hasn’t completely gone away, adoption has slowly been seen in a much better light. And many outlets on social media look at the practice positively instead of as something to be ashamed of. Which are some positive ways an adopted child can see their situation as something to be proud of and cherish.

6) Only Certain People Can Adopt Children

Adoption agencies may have strict screening processes, but the criteria they’re looking at are looser than you may think. Adoption Choices of Missouri screens every potential family to ensure they can take care of the child. Either by ensuring they have a good enough environment to raise the child or by knowing their willingness to care for them.  

While it may seem strict at first, in reality, many different kinds of people can become adoptive parents. We have files of single parents, LGBTQ+ parents, and a whole list of other combinations as potential adoptive families. Our goal is to ensure that every child makes it to a good home ready to take care of them, as that’s how the birth mothers and we ultimately decide that you get the opportunity to care for their child.  

So if you’re looking to adopt, Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

4 Fears about giving a baby up for adoption in Missouri 

4 Fears about giving a baby up for adoption in Missouri 

By Carl Roth

Adoption in Missouri can be complicated, and it’s natural to fear experiences you haven’t encountered before. However, asking questions to address your concerns is the best way to determine if adoption is right for you and your baby. Their healthy growth is most important to you, and you want to feel confident with your course of action. If you’re pregnant and considering adoption, there’s no shortage of resources to inform you of the possibilities. Adoption Choices of Missouri wants to provide you with the honest answers to your most pressing unplanned pregnancy questions.

Our team of experts serves to fulfill your every need throughout the various stages of the adoption process. We realize what is at stake for you and have the best interests of you and your child at heart. Partnering with us means gaining needed clarity for your most challenging decisions. Your greatest fears have our attention, and you’ll have nothing but the best access to adoption resources and care to suit your needs. 

Fear #1 Uncertainty about the adoptive family

Ensuring your child’s safety is everything, and the Missouri adoption process was designed with safety at the forefront. You can be heavily involved in the family selection process if you wish. This way, you can get a personal feel for what your child’s future caretakers will be like as parents. The number of waiting families is high, so filtering can be done if you’re looking for specific types. Additionally, these families are screened by your local adoption agency to meet the proper criteria.

Even after you place your baby, the family does not gain custody for an additional six months. A social worker checks on them to make sure that the adoptive home is as loving as you’d hoped. Stability and compassion are what adoptive families are judged by, and their love will be enough for your baby. You may also choose open adoption to check in with your child periodically. It doesn’t mean they’re outside of your care, even if they aren’t in your custody. 

Fear #2 Child will grow up confused or angry about adoption

An unplanned pregnancy is difficult enough without the concern for your child’s future feelings toward your decision. Adoption is a complex concept for a young child to digest, and the meaning will not become clear until they mature. As is expected with a child’s curiosity, they will have questions for their adoptive parent(s) and you. The adoptive family will be forever grateful for your selflessness and will surely paint you in a positive light. As your child grows into adulthood, they will come to appreciate the struggle you’ve gone through to put them in the best position. We assure you they will grow up in a loving home where they won’t feel compelled to resent you. To be certain that your fears will be heard, express them with your Adoption Choices of Missouri expert. Your personalized adoption plan will reflect any and all aspects of the process you value most. 

Fear #3 Challenge of starting a family post-adoption 

If you’re a younger birth mother, you might be concerned about how giving your child up for adoption impacts future family plans. There’s a good chance that you’d like to start a family and have planned children in the future. From a legal standpoint, transferring custody of your child to another family won’t impact your guardianship of other children you have. Every pregnancy is treated individually, so choosing adoption for your child is an isolated case.

On a personal level, you may fear that having children later can create guilt for not raising your adopted child. As stated before, the adoptive family you choose will provide all the love and care your child could ever need. When combined with the love you hold for them, their development is nothing to be guilty of. You’re looking to provide the best home environment possible for your children. Once your situation meets your criteria for raising them, there’s never any shame or issue with family planning. Adoption isn’t meant to hinder progress toward your goals but rather enable an ideal resolution to an unforeseen trial. 

Fear #4 Complexity of Missouri adoption process

There’s a reason that adoption agencies are made up of experts for every step of the process. No birth mother could be reasonably expected to navigate all of the legal and medical procedures on their own. From selecting a family to choosing a hospital to have a judge sign the adoption order, there’s a lot to account for. Adoption in Missouri is not straightforward, but your actions are greatly simplified with a team of experts at your side. Adoption Choices of Missouri will handle the complicated steps and provide you with the essential decisions. Your overarching preferences dictate how your unique path will unfold throughout your pregnancy. However much control you’re looking for, your adoption expert will allot your desired decision-making leverage. 

Starting with an adoption agency near you

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we encounter the fears of birth mothers on a daily basis. Each is unique in its own way, just like the resilient women who carry them. We aren’t looking to minimize your fears but allow them to dictate a plan that meets your greatest concerns. An unplanned pregnancy can be scary, but there’s a blessing to be found in the struggle. Allow us to help guide you through the confusion to a satisfying conclusion. We serve birth mothers across Missouri with respect and dignity, as your happiness is paramount to a fruitful adoption experience. Let us show you what a responsive and trusting adoption agency looks like; we’re just a click away. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Misconceptions about Missouri Birth mothers

Misconceptions about Missouri birth mothers

By Carl Roth

When weighing the possibility of giving a child up for adoption, distorted views of birth mothers become increasingly obtrusive. If you’re pregnant and considering adoption, having an unobstructed view of the adoption process is of considerable value. Your local adoption agency is familiar with all types of stigma commonly attached to an unplanned pregnancy. The more you know about Adoption in Missouri, the fewer unresolved questions and hesitations you’ll have. Birth mothers’ fears and hopes for adoption always necessitate reflection, and the fear of judgment is no exception. 

3 Common Adoption Misconceptions about Birth Mothers in Missouri

1. The Birth Mother Has No Control Over the Matching Process

The idea of not having a say in a personally impactful decision can leave anyone deeply unsettled. Choosing an adoptive family is one of the most important aspects of the adoption process for many birth mothers. Maybe you’re looking for a specific type of family or any that exudes compassion and a desire to welcome your baby. Regardless, birth mothers value the assurance of their children’s ideal placement in a loving home. We place the power of choice in the hands of the birth mother, so she decides where her child should ultimately be.

You get to evaluate prospective adoptive families and choose the family who will welcome your child. With an Adoption Choices of Missouri specialist alongside, there’s no worry if you’re not sure what to look for in an adoptive family. Because families wanting to adopt far outnumber birth mothers seeking adoption, the leverage is yours. Compassion is at the heart of adoption proceedings, and this is reflected in the connections made possible through private adoption. Whichever home you determine is ideal for your child’s growth, nobody can question the birth mother’s centrality to adoption success. 

2. People Will Judge You for Choosing Adoption

It’s not uncommon for parents to paint adoption as a negative example to their children. They would like their children to believe that adoption is somehow the result of a “mistake,” one to be actively avoided. Birth mothers especially feel the weight of exemplification, and the feeling can be burdensome if not properly addressed. These kinds of messages can make you feel like you’ve been on the wrong end of fate. However, fate doesn’t ask the opinion of those who’d judge its constituents. Your unplanned pregnancy did not occur for you to be made an example out of.

Whether you believe everything happens for a reason or not, there is indefectible good to be shared through this challenge. Birth mothers who pursue adoption are showing commendable strength in the face of adversity. An unplanned baby is just as priceless as any other. Therefore, blessing another family with yours demonstrates courage through distress. Unexpected trials can befall anyone at any time, and these challenges take many shapes and forms. Unexpectedly pregnant women who carefully think through and act on their situation with clarity and compassion exemplify remarkable maturity.

3. Your Choice to Adopt Will Define You

Many see the most difficult decisions in life as having the most bearing on one’s character. But what about your decisions’ bearing on your identity? Does a woman who chooses to place her baby for adoption become “the woman who placed her baby for adoption?” The link between choices and identity becomes much more complicated when put into context.

Choosing adoption as your unplanned pregnancy option is significant, but it doesn’t need to be who you are. Your identity consists of everything you value dearly and consider essential to understanding the puzzle that is you. Whether you deem your adoption journey as a piece of that puzzle will be completely up to you. Speaking with an Adoption Choices of Missouri birth mother counselor helps tremendously when dealing with adoption-related inner turmoil. 

Our experienced team has worked with birth mothers of all backgrounds and personalities, so they’re familiar with a spectrum of sentiments. They and our entire agency staff treat birth mothers and their concerns with the respect and dignity they deserve. Reaching out can start more clearly understanding what the adoption experience ultimately means for you. Choosing adoption doesn’t necessarily change who you are, which can be comforting to birth mothers on the fence. 

A starting point for Missouri adoption

As a potential birth mother, your well-being is a highly prioritized element of every possible adoption plan. Arranging a successful adoption journey for you and your child is our calling at Adoption Choices of Missouri. No matter where you are in your pregnancy, our resources make adoption in Missouri simpler for you. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Can I have a family after placing a baby for adoption?

Can I have a family after placing a baby for adoption?

By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa

Wanting to start a family after previously going through adoption. It isn’t a bad thing. It means you’ve decided to start anew. You want to start a family now, after not wanting to in the past. As people grow up, their past decisions don’t define them anymore. Birth mothers going through an unplanned pregnancy in the past. Doesn’t mean that’s their present. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we’ll help you overcome any guilt you may feel. About wanting to start a family after placing a baby for adoption. Wanting to start a family doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten the birth child. It means you want a change in your life. 

How is it possible to start a family after going through the adoption process?

When it comes to birth mothers wanting to start a family after going through the adoption process. Their main fears are;

  • Them being scared they’ll decide to place this new birth child up for adoption
  • Wondering how this time is different?
  • Questioning if they’re ready to start a family?
  • Wondering what will change this time

Being afraid that this time will be like the last. Is normal. Wanting to do things differently is a good thing. After going through the adoption plan, you wonder how this time will differ. This time will be different because it’s not an unplanned pregnancyand this is what you want. You’ve gone through an unplanned pregnancy before. This isn’t like that time.

Where does adoption guilt come from?

Adoption guilt comes from feeling like you’ve done something wrong. In this situation, the birth mother feels they shouldn’t have gone through the adoption process. But keeping a birth child while going through an unplanned pregnancy. It will only end negatively for the birth child. 

Guilt stems from feeling like you’ve given the birth child up. When it comes to adoption, you’re giving the birth child a better life. If you didn’t go through the adoption and decided you wanted to start a family in the future. The birth child who was an unplanned pregnancy will feel left behind.

If you’re feeling guilty about placing your birth child up for adoption. You can visit your local adoption agency and ask if you could speak to one of the counselors at their facility. 

Should I feel guilty for wanting to start a family after previously going through the adoption process?

It’s not uncommon for birth mothers to want to start a family. After they’ve placed a child up for adoption. When the birth mother was going through an unplanned pregnancy. They weren’t planning on starting a family. Now they are. 

There’s nothing to feel guilty about. Wanting to start a family after not wanting to in the past. It isn’t abnormal. It’s a common thing. However, when it comes to why birth mothers place their birth child up for adoption, it’s usually because it was an unplanned pregnancy. 

As a result, one of the birth mother’s options is adoption. Placing a child up for adoption doesn’t mean you’re Giving a child up for adoption. It means you’re giving them a chance to be with people who will care for them. 

What are some reasons to feel guilty about placing a child up for adoption?

Some reasons birth mothers may feel guilty about the adoption process are:

  • They’re thinking about what the birth child will feel/think about them
  • They‘re wondering if they did the right thing
  • They’re wondering if the adoption parent (s) will treat them well
  • Wondering if it’ll be the last time they see them?

When going through the adoption process, you might start to feel guilty. Don’t worry. If you’re pregnant and considering adoption, you can look up Adoption in Missouri, and you’ll find our agency. 

How to overcome the feeling of guilt after placing a child up for adoption?

To be at peace with placing the birth child up for adoption. Birth mothers can try:

  • Counseling 
  • Therapy 
  • Group therapy 
  • Meditating 
  • Going on trips with friends or by themselves

Will the child that’s been adopted come to know I’ve started a family?

They’ll only know if they’ve been told by someone close to them. Or the birth mother. But it also depends on the type of adoption that was chosen. In an open adoption, the birth mother could have told them. While in closed adoption or semi-closed, the adoptive parent (s) wouldn’t know. So they wouldn’t be able to share the news. 

Will the child that’s been adopted feel betrayed because I want to start a family?

Depending on the relationship the birth mother has with the birth child. Will determine this. If the birth mother has chosen to go with a closed adoption. It won’t be possible for the birth child to feel anything towards the news. But if the birth mother has chosen open adoption and hasn’t told the birth child. Then maybe the birth child will feel betrayed. In an open adoption, there’s that sense of constant communication. 

Feeling guilty about wanting to start a family after previously going through the adoption process? Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Why are people afraid of adoption?

Why are people afraid of adoption?

By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa

People who’ve never considered adoption are the reasons misconceptions about adoption exist. Those people have made adoption seem like a “way out.” That is because the birth mother has decided to place the birth child up for adoption. They’re giving a child up for adoption, so they don’t have to take on the parental responsibilities. 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we’ll help clear up those misconceptions about adoption. Adoption doesn’t have to be something to be afraid of. If you feel unsure about adoption and want to know more. You can contact us at Adoption in Missouri, and one of our adoption agents will be sure to help you. 

Reasons people are afraid of adoption?

People are afraid of adoption because they don’t understand it. If you’ve never been in a situation where adoption was an option. You wouldn’t know anything about the topic. Other than looking for information online, adoption isn’t a talked-about topic. 

When people go through an unplanned pregnancy, their first thought isn’t adoption. Adoption comes into the conversation once people start stating their options. Some reasons people are afraid of adoption are:

  • They think is the birth mother giving up the birth child
  • They don’t want the birth child to come to dislike them
  • They don’t want to feel guilty for placing their child up for adoption
  • Unless they choose an open adoption, they won’t get updates on the birth child

Why do birth mothers choose adoption?

Adoption is a life-changing decision that is made with reason. There are many reasons why people go through adoption. None of them should be a reason for concern. Some of those reasons are:

  • The birth mother is going through an unplanned pregnancy
  • The birth mother can’t afford to raise a child
  • The birth mother isn’t ready to take on parental responsibilities or doesn’t want to
  • The birth mother doesn’t want kids 

If you’re going through an unplanned pregnancy and are considering adoption. You’re going to need to go through with the adoption process. If you want to go through the adoption process, this shouldn’t be something to be afraid of. There are steps in place to help you. 

Some misconceptions about adoption?

Misconceptions are opinions based on not understanding something. For example, adoption. Not many people understand it because they don’t see themselves doing it. So they make up misconceptions. Some of them are;

  • The birth mother is giving up the birth child
  • Adoption is expensive
  • Once the birth child has been adopted, the birth mother can change their mind
  • The adoptive parent (s) shouldn’t tell the adopted child that they’ve been adopted

Will I be able to see my child after they’ve been adopted?

Depending on what type of adoption you choose from. You’ll be able to regularly visit the birth child. If seeing the birth child and forming a bond is something you’d like. Then open adoption is the right choice for you. In an open adoption, with the adoptive parent (s) permission. The birth mother will be able to communicate with the birth child. 

If you’re looking for more information about what you can and can’t do during the adoption process. You can visit your local adoption agency.

Will I be able to choose the adoptive parent (s)?

During the adoption process, you’ll be able to pick and choose the adoptive family of choice. We’ll help you find the right pick if you’d like anything specific. At our agency, we have young, older, single, hetero, and same-sex families, as you’re looking for adoptive parent (s). You could also decide where you’d like the birth child to live. 

Need help deciding which adoptive family to choose from? Don’t worry. At Adoption in Missouri, we’ll handle all your concerns. If you’d like, one of our adoption agents can take over finding the adoptive family for you.

Will there be counseling for the birth mother after the birth child has been adopted?

There is counseling for birth mothers during the adoption process and after. Some birth mothers go to counseling because they feel guilty. They feel like the birth child will grow to dislike them for placing them up for adoption. The birth mother doesn’t want to live with regrets, so they sit down and talk it out with someone. 

If you’re pregnant and considering adoption and would like to see a counselor. We can help you. Our agency has counselors on call ready to help when you’re ready.

What emotions do birth mothers go through once they’ve placed their child up for adoption?

After the adoption process has finished and the required time has come and gone. Some main emotions birth mothers may feel are guilt and regret. Some birth mothers feel guilty because they think about what the birth child will think of them. They wonder how the birth child will feel about being placed up for adoption. The birth mother will wonder if the birth child thinks the birth mother was giving a child up for adoption because they weren’t wanted. Regret comes when the birth mother is going through counseling, and the counselor asks, “how are they doing?” The birth mother will wonder if they shouldn’t have gone through the adoption process at all. While the counselor will tell the birth mother that if they hadn’t gone through the adoption process. The birth child will grow up neglected since the birth child was an unplanned pregnancy.

Thinking of placing your birth child up for adoption but are afraid of the adoption process? Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 816-527-9800