Adoption and the Birth Mothers Who Make it Possible
By Moki Murillo
What is a birth mother? When it comes to adoption, the birth mother is the biological parent of a child. They are the parent who gives birth to a child and then hands custody over to an adoptive family. Over the years, there have been many misconceptions about the adoption process. Unfortunately, many of these myths are actively harmful to the people involved in adoption, especially birth mothers.
Many people have the unfortunate impression that adoption involves people paying birth mothers for custody of their babies. This practice is actually illegal. While birth mothers don’t get paid, adoptive parents often cover the mother’s living and medical expenses during pregnancy. This is usually done through an adoption agency.
Adoption Choices of Missouri is one of those agencies. Birth mothers come to us for many reasons. Often, they are suddenly faced with an unplanned pregnancy and find themselves unable to raise a child. If you find yourself having similar circumstances, then perhaps you should consider adoption as an option.
The Adoption Process
To begin, you must first choose between the adoption agencies near you and make contact with a representative. For Adoption Choices of Missouri, you can call or text via the number found on our website. This will get you in contact with an adoption specialist. Provided you have proof of pregnancy, your birth parent specialist will arrange a meeting either in person or remotely. While adoption is our agency’s specialty, your specialist will walk you through all of your options.
Should you choose adoption, you will be provided with the paperwork needed to devise an adoption plan. Your adoption plan can cover certain living and medical expenses if you are eligible. You can also choose the adoptive family that will take custody of your baby. Prior to your due date, you can also form a hospital plan, which includes your preferred method of birth. This hospital plan can even include who gets to be present at the birth and who names the baby.
Now that you know how to begin the adoption process, you might ask if it is right for you. Is it even the right thing to do? These questions are on the mind of every birth mother we work with. Sharing some of their truths might help put a good number of those concerns at ease.
Facts About the Birth Mothers of the Adoption Process
1. Birth Mothers Don’t “Give Up” When They Choose Adoption
A common stereotype is the idea that mothers who choose adoption essentially abandon their children. Unfortunately, adoption still has a negative association in our society, and much of it is levied on birth mothers. This implication of selfishness might be why you are hesitant about adoption. However, the women who choose adoption aren’t what the rumors imply.
Many birth mothers who reach out to us do so because they have circumstances outside of their control. Some birth mothers are low-income, are between homes, or even come from abusive environments. Others are in school or have demanding careers that won’t allow them the time to raise a child. Whatever their circumstances, the one thing that they have in common is that they care for their babies.
The birth mothers that we work with are deeply concerned about the well-being of their child. They choose adoption because they understand that another family can afford to give their child a better life. Proof of this comes with the fact that many birth mothers we work with choose their child’s adoptive family carefully. They want to ensure that their child’s new family is both ready for the responsibility and shares their values.
These women are thoughtful and responsible, not selfish. If you have similar circumstances, then neither are you.
2. Not All Who Choose Adoption are the Same
Another common misconception about birth mothers is that they are all either irresponsible teenagers or otherwise unstable. Adoption is also unfairly associated with only the types of people that society deems unworthy of childrearing.
In our experience, however, birth mothers come in all shapes and sizes. While many are young and single, some of the birth mothers we work with are already married. Some might already have children of their own, but their current circumstances won’t allow them to raise any more.
Just because your circumstances aren’t as dire as other birth mothers doesn’t preclude you from choosing adoption, your reasons for considering adoption are just as valid as you are putting your child’s future first.
3. Adoption isn’t Losing Your Child Forever
Just because someone else is taking custody of your baby doesn’t necessarily mean they are lost to you forever. Adoption in Missouri, like in every other state, can come in multiple forms.
The type that most people think of is closed adoption, where there is no contact with the adoptive family. In our experience, however, most birth mothers choose open adoptions instead. This type of adoption allows the birth mother to receive updates about their child. There is even the possibility that the birth mother can see their child. While the adoptive parents retain legal custody, you could still be part of your child’s life should you wish.
Do You Want to Take Part of Adoption in Missouri?
Birth mothers are the reason why the adoption process is even possible in the first place. While adoption can be a difficult option to consider, birth mothers are the ones brave enough to confront it. Although choosing adoption often comes with heartache and anxiety, it might be the best decision for your child. You are not a bad person for wanting to give your child a better future.
If you decide that adoption is the right thing for your child, please contact Adoption Choices of Missouri today. Out of all the adoption agencies near you, we promise the most caring support for all our birth mothers.