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Birth Mothers and the Missouri Adoption Triad

Birth Mothers and the Missouri Adoption Triad

The relationships in our lives help shape us into who we are today. It is through these bonds that we learn fundamental life lessons and grow into our own identities. When it comes tobirth mothers and the Missouri adoption triad, the connections between each party can look many different ways.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, our goal is to support you through each step of your adoption journey. This includes providing you assistance as you navigate the waters of relationship-building and communication within your adoption.

What is an Adoption Triad?

An adoption triad refers to the groups of people that are directly involved in an adoption: the birth mother, the adoptive family and the adoptee. If you think about your adoption as a narrative, these are your three main characters. No matter which type of adoption you choose, each of these groups will have a lasting impact on the others.

Relationships between Birth Mothers and Adoptees

To you, the adoptee is your birth child and you are their birth mother. Depending on the type of adoption you choose to have, your relationship with your birth child may look many different ways.

For example, should you decide on an open adoption, you and your child will remain connected through varied forms of communication. These can include letters, emails and in person meetings. Your child will grow up with a strong understanding of who you are and will be able to ask any questions that might arise as they grow older.

If you choose to have a semi-open or a closed adoption, you may not remain in touch with your child. While this means that you will have a different relationship with them than in an open adoption, it doesn’t mean that you are not connected. Your child will still be a part of your life story, a connecting piece in the adoption triad.

Relationships between Birth Mothers and Adoptive Families

Relationships between birth mothers and their child’s adoptive families, both pieces of the adoption triad, are unique to their situation. A large factor in determining the type of relationship you will have with your child’s adoptive family is what type of adoption you select.

In an open adoption, you and your child’s adoptive family will decide on what kind of communication feels best for you. You can keep in touch only to arrange meetings and communication with your child, or you might choose to be more involved with each other. It is up to both parties to discuss what feels right.

In a semi-open or closed adoption, you likely won’t have an ongoing relationship with your child’s adoptive family. While you will still have the option of selecting your child’s adoptive family, you won’t be building a relationship with them post placement.

Relationships between Adoptive Families and Adoptees

The relationship between adoptive families and adoptees, two pieces of the adoption triad, is the one that remains similar despite the type of adoption you choose. The adoptive family becomes the legal guardians of the adoptee as soon as all the documents are signed.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have an extensive collection of portfolios for potential adoptive families. You will be able to browse through these before you select the right match for your child. No matter your choice, it is helpful to remember that adoptive families and adoptees are just loving families. Adoptive families care and love for their children just as any family would.

Build Your Missouri Adoption Triad

In order to form your own adoption triad, you will need to select an adoptive family. Our adoption agency will pair you with an adoption specialist who can help you through this part of your journey. Remember, there is not only one path forbirth mothers and the Missouri adoption triad. Your adoption triad and the relationships you form with each member of it will be unique and special to you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

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5 Positive Ways Adoption in Missouri Impacts Birth Mothers

5 Positive Ways Adoption in Missouri Impacts Birth Mothers

As a birth mother, you have gone through your pregnancy journey and have chosen the beautiful but hard choice of choosing adoption. As a birth mother, you will gain such love from your child and your child’s adoptive family as you go through the Missouri adoption process. You may not know how your adoption story will unfold or all the small joyful moments that will come along on this journey. Now, at Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the five positive ways that adoption will impact you as a birth mother. Know that adoption isn’t a sad decision but a heartwarming decision with positive benefits.

1. You will be a part of your Birth Child’s Life

As a birth mother, you will always be a part of your birth child’s life; the option of open adoption will allow you to be a part of the special moments your child will have as they grow up, like school events. Now, if you live close or even you live far, you will still be able to bond with your child via video message or phone calls.

No matter your chosen adoption route, you will always have a connection to your birth child.

2. You will not have to Struggle to Take Care of Your Child

Being a birth mother means that you will not have to struggle taking care of your child. This might cause you some relief as you know that you are not ready to be a parent at this time in your life. You will be able to pick a caring family that you will entrust with your child. By placing your birth child up for adoption, he or she might get to experience the many opportunities you want for your child, for example, going on an extravagant vacation. The joys of life that your child might experience will make you feel unbelievably relieved and happy. 

3. You will get to Create Special Memories

As you move through your adoption journey as a birth parent, you might get to make special memories for yourself and your child. You might be able to create adoption-related ornaments with your child to document their birth or the day of your visit with them. You might also be able to take pictures with them and create a scrapbook that details your photos or letters to and from your child. Whichever way you choose to share the joy of your choice of adoption with your child might be filled with love and happiness.

4. You will Get a Second Mother’s Day

As a birth mother, you get a special holiday dedicated to you for your selfless decision to choose adoption. This mother’s day happens on the second Saturday before mother’s day. This holiday celebrates the joy and love you have for your child; it also makes you feel important and appreciated as a mother. This holiday might make you feel special as you are an important piece of your child’s life, and you deserve to feel that way, as you are a birth mother, always and forever.

5. You will Get to Share Your Adoption Story

As a birth mother, you may get the chance to share your adoption story with other pregnant women and potential birth mothers. Sharing your personal story of the joys and growth your adoption journey has brought you might highlight why choosing adoption is such a great decision. For you, adoption may have let you experience the joy of motherhood for a second time later in your life; you might get to experience a passion of yours that you could not before, the life opportunities that will be open to you are endless, your adoption story is just beginning, and, it might forever be changing for the better.

Positive Advice for Birth Mothers

Being a birth mother means you might experience the joys of adoption and the important role you have in your birth child’s life. Being a birth mother can change your life in unexpected joyful ways. There are so many positives to adoption that will be good for your child, your child’s adoptive parents, and you. As a birth mother, consider these mentioned above positives and others as a way to remember why you made this beautiful decision.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

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How Going Through an Adoption Agency Will Help Protect Your Birth Mother Rights After Adoption in Missouri

How Going Through an Adoption Agency Will Help Protect Your Birth Mother Rights After Adoption in Missouri

Being a birth mother doesn’t end just because you’ve had your baby, and neither should your rights as a birth mother. But when do your birth mother rights begin and when do they end? What exactly are your birth mother rights after adoption in Missouri? How does going through an adoption agency protect these rights and more?

Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you understand and secure your rights as a birth mother, throughout the adoption process and after. We care deeply about our birth mothers, and we like to go above and beyond by continuing to provide that same level of care and concern after the adoption process is completed.

Please keep in mind that adoption laws vary by state and are always subject to change, and that this article is not an adequate substitute for real legal advice. Do not hesitate to call and ask our adoption specialists regarding any questions you may have. It is important that you understand your birth mother rights and know that we offer legal representation and counseling to protect those rights.

The Top 4 Ways Our Adoption Agency Protects Your Birth Mother Rights After Adoption in Missouri

  1. Your right as a birth mother to change your mind about adoption. Only you as the birth mother can give the consent to place your baby for a voluntary adoption, and you should never feel pressured or like you are not in control of making your adoption plan. Changing your mind about the adoption process once it has started is called withdrawing consent, and you can change your mind by withdrawing consent at any point during the adoption process.How long after the adoption do you reserve the right to change your mind? A voluntary adoption means that you are willingly and permanently waiving your parental rights. Your voluntary termination of parental rights is irreversible once your consent to adoption is finalized and signed by the court. However, there is a small gap of time after you’ve given birth but before the adoption is finalized in court. This time is called the revocation period because it is the time period after the baby’s delivery in which you can still revoke your consent to adoption. In Missouri, you can change your mind about adoption up to a full 48 hours after you give birth. But please remember that you will not be able to legally change your mind once the paperwork is officially finalized.

    Your adoption caseworker will be working hard to help make sure that you do not even need to use these revocation laws. Your adoption specialist will be working with you every step of the way to help ensure that you are comfortable with everything that is happening and that you are in complete control of making your adoption plan. You will get to choose what type of adoption you would like, set any future visitation rules or guidelines, and pick the adoptive family out yourself. You are in control of your adoption process and what that looks like for you.

  2. Your right as a birth mother to grief counseling and emotional support services throughout the adoption process and after. Our adoption agency understands what a hard and difficult time this may be for you. That is why we go the extra mile by offering mental health counseling and emotional support services for birth mothers even after your adoption process is completed. We make sure that our birth mothers are just as well taken care of during your post-placement as you are during your pregnancy.
  3. Your right as a birth mother to know that your baby has been placed for adoption into a safe and loving home. We are a full-service, licensed adoption agency. This means that all of our prospective adoptive families have undergone a rigorous home study test in order to be approved to adopt. All of the adoptive families you see in our family portfolios are pre-screened and pre-qualified. You can rest easy and assured knowing that your baby has been placed in a nurturing and safe home, no matter which of our adoptive families you have picked.
  4. Your right as a birth mother to an adoption attorney and paid legal fees. Finances are a major contributing factor as to why many birth mothers choose adoption in the first place, and you should not have to break the bank fighting for your rights as a birth mother. We will help you find an attorney and cover any legal costs necessary to protect your birth mother rights after adoption in Missouri.

Don’t Wait to Get Unplanned Pregnancy Help: Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today to Place Your Baby for Adoption and to Secure Your Rights as a Birth Mother 

If you need unplanned pregnancy help and are considering adoption,please do not hesitate to contact our adoption agency as soon as possible. The sooner you contact us, the sooner we can get to work answering any of your adoption questions and get you started on your adoption journey.

If you do choose to place your baby for adoption with our adoption agency, know that our birth mothers are very important to us. This means that your health and safety are our highest concern and priority. That is why we continue to take care of our birth mothers even after the adoption process is completed. Whether that care is protecting your rights by providing an attorney or simply offering counseling to help you adjust to life post-placement, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

Open Adoption: What it is and Why It’s the Preferred Adoption Option in Missouri

Open Adoption: What it is and Why It’s the Preferred Adoption Option in Missouri

Are you a birth mother in Missouri who is considering an open adoption? If so, you might have some questions about putting your baby up for adoption. The good news is that at Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have answers.

Adoption has evolved with the times. While many people still think of a closed adoption as the most common choice, that isn’t actually the case. Birth mothers choose different types of adoption based on their personal needs, but open adoptions have become more common.

Open Adoption: what It is and Why It’s the Preferred Option

  • What is Open Adoption?

Open adoption refers to an adoption in which all parties maintain communication. This means that you will stay in contact with your birth child and his or her adoptive family pre, during and post-placement. As opposed to a closed adoption, both you and the adoptive family will share identifying information in an open adoption.

In an open adoption, you’ll have the opportunity to meet with your birth child in person. This can help establish a strong bond and grow your relationship. If both you and your child’s adoptive family agree, these meetings can include grandparents and extended family members as well.

In an open adoption, you will get to choose your child’s adoptive family. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, you’ll have the chance to look through our potential adoptive family portfolios. These contain information about each family for you to review. You can select a family that feels like a good match and your adoption caseworker will facilitate a phone call and an in-person meeting.

  • What Does Communication Look Like in an Open Adoption?

Because each adoption is as unique as each birth mother, communication in an open adoption will look different for everyone. However, there are a few common factors you can expect. For example, you might communicate through direct emails or letters, as well as meet in person.

If you choose an open adoption, you will need to establish boundaries with your child’s adoptive family. By doing so, you can make sure that all parties are in agreement about what type of communication is acceptable. Your adoption caseworker can help facilitate this discussion. It is helpful to remember that the best agreements are the ones that are best for your child.

  • Why is Open Adoption the Preferred Option?

Open adoption has become the preferred option for many reasons, one being that it anticipates the needs of your child. It is common for adopted children to develop questions about their birth mothers as they grow older. In an open adoption, you will remain a part of their lives from the beginning. This can help your child as they navigate the challenges of discovering and forming their own identity.

Another reason that open adoption is often preferred is because it can lessen any negative stigmas around adoption. Because information is readily available, questions can be answered as soon as they are asked. Keeping something private can sometimes lead to the misconception that it is shameful or embarrassing. Rather, adoption is a process that is many things—joyful, complicated, emotional—but never something to be ashamed of.

Is an Open Adoption Right for You?

Now that you have more information around open adoption, what it is and why it’s the preferred choice, you might be ready to select the type of adoption you’d prefer.

Only you can decide if an open adoption is the right choice for you. Because you are an expert on your own needs and situation, the final choice ultimately has to come from you. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for some support! At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we provide you with an adoption caseworker who can help you walk through the benefits and drawbacks of an open adoption.

Additionally, if you have supportive friends and family in your life, you can always turn to them for advice. Be sure to listen to your heart when making this choice. At the end of the day, the best decision is the one that will benefit you and your baby.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

 

 

 

 

 

Birth Mother Blog

6 Different Types of Adoption Families: What You Should Know as a Birth Mother

6 Different Types of Adoption Families: What You Should Know as a Birth Mother

Selecting your unborn child’s adoptive parents is a decision that takes time and patience as you sort through the adoptive parent profiles; this is an essential part of the adoption process in the State of Missouri.

When thinking about your child’s adoptive parents, you may be wondering what type of adoptive family will fit you and your baby’s wants and needs, like if you prefer a two-parent household or would consider a one-parent household. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to guide you through your adoption journey, as we have listed the six types of adoptive families you may want to consider for your birth child.

 The Types of Missouri Adoptive Families

  1. Younger

Having young adoptive parents raise your child does not mean young parents might be immature or make them any less of parents. It simply means that they may provide a different perspective to parenting your child. For example, how they parent your child may look somewhat different than you would expect, but they may run into obstacles with the adoptive parents still being young and wanting to explore the outside world more than older adults. This example may cause uncertainty in your decision to select younger adoptive parents because this requires unknown individuals to care for your child in the absence of the adoptive parents.

  1. Older

Picking older adoptive parents for your birth child means that they may parent your child in the traditional ways of parenthood. Having older/mature parents raise your child may help guide and advise them as they grow up. Older parents may seem like they won’t embrace the new teachings of parenting. However, this may not be the case as older adoptive parents can still adapt to the different parenting styles and still teach your child important life lessons.

  1. Traditional

As a birth mother, you may have envisioned your child having a traditional family, mother, and father, which is perfectly okay. Having two parents with different parenting styles working as a team may be a top priority in your adoption plan. Having two parents raise your child means your child might get to have two loving parents who will guide and support them as they grow up. Living in a two-parent home might ensure that your child’s wants and needs will be fulfilled. Your birth child will gain two loving parents that will teach them good communication, a foundation in teamwork, and love.

4. LGBTQ

Choosing a same-sex couple as adoptive parents for your birth child might teach your child open communication, understanding, and the meaning of love. An LGBT adoption might help your child grow as they embrace their identity as they grow up, gain confidence, and teach them how to accept others that may be different from them. Furthermore, LGBT parents will constantly be open and transparent with the child, as they understand the challenges that your child may face in life.

5. Single

Choosing a single adoptive parent as your birth child’s parent does not mean your child will be loved any less, just because your adoptive parent chooses to parent alone. Choosing a single adoptive parent to raise your child might provide your child with the same love, care and support that having two parents would. Having a single parent might also teach your birth child how to be independent and that things may not always go as planned but that things will turn out okay. As a birth mother, consider choosing a single adoptive parent to give your child the love and care they deserve.

6. Transracial

Transracial adoption is choosing your child’s adoptive parents based on love, not skin color. Now, if certain values like culture or heritage matter to you, then maybe transracial adoption may not be a good fit for you. However, choosing a transracial adoption gives your birth child a sense of learning and growing not only about their birth culture but also about allowing their adoptive parents to teach them the unique traditions of their adoptive family. Having your birth child grow up in a transracial household may benefit them greatly as they grow to understand diversity and their place in the world.

Advice for you as a Missouri Birth Mother

Choosing your child’s adoptive parents is such an important part of your adoption process. With the help of our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, Your birth child

will gain a family full of love, support, and a chance at happiness. Choosing your birth child’s parents might provide you, the birth mother, with a sense of relief as you realize the importance of the values you want to instill in your child’s future. Your child’s adoptive parents will help your child grow and provide your child with a unique and happy family unit full of love.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

The Pros and Cons of Open Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

The Pros and Cons of Open Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

Are you a birth mother who has chosen adoption but is having trouble deciding which type of adoption is right for you? After all, what exactly is an open adoption? What are the benefits of an open adoption? What other types of adoption are available to you? You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed with similar questions and more. It’s OK. Take a deep breath, slowly breathing in and out. Relax. Adoption Choices of Missouriis here to help answer all of your adoption questions. Whichever type of adoption you choose, we are here to help you every step of the way.

The Three Different Types of Adoption Available When You Place Your Baby for Adoption Through an Adoption Agency in Missouri

There are three types of adoption: open, closed, and semi-open adoption. A closed adoption is when there is no identifying information left behind by the birth mother or the adoptive family. The birth mother and adoptive family do not stay in touch and have no way of contacting each other.

A semi-open adoption falls somewhere between the other two options by limiting contact to written communication. These letters or emails are usually shared indirectly through some sort of third party.

An open adoption is when the birth mother and adoptive family share identifying contact information. Both parties agree on a set of rules or guidelines in order to stay in touch directly, via in-person visits, phone calls, texts, and e-mails. Our adoption agency strongly encourages open adoption because we believe that it keeps everyone’s best interests at heart.

The Pros of Open Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

  1. Maintain a healthy relationship with your baby and the adoptive family. In an open adoption, you won’t have to worry and wonder from afar whether or not your baby and the adoptive family are OK, because you’ll be able to simply ask them how they are doing. You will be able to watch your child grow up throughout the years. You will get to see and know the kind of person your baby grows up to be.
  2. Answer questions your child may have about why they were placed for adoption. Your child will not have to grow up without understanding why you placed them for adoption. You will be able to explain to them why you had to make this caring and selfless decision for their benefit and why it was the best option for everyone involved. You will have the opportunity to explain to them how hard this was for you and how you felt the need to give them a chance at a better life through adoption.
  3. You are in control of your open adoption. As the birth mother, you are the one who establishes the ground rules. You are the one who chooses to place your baby for adoption, you get to set the criteria and pick the adoptive family, and you get to set the visitation guidelines. You have the final say on what you are willing to compromise on and what is non-negotiable.
  4. A licensed adoption agency means that your baby will be going to a safe and loving home, no matter what. Our full-service, licensed adoption agency provides pre-screened and qualified families for your open adoption. All of the adoptive families shown in our family portfolios have undergone a rigorous home study before being approved. This means that you will be placing your baby in a loving and nurturing home, no matter which family you pick.

The Cons of Open Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

  1. There may be a confusion of parental roles. When you place your baby for adoption, you waive your parental rights. This means that you will not have the final say if you disagree with the adoptive family’s decisions or parenting styles.
  2. There is less of the closure and privacy that come with a closed or semi-open adoption. Open adoption is not right for everyone. For some birth mothers, it is too much of a painful reminder. For others, it does not offer the discretion they seek. If you are looking for closure or anonymity, then a closed or semi-open adoption may be a better suit for you.
  3. It will not always be possible to stay in touch or visit with your baby and the adoptive family. It is always important to be realistic and manage expectations when it comes to adoption. Your baby and their adoptive family may simply be too busy with their own lives to see you for every holiday and family reunion. Although you will get to see them throughout the years, it will not always be possible to plan a visit or keep in contact as much as you would like.

Is Open Adoption Right for You? Call Our Missouri Adoption Agency Today to Find Unplanned Pregnancy Help 

An unplanned pregnancy can feel very stressful and overwhelming, but choosing a type of adoption and making your adoption plan does not have to be. Our agency’s adoption specialists are ready and waiting to help you place your baby for adoption. Your adoption caseworker will help you weigh all of your adoption options and work to ensure that you pick the best type of adoption to suit your needs. The sooner you contact our adoption agency, the sooner we can get started helping you with your adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

5 Benefits of Open Adoption in Missouri

5 Benefits of Open Adoption in Missouri

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy in Missouri, you might be searching for options. The good news is that you have choices! At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we offer three different types of adoption: closed, semi-open and open adoption.

Each of these types of adoption has its own set of benefits and drawbacks. The right choice for you will depend on a number of personal factors. You will need to take into account your situation, your preferences and your needs. If you are considering an open adoption, it can be helpful to know some details. Fortunately, there are manybenefits of an open adoption. 

1. You Can Choose Your Child’s Adoptive Family

It is natural to want your child to be placed with an adoptive family that will love and care for them. At our Missouri adoption center, we have an extensive list of potential adoptive family portfolios for you to browse. These portfolios include information about each family and their background, beliefs and values. While you look for a good match for your child, you can keep in mind any specific areas that you’d like your child’s adoptive family to share.

You will not embark upon this portion of your adoption journey alone. Your adoption specialist will be there to answer questions and offer support. Once you select a family that you are interested in, your adoption specialist will help you set up a phone call. From there, you’ll have the option to meet the potential adoptive family in person. If you change your mind at any point during this process, you always have the freedom to move in a different direction. 

2. You Can Build a Relationship With Your Birth Child

One of the wonderful things about an open adoption is that you can build a relationship with your birth child. You will have the opportunity to communicate with them through several different methods, including photos, letters, emails and meet ups.

It is important to come to an agreement with your child’s adoptive family ahead of time concerning any communication details. If everyone is on the same page, you can all avoid crossing any boundaries by mistake. You will want to cover topics like how often you will communicate with your birth child, what that will look like and if any other family members will be involved (i.e. relatives, siblings, etc.).

3. You Can Build a Relationship with Your Child’s Adoptive Family

In addition to building a relationship with your birth child, you can also build one with his or her adoptive family. This will depend on what you and your child’s adoptive family agree upon, but it is possible to establish a strong bond. You might stay connected through phone calls or emails. If you’d like, you can meet in person and spend time with your birth child together. Whatever feels right to you both is the best way to go.

4. Your Birth Child Can Ask Questions About Their Adoption

As your birth child grows older, they will likely develop questions surrounding their identity and background. This includes questions about their adoption and you, their birth mother. If you are able to maintain and build a relationship with them from birth, it is easier to answer these questions as they arise. Your child will grow up knowing the details of his or her adoption and, most importantly, that they have been loved their whole life.

5. You Have the Comfort of Knowing How Your Child is Doing

Because you will have a relationship with your birth child in an open adoption, you can stay informed about what’s going on in their life. This includes big life events, like weddings and graduations, as well as smaller dailly moments. The amount that your child chooses to share will vary between families, as well as with any agreements you come to with your child’s adoptive family.

Having a connection to your child can help alleviate any worries or anxieties related to their wellbeing. If you are still experiencing those feelings, it can help to speak to a professional. Adoption Choices of Missourioffers access to counseling service during your pregnancy and post-placement as well.

Is an Open Adoption Right for Me?

Now that you are more familiar with some of the benefits of open adoption and types of adoption, you can begin to consider if this is the right option for you. Be sure to listen to your heart and reach for support when you need it. Our adoption agency in Missouri has plenty of help to offer and we are happy to answer any questions that you might have. We want you to feel confident and secure in any choice that you make.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

Birth Mother Blog

4 Ways to Communicate in an Open Adoption in Missouri

4 Ways to Communicate in an Open Adoption in Missouri

Open and respectful communication is one of the best ways to build a solid relationship with someone. If you are a birth mother in Missouri who has chosen an open adoption, finding healthy ways to communicate will be crucial. Not only will you remain in contact with your birth child, you’ll also have an ongoing relationship with his or her adoptive family.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have plenty of support available for you as you navigate the waters of your open adoption. Your adoption caseworker can answer any questions you have about the different ways that an open adoption can look. Your adoption journey will be unique to you, but there are a few common ways to communicate in an open adoption.

  • Phone Calls with Your Birth Child and His or Her Adoptive Family 

One simple way to communicate with your birth child and his or her adoptive family is through phone calls. These can be quick check-ins to see how things are going or longer phone calls that cover the bigger events in your birth child’s life. Both types of calls can be helpful ways to communicate.

When might you give your birth child or his or her adoptive family a call? Again, this depends on any prior agreements that you’ve made with your birth child’s adoptive family. Maybe you’ve decided on a certain day to hold a weekly check-in. Perhaps you’ve all decided that it’s okay to call regardless of the day or time. Maybe you’d like to speak on the phone before or after big life events, like a graduation or a wedding. These phone calls can look many different ways. The important thing is that you maintain positivity and respect the boundaries you’ve discussed with your birth child’s adoptive family.

  • Visit Your Birth Child In Person

Another way that you can keep up communication with your birth child is through in-person visits. With an in-person visit, you’ll be able to catch up with your birth child and get to know them through conversation. You might plan an activity that the two of you can do together, like going to the park or taking a painting class, or you can choose to keep it less structured.

Keeping in touch in this way allows you to watch your birth child grow up. You’ll be able to see them develop from a small child to an accomplished adult. If you and your birth child’s adoptive family have discussed this, you can also visit their house for dinner or other events. In this way, you are able to connect with both your birth child and his or her adoptive family at the same time.

  • Write Letters to Your Birth Child

Sometimes it can be hard to say all the things that we want to in person. Something comes up and we forget, or it feels a little bit too awkward to express a bigger emotion. Writing a letter is a great way to ensure that you communicate everything you were hoping to with precision.

If you’re not sure what to include in a letter, take a minute to jot down a list of possible ideas. Is there anything in particular that you really want your birth child to know about you or your family? This is the perfect opportunity to teach them. You can include information about your childhood, rituals or beliefs that are valuable to you and details about the things you love.

It is also a wonderful place to express your feelings for your birth child and let them know that they are cared for deeply. Do keep in mind, however, that it is not appropriate to share anything that would violate your agreement with your birth child’s adoptive family or go against any beliefs that they are sharing with them.

  • Follow Your Birth Child and/or His or Her Adoptive Family on Social Media

The world can feel very small and interconnected these days, thanks to social media. An easy way to keep up with your birth child and their adoptive family is by following them on social media. Make sure you discuss this beforehand with the adoptive family.

You can comment on posts and keep up with life events through pictures and captions. It also allows you a quick avenue to let your birth child know that you are proud of them. Sometimes, communicating big feelings in a smaller way can be a great reminder of how much you care.

Consider an Open Adoption in Missouri Today

There are so many ways to communicate in an open adoption. Make sure that you discuss your preferred methods of communication with your birth child’s adoptive family before you commit to any. From there, you can outline a plan with them to ensure that there are no surprises along the way.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we understand that it can be hard to come up with a communication plan. Our staff is here to help should you need it. Our goal is for your open adoption to be joyful and filled with love.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.

Birth Mother Blog

The Pros and Cons of Semi-Open Adoption for Pregnant Women in Missouri

The Pros and Cons of Semi-Open Adoption for Pregnant Women in Missouri

Most of us are at least somewhat familiar with the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. As Goldilocks wanders the bears’ house, she finds some items that are too much for her and some that are not enough. This is too big, that is too small, she says. This is too hot, that is too cold. But then, she always finds a third choice that falls perfectly between the two other options, and it is just right.

For many expectant mothers, semi-open adoption is that happy medium that is just right. It is the perfect mix of what they like best about open and closed adoptions. But what are the differences between each type of adoption? Is semi-open adoption even right for you? Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you find out which type of adoption is the best one for you when making your adoption plan.

The Three Main Types of Adoption Options Available in Missouri

There are three types of adoption: open, closed, and semi-open. An open adoption is when the birth mother and adoptive family have an open relationship that follows an established set of agreed-upon guidelines. Open adoption means staying in touch directly through in-person visits and planned meetings. A closed adoption is when the birth mother leaves no identifying information and has absolutely no contact with the baby or the adoptive family once the adoption process is completed. A semi-open adoption falls somewhere in the middle between the two.

Semi-open adoption usually consists of leaving behind some contact information with a mediator and staying in touch indirectly. The birth mother’s dialogue with the baby and the adoptive family is through nonverbal, written forms of communication in semi-open adoption. This usually means corresponding through e-mails, photos, or letters.

There is usually some sort of third-party mediator who oversees and directs these exchanges. At our adoption agency, we use a secure and confidential online portal called ChildConnect. ChildConnect allows you to communicate with your adoptive parents and receive updates about your child from a safe and protected distance.

The Pros of Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri

  1. The best of both worlds. Maybe open adoption seems intimidating to you, but closed adoption seems too final. Semi-open adoption is a nice middle ground that offers the best aspects of each. You won’t have the familial commitments or obligations of open adoption, but you will still be able to know a bit about your baby as he or she grows up. You will still have a sense of the privacy and anonymity that a closed adoption offers, but get a chance to explain a bit about yourself and why you chose to place your baby for adoption through an introductory letter.
  2. You are in control. Birth mothers are always in control over how much involvement they feel comfortable with, but a semi-open adoption allows for a little more control when setting the ground rules of how much contact is or is not okay. You can decide how much of your information is shared and how much you’d like to say about yourself in your letters or emails. Written communication allows you to take the time to make sure you say everything you want to say, but only what you want to say. You can decide how much of yourself you would or wouldn’t like to disclose.
  3. Less guilt or grief. There is almost always a sense of regret and sadness over the loss of parenthood that comes with adoption. It is perfectly natural to feel remorse after such a huge and life-changing decision. That is why our adoption agency offers mental health and support counseling for birth mothers. But semi-open adoption can help to soften that blow. You can avoid the painful reminders that come with seeing your baby face-to-face in an open adoption, but you can still have peace of mind knowing that your baby will grow up able to find the answers to any adoption questions they may have.

The Cons of Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri

  1. You have to be realistic and manage expectations when it comes to adoption. Let’s face it, life happens. People grow and get wrapped up in their lives and don’t always get around to writing back, even if they have the best intentions of doing so. There is always a chance that you may lose touch with your adoptive family and your child over the years. These things happen, but try to not take it personally and understand that it is because they are busy with their own lives.
  2. You may not have complete privacy. In a world where everything ends up online and everyone is on social media, there is a small likelihood that you will be found online outside of your mediator. Please understand that this is a possibility based on the level of your presence online, so you may not have the total anonymity that comes with a closed adoption.
  3. The mediator may go out of business. Fortunately, our ChildConnect portal should not be going anywhere any time soon. But, sometimes the mediator that adoption agencies offer does go out of business. Even though your adoption case history and information should be forwarded to another mediator in this event, all the confusion and red tape can make staying in touch extremely frustrating and difficult.

Contact Our Adoption Agency Today to Find Out if Semi-Open Adoption is Right for You When Placing Your Baby for Adoption

Our adoption caseworkers are ready and waiting to answer any questions you may have about semi-open adoption in Missouri. Whether you are trying to find closure with a closed adoption, have a more open and personal relationship through open adoption, or have the best of both worlds with semi-open adoption, your adoption specialist will work with you every step of the way. No matter what type of adoption you decide on, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you make your adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

What is Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri?

What is Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri?

If you are a pregnant woman in Missouri, you are probably aware that there are several different types of adoption for you to consider when putting your baby up for adoption. How do you know which one is right for you? The best way to make that decision is to become familiar with your available choices. Let’s explore semi-open adoption.

What is Semi-Open Adoption?

Just like the name suggests, this type of adoption falls somewhere in the middle of open and closed adoption. It can be a good choice if you want some updates about her child, but also want to maintain your privacy.

Here are some key aspects of semi-open adoption:

  • Communication in a Semi-Open Adoption is Conducted through a Third Party

In a semi-open adoption, you will still have the opportunity to receive updates and information about your child. However, you will not be communicating directly with him or her or the adoptive family. Rather, all your communication will be facilitated by a third party.

What does that mean? It simply means that Adoption Choices of Missouri will help mediate your interactions with the adoptive parents and your child through ChildConnect, a secure and safe online portal. Rather than sending an email or a letter directly to your birth child, you and the adoptive parents will be able to exchange letters, updates and photos with each through ChildConnect.

  • You have Privacy in a Semi-Open Adoption

Similar to a closed adoption, any identifying information in a semi-open adoption is kept private. You won’t share this kind of information with your child’s adoptive family, nor will they share information about themselves with you. Communication usually occurs via email, letters or photographs. In-person meetings are very rare, although you may choose to have your child’s adoptive family at the hospital during the child’s birth.

  • You can Choose Your Child’s Adoptive Family in a Semi-Open Adoption 

You will have the option to choose your child’s adoptive family if you elect to have a semi-open adoption. You will have access to our adoption agency’s extensive portfolios of potential adoptive families. In these, you’ll be able to read bios about each adoptive family and select a couple or individual who seems like a good fit for your baby.

Your adoption caseworker is available to support you through this decision process. She can answer any questions you have and facilitate any meetings or conversations with the potential adoptive family. The final decision is still up to you, but you will have plenty of support should you need it.

How Do I Know if Semi-Open Adoption is Right for Me? 

It can be tempting to rely on others to make difficult decisions for us. However, you know yourself and your situation best. Listen to yourself when it comes to making this choice and respect your own decisions. The best choice is the one that feels right for you and your baby.

If you need support, try reaching out to family or friends whom you trust. It can be helpful to talk things over before making any final decisions. You can also turn to your adoption caseworker for support. Additionally, if you feel the need to speak to a professional at any point during your adoption journey, our Adoption Choices of Missouri offers counseling services to all pregnant women considering adoption.

Will You Choose Semi-Open Adoption?

If you are a birth mother in Missouri and are deciding which type of adoption is right for you, take some time to consider the benefits of each of your adoption options. Now that we have answered the question of what is semi-open adoption, use this knowledge to help inform your decision.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Adoption Choices of Missouri. We are always happy to educate you further around the features of semi-open adoption. Our top priority is that you have the information and confidence to make the best decision for you and your baby.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.

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