Birth Mother Blog

5 Things to Know about Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents

By Samara Wiley

Choosing your child’s adoptive family may not be a simple task as you browse through potential parents for your child. But, as you do so, remember you are not alone. If you are giving a child up for adoption in Missouri, remember that your adoption caseworker is there to help you determine what you are looking for in your adoption journey, and who might be the best fit. As you’re looking through the prospective adoptive parent profiles and narrow down your options, keep this in mind. Everything will be ok. Ask yourself: I’m considering adoption for my baby, and I’m open to having lesbian adoptive parents raise my child, but what would that look like? Would they agree to an open adoption? Will my child have a good life with them?

What Your Child Will Gain with Lesbian Adoptive Parents

  1. Embracing Diversity and Openness

The LGBT community embraces diversity, no matter what your culture or religious beliefs may be. So, with lesbian adoptive parents, your child will learn how to be accepting of everyone, no matter what. He or she will be taught that individuality is something to be celebrated, not judged or discriminated against. This will help your child have a stronger and more healthy sense of self as they grow up as well. 

Your child will be encouraged to ask questions and maintain an open line of communication with their adoptive parents, strengthening the bond they all have together and build a foundation of trust. Being honest and transparent is one of the many keys to success — especially with open adoption. 

  1. Combating Challenges

As your child develops, there is a risk that he or she may endure challenges, as well as mental or emotional issues. These struggles can stem from various things, but your child’s lesbian adoptive parents will be there to support and comfort him or her through it. Because of the similar challenges both adoptive mothers faced in their own lifetimes — separate and together — they will have a wealth of knowledge and tools to pass on to your child. 

For example, if your child experienced an act of judgment or bullying at school, he or she will learn how to healthfully stand up for themselves and learn that who they are is enough. This will help your child learn to believe in themselves and gain confidence 

  1. Communication and Trust

As aforementioned, communication and trust are two of the secrets to success with any adoption, but especially one where there is an open adoption agreement. As a birth mother, having your child raised by lesbian adoptive parents may be a new idea for her, and you may not understand at first how this type of family unit operates. This is where communication and trust come in.

As soon as you select your child’s adoptive parents, talk with them. Set up a time to meet, whether that’s virtually or in person. Get to know them. This will all give you a glimpse of the life that your child will have. It will also help you establish trust with them and affirm that you’ve made the right choice.  

  1. Promote a Sense of Identity

Identity is as crucial to an adoptee as it is their adoptive parents. Within an open adoption with lesbian adoptive parents, your child will never lack in learning the importance of who they are and instilling a strong sense of self. Helping your child grow with this knowledge will help shape him or her into a confident, independent, and happy adult. This, in turn, can lead to courage when faced with tough life choices further down the road. 

  1. Nurturing Kindness

Lesbian adoptive parents will raise their children to be kind and compassionate to others. Learning this at a young age will impact your child in a positive way, and teach them to see the world with a wider perspective. 

This goes hand-in-hand with having them develop into more loving and accepting human beings overall. 

Lesbian Adoptive Parents in Missouri

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we support open adoptions with you the birth mother and the chosen adoption family. We believe in openness and transparency throughout your adoption process. Our agency is here to offer support and care that you as adoptive parents need during this life-changing process. We will ensure that your child is happy and is loved by becoming a part of your family.