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Single Parent Adoption Success Story

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

For the month of July, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be focusing on adoption stories. This week, we will be discussing single parent adoption success and what that means. Until recently, single parent adoption was quite uncommon and has been framed in negativity in the past. Our society has held to the stereotype that a child needs two parents. However, single women and men have shown in recent decades that they are just as successful to be parents. 

It is important to note that no one is perfect and everyone has a different definition of “success.” Being a single parent of an adopted child is a unique experience that is both rewarding and challenging. Having a strong support system as a single parent is essential and can help with one’s adoption journey. What does single parent adoption success look like? What does one need to consider before adopting as a single parent? Let’s find out. 

Why Single Parents Want to Adopt

Single parents, like married couples, desire to adopt a child and have a family. He or she is prepared to take on the role of parenthood, and nurture and love a child in a secure, healthy environment. A single parent can provide for a child physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.  Studies have proven that a single parent is often more emotionally and financially stable, and can give their child a fulfilling life. 

What to Acknowledge before Single Parent Adoption 

A successful single parent hasn’t taken the choice to adopt lightly. They’ve carefully thought through this life-changing decision. This is extremely vital to the process, and an adoption professional will want to know that you are being honest with yourself. That you fully understand the commitment of raising a child. For instance, knowing how to deal with the challenges from societal perspectives and pressures of being a single parent. 

It can be helpful for both you to learn the experiences of other single parents, and ensure that you have a support system around you in the good times and bad. You should remember that you do not have to go through any of your adoption journey alone. Achieving single parent adoption success comes with help from others who value your child’s life and your well-being. It is also important to reflect before becoming a single parent of an adoptee and realize that everything you do for your child is in his or her best interest.

Growing and being Successful as a Single Adoptive Parent

To thrive as a single adoptive parent, remember to take care of yourself. Self-care is beneficial for yourself and will help you maintain a balanced mindset to provide the best life for your child. This will carry through the more challenging moments where you feel overwhelmed and doubtful. Surround yourself with people who are not judgmental, but who encourage and inspire you. Who spark your confidence and sense of independence. These two positive characteristics can, in turn, teach your child and help them establish a strong sense of self. 

Take one thing at a time. Know that you can and will get over hurdles that adoptive parenthood presents. Stay motivated. Rely on your trustworthy support system and remember that the environment you create as a single parent will stay with your child forever. So, make sure your home is happy, healthy, safe and promotes success.

Furthermore, know that your role as a single adoptive parent does not end once your child is grown up. Your responsibilities may change and manifest in different ways, but you are still a parent and the same person who decided to start a family.

Single Adoptive Parents 

Single parent adoption success shows that single parents can provide stability for their child, and that the child can have the best life possible — as much as he or she would in a two-parent family. Adoption Choices of Missouri celebrates single adoptive parents and believes that they deserve the chance to raise families. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

Sources:

https://www.adoptionstogether.org/adopting/single-parent-adoption/ 

https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/single-parenting/surviving-and-thriving-as-a-single-mom/ 

 

Birth Father Blog

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

Types of Birth Fathers – Known vs. Unknown

By Melissa Benedek

There may be many things that come to mind when you think of a birth father. You might think of a birth father as the father of a child who he is not aware of or present in the child’s life. You might think of a birth father as someone who is not married to a birth mother. There are many assumptions one can make, whether correct or incorrect, about who a birth father is. Yet, many beliefs are founded upon stereotypes that are negative and portray all birth fathers as absent, careless and lazy. 

There is not much accurate information available about birth fathers in general. However, Adoption Choices of Missouri believes it is important to recognize that birth fathers are as important as birth mothers in the adoption process. A birth father, whether he is known or unknown, is a part of the child’s life and the reason he or she exists. He may be in a relationship with, married to or divorced from the birth mother. Knowing the role of each birth parent is essential to understanding adoption and how it affects everyone involved. 

To clarify, let’s discuss the two different types of birth fathers — known vs. unknown — and what each entails. 

Who is a Birth Father? 

To begin, let’s first establish who a birth father is. A birth father is the father of a child who is adopted or is in the process of becoming an adoptee. A birth father’s relationship with his child varies depending on his position in the adoption journey. Some birth fathers may or may not have parental rights and some may or may not be in a relationship with the child’s birth mother. What remains constant is that a birth father helped bring life into this world, and will forever be a part of his child. Every birth father is unique as is his child.

Types of Birth Fathers

A Known Birth Father

When a birth father is known, he may be in favor of adoption, have a neutral opinion or be against it. If a known birth father does not want to be involved in the adoption process, he will need to sign away his parental rights so the adoption can move forward and be legally finalized. 

On the other hand, if a known birth father wants to be a part of the adoption process and is in favor of adoption, he and the birth mother can meet with an adoption agency to create an adoption plan. Even if the birth father chooses to be involved in the adoption process, the birth mother still has ultimate say on what this looks like. This largely depends on what kind of relationship the birth parents share. For instance, a birth mother is more apt to allow the birth father to help support her if they have a strong and healthy relationship. However, if they are recently split or haven’t been on speaking terms for a long time, she might not feel comfortable with him being there. Whatever the case, the birth father must be prepared to respect the birth mother and support however she chooses to place her child for adoption.

Showing support and committing to the adoption plan with the birth mother shows that the birth father wants to give his child a better life. Adoption is a very emotional decision and not one that can be taken lightly. Adoption Choices of Missouri is dedicated to helping birth parents through the initial adoption,  transition and beyond. Counseling services are available to both the birth mother and father at no cost to either of them.

An Unknown Birth Father

An unknown birth father is someone who is either not around or not known by the birth mother. In other words, she doesn’t know anything about him. He could be anyone from a one-stand to a man who sexually assaulted her. Unknown birth fathers are, unfortunately, very common within the adoption industry. But don’t worry. This doesn’t mean that your adoption process will be halted. You are still able to place your baby for adoption and search for prospective adoptive parents. 

In cases like this, our agency does our due diligence to locate him with any and all information the birth mother is able to provide. If the birth father does not appear within the allotted time, the adoption process is allowed to continue and become finalized without his signature.

Birth Fathers and Adoption

If you are thinking about adoption or have already begun your adoption journey, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you determine if your child’s birth father is known or unknown, and can provide guidance as to what steps to take. Remember that you are making a crucial decision that can be life-changing for your child, and that we are here to support you every step of the way. Depending on your situation with your child’s birth father, his presence or absence will not impact your adoption journey, so long as you and your baby are safe and healthy. 

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your specific circumstances, don’t hesitate to reach out to our adoption caseworkers. We are more than happy to put your mind at ease, and will ensure that you have the most empowering and positive adoption journey possible — both with and without your child’s birth father.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

 

 

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