Adoption and Grandparents in Missouri: 4 Helpful Tips
Do you have a daughter who has made the choice to place her baby for adoption? If so, you might have some questions or concerns. It is completely natural to want the best for your daughter. The good news is that Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. Here are some useful tips on adoption and grandparents as you follow your daughter on her adoption journey.
Be Supportive in the Adoption Process
Your daughter is going through an emotional journey. She has chosen to place her baby for adoption and with that comes a whole set of new experiences and feelings. One of the best things that you can do to help is to be as supportive as you can. If possible, offer to accompany or drive her to doctor’s appointments and check-ups. Listen to her if she needs to talk through anything. Practice being non-judgemental and open-minded. Remember, this is likely a new experience for everyone and you will all do a lot of learning along the way.
Educate Yourself about Adoption
Education can often alleviate any fears we hold towards something new. There are so many resources available for you to learn more about the adoption process. Our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri is happy to help answer any specific questions that you may have. Try checking our birth mother blog posts or website for information. You can also try googling adoption and you’ll find a multitude of informative websites and organizations.
Keep in mind that you are educating yourself to better understand what your daughter may be going through as a birth mother. It is important not to use your new information as a way to influence her choices or decisions. She is in control of her own adoption journey and while she may turn to you for advice, avoid offering unsolicited opinions or negative thoughts. Remember, she chose adoption because it was the right path for her and respecting her decision is very important.
Find Adoption Support Groups or Counseling for Yourself
If you find yourself worrying constantly about each step in your daughter’s adoption journey, it might be helpful to find counseling services. Speaking to a professional about your worries can help you work through your feelings. This is a big part of your daughter’s life, and therefore is also a big part of yours, and it is okay to experience a range of emotions. Taking care of yourself will help you be supportive and emotionally available for your daughter.
Counseling services may also be beneficial if you are struggling with feelings of grief or confusion post-adoption. Depending on the type of adoption your daughter chooses, you may or may not have a relationship with your grandchild as they grow up. Talking to someone about these emotions can be a helpful way to handle and understand them.
Make Plans as a Birth Grandparent
If your daughter has chosen an open adoption, you might have a relationship with your grandchild post-adoption. Communicate with your daughter around the type of involvement that you will be able to have in your grandchild’s life. From there, you can plan for any future communication or visits with your birth grandchild.
You might plan what you’d like to share with them in a letter or choose some special family photographs to send them. Maybe you’d like to receive pictures and updates of your grandchild as they grow up. There are many different ways that a post-adoption relationship might look for birth grandparents, but you must always honor the agreements that your daughter develops with her child’s adoptive family.
Adoption and Grandparents
The important things to remember about adoption and grandparents are to be open, supportive and kind. Remember that it is okay to experience intense emotions as a birth grandparent. Take time to care for yourself, so that you are able to be a supportive part of your daughter’s adoption journey.
Throughout it all, keep in mind that at Adoption Choices of Missouri your daughter’s safety and comfort are our top priorities. We understand the unique and emotional nature of each birth mother’s adoption journey and we will make sure that your daughter is well supported.
Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.
She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.