Birth Mother Blog

Top 5 Myths about Birth Mothers in Missouri

Top 5 Myths about Birth Mothers 

Being a birth mother brings up certain perceptions that people may have of you. Perhaps you’ve run across some of them in your research about adoption or heard something a friend, family member or stranger has said that paints a negative image of who you are.

Here are 5 common myths about birth mothers that you may experience when sharing your own personal adoption journey.

Myths about Birth Mothers

  1. Birth Mothers don’t Love Their Children

As a birth mother, you have made the hard decision of going through with the adoption process. But you are choosing this because you don’t love your child. Just the opposite. You are choosing to place your child for adoption because you love your child more than anything in the world and want what’s best for him or her — even if that means you won’t be the one raising them. Choosing adoption is a selfless and courageous expression of you putting your child’s needs above your own, and ensuring that  they receive the love and care they deserve. 

  1. Birth Mothers don’t Want to be Parents

Parenthood is not for everyone. There is no shame in choosing adoption if you don’t feel like you want to be a parent. Or maybe you do, but the timing is right. If you are considering adoption because of the latter, or because you don’t have a strong support system and don’t want to raise your child alone — adoption is always an option. 

However, just because this unplanned pregnancy was not in your life plan does not mean you are not a parent or never will be. You will always be your child’s birth mother, no matter if you choose adoption or not. Being a parent is a lifelong commitment that takes careful planning and support. Not having these factors can make parenthood more challenging as a birth mother. 

  1. All Birth Mothers Struggle with Health Issues and Addictions

While many birth mothers may struggle with health issues and addictions, it is unfair to categorize all birth mothers this way.  Physical, mental, emotional or financial struggles can point birth mothers towards adoption because they want what’s best for their child. She understands that she is not in a place where she can give her child the life they deserve. 

But just because you may struggle with a health-related issue or addiction or some kind doesn’t mean that you don’t want your child or are incapable of raising him or her.  If you are a disabled birth mother, there is always support available to you. Having a disability or mental health issue does not decide if you want your child or your capabilities as a parent. Only you can make that choice and decide what is best for you and your baby. 

  1. Birth Mothers won’t Visit Their Child

This is not true. Many birth mothers want to visit their child. To be involved and want him or her to grow into the independent adult they are meant to be. 

As a birth mother, you can choose how open you want your adoption to be. How much contact you want with your child and their adoptive family, and if you want to visit your child after the adoption has been finalized. There are different stages of closeness that you can have with your child. Establishing a relationship with your child can be an unbroken bond. 

  1. Birth Mothers Regret Their Decision

Choosing to place your child for adoption is an extremely emotional and complex decision to make. However, this myth about birth mothers saying that you will regret your decision is unfair and disrespectful to you. By the time you walk into an adoption agency, you have given your choice a lot of thought and have come to terms with what it means for you and your child. 

So, while you may feel grief and loss, it’s unlikely you will experience regret. As a birth mother, you have decided to give your baby a chance at a better life. This is not easy, by any means, but Adoption Choices of Missouri has adoption counselors who are there to support, encourage and empower you before, during and after your adoption journey. 

Myths about Birth Mothers

Our adoption agency in Missouri accepts birth mothers from all walks of life. We do not think anything negative of your decision, and we will never judge you. We value you as a birth mother and will dismiss anyone who says anything different.

These common misconceptions of birth mothers are just ways for people to tell your story the way they want. Being a birth mother means that you are the only one who gets to know the pages of your personal adoption journey, whatever your story may be. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Can I Place My Baby for Adoption with the Same Adoption Agency I used Before? Tips for Birth Mothers who are Experiencing a Second Unplanned Pregnancy 

Can I Place My Baby for Adoption with the Same Adoption Agency I used Before?

Tips for Birth Mothers who are Experiencing a Second Unplanned Pregnancy 

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy for the second time can have you feeling overwhelmed. In fact, it may seem like you are on an emotional roller coaster — especially if you’ve just recently placed your first baby for adoption and your circumstances haven’t changed. That’s okay and completely understandable. Choosing adoption once is hard enough, so being faced with it again so soon doesn’t help.

You may be wondering: I’m pregnant again. Can I place my baby for adoption with the same adoption agency I used before? Will I be judged for getting pregnant again so soon? I can’t be a mother right now. What do I do?

Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to let you know that no matter if this is your first or fourth unplanned pregnancy, you can absolutely place your baby for adoption with us. Our licensed adoption agency is a non-judgemental facility. We welcome multiple placements and will not turn you away. No matter what your circumstances, we will provide you with the kindness, care and support you deserve as a birth mother. 

Placing Your Baby with the Same Adoption Agency

To begin, we want to set your mind at ease. Multiple placements are more common than you think, so there’s no need to worry about that part of it. You will be treated with just as much respect, compassion and support as you did any other time you worked with us. That will not change. So, you should feel right at home. After all, you’ve walked with us before and have established a relationship with us. You know what to expect and were confident that you provided your child a chance at a better life.

If you choose to place another baby with our adoption agency, you know that Adoption Choices of Missouri will guide you through every step of your adoption journey and ensure that your experience will be just as empowering and positive as last time. You can even work with the same adoption caseworker, if you’d like.

Going Through the Adoption Process Again

Placing a second child for adoption may seem like a tough choice. However, it may be a little less stressful as you have gone through this process before. You can decide to do things similarly, or you can try something different. It’s completely up to you. 

Although you might know what to expect, that does not take away from feeling a whirlwind of emotions.This time around, you may experience different things than you did the first time, such as feelings of guilt, uncertainty or increased anxiety. As a birth mother, these feelings are perfectly natural. You can even speak with a birth parent counselor or join a support group to help process and work through these feelings throughout your adoption journey.

Placing Your Child with Your First Child’s Adoptive Family 

If you have a strong connection with your first child’s adoptive family, you can ask your adoption caseworker if it’s possible to place your second child with them. This way, your children can grow up and bond with their biological siblings. As an agency, we do everything we can to give your children a chance to grow up together. However, it’s important to remember that it’s up to your first child’s adoptive parents if they are able or willing to adopt a second child.

In some cases, adoptive parents are more than happy to welcome a sibling into the family, which can give you great comfort and reassurance as a birth mother. If the adoptive parents are unable to do this, though, it may be for a variety of different reasons. But don’t worry. Your adoption caseworker will do what they can to ensure that your children are able to remain in contact and establish a relationship with each other, even from two different adoptive families.

Can I Place My Baby through the Same Adoption Agency?

Second time adoption may come with a lot of anxiety as you are placing another one of your children for adoption. However, going through the adoption process a second time, you may have a more detailed adoption plan than you had previously and a better idea of how the process works. You may also choose to do things differently this time, too, if you want other kinds of opportunities for your second child. 

But no matter if you are a second time birth mother or fourth, you will get the understanding and comfort you need. Our licensed adoption professionals will hear your concerns throughout your adoption journey. No matter how many times you travel down the road of adoption as a birth mother, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you and will make sure that your child gets the loving home that he or she deserves. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

7  Ways for Birth Mothers to Celebrate National Adoption Month 

7  Ways for Birth Mothers to Celebrate National Adoption Month

National Adoption Month, which takes place during the month of November, is an important time to celebrate birth mothers, adoptees, adoptive parents and adoption as a whole. If you are a birth mother considering adoption for your child, the month of November provides you with the amazing opportunity of learning all things adoption. In doing so, you can ease your stress, worries and anxieties of what the adoption process entails and what to expect as you begin your own adoption journey.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we support and care for birth mothers. We want you to know  that you are valued and respected, and that we celebrate you. Choosing to place your child for adoption is not an easy decision, but it is part of what makes National Adoption Month so special. Without you wanting what’s best for your child, adoption wouldn’t exist. For this reason, we want to take a moment and provide you with seven ways that you, as a birth mother, can celebrate National Adoption Month.

Ways for Birth Mothers to Celebrate National Adoption Month

1. One-on-One Time with Your Child

Depending on your adoption plan, you may want to spend one-on-one time with your child during this month. This could include doing creative activities like painting together or visiting a fun center. Spending quality time with your child will help strengthen the bond between you both.

2. Attending an Adoption-related Event

As a birth mother, you may want to celebrate National Adoption Month by going on a special birth mother retreat with your child and his or her adoptive family, or  attend an adoption-themed event with them. This type of celebration gives you a chance to establish a closer relationship with your child and their family while learning more about adoption and having fun.

3. Private Birth Mother Reflection

National Adoption Month may be a bittersweet month for you to celebrate. You may feel overwhelmed by so many emotions and just want to celebrate alone for a day. This is perfectly natural and okay for you to do. You can look through photos, or make a book filled with advice for your child as they grow up. You could also go for a walk, write in your private journey, or do something else that helps you reflect and process what you’re feeling.

4. Create a Memory Album

Another way you can celebrate National Adoption Month is by creating a photo/memory album. Using the images you have before and after your child’s birth, you can organize it so that it tells your child’s adoption story. When they are older, or start asking questions about where they came from, you can present this memory album to them or present it as a gift. This is also a great way to store your child’s important life moments and milestones.

5. Write a Thank you Note to Your Child’s Adoptive Parents

Whether you are in the process of placing your child, or you have placed your child already, you can write a note to your child’s adoptive parents expressing your gratitude. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or long, but a handwritten note can be a treasured gift, especially in this age of technology. Writing a thank you note to your child’s adoptive parents is a great way to show them how much you care and appreciate them raising your child.

6. Share Your Adoption Story

Throughout the month of November, you may notice many adoptees, birth mothers and adoptive parents sharing their experiences about adoption via online platforms, such as Facebook. There also may be designated sharers at adoption-related events. If you feel comfortable doing so, you could celebrate National Adoption Month by doing something similar. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to connect with other birth mothers and help them with their adoption journeys. To provide support, comfort and guidance. To give them more insight into adoption, especially if they are wanting to place their baby for adoption. National Adoption Month is an excellent time to do that.

7. Read an Adoption-themed Book

Reading an adoption-themed book is another great way to help you learn about adoption and the benefits it can have on your life — and that of your child’s. There are many good resources available — nonfiction and fiction — that can give you a glimpse of the expectations, challenges and overall impact the adoption journey can have. Be sure to check out your library or local bookstore to see what you can find. Ask the librarian or sales clerk to help you search if you aren’t able to locate anything right away.

Birth Mother Advice for National Adoption Month

There are many ways for birth mothers to celebrate National Adoption Month. The options above are non-exhaustive, yet we hope that they provide you with a good starting point.

As a birth mother, you are instrumental to the adoption journey. If you are considering adoption for your child, National Adoption Month is a great time to learn about the adoption process and adoption as a whole. Know that you can always reach out to our adoption agency in Missouri if you have questions or concerns about what the adoption process looks like and what you can expect when you begin your own adoption journey. We want to make sure that you have all the information you need to know, so that you have the most positive experience possible. We are so grateful for your loving and courageous choice and want to celebrate you and give back in any way we can.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Placing Your Baby for Adoption in the Hospital: Last Minute Adoptions 

Placing Your Baby for Adoption in the Hospital: Last Minute Adoptions 

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can lead to a whirlwind of emotions. You know you’re not ready to raise a child in any sense of the word. Maybe you didn’t see yourself having a child at your current stage in life — or at all. That is okay! Whatever your circumstances, it’s never too late to choose adoption. Last minute adoptions are more common than you think, and there’s no shame in doing what you think is best for you and your child.

So, as you sit in your hospital bed and hold your baby, don’t worry. Adoption Choices of Missouri is just a call away, and we can get an adoption caseworker to your hospital quickly. Our adoption agency is here to help you every step of the way through your adoption journey. 

Adoption in the Hospital

You’re in hospital and just delivered your baby. Looking down at your child, you realize that you are not ready to be a parent. At the start of your pregnancy, you felt like you could handle it and had enough time to prepare, but now that your baby is here, reality has set in. At this time in your life, you know that you are unable to provide the love, care and support that your child deserves.  So, you choose the next best thing for him or her and decide to place your baby for adoption.

You request to speak with a medical professional who can provide you with the resources that you need, and the phone number to our local adoption center in Missouri. Within moments, you are connected with a Birth Parent Counselor, who then lets you know that an adoption caseworker is on their way. You are assured that you are good hands. Despite the raging emotions, you begin to feel like everything will be ok.

What Adoption in the Hospital will Look Like 

When the adoption caseworker arrives, they walk you through your options, and the steps necessary to placing your baby with a loving adoptive family. These will include, but are not limited to:

  1. Deciding what type of adoption you want 
  2. Creating your chosen adoption plan
  3. Selecting your child’s adoptive family
  4. Communicating with the potential adoptive parents
  5. Creating a post adoption plan
  6. Signing all necessary paperwork, such as all medical and adoption forms that you will need to finalize your adoption. 

Just because you’re choosing adoption in the hospital last minute doesn’t mean that you will experience the adoption process any differently. Your process may just be sped up a bit. But your adoption caseworker will make sure that everything is processed quickly and efficiently, and answer any questions you have along the way.

Last Minute Adoptions for Birth Mothers 

Placing your baby for adoption last minute can feel impossible and overwhelming, but it is always an option. Whether you are in labor or holding your baby post delivery,iIt’s never too late to choose adoption for you and your baby. Our adoption professionals are here to help provide you with the comfort and care that you deserve as a birth mother. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

8 Different Types Birth Mothers: What You Should Know as a Birth Mother  

8 Different Types Birth MothersWhat You Should Know as a Birth Mother  

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy as a birth mother can be an overwhelming experience. Whether you be a young teen mom or a second-time mother, it can still be challenging. However, no matter what stage you’re at in your life, you don’t need to feel ashamed, guilty or alone in your choices. Life often throws us unavoidable circumstances beyond our control. 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to support you. We work with birth mothers from all walks of life and will not turn you away. Choosing to place your baby for adoption is an amazing adoption, and we will be here to help you in any way we can every step of the way. 

Different Types of Birth Mothers:

  1. Married – Perhaps you are married to your partner or spouse and living happily together. Yet, just because you are married does not mean you can’t choose adoption for your child. Whether it’s that you and your partner or spouse are not financially stable, already parenting children or just don’t see yourselves having children at all, adoption is still an option for you and your child. 

 

  1. Single – Going through a pregnancy alone can be stressful, especially if you have no support, but you are never alone finding the right support system. Through our adoption agency, you will have your adoption caseworker and other professionals to help you navigate your adoption journey. You can also reach to trusted friends and family members to be there for you in the good times and bad. From pregnancy to post placement, you will have the guidance and support you need by your side every step of the way. 

 

  1. Addicted – Struggling with an addiction can be a hard habit to break. This can cause you to feel nervous, lonely or scared. Throw in an unexpected  pregnancy into the mix, and this could leave you feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Yet, adoption is still an option for you. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you find safe, temporary housing for your pregnancy and assist with court-approved birth mother expenses. 

 

  1. Military – As a military birth mother, you might be on active duty overseas or on leave. But, wherever you are stationed, if you are unable to raise and support a child while serving your country, you can still choose adoption for you and your baby. You will receive the support and care that you need, even as a military birth mother.

 

  1. Teen – Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy in your teens can turn your world inside out. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion, sacred and worried. Perhaps you don’t have anyone you can turn to or have the support of your parents or friends. Adoption is still an option for you. With the constant support from our adoption professionals and counselors, you will have all the encouragement and comfort you need to have a positive and empowering adoption journey. 

 

  1. Professional – As a career-driven birth mother, you may not have the time or mindset needed to focus on being a mother at this time. This is okay! You can make the decision to place your baby for adoption. You can still reach your career goals, establish a relationship with your child through an open adoption plan and feel accomplished in your life goals all at the same time. 

 

  1. Incarcerated – If you are facing jail time, or are already serving your sentence, an unplanned pregnancy can throw a wrench into things. You know that you are unable to raise your child and give him or her the life they deserve while you are imprisoned. You also don’t want them going into the foster care system. As a birth mother, you want to know that they have found a stable and loving family, who will give them their best chance at life. With this in mind, you can choose adoption. 

 

  1. Survivor of Sexual Assault/Rape – If you have been the victim or sexual assault, rape or another form of abuse and become unexpectedly pregnant through it, deciding what to do can feel overwhelming. You may feel shame and guilt, but this is completely natural. You’ve been through a traumatic experience, and you’re not alone. If you don’t feel ready to raise your child, or don’t want to parent at all, our Birth Parent Counselors are here to help get you through the tough moments. We will walk alongside you down the adoption road to a place of healing, acceptance and an abundance of love.

Advice for You as a Birth Mother 

No matter what category you fall into, at Adoption Choices of Missouri, we will never turn you away. We work with all different types of birth mothers and feel blessed by each and every one. When you place your baby for adoption through our agency, you will have constant care, support and guidance throughout your adoption journey. From start to finish, you will never feel alone! We will ensure that you have the most positive and empowering adoption journey possible. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Give Up My Baby for Adoption vs. Place My Baby For Adoption: The Importance of Positive Adoption Language for Birth Mothers 

Give Up My Baby for Adoption vs. Place My Baby For Adoption:  

The Importance of Positive Adoption Language for Birth Mothers 

If you are a birth mother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and are researching adoption for your child, you may have come across the terms “give up my baby for adoption” and “place my baby for adoption.” Both of these terms are commonly used in the adoption industry and are often used interchangeably. However, these individual phrases relay two very different messages about adoption and the choice you are making — one positive and the other negative.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we believe that you should never feel shameful or guilty for placing your child for adoption. That you should never feel as though you need to hide your decision or fear judgment because you aren’t able to raise your child yourself. Adoption is a beautiful option. It provides your child with their best chance at life and helps the dreams of their adoptive parents come true. 

We believe that adoption, as a whole, is a positive thing and the language surrounding it should be just as positive. That’s why we are here to help you understand the difference between the phrases “give up my baby” and “place my baby,” so that you can feel empowered when you choose adoption for your child.

Give Up My Baby for Adoption

Immediately, this term evokes a very negative connotation. It creates the feeling that you’ve failed at something. That you are not good enough. That you are “giving up.” But, that’s not true at all! When you choose adoption, you are not giving up. Quite the opposite. You are putting your child’s needs before your own. You are admitting that you are not in a place where you can raise your child, or give him or her the life they deserve. There is nothing easy about the adoption process, but loving your child enough to give them their best chance at life is definitely not giving up.

This phrase originated back in the early days of adoption, when birth mothers didn’t have control over the adoption process. When their babies were handed over to an adoptive family and she never got to learn what happened. But those days are long gone! You are now able to customize your adoption journey and be in full control every step of the way.

Place My Baby for Adoption

Right away, this phrase creates a sense of ease. Empowerment. You feel like you are in control and have willingly chosen to provide your child with the life he or she deserves. This is exactly how you should feel! There is absolutely nothing shameful about placing your baby with a loving adoptive family. 

That’s why our goal is to have this phrase become the everyday term you hear in the adoption industry. It proclaims that you are a brave birth mother, making a selfless and loving decision for your child’s future. That you are enough. That you are valued and believe your child is too.

Positive Adoption Language for Birth Mothers

The words, terms and phrases we use can greatly influence how we view something. They can also have an impact on how we feel about ourselves. Having positive adoption language for birth mothers when it comes to choosing adoption can make all the difference.

Now that you know the difference between the phrases “give up my baby for adoption” and “place my baby for adoption,” what are your thoughts? Which one do you like better? Don’t hesitate to leave us a comment or get in touch with one of our adoption specialists.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

5 Things to Know about an Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents 

5 Things to Know about an Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents 

Choosing your child’s adoptive family may not be a simple task as you browse through potential parents for your child. But, as you do so, remember you are not alone. Remember that your adoption caseworker is there to help guide you. To help you determine what you are looking for in your adoption journey, and who might be the best fit.

The adoptive family profiles that your adoption caseworker provides are those she feels suits what you have outlined for the type of family you want your child to have. As you’re looking through the prospective adoptive parent profiles and narrow down your options, keep this in mind. Remember to breathe. Everything will be ok. Ask yourself: I’m open to a having lesbian adoptive parents raise my child, but what would that look like? Would they agree to an open adoption? Will my child have a good life with them?

What Your Child will Gain with Lesbian Adoptive Parents

  1. Embracing Diversity and Openness

The LGBT community embraces diversity, no matter what your culture or religious beliefs may be. So, with lesbian adoptive parents, your child will learn how to be accepting of everyone, no matter what. He or she will be taught that individuality is something to be celebrated, not judged or discriminated against. This will help your child have a stronger and more healthy sense of self as they grow up as well. 

Your child will be encouraged to ask questions and maintain an open line of communication with their adoptive parents, strengthening the bond they all have together and build a foundation of trust. Being honest and transparent is one of the many keys to success — especially with open adoption. 

  1. Combating Challenges

As your child develops, there is a risk that he or she may endure challenges, as well as mental or emotional issues. These struggles can stem from various things, but your child’s lesbian adoptive parents will be there to support and comfort him or her through it. Because of the similar challenges both adoptive mothers faced in their own lifetimes — separate and together — they will have a wealth of knowledge and tools to pass on to your child. 

For example, if your child experienced an act of judgment or bullying at school, he or she will learn how to healthfully stand up for themselves and learn that who they are is enough. This will help your child learn to believe in themselves and gain confidence 

  1. Communication and Trust

As aforementioned, communication and trust are two of the secrets to success with any adoption, but especially one where there is an open adoption agreement. As a birth mother, having your child raised by lesbian adoptive parents may be a new idea for her, and you may not understand at first how this type of family unit operates. This is where communication and trust come in.

As soon as you select your child’s adoptive parents, talk with them. Set up a time to meet, whether that’s virtually or in person. Get to know them. This will all give you a glimpse of the life that your child will have. It will also help you establish trust with them and affirm that you’ve made the right choice.  

  1. Promote a Sense of Identity

Identity is as crucial to an adoptee as it is their adoptive parents. Within an open adoption with lesbian adoptive parents, your child will never lack in learning the importance of who they are and instilling a strong sense of self. Helping your child grow with this knowledge will help shape him or her into a confident, independent, and happy adult. This, in turn, can lead to courage when faced with tough life choices further down the road. 

  1. Nurturing Kindness

Lesbian adoptive parents will raise your child with open arms and will nurture them to be kind and compassionate to others. Learning this at a young age will impact your child in a positive way, and teach them to see the world with a wider perspective. 

This goes hand-in-hand with having them develop into more loving and accepting human beings overall. 

Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we support open adoptions with you the birth mother and the chosen adoption family. We believe in openness and transparency throughout your adoption process. Our agency is here to offer support and care that you as adoptive parents need during this life-changing process. We will ensure that your child is happy and is loved by becoming a part of your family.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Counseling and Emotional Support for Birth Mothers in Missouri

Counseling and Emotional Support for Birth Mothers in Missouri

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be such an overwhelming time for you. You may feel like you are doing this alone, your circumstances may not fit with being a parent to your child right now. Whether you are pregnant and struggling in life, well into your career, or a second-time expectant mother — remember you are not alone!

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and fully support you throughout your adoption process. We provide free services — including counseling and emotional support for birth mothers in Missouri — to ensure that you have a safe, happy, and positive experience with us. In fact, our experienced adoption counselors can offer you a confidential and private place for you to process your thoughts and feelings about your unexpected pregnancy and the adoption process.

As a birth mother, you have chosen the difficult but wonderful decision of adoption. We understand that you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster right now. But you’re in good hands. Here are three amazing resources to help ease your anxiety and bring you comfort as you place your baby for adoption. 

Counseling and Emotional Support for Birth Mothers 

1.One on One – At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we offer one-on-one private and personalized counseling sessions. You get to meet with us and discuss your questions or concerns with one of our licensed Birth Parent Counselors. If you are unsure of what to do about your unplanned pregnancy, the counselor will lead you through your three options: parenting, termination, or placing your baby for adoption. Once you decide that adoption is the best option for both you and your baby, you will be assigned an adoption caseworker who will assist you every step of the way in your adoption journey. 

2. Support Groups – Finding emotional support will help you feel less alone and help calm your anxiety. Support groups are a great way to do this — especially those created just for birth mothers. You will get to meet other women going through a similar experience — whether they are just getting started in the adoption process, somewhere in the middle, or have already placed their baby up for adoption. This can help you feel an overwhelming sense of support, comfort, and encouragement as you can relate to the women around you and know that you are completely understood. 

3. Birth Mother Retreats Along the same lines, birth mother retreats allow you to share your unique adoption stories and understand your feelings about your own personal adoption story over a weekend or longer period of time. These retreats will help you create lifelong bonds with other birth mothers and establish an inner cycle of comfort, encouragement, and support over the one life-changing decision you have in common — the unselfish sacrifice to give your child a home he or she deserves. 

Questions to Ask During a Counseling Session as a Birth Mother

As a birth mother going through the adoption process, you may have some questions or concerns that need to be answered. For instance, here are three questions that we hear from many of our birth mothers: 

  1. What will my child think of me? As your child grows up, he or she will come to understand why you placed them up for adoption. Why you chose this decision. If you choose an open or semi-open adoption agreement with your child’s adoptive parents, you will be able to tell your son or daughter that it was because you wanted to give them a better life. That you did this out of love. 
  2. Will I regret my decision? This is an understandable fear that many birth mothers have. As you journey through the adoption process, you will feel the full range of emotions — both positive and negative. One of the negative emotions you feel may include regret. However, know that this is natural and part of the grieving process. It’s ok to feel and process. Adoption, as great as it is, isn’t easy. But, remember, you can always speak with your counselor about any and all emotions you experience.
  3. How do I handle questions about my child’s adoption? You can choose to explain the reasons behind your child’s adoption in any way you want. There are countless ways to answer questions from friends and family, and you shouldn’t feel shame about answering them. At the same time, if there is a question that you feel uncomfortable answering, you are not obligated to. After all, this is your adoption journey and you don’t need to defend your reason for why you chose adoption for your child.

Counseling and Emotional Support as a Birth Mother in Missouri

Placing your baby for adoption is an incredibly selfless and brave choice. It’s going to also involve many emotions that you may need help processing. This is perfectly natural! That’s where having that counseling and emotional support as a birth mother comes in handy.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to provide you with the care that you and your baby need. We will support and guide you through this difficult but rewarding decision in your life. Remember, you are not alone! You and your baby’s wellbeing is our top priority, and it’s never too late to receive the emotional support that you need as a birth mother.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Choosing an Adoption Agency that is Right for You as a Birth Mother in Missouri

Choosing an Adoption Agency that is Right for You as a Birth Mother in Missouri 

After going back and forth, and looking at all your options from every angle, you’ve decided that placing your baby for adoption is the best path to take. Now begins the challenge of mapping out your adoption journey, and determining what kind of life you want your child to live. It’s a big decision. There are many factors to consider. One of the very first aspects is selecting an adoption agency to work with.

Choosing an adoption agency that is right for you takes time. Depending on where you live, there may be multiple adoption centers near you or within a reasonable driving distance. It’s important to do as much research as you can, and write down a list of questions and requirements you have for your adoption journey. 

Things to Look for when Choosing an Adoption Agency

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we want you to feel confident about the adoption agency you choose. Here are several valuable steps to help you narrow down your options.

  1. Conduct Thorough Research

Research the domestic adoption agencies in your area and talk to different birth parent professionals. Find an agency that you feel will best assist you and your baby in the adoption process. Make sure you feel comfortable with the adoption agency and research their online information. Whether or not an agency has a professional-looking website can say a lot about who you could be working with.

Our adoption center in Missouri offers detailed blogs and resources that outline who we are, who we work with and a glimpse into the journey you will have with us. From the moment you begin your adoption journey with us, through birth and delivery to after the adoption is finalized, you will be assigned an adoption caseworker who will be there to answer your questions, address your concerns and discuss your options to help make this decision easier for you. We also have Birth Parent Counselors available for you to receive emotional support, comfort and encouragement whenever you need it.

  1. Ask Lots of Questions 

Never be afraid to ask questions of your adoption caseworker. There is no such thing as a stupid or irrelevant concern when it comes to you and your baby. Your adoption agency should have your best interests at heart at all times, and want to support and encourage you any way they can.

Your health and safety — and that of your baby — is our top priority at our agency. We want to make sure that we provide you with the most positive, empowering and comforting experience possible. 

  1. Select your Adoption Agency 

Choosing your adoption agency can be a difficult process. However, making a list of pros and cons can help make this decision easier for you and help you eliminate which agencies you feel do not fit what you’re looking for. 

At our agency, we will help you through every step of the adoption process. Our goal is that you feel comfortable, and have all the support you need and deserve.

Choosing an Adoption Agency that is Right for You

At Adoption Choices of Missouri ,we are here to assist you in every aspect of the adoption process. Choosing our agency means you, as a birth mother, will be taken care of. After your adoption has been finalized, we will make sure you get any additional assistance you need. Whether that is through counseling or finding a support group in your area, we want you to have all the resources available for you to healthfully grieve and move forward after finalization. We honor and celebrate the choice you made to place your baby for adoption, and we want you to know how valued you are as a birth mother.

It doesn’t matter where you’re at in life, or what personal circumstance you’re in. We are here to help you in any way we can. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Can I Choose Adoption if I’m in the Military? 

Can I Choose Adoption if I’m in the Military

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and being a mom in the military can definitely make you feel overwhelmed. You may be busy on a tour and not in a position to care for your child, or give your child the life he or she deserves. You might wonder if adoption is still an option for you. 

Absolutely! Adoption is available to you and your baby whether you find yourself leaving for active duty or traveling overseas. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to help. 

Steps to Take as a Birth Mother in the Military

  1. Choose an Adoption Agency

Being on duty as a birth mother in the military can be hard, but choosing an adoption agency should not be. If you are overseas or stationed to leave, you can still contact Adoption Choices of Missouri and talk to a birth parent professional who will assist you in the adoption process. 

  1. Create an Adoption Plan

Being a military mom means things can move quickly.When you have finally decided on adoption, an adoption professional who will help you create an adoption plan that is right for you and your baby. Wherever you are stationed U.S. or overseas, you will be able to discuss your adoption plan choices and decide which adoption plan is right for you and your child.  There are 3 different plans that you can choose from — open, semi-open and closed.

  1. Pick the Adoptive Family

Choosing your child’s adoptive family is no different if you’re stationed overseas or on active duty. You will be allowed to look through family profiles and still be able to pick the right family who fits your personal preferences — from LGBT or single parents, to transracial parents or another military family. Once you pick your child’s adoptive parents, you can start communicating with them through video calls, phone calls, emails, text messages or any other communication method available to you. 

Your Hospital Stay as a Military Birth Mother 

As a military birth mother, you may have to travel back to the U.S. to deliver your baby. Be sure to speak with your military supervisor so that you and your baby can receive the best accommodations when the time comes 

During your hospital stay, you will have the option to spend as much time alone with your baby as you wish. You can also spend time with your child’s adoptive parents, getting to know them more as well. If you’d like to have pictures taken of yourself and your baby, or a group picture with your child’s adoptive parents, let your caseworker or a nurse know, and they can do that for you.

Your time in the hospital is entirely up to you. Even if you’d laid out your adoption plan before, you can always change your mind the day of. This is your time to say goodbye and do everything you need to do in order to return to duty with no regrets.

Choosing Adoption as a Woman in the Military

Whether you choose adoption early on in your pregnancy or towards the end, you will have all the guidance and support that you need throughout your adoption process. Remember, everything that happens is up to you and that, from the moment you place your baby for adoption with our agency, we will be there to walk with you every step of the way.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri  our Birth Parent Counselors will give you the respect and care that both you and your baby deserve. Our team will ensure that you have a successful adoption, and that your child is happy and healthy with his or her adoptive family.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

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